Mid-life Crisis behaviors...how Did You Handle It/deal with It?

It's kind of like the "terrible twos".
Best thing to do is support his "ideas" but then show hime the facts.
Buy him a little bucket to put his thoughts in.
You dont say how old your husband is, mine didnt start feeling "entitled" till he was 50. I would listen to him, we would talk about his "fantasies" but were able to squash quite a few of the totally unrealistic ones.
Men's egos put them in a difficult spot with their peers as far as "success" goes. Tread lightly, dont squelch his spirit if you can help it. Do try to make some of his little dreams come true when you can.
Kids will grow and be gone one day.... they will have their bucket list too. (Dont ruin your adult life trying to do things for your kids ALL the time, kids are temporary)
You guys are grown kids and trust me, you will soon have a few things on your bucket list as well.

okay maybe he is having a "midlife crisis". -so?

it's still not okay.

don't you dare excuse his behavior. he's disrespecting you, your marriage, your kids, and everything you've worked for. if he feels so strongly about this, then the BOTH of you need to work out a plan to help him get it. and by the way, when that conversation happens, make sure that it is #1 feasible, and #2 not being completely unfair to the rest of the family. you all work hard too, not just him.

First you need to tell the difference between midlife crisis and wanting something back you miss. Think about why he had to get rid of his old motorcycle, debt, being responsible, being a parent. It shouldn't be shocking that now that a deal came up he replaced it.

My husband is 45, he has done nothing I would call crazy. Heck he has a motorcycle that I want to fix up and he won't let me do it. :( Perhaps I am the one more prone to crazy.

I guess I see the easiest way to keep it from breaking up a marriage as keeping things in perspective. Just because he got something and you didn't is not fight worthy, heck it isn't even worth looking at. It is when the needs are at the point they are putting you in financial trouble or involve a woman say 15 years younger than him, well then you have a problem.

Most people see me as a really responsible person...and I mostly am. But I believe we all need to do some things, buy some things, experience some things that not everyone agrees are responsible.

I don't know if buying a motorcycle is "crazy" or not. It depends on how much it cost, how he's going to use it, whether it takes him away from family things, etc. In his case, it doesn't sound surprising that he wants a motorcycle.

My father spent money on motorcycles and snowmobiles for himself, my mom, and my brothers over the years. My father died last August at 78. His wife of 8 years, who has a different view of money than our family had, remarked after his death about how he "spent money kind of loosely, on those things". My dad worked his butt off as a farmer to support his family. Some of the most fun memories we have are of snowmobiling together as a family, or of the boys and their friends riding their bikes together. So, he spent a little money and had some fun. Now he's dead. I'm so glad he spent the money. He left us a little when he died, but I would've been fine with no money. I have the memories.

As soon as I get my next FT job after I finish my degree that I've been working towards for 8 years, I'm likely to buy a red convertible (yes, before I pay off my student loans). Not surprising. I owned a red convertible 10 years ago. I sold it when I had my baby and bought something "responsible". I have missed it ever since...

Did you doscuss the motorcycle, cost, budget,m etc? Can you afford it? That wpuld be a HUGE purchase for one person to make without consultation and agreement with their partner. If he's doing these things that he "deserves" to the detriment of the family (puttong you in debt, making you miss payments, depleting your emergency fuind, not saving for retirement), that is ut of line. Perhaps you need to make a joint bucket list and establish joint goals that you can save for together.

6 months ago my hubby,44, bought his first motorcycle. I love it, even if he did just have a wreck on it. He's also very gym happy & cares about his appearance. No I'm not freaking out because I know that he's making himself happy. The family is relatively happy so why not indulge him?