Mother/son Dance - Ontario,CA

Fun! I did this with my son when he was about that age. You don't need to do anything else. The event itself is special and just doing something together is special. They had a chocolate fountain and delicious finger foods. Everything was decorated. They had each mom and son get their photo taken together and they sent it to you later. We dressed up. My son hung out with me for about the first 10 minutes and then spend the rest of the night running around or dancing with his friends...all of them acing like little maniacs (sugar and other boys...woohoo!). I chatted with other moms, thinking...this is not how I expected this to go! It was fun though. I cherish that photo!

I'd skip the dinner, since it's hard to time a restaurant meal so you can get out in time. And, as you say, they will have food at the dance. You don't need a little kid with a belly ache - don't overstuff him because the dancing can get them riled up.

Are you sure he wants something like a token or a flower? Sometimes putting too much adult expectation on a child's dance can pressure them too much. They don't really know what to expect, do they? My experience with dances is that kids are pretty uncomfortable with them up through middle school and often going into high school. If the parents start outdoing each other, kids can feel left out if their parent didn't do as much. And I really hope the school has made allowances for kids who don't have moms or dads! This should not be about exclusion, but about inclusion!

Also find out if he knows how to dance or is worried about it! You could practice ahead of time. Kids can feel as awkward about dancing at this age as well as much later, just as they feel awkward about asking someone to dance, or about how to dress or act.

I'd go simpler - find out as much as you can ahead of time, and don't overdo it. Let him pick out a special shirt if you want to (but not a suit unless the school is requiring that - which I hope they are not due to the expense for families who can't afford it!), and maybe get a picture frame (or make one together) and put in a photo of the two of you either at the dance or at home before you leave.

If you haven't started a scrapbook for him, you can start one now, for milestones like this. Don't expect him to get as much out of this as you do - he still is so young and has no frame of reference, but later in life it will be fun to look back at these photos.

Remember that an evening dance is very hard on kids who are tired too, so don't build it up so much that things get ruined if he's cranky, tired, or wants to go home! Keep your expectations very moderate and make sure you are in line with what he has been told at school or with discussions with his friends. His idea of what this evening is may be quite different from yours, and I imagine that applies to all the kids!

Don't make a bigger deal to overshadow his evening with you.

Our father daughter and mother son dances actually included small corsages and buttoineres (sp?) as part of the ticket price, so you might want to find out about that ahead of time. There were also special activities planned during the event (photos, games, crafts) so there wasn't really anything extra you needed to do, just show up and have fun!

I would have him eat somthing at home before he goes in case he doesn't
eat there (he's busy having fun/exctied, seeing his friends etc.).
I was going to say take him to dinner ahead of time but I'd hate to make
him too tired beforehand with too much to do & sendory overload. ;)
Maybe give him a small token toy to commemorate the night (whatever
you think he'd like).
Take a picture of the two of you at home before you go in case you can't get a photo there.

How fun! Do whatever you think he would like/remember as a special memory.

If you take him out to dinner or give him a boutonniere, just explain to that's what grown ups do when they go out for dinner/dancing.

I hope your family has loads of fun!

School dances at this age (through most of elementary school) are for the kids to run around with their friends while the adults chitchat.
It's not a dinner/boutonniere type event no matter how much they might try to make it one.
Think of it as a massive school sponsored play date with varying degrees of adult supervision.

I would skip the boutineer but would take a photo and get a frame for it. And fyi most of the time the good at these is cookies and sweets. Check on that. We always did dinner first at place of their choice.