Mixed Feelings About Breastfeeding

While you won't be a bad mom by any means if you quit, you might try to keep it up. I only b/f my first one for 3 months and my second for 12 months. I am sooooo glad that I kept it up with #2. She is NEVER sick, and it is so much easier to feed a boob than mix a bottle. You are her mother and you'll do what works for you. Good for you for doing it for so long already! You're a good mom just for worrying about her. :)

I think that breastfeeding is similiar to all the many decisions you make as a mom - whether it is the family bed, homeschool - both people (mom and baby) need to be happy MOST of the time. A mom and baby are so interconnected that the baby will pick up when a mom is resenting breastfeeding time after time. Same thing for a mom who really wants to be in the work world - her kids will know that she would rather be some place else (and no she won't ever have to tell them that, but kids are very intuitive and know when their mom isn't happy); in relationships there is a give and take and ups and downs, but if one party is not happy a majority of the time, there needs to be consideration given to that and possibly a new routine for happiness. There is not one right way to do things.

I breastfed AND formula fed my DD for three months. Then it was just formula. My now three and a half year old has only had two colds in her short life. No ear infections, etc.
I say that if you want to breastfeed, breastfeed. If you choose a combo or just formula...that is YOUR decision....not anyone else's.
We all have our reason's....I am absolutely AMAZED at how women will treat other women over this topic. (this and natural child birth)

Its like the old saying goes, "walk a day in my shoes....."

Oh boy....what a debate!
C., girl, listen to this. You do not HAVE to breastfeed. By all means, continue if you like, but if you decide to stop you won't be driving the bus to hell. I promise. All of the "Don't stop now, it gets easier!" "Breast is Best!" and "At least you did it a little" response to questions like yours make me really angry. You don't need ANYONE'S permission to do what's best for your family. Only your own.
I have O. child. I never had the want, need or desire to breastfeed. My son had formula for the first year of his life (GASP!) and he is a healthy (2 ear infections in 7 yrs), intelligent (way above the curve on every test) and wonderful 7 yo. We have a great bond. he is happy.
My advice to you is to let go of the guilt. Many, many young moms are railroaded into bf-ing by overbearing advocates. Do what is best for you. A happy mom=a happy baby.
As for the job issue. Only you can decide that. many women work and BF. You can make it work if you want to.
Best of luck!

I've struggled too with breastfeeding. My son is 3 1/2 months. I marvel at women who say breastfeeding is "amazing and wonderful" and gush about how much they love it. Sometimes I feel like I just endure it. I too am doing it for my son's health. I travel for a living and am gone 36-48 hours, as often as one a week. Pumping is a PAIN, but the few times I've closed my eyes and tried to picture weaning my son, and never having him at my breast again, I cry. This tells me it's not time to wean. At least not for me.

You'll get LOTS OF OPINIONS about how you MUST breastfeed etc etc. Here's the deal: you've given your daughter a wonderful start. The fact that she's gotten any breastmilk has helped her so much. The longer you can keep it up, go for it! But if it's time to wean, it's time to wean. So really, I don't have an answer for you. Just listen to your heart, and do what you feel is right. Your daughter loves you no matter what--don't let anyone, or any bad thought in your head, tell you differently!

My mom never nursed past 4-6 months. And we all (myself and 3 siblings) turned out fine. :) We are well-adjusted, normal loving adults who adore our parents. And yes, I was left with a sitter. :)

Actually, I think it sounds like you could benefit from some perspective. Take a step back, take a deep breath and really think.... Here are some things you may not be considering

1. Babies nurse more when they are growth spurting (which your daughter is probably going through at 2 1/2mo) and it can be very time consuming for mom, but is temporary

2. Babies grow and develop quickly (especially BF'd babies) and VERY soon, your daugher will be bigger and will be taking more in one feeding and so will nurse less often.

3. Formula feeding is much more work than breastfeeding. It's a fact. You have to prepare/wash/sterilize bottles. You have to mess around with finding the right bottle/nipple combination in the first place. You have to get up and do all of the prep in the middle of the night instead of just laying in bed and nursing. You have to carry around a bunch of extra stuff and have to have access to clean water in case baby needs to eat, etc...

4. If you have any ambivalnce about anything that you want to do in life or are thinking about doing, it's always best to change nothing and let matters lie for a month or two before revisiting the issue. It sounds like you have a lot of negative feelings about quitting breastfeeding and about going back to work. I think it sounds like your heart is trying to tell you what you need to do and your head is trying to get in the way. I think it sounds like your heart is encouraging you to stay home with your baby and enjoy her babyhood (they only have one after all) and continue breastfeeding.

I've nursed both of my boys for a total in excess of 5 years and I can tell you that the time period you're going through right now is only a bottle neck and once you get through it, things will seem much better. It takes at least 3 months to get a solid, comfortable bfing realtionship set up and on track with a good schedule (and that's at least, sometimes it take longer). If you choose to continue, I guarantee that one day very soon you're going to stop, look around and realize that you totally have the breastfeeding thing down, that's it's second nature and that you finally have time to do other things again. When you get to that point in the next 2 months or so nursing your baby isn't even going to break your stride.

Anyways, that's the best support/advice I can offer for what it's worth.

Best of luck with making all of these tough decisions.

Some facts: breastfeeding is best for the nutrients and the easy way your milk can be digested by your baby. Also, the skin to skin contact combined with the smell you produce have been proven to increase the number of stress reducing enzymes in your little ones body so she's less tense and more at ease for the rest of her life.
Formula feeding is VERY overwhelming, especially if you think about how you have to pack the formula/bottle/water with you wherever you go, take the time to make it throughout the day AND night and then there's all the cleaning involved... Breastfeeding is much simpler if you think about those issues.
I"m not here to preach breastfeeding, but I think you really need to take a couple breaths, and maybe get away from your little one for a few hours to relieve some stress, and then you'll feel a lot better.
If you get a job, then that is your choice... but until then, why not keep it simple and pure, and stick with breastfeeding?

I did not breastfeed either of my children. They are both extremely happy, healthy, and smart. Our bond is just as strong as those who do breastfeed, maybe even stronger than some since I chose what was best for me. A happy mother equals a happy family. Do what makes you feel natural and relaxed. Don't let anyone force to do anything, or make you feel guilty. How you nourish your children is your own business.
Lynsey

No you would not be a bad mom. You need to do what's best for yourself. With that said it really does get easier over time. I went back to work when my daughter was 3 mths old & continues BF with the intention to supplement with formula. My daughter had some health issues at the time & had a horrible reaction to the formula therefore we only BF. I did have to stay home 2 mths later b/c I couldn't keep up. Many women do BF & work full time successfully. Like I said, BFing really does get easier. Soon feeding won't take near as long, your daughter will be eating foods. Pump periodically & freeze so your husband can feed a bottle at the moment you are fealing overwhelmed. If I hadn't been forced to continue BFing I don't think I still would be but I am so thankful now. The begining is the hardest but it's so worth it in the end. Most of all your daughter needs a happy mom so do what's best for y'all.

I agree with what so many moms have said. Breastfeeding is so wonderful, but it is not the be all and end all of motherhood. Whatever you choose will be done with the intention of providing a happy life for your child. Good luck with your decision.

I just want to encourage you to stick to it. Nothing is more bonding for mother and child then breastfeeding! That's what we were designed to do, as well as be the primary care giver for our child. Letting someone else do that is robbing you both of a great experience and relationship. Yes it does affect them to leave them with a sitter (no matter how professional, kind and reliable they are - they are not YOU and your kid wants YOU) and don't believe anyone who says otherwise. Kids don't remember the things you buy them, but the time you spend with them. Babies need that bond to be good and strong, even though they don't remember the memories of what you two did together in the first few years, this bond is formed then and will affect all their relationships for the rest of their life!

The first three months (and sometimes up to first six) can be completely draining on a new mom, no matter how many kids she's had before. Infants NEED lots of love and care and reassurance that you're there no matter what. But after several months have gone by its healthy to start training them to be more independent. Things like sleeping through the night and learning to self soothe are imperative! Babies start off having the ENTIRE world revolve around them, but they need to learn slowly that they are part of the family and how to fit into that. So my point is, don't feel like you have to drop everything and hold baby constantly, or be feeding constantly. A little crying is okay for a baby. Don't feel like you don't have time to shower, talk on the phone or cook or clean up because baby needs your every second.

Lastly, think of all the stress having a job is going to add to your life!!! You've got the equivalent of at least 2 full time jobs just being a Mommy!

Have courage, it won't be long and you'll be feeling really independent again!

Best wishes!

I agree with the following:

1. Nursing will get easier as the baby takes less time to get the milk it needs (it went from 45 minute breastfeeding sessions to 5-10 minutes within a few months) and the baby doesn't need to eat as frequently (some stretch it out as far as four hours). This frees you up to get out of the house more.

2. You can do both breastfeeding and formula feeding to get a break. It doesn't have to be either/or. We started feeding both my daughters a nightly formula bottle beginning their second week.

3. Pumping is a pain in the butt. I went back to work at 3 months for each of them and pumped for another 3-4 months at work. I really don't like it, but felt committed to doing it for the sake of their health. But I also had a convenient place at work to do it and the kind of job that allowed me flexibility in my time to do it when I needed to.

4. If you're thinking about working, maybe start with a part-time job and see how you like that. Or, like someone else said, maybe it's more about getting out of the house and interacting with adults. Playgroups, church programs, mothers of preschoolers, and libraries all offer great low-cost or free ways for both you and baby to get some socialization.

Like everyone said, it's important that you be happy as well as your baby. I feel that parenting is learning to be selfless but also learning how to draw boundaries. There needs to be compromise (not your whole life wrapped around the baby, but not the baby's whole life wrapped around yours either). Good luck in finding your mama groove - you will, but it takes time!

No, you are not a bad mom. Try to breastfeed as long as you can, but look at the factors and then decide. Lots of us work and had to use formula at some point. It is your choice. Happy momma, happy baby.

You can work and breastfeed. I worked full time while breastfeeding. It's not the easiest but it can happen. The questions you are asking you have to answer, at least some of them, yourself. You are not going to make her love you less or anything like that if you go to work. My son and I have a great relationship. I am a teacher so I have to work full time September - June and he goes to daycare. He loves it, has so much fun, but really loves his mommy and daddy and coming home. You have to decide what works best for you family.

You should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Yes, breastmilk is best, but nursing is a relationship between you and your daughter and you don't have to keep trying if it is too difficult for you. That being said, I work full time and I was able to nurse for 18 months. I didn't particularly like pumping at work (honestly, I sometimes hated it) but it was worth it to me to be able to keep nursing my son. I didn't pump for the full 18 months, in fact I know I stopped before he was even one. At that point he was on enough solids and drinking water, that he could make it through the day without breastmilk. He certainly made up for it when I got home! And I don't think having your child in a daycare will harm your relationship. You might not be as close with her as you would be if you were home with her all day, but it's not something that is going to harm her. You are not a bad mom for doing what feels right. If you really want to stay home and you can afford it, do it. If you feel you need to get out of the house and make money, and you feel comfortable with leaving her in someone else's care, go for it. But you may want to ease into either change (quitting bfing and starting work.) One more thing, I love to see how happy my children are when I pick them up at the end of the day :) Feel free to message me if you need any support!

I would encourage you to do what feels like the best choice for you and your family. Maybe try supplementing for a bit and see if you want to do a little of both. I don't care what anyone else says--"I" wasn't made to breastfeed and it was the farthest thing from natural for me. I did not breastfeed my daughter because that was the choice I made. My daughter is fine, we have a strong bond and so does her and her father because he participated in the feeding from the go. To suggest that breastfed babies have a better bond than formula fed is a bunch of baloney. Yes there are health benefits to breastmilk, but there are also benefits to having a happy, sane, and non-sleep deprived mom. Feeding you child is just one single act and does not determine what kind of mother you are. You have a lifetime of choices to make with this child and start now making the choices that work best for you. I wish you the best for your family and decision.

Hi C.,
Congratulations on your new baby. It sounds to me like you're overwhelmed with motherhood. It happens to the best of us. You're lumping a bunch of questions into one big mountain. Instead of doing that, it might be helpful to look at each thing separately. As for breastfeeding an occasional bottle doesn't spell disaster with the breastfeeding. And she's old enough that you don't have to pump at the time she's taking the bottle. That's in the first several weeks. If you're both enjoying it mainly, have you thought of attending a La Leche League meeting? You've find other moms who've gone through very similar feelings. They can suggest ideas that might really be helpful.
As for getting a job, same thing. Take it in small bites. You wrote that you wanted to watch her grow and that you're concerned about having a stranger watch her. Meet any potential sitters more than once. Maybe become friends and meet at parks etc. before letting them babysit your daughter. Everyone would feel more comfortable that way. If you're finding these feelings are getting the best of you, discuss them with your doctor. Generally it's a matter of gaining perspective. Sometimes it's a sign of postpartum depression. Moms shouldn't just suffer in silence. There's help out there. I hope things balance for you soon. S.

You will NOT be a bad mom if you choose to quit breastfeeding or go back to work or both. Many people will tell you that you are, but that's more a reflection of their own insecurities, rather than what's right. I've been a high school teacher for 17 years (starting my 18th year in 2 weeks) and I've seen horrible, rotten kids come from both SAHM and working moms, just as I've seen great kids come from both environments. You need to do what feels right for you and your family.

For me, I never aspired to be a SAHM. I took extended maternity leaves (6 and 9 months respectively) and I was thrilled to go back to work each time. I found a wonderful in-home day care environment, three blocks from my school, and I left both my sons there without a backwards glance. And when I did miss them, I ran up the street during my prep for a quick hug, smooch and cuddle. It was great. I never felt like I was missing out because the first time you see a milestone, it's just as exciting as if it were the actual first time. (Did that make sense? LOL)

As for breastfeeding, I had every intention of nursing until my sons were six months old, but biology conspired against me. I have flat, inverted nipples and it was sooooooooo hard to get my sons to latch on. With both, I worked with lactation consultants, me pediatrician, I even called La Leche League for guidance. Ultimately, I followed my pedi's advice: feeding time should be a bonding experience, not one filled with frustration, anguish and pain. I switched to bottles, pumped, and by 3 months, my sons were on formula. At 12 and 16, I can tell you they were not negatively affected by this choice (or that of being a working mom).

Bottom line, happy moms make happy babies and families. Follow your heart and you cannot go wrong. Many people, on this site and other places, will try to change your opinion or make you feel bad or, in some cases, support you. I look at it this way (as the history teacher I am): my Grandma, a Rosie the Riveter during WWII, did NOT have the choice about whether or not to be a SAHM or a working mom. The society she lived in dictated that to her. But, she worked hard so my mom and her granddaughters could have that choice. My mom was a working mom out of necessity. I was a working mom out of choice. My sons' wives may choose to be SAHMs. Whatever any woman chooses is HER choice; NOT something open for debate or ridicule. If we truly believe that women are free to make their own choices, then this must be one of them. No one philosophy has a corner on the "best child rearing" market.

Good luck.

If she enjoys it and you enjoy it, then don't stop! Breast is best! It may seem time consuming right now, but as the saying goes, "This too shall pass." All too quickly, I might add. Soon she will not need as much. It will get easier! I remember at 2 1/2 to 3 months my son went through a growth spurt and I felt like he was always nursing!! My son is 3yo now, and I have to practically beg for hugs and kisses! Oh how I long for the days when I could get my cuddles in while nursing him!! Cherish this time you have. Blessings to you!

I don't have to read the responses to know what kind of response you've gotten...

I got a lot of flack from the non-breastfeeders for breastfeeding in the first place and got a lot of flack from the BFers for stopping at only 2mos.

You'll never get a straight answer out of anyone... You'll get more and more confused by every answer you get.

So my advice is to do what YOU are comfortable doing. My son going to a sitter's house when I started back to work did NOT change our bond. He is still very much "mama's little man". No one can ever replace you or the bond you have with your daughter. I promise.

If you're only planning on working part time... You're doing better than me. And you won't have to worry about missing much. Really.

Hope you find the answer you're looking for.

ok from a mom who struggle and does what i can for my daughter to eat breastmilk. Think about this. the smell of breastmilk being spit up or on you is not as bad as formula. Also the price of formula is so expensive and if you can feed by breast why give it up to a 30 dollar can of formula? Another thing is in the next couple weeks her eating will change and you will be giving her cereal in the morning and at night with breast milk. the length of feeding will change and as she grows she won't need to feed as often on you. I wish I could breastfeed exclusively. But I can't do to a car accident, I suffered a closed head injury n and my pitutary gland got messed up. So my body doesn't make enoughof the hormone or chemical need to produce the milk in enough quanity. So I pump periodically during the day to give her one 6 oz bottle. Now if you pump it takes 20 mins. per session if you feed it takes 40 mins. Another thing to consider not all babies eat fast I have 5 children and each ate differetnly. This one I am pumping for number 5 she is my slowest. She eats anywhere from it will take her 10 mins to an 1hr to 1hr in 1/2 to finish a bottle. Breast milk is usually gone in 20 min to half hr. but formula it takes longer i don't know why. So you can think about that too. You have to stop and feed no matter if its breastmilk or formula. Plus with breast feeeding you don't need bottles and nipples n sticky powders a bottle a water to mix it and all the aggravation all you need is you and the baby. With formula you have powder with than needing water to mix bottles nipple than you have to shake it an it you get sticky and messy. Also the nutritional values compaired to formula are slim but still the breastmilks better for the baby n easier. If i could do it i definatly would. Its your choice to do it or to not. I am sure you are a wonderful mom and you are doing a great job at whatever you decide. Good luck!

Everything that I have read has always says that breast milk is the best for a baby. However, not everyone is able to breastfead. It's also suppose to be the most natural and easy thing to do. But, that was not my experence. It was my intention to breastfeed with both of my kids. But I was not able to do it for very long for various reasons. My first son spent the first 3 days of his life in intensive care being monitored. I had a c-section so we got off to a bad start. I had the hardest time feeding him and getting him to feed. I was always afraid that he was not getting enough milk so I found myself feeding him every half hour. I was also afraid that I did not have enough milk for him. With a bottle I could actually see that he was getting fed. Also, I was exhausted and I needed sleep. It was a help to have someone else feed the baby. I had family members around all the time who would not leave me alone with my baby so after about 3 weeks or so he eneded up being bottle feed.
with my youngest he drank all the time (he is now 4 years old and still loves milk) he could be on the breast for up to 45 minutes or more. so, again I was not sure if he was getting enough. So, for me it just did not work out.
so, I do feel guilty but i was not sucessful at it. My boys are not 6 and 4 years old and everytime they get sick I wonder if it's because I did not breast feed long enough.
Everytime there is a topic on Television or somewhere about breastfeeding my husband always makes a point of telling me how I did not breastfeed my kids.
So, no you are not a bad parent if you don't breastfeed. sometimes I see women on the job pumping milk in the restrooms to take home to their babies. that could be an option. I pumped milk for awhile because for me it was easier.
Good luck

My advice, stick it out. There is a turning point soon and your baby will be nursing less and start solids at six months. I had some mixed feelings at 6-8 weeks and I had a preemie. Get some help, join a support group, la leche is great. I am nursing an older baby now and just love the communication we have. I understand her language and I do believe that it is a special bond that is like no other. You will be glad you did. I am so glad that I have never had to mix formula for my child. Good luck.

Dear C.:

I love breastfeeding my son. Then, one day, I started a new job when he was 2 months old... it was devastating for me. Nevertheless, I managed to pump milk and nourish him till he was 8 months. I used to go to the bathroom on breaks and have his voice recorded on my cell phone so milk could flow easily. When I get home there was nothing more rewarding than breastfeeding the hungry one (my job was pretty demanding but I made sure to call home when I was going out so my mom won´´t feed him till I arrived).
Breastfeeding was our special time... while working I thought about him and when I get home I have an excuse to be just with him (I have an eldest daughter and a husband too) for at least half an hour. All my family cooperated for us to be together and for him to receive the best of me.
For me breastfeeding was easier than bottle feeding... While breastfeeding I was able to travel with my little one to the jungle and nothing happened. If I were bottlefeeding him I would not be sure if water was secure for him. When he needs to eat you just take out your boob and do not have to warm the milk or clean and sterilize the bottles.
Hopefully you can still breastfed and enjoy the time with your little one.

You are doing the very best thing for you and your baby by breastfeeding. If you are considering going back to work, pumping and working CAN work but you really need to be committed. I would suggest contacting Le Leche League or a lactation coach for help and advice about that. A couple of things to keep in mind....at 2 1/2 months after giving birth, things are pobably not quite back to "normal". Are you thinking about going to work for financial reasons or just to get out a bit? A babysitter and buying formula could eat up lots of your paycheck making it not worth being away from your baby.

Ok here is my experience. I went into BF giving it all I had with no hard core expectations. I figured I would go up to a year. For my first right before I had to go back to work she went on strike. I gave her a bottle of formula and she downed it. I did both for 3 more months and she was sleeping through the night and just didn't seem to "need" me any more in that way (yes I know the nutrients are better in BF).
For my second I went into it the same way. She was basically the opposite. She wanted nothing to do with the bottle! 1 week beofre I HAD to go back to work she finally took a pumped bottle. I pumped until 6 months and needed to supplement. I would forget at work to pump. 4pm would roll around and I had not pumped! so my supply started dropping. I was completly done with BF at 9 months.
Yes BF was so much easier. It is tough to prepare bottles and formula and water. When I pumped I never had a "stock" but basically what I pumped one day would go to the sitter the next day so it wasn't a big deal. It was just remembering to actually "pump."
As far as working is there anyway you can get on some sort of modified schedule? I work M and TH 3p-9p and Tu and W 930a-6p plus 1 friday per month. Either me or my husband are with our kids at all times except for 12 hours per week. and we are both off weekends. I feel I have total balance. I could never work FT with my kids at home nor could I stay home FT with them either. I would be depressed or insane. (and I do respect those who could do either). For me I needed balance and I wanted BOTH. that is what I have. People always comment about my weird hours but it is exactly what I asked for returning from maternity leave. I get so much time with my kids but I get to have a career too. Good luck to you!

Dear C.,
Now I am totally for breastfeeding, but the best advice I ever got was: geeve heem forrmoola. Hee weel not diee. (she had an accent and even now I can't repeat it without one ;). Once or twice on the weekend, my husband would take over a feeding with a bottle of formula. You do not have to do all or nothing. Try a little formula with your little one and see how it goes. I didn't have enough to pump and nurse my son, not to mention I didn't have the time to do it. Plenty of babies love their mamas like nobody's business who gave them formula and left them with childcare. But hang in there. Breastfeeding IS hard but it gets easier! You are NOT a bad Mama for keeping your sanity!

You are not a bad mom if you stop breasfeeding your daughter.

If you are stressed about this, one your milk supply is affected in two ways: your production will be reduced and if you are stressed it can affect the quality of your milk as well.

It will not affect your relationship with your daughter. I never breastfed my daughter (who is now 13) and we can talk about anything.

Also her immune system will not be affected either. Watching her diet, limiting sugar and fatty foods, as she grows will give her a strong immune system.

I know a lady who breastfed her sons and without going into detail both have had life threatening illnesses. Remember too what the mom eats affects the baby.

So do what makes you happy and your baby. That's what life is all about!

Many blessings.

No, you are not a bad mother, and don't look for validation from complete strangers like us.

I've always been a working mom and was fortunate to have 2 kids take to nursing very well and to thrive. I went back to work at 8 weeks with baby #1 and continued nursing/pumping for a year. It was hard, but I made it work. It's possible, but pumps, supplies, etc. can be expensive and time consuming to clean. I did it because my only reasons not to were personally selfish. I gave my son a year's worth of breast milk before he weaned himself.

With baby #2, I nursed to 3 months. I went back to work at 9 weeks and pumped for the next week until I was diagnosed with cancer and had to start chemo. I couldn't nurse and treat my cancer at the same time. East decision.

The comments about nursing being easier than formula. Yes, it is. But, working moms still have to prepare bottles, clean them, clean pump supplies daily. It's a lot of hard work, too. Formula feeding is more expensive, and your baby may not take to formulas well.

At the end of the day, you are her mom and you'll make the best decisions. It will not affect your relationship to put her with a baby sitter, get a new job, or stop breastfeeding. Your child will still have your love, nurturing.

Good luck with your decision, going back to work, and enjoying having your daughter.

We have always had our babies on a 3-4 hour feeding time. You do not have to feed her every time she cries... It will not make you a bad mommy if you stop nursing but you might want to try a schedule first. We do up and feed at 8am, play, nap at 10am up at 12pm, feed, play, nap at 2 up at 4, feed, play then down for the night at 8pm. Don't feel bad if you stop, there is nothing wrong with that! :) Good luck!

I breastfed all of my children because I believe in the health benefits - however I hated every minute of it. I felt like all I did was breastfeed. I felt like I was nothing more than a glorified cow. I even in some small way had to recognize that I resented that not only was this child taking all my time, and all my sleep, but because I was breastfeeding I couldn't even EAT what I wanted when they happened to be away from me for a small second.

I think breastfeeding is great - and if you can keep it up - wonderful! However, some of us, sanity and practicality need to be considered. No baby needs a mom that is stressed out, depressed, etc. AND those chemicals DO travel to your baby. So this is one case where I firmly believe that you should do what you can do with respects to breastfeeding, but when you can't - then for everyone's sake - admit it and move on gracefully. It's better for everyone in the end. A sane happy momma makes for a healthy happier everyone. It is better for everyone's stress and ability to bond in relationships, and better for baby too since they're not taking in mom's stress hormones and then getting all stressed out and cranky themselves ... which of course only reinforces the cycle.

Do what you can. Stop when you can't and don't feel bad about it - no matter what anyone says - you know you and your family's balance best.

Cheers!

T.

My daughter was small when she was born and we tried to breastfeed for a month with the help of lactation consults, nipple shields etc... Once I switched to pumping and bottle feeding her instead of fighting with her to latch I think our bonding during feeding improved and the great thing is that her Dad can bond with her during feedings as well. It also frees up time to cook dinner, have a girls night out etc...You have done a great job breastfeeding as long as you have. I have many friends that have been able to breastfeed and work by pumping at lunch but it's hard and may not be the right decision for you. You should not feel guilty or let people give you a hard time if you decide to switch to formula. She will be just fine if that's what you decide to do.

As for going back to work...I'm going back to work in 2 weeks and have the same concerns you have. Leaving your child with a sitter or day care is a hard thing to do. To ease the transition, you may want to try job sharing or working part time. Just remember that lots of children go to day care and still end up learning everything they need to and having great relationships with their moms.

You can always compromise. I breastfed for 2.5 months and then started using formula on occasion. My baby is now 6 months old and he mainly drinks formula, though I breastfeed him every morning for about 15 minutes (then we fall back asleep together), once in the afternoon and once in the evening. The breastfeeding is more about cuddling time than it is about nutritian, as my milk supply isn't what it used to be. I love the bonding we share but with two other young children I'm very glad my baby is flexible with both bottle and breast! Good luck and enjoy your baby!!

I did both and loved it... She got time with me and all my good milk and also got formula to help her sleep better at night.
However if you are giving up on breastfeeding to get more time for you and not be at her beck and call, that won't change! She can't hold a bottle yet, so when she is hungry and needs to eat, you still have to be there. Bottles don't solve that issue :)
Anyhow if you are done, you are done.
Both my girls weened themselves at 6 months. I tried to keep it going, but they wanted real food and bottles, so I let it and they are both fine.

I think it's wonderful that you have breastfed this long! I breastfed for 4 1/2 mos- then weened and went back to work. My son and I had some good bonding over formula and bottles. In fact, I felt we had more bonding than when breastfeeding. I am large chested woman, and when he took bottles, I could actually see his face, look into his eyes, and he wasn't shoved face first into my huge boob... lol
Have you considered supplementing with formula. instead of going whole hog? You can breastfeed before her bedtime or in the mornings before work. This way you are getting the best of both worlds. If you decide to ween, DO NOT let anyone make you feel bad about it. A good mom is a happy mom, and you do what's right for you. :)
As far as working goes- a babysitter is no substitute for you. You still are the mom and that won't change. Do what makes you happy. A good mom is a happy mom.
Take care and best of luck!

You aren't a bad mom first off. Breastfeeding is very demanding but in my opinion it's the best for both mother and child. I myself breastfed my son for 25 months!! That's right, over 2 years. I just loved our bonding time and how healthy he always was. It was our time together and it seemed so much easier than making a formula bottle. I went back to work after 9 months and I pumped bottles for him. Once I was done nursing I just told him that mommy's boobies were broken and he can't feed off of me anymore. Since he was old enough, he understood and got over it right away. I wasn't ready to stop until 25 months but everyone is different. You do what meets your needs and helps you feel comfortable. I just found nursing so easy and so beneficial. I lost all my pregnancy weight within 4 months with help from breastfeeding. We all have our breaking point and you need to follow your heart without the guilt. If you do end up leaving her with a care giver, don't fret. A mother and a child's bond is not easily broken. My son is home all day with daddy but you bet your buns he runs to me everyday when I get home and won't let go. Nothing will severe your bond. Keep it going in other ways. Even if it's just a rock and a cuddle, it's bonding time. Good luck and please don't feel like a bad mom. If you were you wouldn't be looking for help here!!!

You would not be a bad mom for stopping breastfeeding. It's great for you and your baby that you've at least started out with it.

But like others have mentioned, you might want to consider the prep time and expense of formula before you make your final decision.

Also, in my experience, babies take forever to nurse for the first 2-3 months. And then suddenly, they seem to take less time to nurse and need to nurse less often. I had forgotten about this and then it happened with my third one (who is 5 months now) and I thought, "Oh, yah... my other ones did that too." Before this change, I had been feeling frustrated by how much time I seemed to spend nursing. I think at 2-3 months, they seem to be able to suddenly suck stronger and maybe their stomaches are a bit bigger also? So, you might want to give it a bit more time and see if your baby does this also.

About getting a job, do what you need to do. Personally, I couldn't leave them when they were quite so small. I think both of my older two went to daycare from about 10 months. But even leaving them at that age felt hard at first. And I found that having the kids in daycare while I worked meant that I valued the time we had together even more. And I wouldn't worry about the bonding factor; your baby will still bond with you.

Everyone has different experiences and different needs. Do what you feel is best for you and your situation.

Most people have a "I'm done" stage they go through around the 12 week mark. One of my old daycare moms nursed her 4th and last child only. She quit right at that mark. In retrospect she says she wishes she would have hung it out for another month or so and seen if she still felt like stopping. She thinks if she would have just kept it up through that time, that she would have nursed him to a year.

Congrats on nursing at all! Do what you feel you need to do for your family. But know that you may miss it if you do stop now especially since it doesn't sound like you truly want to quit......... I nursed till 18 months with our second and was so done, but after a week, I really missed the bond we had when nursing......

NO!
The decision to breastfeed your daughter is a flexible one that you can alter when needed. If you feel "finished" with breastfeeding, then by all means, wean her to the bottle.
I felt like I had to breastfeed my son. Well, a complicated c-section followed by jaundice and pushy peds didn't bode so well for nursing. So, because I felt "guilty" about not being able to actually nurse him, I exclusively pumped for 4 months. It was awful. It was like having twins, because I could never sleep when he slept because I had to pump while he slept. The only positive things I could find about the experience was that he did get my milk and I was able to donate my excess milk to a good friend who adopted a little boy about a month after my son was born.
I told my husband when I "finished" that when we had another child if breastfeeding didn't work out, I would do formula. Exclusive pumping was for the birds!
Your boobs and what they produce belong to you. You decide what to do with them and when.

I have not read all your responses, but no you would not be a bad mom. You have to do what is best for you. I only breastfed my 2 kids for the 1st month and then did formula. My son is 3 and healthy as can be and my daughter is 5 months. Yes formula is expensive, so make sure you are ready to pay for that. I am doing the target brand this time around. It is way cheaper, and my daughter is doing just fine on it! It is not good if you are going to be frustrated or unhappy just to breastfeed. I always prefered to bottle feed. Everyone is different and your baby will be just fine no matter what you decide. You do what is best for you and your family!! Congrats on your baby girl!

breastfeeding isnt for everyone and anything is better than nothing! It does take alot of commitment to breastfeed exclusively and sometimes there just isnt enough time! When my younger daughter weened I was really upset but a few days later I was actually relieved! I could drink a glass of wine now and not worry about having to feed her, I could drink caffeine any time I wanted! Formula is just fine for her and if you wanted to you could even nurse a few times a day and give formula the rest. Nurse just at night and in the morning, or whatever works for you. Either way your gonna be a great mom and she will still be happy with formula and it wont affect bonding at all! Good luck!