Mom Did Not RSVP to My Daughter's Bday Party, Should I Go to Her Child's?

Be the bigger person. For some reason, it's not all that uncommon for people to simply not respond to an RSVP. Each time we had a birthday party for my son, we would have several people never respond. There seem to be a number of people who just don't respond if they don't intend to go.

Don't take it personally, and don't give it another thought. She should have RSVP'd but she didn't. I'd let it go.

You already RSVP'd to her kid's party, so if you back out now, you'll be messing her up just as she messed you up. I wouldn't do that. Payback never works.

If you were mad at her, you could have said no to her kid's party. The only way to handle these is whether the kids want to attend and if you aren't going to so many that it's breaking the bank and the family schedule. We only did smaller parties with good friends, and my son rarely went to huge and expensive parties where his presence wouldn't be valued and his time with the birthday child would be virtually non-existent.

Since she answered your text, she checks those messages, so text her back and say, "By the way, I didn't see an RSVP from you for my kid's party. Did I miss it? Can you let me know yes or no, please?" You have no idea if she's being rude and inconsiderate, or if there was a glitch in her evite (like it went to her Spam folder) or if she got so many emails on other subjects that she just missed it. Always assume the best in someone unless you're proven wrong. There's always time to get angry later.

Easy.

Try this. Text “Oh by the way did you get the invitation for my little Betty Lou’s party on Saturday? Coming?”
Problem solved.
Don’t make a problem when there’s not one. Life is short.

Wow, you do realize people have other things going on in their lives right? If her child is having a party on Sunday she's probably going to be busy on Saturday shopping and prepping for it, not to mention spending time with her husband and other kids (?) who may or may not have activities or parties of their own.
PLEASE don't be that mom who takes offense when people don't plan their lives around your child. You're right, that IS petty :-(

Gees, have your party and celebrate your child for her party.

What does your child want to do? If she does not want to go to the party, then don't but since you RSVP'd yes, you need to be respectful and let mom know you are no longer coming.

I know RSVP's are important and people ignore then all the time which is frustrating but let it go. There are many issues much bigger than this to worry about.

Not RSVP'ing is my super, duper pet-peeve. SO freaking discourteous!

That being said, and because it is always good to give people the benefit of the doubt, why not just text her back "hey, so glad you got my RSVP for Susie's party! I bet with everything going on, you probably haven't had a chance to respond to Janie's party invite. Is Susie able to come on Saturday or are things just too crazy with her party being on Sunday? You know how it is trying to get a head count :)"

Problem solved

We once had a party, and a mom dropped a child off and said something I didn't follow. Her daughter was having her party the next day. We had been invited, and I never got the invite (my daughter never handed it to me). I felt terrible. Had no clue.
Normally I am a neurotic RSVPing. It happens to the best of us.

She may be frazzled. She did thank you for getting back to her, so to me, she sounds like a polite person who is considerate? (she took the time to thank you for RSVPing).

Does your daughter want to go? You must have thought so since you accepted already.

To me, I'd go. I'd assume she's coming for now.

Don't be petty (which is easy when frustrated and reacting). Focus on daughter's day.

It is a pain when people don't RSVP. I get it. But move on.

I've had it happen when kids go to dad's house and the invite stays there, or when people just wait till last minute ..

If your daughter wants to go (it's about her), let her go. If all the kids are going - she'll want to go too.

Don't let it bug you. Move on. Not worth it.

It may have totally slipped her mind.

Uh, a few years ago my daughter handed out invites to her bday. She invited all the girls in her classroom. One of the girl’s mom called me to ask if her daughter to come (?) bc they car pooled with another girl who was invited was talking non-stop about the party. I think that took some nerve of this mother. Regardless the kid should not be punished for her mother’s behavior, so I said sure. The funny thing is, the girls did get an invitation but lost it!!!!!!!!!!!! So this parent really had no idea, and therefore didn’t know to rsvp.

Just last month my daughter got an invite to a party. She stinkin’ kept it in her backpack to give to this friend after the party as a keepsake (smh). Needless to say when the party parent texted me that I didn’t rsvp, I had no idea what he was talking about. I explained and we both had a good laugh, and my daughter went to party...everyone was happy!
I’m glad that parent followed up with me!

Things happen with kids. It’s up to the adults to communicate maturely about it. Send her a reminder text. If she doesn’t respond, then don’t invite her next year. But don’t punish the kids for the adults’ bad behavior.

She may be overwhelmed with planning her daughter's bday and she forgot. I know it is simple to reply, but I am not sure I would be petty. I get annoyed based on the individual. Some people you know they purposely do not respond (I have heard these ladies in conversation) and other are truly spread thin.

Don't become the person that you are disappointed in.

You responded to her invitation, indicating that your daughter would attend her party. So follow up on your own word, or else just accept that you're no different from the woman who didn't RSVP to your invite.

And don't bring up the fact that the other mom didn't reply to your invite. Demonstrate to your child how to be a polite person. Don't dump your feelings on your daughter. After these parties, your daughter should realize that her mother is polite and kind and that she keeps her word, and she should hope and plan to grow up to be respectful and honorable like her mommy.

2 wrongs don't make a right. Be the better person and follow through on your RSVPs.

I wouldn't care if her kid came to my kid's birthday. So, I would not give it a single thought. If my daughter wanted to go to her daughter's birthday and there was time that day, then I would rsvp yes. If my daughter did not want to go or we were busy I would rsvp no. If her daughter could not make it to my daughter's birthday I would just think oh well, too bad, they must be busy. Honestly, I could care less. --------------------I'm not sure why you feel offended. Personally, I am so over kid birthday parties. I let my kids do something with 1-3 friends now instead of a big party. It's so much more fun.

i get your pique and i'd feel it too.

i HOPE that even when i was younger and more prickly i'd have rolled my eyes, heaved a few sighs, muttered under my breath, then untwisted my panties and sent my kid to her party.

kids don't need to be involved in petty oneupmanship amongst their mothers.

i find it weird that you phrase it as YOU going to the party. is it about you or the kids?

khairete
S.

Really, you are planning ways to get back at this mother? Plan your own party, read a book, watch tv, anything but keep thinking about this situation.

If your daughter wants to go to the party, take her and let her have fun. Life is too short and there are so many other things to do instead of stressing about others shortcomings.

the birthday party is for the little girl. You already RSVP'd. It would look VERY petty if you didn't show up.
You go. You be the bigger woman. You don't say anything to your daughter.

It's annoying but let it go.
Maybe think about not inviting her next year.

No one RSVPs anymore in the whole world but the people on here...me included. Over 27 combined kid years of parties about 50 to 60 percent will show up out of a group. I started scaling down and talking with parents one on one.

Anyway...go and let your daughter have fun. Don't mention your party unless she asks about it. Smile meet other moms and have fun yourself.

Please! Hardly anyone responds to RSVPs. If you want to know if they are coming or not, you’ll need to call. She may not have received the invitation! You replied yes for your daughter and they are expecting you. Don’t be rude! Show up!
Don’t be surprised if they show up for your daughter’s party even though they didn’t RSVP.

The thing that is unclear from your post is: exactly what are you frustrated about? The lack of RSVP or the idea that she might not put in the same amount of effort as you in attending two parties in one weekend (feeling like why should you and your daughter do both parties if she and her daughter are not).

If you are frustrated about lack of RSVP, ask her again.

If you are frustrated about imbalance of effort - don't break your back but if your daughter wants to do both and it does not mess up your family life scheduling then why not. The other mom might truly have some pressing situations that weekend, don't assume she is just using the time for errands and party prep.

Truly hope your daughter enjoyed her party and the friend's party.

Note to yourself: If your daughter isn't close to the person? They shouldn't be invited to her party.

To me they are unrelated events. While I am also a big fan of properly RSVPing, I just don't see any rationale for you deciding your daughter can't go to this party because she didn't rsvp for your daughters? Not logical to me by any means. If your daughter wants to go to the other girls party and you already said you would she should go. End of story.

She might have missed the invitation from school. Also your’s is on a Saturday, hers on a Sunday. She will probably be preparing for the party on the Saturday and won’t be able to come.

I would just come right out and ask her.

I love how people say how busy this other mom likely is bc it’s her daughter’s bday party. Uh. You’re having a party too! And as you said, invitation was sent twice. I assume evite which goes automatically. So I’d do whatever you feel like and your daughter wants. One girl accepted one of my kid’s invitations and then never showed! But my daughter likes the girl a lot and it’s her mother who’s an idiot so when this girl’s bday comes, I’ll let my daughter go etc. If your daughter doesn’t care, feel free to change your rsvp - still time - and include a note you never heard from her so assume her daughter isn’t coming to yours. If your daughter does want to go, I’d probably text the mom and ask if she got the invitations bc you never heard back. And as she knows, it’s hard to plan if you don’t have a headcount. Call her out on it a little.

Hoping your daughter had a fun party yesterday, and that you've decided to attend the other party too!

I wish we lived in a world where people always RSVPd. It would make planning much easier and I agree with you that it is courteous to do so. However, that is not the world we live in, and many people seem to find RSVPs optional. Don't take it personally, life is too short to sweat stuff we have no control over.

I hope your daughter had a great birthday party yesterday! I totally understand the frustration of trying to plan food and goodies bags for an unknown amount of kids.. and when the invites are passed out in school, you probably don’t have their contact info to ask if they’re attending. However, since you already replied to the little girl’s party today, I would definitely go. In the end, it’s for the sake of the children.