E.F.
Sarah, I don't think you're crazy at all. I think other people are crazy for telling you that "you're young and somehow that should be a consolation." You're grieving. You lost your pregnancy and it's normal to feel the immense sadness. Your husband sounds pretty wonderful to suggest therapy. And you sound like an incredibly intuitive person who knows instinctively what to do.
My daughter was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at 4 months old. And we also had to grieve the loss of our "healthy child". Nothing anybody could say or do really eleviated our pain. We had to go through the process. We're still almost three years later, going through the process. But something that has helped me is to just "go with it" whatever emotion I'm having. Because it doesn't help to say, "I should be over this." You feel what you feel.
Good luck to you and your family and I wish you all the best. E.