Moms of Only Children by Choice: What's the Most Annoying Comment You Get?

I am a mom of 3, but I just had to comment - People actually say those things to you?! People never cease to amaze me.

If it were me, I would think the most annoying comments would actually be those in the form of a question - ie, "why aren't you having any more?" Like it is their business!

I am an only child and I feel deprived but not because I didn't have siblings but because my parents SUCKED!

=)

Wow, i don't have an only child but I did not know that people really made such dumb comments. So funny how people comment when they think you have too many kids or not enough. I've had silly comments about my kids being Sooo far apart when they are only 5 1/2 years apart.

My daughter has only one child, and he will BE her only. When people comment and ask her when he is getting a sibling (he is 3 1/2) - she says "I nearly died having this one, he is my one and only miracle baby". Then goes on to brightly say "no more waking in the middle of the night, changing diapers or potty training! YAY!"

Everyone gets judged whether they have no children, one child or multiple children.

People with no children : When are you going to have kids??We are not going to have kids. --Well thats selfish!
People with one child---when are you going to have another? Were not going to have another baby. Wow, aren't you afraid your child will be so spoiled and will be bored without a sibling??
People with 2 or more kids---Don't you know how that happens already? Your going to soon have your own soccer team...Gonna try for a girl? Gonna try for a boy? Haven't you heard of global warming and the world is already overpopulated. Why are you bringing another kid into the world. There are too many kids already on this earth....

I hate when people project their opinions. Women have the right to choose when, if and how many children they have or don't have.

I just tell people thats private information and they should be more polite then to ask questions about my reproductive choices. Unless you are offering to pay all the expenses it takes to properly raise a happy, healthy child, then they have no say or opinion.

OH, hes gonna be spoiled. He needs another brother or sister around so he knows someone. Isn't it about time for your next one.

I chose only one because I am not that mom figure I had envisioned and to bring another child into this world would not be fair. Don't get me wrong, I love my son but I could never handle another. If people want more than one, I think its awesome but I just could never do it.

People just don't know how to mind their business.

My favorite (sarcasm,) "You're just limiting your joy." I find it insulting to insinuate, that my child only brings so much joy, and I have to have more to really have enough. Rubbish.

Having more children doesn't make sense to use, and we don't want to expand out family. I'm confident in our family size, so usually the comments roll off. That comment really gets me, though. I've called people on it.

No worries, while you're "depriving" yours, people with multiples have to hear, "Well it was your choice to have so many kids" every time they confess to being tired by the same sort of person.

Fact: Onlies AND multiples can lead rewarding full lives full of love and adventure.

Fact: People who make those comments to either set are dingbats.

So we must all grease up to let things roll of :) I never make those rude "only child" comments, but when I hear people call kids "spoiled" JUST BECAUSE they're an only child, that's rude. I have a friend with three kids (who are all very spoiled) who likes to say that about people with only one kid. It's like she thinks that because she never says no to anything and lets the kids run all over her, that parents of onlies must REALLY do that EVEN more....

Meh...as your only gets older, the comments cease.
You know, if other people feel so strongly about siblings...they should give them to THEIR kids! Unless someone is supporting and nurturing MY kid? Sorry, their opinions are null and void, IMO!

Constantly asking when we are having another child..It's annoying, and at times, just intruding.My MIL is notorious for asking,hinting, using examples, and offering stories of other families. The " won't he be lonely when he grows up, or don't you think he should have a sibling" types of questions irritate me to no end.

My son is happy, and comes from a very large family on my husband's side. He has three Aunts, and three Uncles, two cousins, and I am sure more to follow. He will never be without people or friends in his life.

My son will almost be 9 years old. I honestly have no desire to be pregnant again. It was a rough go the first time around.

In my heart I really would like to have another child (but that's in God's hands), so when people call me selfish for not having another baby I usually put away my true feelings and respond something like this:

"We've paid our debt to society; You want me to have another one.....write me a check"

Christina R.

I got those comments too.
I didn't WANT a second child and was not going to have a baby I didn't want.

My daughter and I both nearly died during her birth and I was NOT risking that again.

I countered the siblings/best friends argument with my own childhood. I have a sister that I love dearly but with whom I had no common interests growing up.
I was a tomboy, she hated getting dirty.
I listened to KISS and watched "Star Trek", she listened to Olivia Newton-John and watched "Little House on the Prairie."
I flew kites and climbed trees, she played with Barbies.

My daughter had plenty of playmates at day care and at school. She was never socially awkward; in fact, her teachers all described her as a leader in the classroom.

She also had my undivided attention much more than she would have if she had had siblings.

She is grown now, and she has told me on numerous occasions that she is GLAD she was an only child.

Whether you have one child or ten or none at all there will ALWAYS be people questioning your choices.
When I got pregnant with my third I was really surprised at the reaction of many of our good friends. We already had a boy and a girl, and they were shocked (and less than enthusiastic) at the news of our pregnancy. As if the reason to have a child is because you "trying" for a boy or a girl :-(
Try not to let the ignorant comments get to you, and be proud of your choice, your family and your child!

My daughter is an "only". I asked her a few times when she was younger if she minded being a only child. Her answer was always no. The most irratating question was "when are you having another baby?" My answer was when God gives you perfection, why question it. These were rude people that didn't know us. Because, after 10 yearrs of marriage, we adopted the most perfect child in the world. I even wrote a story for her about how God had picked her just for us. She is a mother of an "only" but married a man with 2 children. He has it good with one on one with mommy while in a family setting when his new brother & sister are there.

The comments seem to have died down for us, but I guest the most annoying was probably "An only child is a lonely child" ... from my mother. Bah!

My son is an only child and we've always heard many different comments, to when are you having the next one ? Or little girls are so great, have you thought about having one? (didn't know I had control over those things)

Anyway, now I tell people what my son tells me whenever I have asked him IF he wants another sibling.. His reply, "Mamma, I TOLD you I want to remain single." :) if it's good enough for him, then hey, no more children is good enough for me.. My son is VERY happy getting all the attention... in fact, he LOVES it...

I joke with him that when he is away at school, I bring out another baby.... and when he comes home , I hide it. The first thing he did when he got home was to say, OK WHERE ARE YOU HIDING IT!! :) anyway..... no more babies here.. :)

My pet pet peeve is that I get "is he your only one" comment from people that have several kids and are on welfare. I smile and usually just respond "yes". But I would like to say "I am smart enough to use birth control until I can afford more then one child because I refuse to be on welfare". But "hey thanks for your concern..."

"Children are a blessing from God!"

"God commands us to be fruitful and multiply" (a favorite of the local church ladies)

"Don't you want anymore?"

Not answering your exact question but answering from an only child perspective. Everyone always says to me, " oh, I can tell your an only child". Me: "why". Person: " I just can".

Yeah, that 'greatest gift' saying is usually justification for pregoholics who want to be the pregnant princess multiple times.
The notion that being an only child will somehow damage our son is pretty bad, too.
Growing up with my younger sister was an absolute nightmare.
Friends for life? Oh Lord! More like enemies for life.
My Mom's little brother was a complete disaster.
When we had our son, he's such a great kid - I just never wanted to put him through the torture I went through.
My husband is an only child and he was perfectly happy growing up that way.

I was going to comment, but I don't want to ruin your "JFF" post.

It's a good topic.

We have a well adjusted , well cared for 17 yr old only who is very responsible, mature and secure.

The comments seemed to dwindle as my answers to why an only continued to be consistent... She is my responsibility to get her out if college debt free. We've saved since before she was born in order to provide that as well as our own retirement.

Sure... I know sine call her spoiled and catered to but she is the Varsity captain of cheer, higher than a 4.0 GPA and a drive that can't be stopped.

We didn't make her that way, she was born into a driven family where failure is no option... She's lived it with us and call me crazy but my house is the one where everyone of her friends end up each weekend to finish school projects, have fun and hang out.

It's all about the stability of the family. We support her 100% + and she knows that.

You can't guarantee a sibling will be a blessing... It can be a very negative effect on the entire family dynamic.

You do what's best for you and don't worry about the unsolicited advice. I've had plenty if unsolicited advice and right now.. We're still on top. No negatives here from a one and only by choice.

I don't know that anyone has ever said anything particularly rude, but I've had many people say - don't you just want another one? Um, no, we don't, thank you very much. I have had moments (short ones) of mourning the good relationship I enjoy with my sisters and my daughter will never have. Those moments pass quickly when I reflect on my husband's lack of relationship with both his sisters (their choice) and my best friend's total lack of relationship with her estranged brother. A sibling doesn't always equal a good relationship, unfortunately.

People still ask me if I'm going to have "more". Considering I'm 46 and DH had a vasectomy like 8 years ago I don't think we're looking to have more. DD is 13 and a pleasure to be around. She's not spoiled and happily helps us and anyone else in need with not so much as a roll of the eyes. Heaven. Wouldn't change a thing. We like to say we got it right on the first try, so we're done. hee, hee.

I don't have an only. I have three daughters. However, my brother and his wife have an only daughter and she will likely be their only child. They suffered through ten years of infertility believing they would never have a child of their own. When she finally became pregnant, it was a terrible physical ordeal that compromised her already painful physical health. Even assuming she COULD get pregnant again, it would probably come close to killing her.

Obviously well meaning people don't know all of this back story when they make comments about giving my sweet goddaughter a sibling, but people don't consider situations like secondary infertility or compromised health of the mother during pregnancy. Without living in their shoes, comments about the size of someone else's family are rude at best... hurtful and insensitive at worst.

EVERY time we go to my MIL's house she shows me some new boys toys or clothing item she bought for "when you have a boy".

I smile and walk away. We are one and done with our daughter and she knows it...as if another pregnancy would guarantee a boy anyways.

My daddy said, "If you die he will have no siblings with which to grieve." wow--maybe true but wayyyyyyy too deep...

I am not a mom of an only child, I was sort of an only child. My siblings were 14 and 16 years older than me. While I did miss having a brother or sister close in age to play with, my parents were very good about letting me bring friends along whereever we went. So, while many of my girl friends were stuck hanging out with some bratty little brother on their family vacations, I always got to bring my best friends along. Anyway, I am fortunate that I have two boys who get along quite well, and even though they do get along I usually let them bring their own friends along on outings. I did have lots of people ask why I wasn't having a third so I could try for a girl.