Mom Had a Miscariage. How Do I Help Her.

Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do as it is going to take time. Be supportive and understanding. Expect her to be sad, she must grieve this loss to move on. Everyone could help a bit more around the house and with anything she needs done.

she has to grieve her own way. be there listen and make sure she doesnt go into a depression. we all deal with things like this in our own way and own time. there is nothing that is going to make her feel better she lost a baby. reassure her it wasn't her fault if she says it other wise dont bring this up. do not tell her it wasnt meant to be and dont tell her she is better off or there might have been something wrong with the baby which is probably true but we dont want to hear that its not reassuring. keep her busy. she already knows the outcome she has lost one befrore we know before the doctors say it. if she wants to be alone leave her be. if she wants company be there. follow her lead. hug her and that is about all you can do. I am sorry for your loss. watch listen and act accordingly.

I would let your mom know you are here for her if she needs to talk or needs a hug. I know you were trying to help but don't tell her not to be sad. It is a very sad thing. Let her cry when she needs to cry. Help out a lot with your siblings. There wasn't anything anyone could do for me when I had my miscarriage. I just had to deal with the emotions and grieve. I found out the same way your mom did, I went for my first ultrasound. Hugs to you and your mom.

I wrote an article about miscarriage: http://www.scribd.com/doc/12082292/Miscarriage-Saying-Hel... You can read it and copy it for free. You are a wonderful young lady with a big heart. Your parents are real lucky to have you.

Oh, I'm so sorry for your family. Miscarriages can be devastating to a woman. I'm rather experienced at them. :( I appreciated the show of support from family and friends and was glad when people brought over meals because I certainly didn't feel like cooking and didn't really care if I ate or not. But since someone else went to all that trouble... The memorial is a nice idea. Perhaps plant or make something in memory of her lost babies. Ask her how she's doing even months down the road (just not too often). Love on her, take her shopping, bring her chocolates, whatever comforts her.

Being around pregnant women and babies is especially tough. It later helped me to hold friends' babies even if I cried while doing so. Even three years since my last miscarriage, it's hard for me to see pregnant women. I'm happy for them, but it's a reminder of my own losses.

I prayed a lot and read scriptures, had friends send me scripture that helped them through tough times. That was probably my biggest Help.

Be supportive and approach her often with an offer to talk, listen or just sit quietly with her so she knows she isn't alone. There isn't much else you can do. Be helpful around the house and encourage your sisters to do the same. Talk with your sisters about being helpful, doing things without reminders and the need to keep things less stressful for a while.

Your mother is going to have to go through the stages of grief. Be there for her and encourage her to experience and work through the emotions she is experiencing... these are very true for most people and in order to move into Acceptance, she will need to understand that it's okay to deny, be angry, make promises or bargains in the hope that the ultrasound was inaccurate, be very very sad before she can be "okay" with it.
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
For what it's worth, the doctors and nurses consistently had a very difficult time locating my son's heartbeat during my pregnancy due to the location of my placenta.

D.,

All you can do is be there for your mom. Let her cry if she needs to cry. I send your entire family my prayers. Everything will be okay. You are a great child, your mom should be very proud. God bless.

Something that really meant a lot to me and helped me heal, even a few years after my miscarriage, was a small memorial service for the baby. If you and your family go to church, ask the pastor to lead a memorial service. It really does help with closure. And if you and your family do not go to church, maybe your dad can lead a memorial service. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it really helps to acknowledge that the baby was a real baby, and the loss that you and your mother are feeling is a real loss.

first of all i would like to say....i am so very, very sorry!!! this is such a difficult time for your mom...i lost our 1st baby 28 years ago...they told me i was not pregnant and i was sure i was. so when i started bleeding i thought for sure it was my period, i was approximately 4 months. then i started experiencing cramping...severe...i thought it was normal til it got so bad and then i lost the baby...it was the most terrible thing that has every happened to me...it not only affects the mother but the father also. be very careful of what you say...when the doctor told me that this is GOD;'s way of getting rid of inpecfect fetus...the words just didn't sink in because i think me and my hubby were in the state of shock. be there for her...hug her alot and tell her you are sorry!!! be there for her...maybe even go out and get her flowers. the most important thing is your support. my heart goes out to your parents!!! i take it she is not having a D & C at this time and they just want her to lose the baby naturally...correct? so her hormones are all messed up also. i cried constantly...they will have to go through the grieving process...be patient and be there for them!!!

GOD bless and i will keep you all in my prayers!!!

sincerely,

grammie K.

I'm sorry for your loss. It's a heartbreaking thing. It sounds like your mother has had a missed miscarriage, where the baby has passed away, but the pregnancy stayed in place. I had one at 11 weeks. They told me the baby had passed two weeks earlier. :(

One thing that really helped me was to find online support. I know that sounds weird, but it helped to be able to let all my feelings out to people who understood, but not have to do it in person, because every time I tried to talk about it out loud I'd choke up crying.

The forum I found support on is called Life After Loss, and is based in the UK. The women there are so supportive, and they have all been through the loss of a child, either during pregnancy, at birth or shortly afterward. If your Mom is interested , the site is lifeafterloss.org.uk It's been pretty quiet (most of the ladies are on facebook and now do a lot of their casual chatting there) but the boards are read frequently, and new posts are answered quickly and with overwhelming empathy and support.

I hope that helps. Again, so sorry for your family's loss. :(

I have heard of an ultrasound at this stage that showed no heartbeat and a subsequent ultrasound showing a heartbeat, so it's good to check again before assuming the worst. But generally, that's not what happens.

I have four living children and at least 5 losses, miscarriages and a stillbirth. The best thing aside from a support group online is for people to acknowledge that these are my babies. I love the little statues of angels holding babies. I recently found a whole collection at Tuesday Mornings.

Give her lots of hugs and tell her how much you love her.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your sibling.

S.