Moving Our 4.5 Year Old to Downstairs Bedroom

I agree with Jess S. completely. Keeping the two kids together through the transition would be ideal. Otherwise, is it possible to use the room dowstairs for the first couple of weeks for you and baby? You may not want to wake everyone up. If the kids were both downstairs and the baby's room was upstairs you wouldn't have that problem either. You can move things around later when they get a little older. I did the same thing but my daughter was around 8. She ended up feeling excluded and sad because we spent so much time upstairs.

I would make sure that there is plenty of nightlights or small lamps all over the place so she can see if she wakes up in the middle of the night. I would also make the transition a slow transition, maybe a week. Set the room up let her do some decorating so the space feels more like her space. Have her spend time in the room during the day watching movies, coloring or playing. That way she will become accustomed to the room. Maybe invite a friend for a sleep over the first night she is sleeping all night in the room, that way she is not alone but not depending upon Mommy or Daddy for comfort.

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Start talking about it now with her to get her excited about having a room down there. Don't to be excited about it, too, and not sound worried/scared for her as that will make her feel that way, too. Is the room already decorated? If not, have her pick out the wall colors and "theme" or something like that so she can make it HER room. I found our children did much better when I'd talk to them about what we were going to do and why (new baby is coming, we're getting a new house, etc). Make sure to have night lights and also let her know you have the monitor down there so you'll be able to hear her. She'll probably surprise you with how well she does with the transition! Good luck with the move and Congratulations on baby #3!

H.,

Do you plan to have the new baby in your room to start? Maybe you can put the transition off a bit longer, until your new baby is a few months old. How many more months do you have to go?

I see a huge difference in my son as he approaches age 5. He is constantly surprising me with what he chooses to do on his own, what he is no longer scared of, etc. If you could even wait until spring, the days are longer, it isn't so dark in the morning, maybe that would help with the transition.

I agree with the previous poster to review exit plans, invest in good alarms, and make sure your daughter is able to find her way to the front door if needed.

Another option is to set her room up in the basement. Put all her stuff down there, but make sure there is a place she can sleep (in a sleeping bag maybe) in the old room. My SIL did this when they moved to a new house. Her oldest needed time to make that transition downstairs, so he continued to sleep in the same room as his sister until he was ready. She could play down there, get dressed, etc., but maybe still sleep upstairs until she is really ready to make the big move.

Good luck, and congratulations on your soon to be baby!
J.

Our 4 year old daughter is also on a different floor from us for the same reason- the other rooms aren't big enough for our furniture. We moved into this house when she had just turned 3. We had the exact same fears! We secured the doors so she wouldn't escape outside and always stressed that if she needed anything she can come get us. We used a monitor for several months until we knew that she had adjusted well. She did much better than I thought she would. I love the idea of the talking smoke alarm. I'm going to look into that. Since you've already been in your house for awhile, she already knows the layout and knows where your bedroom is. As long as you have some night lights in the hallways so she can find you if she needs you, I think she'll be find. She might end up on the floor in your bedroom or her old bedroom a few times, but that's not a big deal. She'll probably love to have her own room, especially if you let her help decorate it. Congrats on your upcoming little one!

We are opposite. We just moved into a new house and have the master bedroom, family room, spare bedroom, bath and laundry downstairs and the living room, bathroom, kitchen, and two bedrooms upstairs. We have our 2 1/2 year old daughter upstairs in one bedroom and are planning on putting her soon to be born sister in the other bedroom upstairs after she becomes a few months old (those bedrooms are the smallest plus she picked her room and wanted the one with pink carpet). She knows where our room is and she can easily get to us if she needs us. We also have a monitor set up just in case. I understand your worry. It is normal. However, things being as they are, you just have to keep telling yourself that she will be fine (because she will) and if she is ok with being downstairs then no worries. If she freaks out and hates it, you are in a whole other boat. If it makes you feel better have her go into her new room and yell for you when you are in your bed to make sure that you can hear her if she needs you or do a trial run of her coming upstairs in the dark to find you should the need arise.

I was just wondering if you gave any thought to moving both your children to the lower bedroom. You indicate it's small but twin beds work well in an L shape and work nicely for two children so close in age. It sounds like they are really comfortable sharing a room. It is scary having one only approaching three years old sleep a level from you but it may be comforting for both of them. The older one may not feel alone and may better understand giving up the upper room to a new sibling if both she and her brother move together to the lower level and continue to share a bedroom, just a different bedroom.

I know you don't want your three year old downstairs, but if the two have been sharing a room, why not move them both? I bet your three year old would sleep better since he won't have to hear the new baby every few hours. My kids, now 2, 5 and 6 are all downstairs. My two year old has a room by himself down there and he gets up in the morning and comes straight upstairs. My other two share a room and they are fine. They have never not loved their room, and its never been a question about them being on a different floor, it just is...it is the way of our house. Don't be too scared, you will learn to love it!