Mommy Guilt - What Do You Do in the Morning?

Let him play. There is a lot of value in children being able to play by themselves and be "bored". We let my 2.5 yr old play in his room for 20-30 minutes and he reads and plays make believe. Let him entertain himself and get some sleep. You will be a better mom when you are rested...and patient!

I can relate to you. I have a 22 month old who wakes early, and I'm 5 months pregnant with my second baby, so I continually feel tired. My son wakes in the morning, and will often play independently in his crib for close to 30 minutes. When he calls out for me, however, I always go into his room and get him. I bring him into my bed and we cuddle for another 30 minutes or so. I have board books that I keep in my bedroom for this exact reason, and he looks at books while I rest on mornings that I am particularly tired. Maybe I'm overly maternal, but I wouldn't let my child call out for me and leave them in their room. To me, that signifies to the child that you aren't going to take care of their needs. I suggest bringing him wherever you are resting and giving him some type of books, toys, or other quiet entertainment until you get up for the day.

Aw you're a good mommy :) I am the same way with early mornings and so that is my 2 y/o's time to watch Sesame Street. I know many moms aren't keen on the idea of letting their toddler watch TV, but I really enjoy sitting down with her early in the morning with my coffee while she watches Sesame Street. We do limit her TV time to Sesame Street and sometimes one other show. She is really great at letter identification now, and I must say I owe it to that show and reading lots of books :)

Oh lord, my son is up at 5am EVERY DAY. Always has been an early riser.
We stall him and walk him back to bed until he starts to pound on the door.
Then we'll let him into our room and turn on cartoons. He sits in bed with us
and we sleep/slowly wake up while he tunes out.

That buys us about 1/2 hr, but then we have to get up.
He's shady, so there's no way that I'm letting him downstairs on his own. He's into everything.
So unfortunately, we go get him. Not guilt, we'd happily leave him if he'd let us. But once he starts pounding on the door, it turns into screaming very quickly, and his 5 month old sister is in the next room.

Bless your heart! First of all, the pregnancy will end eventually and, if you're like me, having an infant that wakes you up in the middle of the night for nursing is NOTHING compared to being pregnant. I'm just EXHAUSTED when I'm pregnant, so I totally sympathize. :)

Have you tried dark curtains? And keeping the room just a tad warmer than you would normally? My kids sleep best when the room is cozy warm and the curtains are dark. :)

Nothing wrong with telling your child, "It is not time to get up, honey!" Or with letting him play quietly in his room, but telling him he will have to wait until you get up to show you his book or puzzles. Alone play is GOOD for your child and getting rest is GOOD for you! As long as your child is safe -- and at three, my son was fine for alone play, and now, as a five year old, entertains his 2 year old sister (who can get out of her bed) and his 8 month old sister (who stays in her crib) in the mornings, while I get around.

Don't feel guilty. :) Congrats on your new addition. And, you know, I think siblings are the best gift you can give your children, and yourself. :) Siblings teach each other a lot of life lessons and believe it or not, will make your life easier and help you to relax a little. :) 3 years is a good span for first and second, or at least it was for us! :) Such a big helper!

Do you have a tv in your room? If not, get one! Then get up out of bed, lift him over the gate and bring him in your room. Sit him between you and your husband and let him watch tv, telling him not to move. Then, get some sleep! He should not be left alone upstairs.

My 2 1/2 year old crawls into bed with me anywhere between 5:30-7 (it's been really random lately) he will just lay there for a minute and then he usually asks me to turn on the tv so then he lays there and watches tv and I sleep (kind of) until my 4 month old wakes up. Sometimes he goes into his room and gets a few toys and plays on the floor while watching cartoons. I guess it's different for me since mine gets up and comes to me, I don't have to go to him in the morning. I think he's gotten used to the fact that I just don't get up until the baby is up. Sometimes he asks me for milk or something to eat so then I have to get up but I usually get right back into bed.

I think when he calls--you should go. He's probably soaked and I couldn't put that off!

We have don't bother us until 7 a.m. rule. :) It is more than ok for your son to wake-up naturally at that time and to keep himself occupied for a short period of time given his age. Be patient with this. Also, once he calls for you, have him crawl into bed with you for a few minutes. It give you time to start waking because I gaurantee you he won't stay still in your bed for long.

I know how you feel!
I had a 2 y/o and was pregnant.
In the mornings I would go in his room, take him out of his bed, change his diaper, get him a cup of milk/water/juice/ and a few light snacks.
While he's muchin and playing, I'm making myself coffee :)
Then I make breakfast.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, after breakfast and all that was done. I would put on a TV show for him and say "wake mommy up when the show is over"
He woke me up every time.

Now I know that kinda sounds dangerous to some mom's, but I know my son and know my home. There would be nothing for him to get into while I slept.

I did that only in the mornings, then of course when he went down for his nap, I would sleep more.
Don't feel bad. Your lil guy will be just fine for a few mins by himself.

My daughter will be 2 at the end of this month and she is usually up after I am in the mornings, but after nap time I always let her have some "quiet play time." She is still sleeping for about 2 hours in her room, and like your son is in a toddler bed and the room is baby proof. After she wakes up I listen to her play quietly with her books and toys over the monitor. When she starts calling for mommy I go on up and get her. I am 8 months pregnant so that extra time for me to rest/clean/cook/etc. is so much appreciated. Besides when children are playing by themselves they are not only gaining independence, but they are expanding their imaginations. It is good for children to be able to play by themselves.
On the days she does wake up to early for me, it's into the "big bed" (our bed) she goes, sometimes she will fall back to sleep or sometimes I give her my phone to play her games on while I doze off for a few more minutes.
I would probably check his diaper if he seems upset, or if he can tell you that's what he needs just ask him, and then bring him in with you or let him play.

If he is yelling for you I would get him. Then take him into the tv room and put some dry cereal out, turn on the TV and lie on the couch to get a little more sleep yourself.

I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old and our sleeping situation is the same - they are upstairs and we are downstairs, but we trust them to come down to our room when they wake up. That way if I am having a hard time rising, they can watch a cartoon in our room first. It works very well for us. Someday, you will have to trust him to come down the stairs on his own.

I think it is okay to let him play by himself, but I agree he should at least be acknowledged rather than locked into his room. Hope you can get some sleep!

My rule on the weekends is dont mess with me unless the sun is up. I have a 6 y/o and 2 y/o. I purposely keep them up late on weekends so they dont wake me up at the crack of dawn. As for during the week, I wake up around 6ish to get my daughter ready for school. Could you keep him up later at night so he doesnt wake so early? If not, I would just throw my 2 y/o in bed with me and let him watch tv.

When he starts calling I would probably go in there, change his diaper, and then ask him to play while you lie down on his bed and catch another hour?

Learning to play by themselves is an important skill -- don't feel guilty about encouraging it. I would recommend talking to your son and explaining that you need more sleep in the morning than he does, but that he is welcome to play quietly by himself until you get up. Ask him to try not to call for you, try to wait until you go up to him. Then, I would extend his play time by 5 min a day until you get to 30 or 45 min (or whatever time seems reasonable to you).

Oh, and one more thing. Don't be afraid to talk to your child about the problem (you needing more sleep). When kids (even young ones) understand the reason for something, they are much more helpful ... he may even have an idea of his own to help you!

I let my younger son (1.5) stay in his crib until 7:15 or until 30 min after he's woken up (whichever comes first) assuming he is making happy sounds, which he almost always does. I always go right up to my older son (3.5) when he calls for me, but he wakes up later and grumpier. However, my older son started dropping naps at 2.5 and completely stopped napping shortly after he turned 3 ... yet, I still enforce quiet play in his room during 'rest time'. When he was sometimes napping, sometimes not, I would make him quietly play for 1.5 hours (in hopes he'd sleep). Now that he has completely stopped napping, I've cut his quiet play down to 45-60 min. He usually pops downstairs once or twice during his quiet play, but I just take him back up. And, surprisingly, even this quiet time is really important to his well being ... he gets a bit grumpy before quiet time, and is usually refreshed after it.

Good luck!

We had the same issue with my 3 year old. And I got pregnant with our daughter when he was about 20 months. So as you have experienced, I was even more tired than normal with a toddler not sleeping past 5:30am (on a good day) and pregnant! We tried everything we could think of/heard about (adjusting bed times, bed time routines, telling him to stay and play in his room, having him go get his milk and go back and lay done, etc.)

Finally I heard about a toddler alarm clock that uses a stoplight format (www.onestepahead.com). You can set the clock to change to the green light at XX time. I think we started with a 6am wake-up time and eventually moved it up to 6:30am in 5-10 increments.

Like anything else with kids, it took consistency and discipline on our part. After a few months, we finally had him consistently sleeping until 6:30am. At one point, we did have to reward him for staying in his room until "the light turned to green". The reward was a sticker and chocolate milk with his breakfast. If he earned 5 stickers (I think), he was rewarded that weekend with a treat (ice cream, popsicle, fruit snacks, potato chips ... some time of junk that he didn't normally have). Now he's at the point where he "knows" not to come into mommy/daddy's room until his light turns green. And will often come into our room bragging "I stayed in my room till the light turns green mommy!"

Good luck to you!

I have a friend whose kids always woke up closer to 5am no matter what she did. She ended up getting a basket of toys/books ect. and put it near their beds, then she bought them each a digital clock. She told them that they were not aloud to get up until the clock said a certain time, but they could play quietly with the things in their basket. It helped her get a little more sleep, encouraged their independence, eventually they did start sleeping later, when they realized they went getting up anyway. Good luck

I hate divided floor plans like this. When the kids need us they need to be able to come to us. It's too bad you can't use a bedroom upstairs. I say let him play until he calls for you then you just have to go get up and bring him down.

I don't think there is anything wrong with letting him play in his room for a bit. At one time during naps, I covered the minutes side of the clock and told my daughter she would have to stay in her room and rest until the clock turned 3. I think I put her in her room between 1:30 and 2, so that was about an hour or so. She learned that she had to wait until it turned to the 2 before she could call for me. If you wanted to try that, maybe you could have him try to wait until 7, or if you think that is too long, cover the hour part and tell him it has to say 30 (6:30) or 45 (6:45), whatever works. When you cover the hours part, write 45 on it so that he knows they have to match. Another idea would be to set an alarm clock in his room with music to start at whatever time you want him to wait until. Tell him when the music starts, that is when mommy will come up there. Until then, he needs to play quietly with his books and things in his room. After he goes to bed at night, maybe put out a different toy each night so when he wakes up he has a surprise to play with each morning. You will be the best mommy when you are rested, so do what you can, within reason, to get that rest.

Can you get up, change his diaper (if he still wearing one) and give him breakfast and set him up to play in the living room? My son is 7 and my daughter is 3 and the leave me alone on the weekend mornings (I get up at 5 AM every day during the week). But, on the weekends, they get their own breakfast and can watch tv until I get up. Breakfast consists of breakfast bars and juice boxes on the weekends - since that is something that they can get for themselves. Also, they are allowed no tv during the week at all, so the tv on Saturday mornings is a very nice treat for them.

With the stairs, I recommend that you bring him down, but then, you ought to be able to go back to bed for a little while.

Good luck!
L.

I didn't read all the responses, so this may be a repeat. I read a post on here a long time ago about some sort of "red light/green light" alarm clock type device that signals to the kid when sleep/rest time is over and it is okay to come out of the room (in your case, when it's okay to call for you). I've never seen one of these, but it could work. My son LOVES when we set the timer for an activity--even if it's for "10 minutes until bed time". You should look into it!! Good luck!!

Everyone has a set sleep rhythm at birth, the optimal amount of sleep you need, and when you are best at getting it. Trying to change these in kids or adults merely makes for a loss of productivity somewhere.

Yes! I have my 3 yr old's room baby proofed and she gets up well before I do. She colors, or talks to her animals until I come to get her at a set time every day. She is always fine, unless something happens (like she got her foot caught in her bed rails) and then she calls for me and I wake up.

Self soothing, playing and problem solving is INVALUABLE to your children, I take any chance I can get to give it to them.

I am not a morning person at all, so I'll be the first to admit that our early mornings are pretty lazy around here. My 3 yr old goes to a MDO 2 days a wk, but if he does not have school, he gets to watch cartoons. I just had another baby myself and I have to guiltily admit that there have been mornings when he has watched cartoons for 2 hours before I've gotten up and made him get dressed and turn the TV off. Let your son play!! He's happy and learning to play by himself is a good thing to learn. Explain that you need your rest because of the baby and you promise he'll get your undivided attention once you wake up. Could you possibly set an alarm clock in his room to go off at say, 7am? Maybe you could explain that he can play in his room but you will not come to get him until the alarm goes off. It might take a few days, but I think he'd get the hint and learn to occupy himself. This will be a good routine for when baby comes and you need the extra rest! Basically though, don't feel guilty. I've let my kids do much worse while I've slept in! I'm a much happier and more patient mommy when I sleep longer too, so in the end it benefits them.

As soon as my sons get up I give them milk, they stay in their beds and drink it. Half of the time they just fall back asleep, other times it will give me 20 more minutes to kind of wake up. When they are done with their milk, if they call for me, I go and get them.

Don't feel bad about leaving him in his room to entertain himself. I do that with both my kids: 1yr old and 3yr old boys. I have insomnia and don't always sleep good when everyone else is sleeping, so when I can on weekends, I sleep in late, sometimes until around 8 or 9am. If your son wears a diaper at night, just make sure he hasn't leaked through or needs changed. I put my 3yr old in huggies #6 over-night diapers, which are really good for boys like him who pee a lot during the night. I also use the gerber vinyl and cotton training pants over top of the diaper to catch anything the diaper doesn't. If your son's diaper is not overflowing and he is ok playing for a while by himself, get the extra sleep if you can. Believe me, you will thank yourself for it when your new baby arrives!