Moving 9 Month Old to Crib

Does she sleep in her crib for naps? If not this is where I would start. I didn't like the cry it out method either- I think I cried harder than she did! So there are other methods out there to use. I just stay in the room with her and pat her or rub her face until she falls asleep. Seems to work for now.

Hello T.,

I agree with everyone who says it is not necessary to leave them crying in their room while you suffer in the hallway. My 8 month old slept in our bed since birth. It has been so wonderful but now as you said we are starting to wake her so its time for her to go to her own crib so she can get a full night of sleep. Its all about routine and getting her used to it, it wont happen in one night. I give my daughter a bath so she feels nice and clean and then give her a bottle around 8:30 or so. But instead of holding her, i prop her up on one of our big fluffy comfortable pillows against the wall so she isnt laying flat (in our bed still). Im right next to her of course holding helping her hold her bottle because she starts to doze off AND because if she sees me walk away she freaks thanks to good old separation anxiety. I also have a small TV on very quietly for me and for some light. Anyway, she usually finishes her bottle but right before she finishes it completely i take it out of her mouth to see if she stays asleep. If she wakes up i put the bottle back in and let her have whats left and if not, i leave it out. I let her lay there for about 10 - 15 minutes and make sure she is good and asleep. Then I gently pick her up, stand up and we slowly dance our way to her room where I have already turned the lights off and removed all the toys from her crib and have the crib ready. Then I lay her on her tummy. She usually squirms a bit but i put my hand on her back and rub lightly or sometimes just plain hold her down with one hand on her back! Gently of course, hee hee and just for a minute or so, shes not crying or anything it just helps her feel like mama is still holding her or something i dont know. if it doesnt work, i just pick her up right away dont let her start crying or she will really wake up, and slow dance a little more then try again a few minutes later. Did that several times one night until she finally just stayed and now it has gotten easier, she stays the first time i put her down now. Have done that for two weeks now and last night she finally slept in there from 8:30 - 5 am!! All nights arent the same of course. sometimes she still wakes up and i let her cry (more like noises and not crying) for a few minutes, not long at all, and only if it isnt an all out screaming because if it is that means shes awake. In that case i pick her up right away and if i feel like working at it that night, i walk around the house with her and try to put her in her crib again, if i dont feel like working i just bring her to our bed and we all go to sleep again. I figure she slept in there half the night so Im happy. Plus I love her and miss her so I welcome anytime I can bring her to bed with me. Just do it slowly, let her play in her crib and take naps in there so she becomes familiar with it. Just dont torture the child by letting her scream for an hour until she falls asleep. These are our babies and its ok to comfort them. They will have plenty of time to learn how to take care of themselves later. This is how I do it anyway. You will find your way but I hope I have been able to help a little.

Hi T.! Good for you for co-sleeping, when it's good it's awesome! We co-slept as well & our goal was to have her in her own crib by 12 months. Well we got her there by about 10 1/2 - 11 months. 1st off, does she nap in her crib? That's where I started, that way she was familiar & comfortable with not only her bed, but her room. I breastfeed so I don't know if this will work for you or not, but you said she falls asleep with her bottle so I'm thinking it will work. I feed her to sleep, then let her lay there in my lap for a little while (10 or so minutes) then I transfer her into her crib when she's good & asleep. That's the tricky part, at 1st she would wake up, but I kept up with 'the plan' every night & in about a week we/she had it down. Now she sleeps in her own crib for approx. 10 hours every night!!!! Good luck & enjoy!
God bless - H. B

Oh yes - I forgot. I DID NOT let her 'cry it out'. Can't handle that - seems cruel. At 1st she would wake up after 30 minutes or an hour, I'd go get her & put her in bed with us, throughout the week her time in her crib got longer & longer. Again - hope this helps & good luck.

We have three children and did not do the CIO method. We just didn't think it was necessary. At 9 months, she still thinks you and she are one person. She does not understand that you are two different people. It is going against your natural instinct to let her cry.

Suggestions: Try putting your baby on her tummy and rubbing her back. Follow the same routine every night. For example, dinner, storytime, bed. Stay in the room with her and read her books in a chair near her crib. During the daytime take her for a stroll when she is tired. When she falls asleep, transfer her to the crib. Read Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears. Hope this helps!

T.,
I'm not sure if it will work or not, because your baby may be too old, but go to www.dunstanbaby.com. Priscilla Dunstan has discovered babies have a universal language that can be learned. Listen to the examples at her site so see if it might be of help to you.

A little About Me: I'm an about to be grandmother exploring all the fantastic new possibilities for babies. Another site I found is: www.yourbabycanread.com. I already have Dunstan's DVD and will be getting the reading one soon.

T.
I am a mother of 3 kids ages almost 4 years, 18 months, and 3 months. I totally understand what you are going through as far as it killing you to let her cry. Now I put my kids in their cribs at 6 weeks old. However my oldest did not sleep through the night until he was 2 years old and my middle son did not sleep through the night until he was 10 months. With the oldest son I did not start the cry to sooth yourself method until he was 9 months old and it took a few weeks for him to finally go to bed and to sleep without screaming for 30 minutes or so. But it killed me evernight. I would have to tuck him in his crib, shut his door, and go to my room (on the other side of the house) and shut my door with a pillow over my ears to be able to make it. This is where your husband should be able to step in and really help you. Usually husbands can take the crying easier than us mother's can. My husband would let the baby cry for a while and then go in and sooth him for a minute and then he would finally go to sleep. Like I said with the first child it took a few weeks to get into a routine. Now with my second son I started the process at 6 months and it went much smoother and faster. He started going to sleep after only about 5 or 6 nights of self soothing crying. Also I would suggest not letting your daughter go to sleep on her bottle. I did that with the boys and had the same issue you are having where they would wake up as soon as they felt me put them down. With my new daughter (3months) I make sure she stays awake for feeding and put her down (with a pacifier) while she is still awake. The process is going alot better the 3rd time around. She puts herself to sleep and 98% of the nights she sleeps through the night.
A little lengthy but I hope it helps. Good luck!

Hi T., Our son slept with us until about 10 or 11 months. I nurse him so it's easier. When he gets restless "mom" is the last to get sleep and sleep is very important. We moved his crib into our room. I nursed him and as soon as he fell asleep I moved him into his bed. Almost 7 months later continuing to do this; he actually asked to be put in his bed because he is used to it and he knows he'll sleep better there too. Stay with consistancy, that works with everything.
Good luck and God Bless!

A Little About me: 44 year young spa business owner in Brenham. Married 7 years to a pretty great guy, 3 step-daughter (14, 14 & 21) and our son about to be 17 months

I have a four year old that still sleeps with us and to no eval I cannot get him out of our bed. I learned with the second one, he's 19 months now. That once he was to big for the bassinet I put him in his bed. It took about a week for him to learn to self soothe. I did have one of those aquariums things that is attached to the bed, it's lighted, the fish move and it's got music. It seemed to do the trick and once the batteries ran out he was good to go on his own. Whatever you do stick to your method or you'll have a four year old in your bed!

Be gentle to yourself! This isn't your "fault" and you are doing the best you can. Each stage and age will bring you new challenges. As soon as you figure this one out, there will be something else!
We co-slept, too, and I think my oldest started going to bed in his crib around 9 or 10 months. I did the "going back and checking every few minutes" method, because the time I tried to stay away, when I finally went back in he was screaming because he had pulled himself up for the first time and couldn't get back down and was hanging on for dear life to the crib rails! I felt so evil!
So even if you feel like it keeps baby crying, I would always continue to calmly check in and let her know you are there. She trusts you to help her when life is hard, and going to sleep alone can be rough for some babies, so stay close and speak to her softly and tell her you are there for her and she can do this. Leave the room and then return and give a soft touch and voice to let her know you are still available for her. Maybe make up a sleep mantra, a nice sentence you say over and over to help her drift off. It may help you stay calm and focused as well.
The other thing you need to remember is to stay consistent and know that whatever you decide to try may take a week of what seems like failure before it starts to work. So make up a strategy from all the great advice you'll likely read from the mamas here, and then stick with it.

Read Babywise.

Also, get a video monitor and find a place in your house where you cannot hear her cry. You are going to have to let her cry it out.

First, try to do it in stages. Can you put her crib in your room? That way, as she falls asleep you can start putting her in her crib. She can get used to sleeping in the crib, but she will know that you are still right there. Once she is used to that, then you can move the crib into her room and go from there.

Second, people have different ideas about what the CIO method really means. I do not support the idea of letting a child just sit in a crib and cry indefinitely. However, your child does have to get used to getting herself to sleep on her own. If you are ready to move her out of your bed, then you are going to have to be prepared to help her learn how to fall asleep on her own. This is a commitment on your part, but it will eventually work.

Establish a regular bedtime routine if you don't already have one (book, bath, song, etc.) Try putting her down when she is sleepy, but not fully asleep (and don't let her have a bottle in bed!) Pat her back, say good night and leave the room. Be very matter-of-fact about it and don't get all emotional about "leaving" her in the room or she will pick up on it.

If she cries when you leave them room, wait five minutes, go back in and settle her back down and leave the room again. You don't want to be in there for more than a few minutes - just long enough to get her to lay back down and reassure her that you are still there. Keep going back in at five minute intervals until she is asleep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, do the same five minute routine until she settles back down.

After a few nights, try to stretch the time out before you go back in to her (7 minutes, 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 15 minutes, etc.) Keep increasing the interval. You will find that you have to go back in for her less and less. Eventually, she will go to sleep without the crying at all. She just needs to be reassured that you are still there and that you are not leaving her.

Keep in mind that you may take two steps forward and one step back with this process. If her schedule gets disrupted due to illness or travel, you may find that you have to go back to five minute intervals and then build up again. This is normal.

We did this with my daughter and it worked. I won't lie and say it was easy. It was very emotional for me, but my daughter is happy and secure and sleeps very well in her own bed (she is 2 and a half now.)

Good luck!

Like you, I am not a fan of the cry-it-out method. If it doesn't feel right to you, then you should listen to your instincts as a mom. :) I think you should consider why you felt it was time to move her to a crib. Does it feel right to you and baby, or are you being pressured by friends and/or family? If you made the decision based on your own instincts and the baby's seeming to be ready, then maybe try moving her bed into your room next to you, or sleeping with her in her room. You shouldn't feel that anything is your fault. Many families choose to have a family bed and have their children sleeping with them until they can get out of their own beds and walk to their parents' room if they need them. I have an 18 month old that still sleeps with me because we live in a 2 story home and his room is on the other side of the house from our master. Whatever you decide, make sure it is right for you, baby and hubby.

Put her in the crib and turn the lights down low, put some music on and leave. HARD I KNOW. But it will take awhile, you will need to go through almost the same thing when you take her off the bottle. And yes it is partly your fault, but many people do this so you are not alone in it. Leave the door partly open and walk away, have your tears in the livingroom. Been there.IT DOES GET BETTER.

Ohh T.,
I feel you pain, but that is pretty much what your going to have to do to break her from sleeping w/you.One thing you can do before bed time is do continues playing w/her to tired her out.Maybe not so long of a nap durring the day so she'll be tired in the evening.What ever you do don't go back into that room once you put her in her crib or she'll get use to you going in there when she cries for you and you'll have to start all over.
She will eventually get use to the crib.
BE STRONG and CONSISTENT!!

First of all, don't put all that guilt on yourself-you have your whole lifetime for guilt now that you have a child :). But seriously, they are going to cry. It is a fact of life. I know exactly how you feel. I am in this process as well, yet my son is 2.5 and I can't get him out of my bed. But I could if I just stuck to my guns, listened to him cry and kept at it. It will stop, trust me. Especially when they are that young. Your daughter will realize that you are there when she wakes up, it will be rough for a couple of nights, but she will understand that it's ok, she can sleep in her crib. What I have learned is when you give in to the crying, it will never subside, when the baby learns that crying doesn't work, they stop. Especially when nothing is really wrong. Keep your head up, be strong, teach your daughter that it is ok to be independent. Good Luck!

First off, I am no expert, but when doing this with mine, although at a younger age..I found that little increments were best. For instance, placing her in the crib for a few minutes a day to watch her mobile, or play with toys. Anything to make it more familiar and a happy place to be. And then gradually start leaving her there for naps and then on to bedtime. Relax and take it slow.. I guess even now to help, it might be easier to move the crib to your room for awhile just to make the surroundings more familiar, and she would at least be able to see you. Just some ideas. I hope that you get some sleep soon!

This is NOT your "fault" it's totally normal. ANd if you feel like your baby crying is not good for her, then trust your gut. Some people feel it is and some people feel it isn't. I personally don't let my babies "cry it out" as I feel it is traumatic.

Perhaps try some "baby steps" to get her out of the bed. Maybe first start by putting her crib mattress on the floor of your room. That might allow her to sleep (knowing you're in there) but not WITH you. YOu will have to reassure her at first (and that will take away your sleep, too!). Then perhaps move the mattress in her room, lying down with her for a few days. Then after that has worked,maybe you can put the mattress back in the crib. You could also try putting her crib in your room near your bed. SLowly move it out (by that I mean have it near your bed, then move it a little bit away, then a little bit more...). You could also let her fall asleep in your bed and then try to move her.

I will tell you, though, that you are still going to be losing sleep for a while this way. If she's waking at night, THAT is going to be what keeps waking you, even if she's not in the room with you. For us, co sleeping didn't occur until my kids were over a year! And it allowed us all to sleep more when they started sleeping with us.

I also think the falling asleep to a bottle thing might have to change for her but don't change both things at once! Start with the crib, and worry about the bottle later. Research suggests it is not good for their teeth, and when they suck for comfort they are still drinking more than they would otherwise (overeating). Unlike breastfeeding, which the baby can control if he/she is eating or not, the bottle will still provide sustenance when baby doesn't necessarily need it. Of course, if you feel she does still need the nutrition, keep doing it. All babies are different and yours may truly need the bottle more. MIne never took a bottle, so I have no suggestions on weaning from it!

Many people swear by the CIO (cry it out) method, and that it works. But even Dr. Ferber (who first wrote about this method) says it is not a method for all people. If you truly feel that cying is traumatic for her, don't do it, despite the appeal of it working quickly. Anytime anything happens in your life, you'll be back to square one with the crying for several days, and I don't think you'll want to put your baby girl through that. Now if YOU feel that it's fine, do that. But from your post it sounds as though you are not.

I would instead suggest the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It takes patience and analysis, but if you use those things, you will be rewarded in the end. She suggests a 10 day (I think it's 10) sleep log where you write down what is going on all night. THen you have to analyze it to see what you need to do. She offers many suggestions on how to LOVINGLY help your child a) stop falling asleep with a bottle b) move into her crib and c)sleep through the night. It is a gentler, loving way to help baby with those things.

Good luck! It's hard, and no method is right for everyone. People will suggest CIO, Dr. Ferber, and Ezzo's Babywise, but it truly sounds like those aren't going to be the methods for you if you already feel the crying is detrimental. You have to do what you think is right. I know the sleeplessness is difficult but you'll be rewarded after you have a baby that is confident, secure, and comfortable sleeping on her own, rather than having to cry herself to that position.

Yes it is your fault but its your fault because you love your child very much and I commend you highly for that. It is okay. It is only a stage be strong and be patient. Infants are learning and even crying is a part of learning. I cried like you, and made some mistakes are we all perfect parents no we all learn for the first time. Your doing great just hang on. Slowly it will all work out and you will be proud of your baby when she learns to sleep on her own maybe a stuffed bear or animal may help to given them comfort. Good luck - I can tell you are a great mother.

I just moved my now 7 month old daughter to the crib. She has slept with her Dad and I since birth as well. It was a little rocky in the beginning, but now I think she enjoys it as much as we do because she has more room to move about at night time. My suggestion is to get her use to it during the day when she naps and maybe at night it won't be a huge issue.

First - you are doing great.

My son hates naps and use to wake up the moment I put him in his crib. As I feed him I shush him (shush shush shush) then as I put him in the crib I continue the sound and pat him. Then I run out of the room. If he starts crying I go down the hall and count to myself. Then after a set number I count to if he is still crying I go back in - don't say anything and pat him. If he is really mad I pick him up and walk or sit back down and give him more bottle. If he starts to wiggle I then put him back in his crib and walk out. It takes time but it worked.

For the really hard times and when I think I can't go on and need a break I will put him in his crib and hop in the shower. With the shower on I can't hear him cry. Yes he is usually crying when I get out and I go hold him. Lots of love and you will get through this.

Did your baby learn something new? Sometimes when they learn new things their sleep pattern gets off.

Hi T.,
I feel for you because you have really started off your little one with a difficult habit. Here is one suggestion- don't use the crib as "punishment for her" right now she see's it as something out of her norm and not a friendly thing- there are a couple of things you might try- put her in bed with all her comfy toys- let her play there without having to "sleep"....let her learn to love her bed toys- and put something in her bed that "smells of you" like your pillow or something that she is used to having next to her when she was in your bed............there may be times when she will fuss and cry but let her know her bed is her lovey thing- ...........she will eventually learn to sleep- but it may take some time. I know the "rule is" not to pick them up and let them cry- and it is hard to do- especially when you know they are so unhappy..... if she learns to "love her bed" by playing there she will eventually learn that is is "good and safe" place to be and sleep better.
Good Luck and Blessings

Girlfriend this is not your fault, it's just babies!:) They go through soooooooo many things along the path of growing up. My little darling has been in a kind of grumpy mood for about a week now, who knows why, but it passes. Now as far as moving your baby to the crib, you might have to endure a few tears, but if you stick to your guns she will do just fine. They really do take their cues from us and no crying won't hurt her, babies cry and then two minutes later are giggling and the world is just fine for them. Now if you are set on not using any kind of CIO then I am sure there are some moms and articles out there that can give you some great ideas. I have let mine cry at times and he always adjusts to whatever he needs to. I am about to have to change to a toddler bed, YIKES! So that should be another great adventure. If you decide to let her cry a bit, you can go in about every 10 to 15 minutes pat her and tell her you love her and leave the room. I personally found that staying out of the room was much more helpful and made the adjustment process much quicker but you are mom and whatever you decide to do will be the right choice:) Hang in there, I know it is so tough but it will get better promise!

We are still co-sleeping but have had other sleep challenges that I have addressed using Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution". Even if you can't/don't want to fully apply all the techniques, it can give you peace of mind that what you experience during this process is normal.