Am I Crazy? - Denver,CO

My husband got his bike at my suggestion! None of his friends believe him when he tells them that :) With gas prices the way they are, a motorcycle just makes seance.

You are SOOOO NOT crazy!!!!

If he's good and safe driver - go for it!!! It's not like he is taking it out racing...

I think it's a GREAT idea!!!

GO FOR IT!!!

You are soooo NOT crazy.
You are a thoughtful and caring wife.

My son's father has always owned a Harley (he is a fireman and a Harley mechanic). He is one of the safest riders that I know. He is the only person my son is allowed to ride with (and my son is now 15).

An '83 Honda "cruiser" is a perfect mid-range motorcycle for commuting and weekend rides.

Go for it - just tell him to get an extra helmet so you can take rides with him.

:)

No. You are just concerned for his safety! Don't ever take that away from your relationship with him :)

I think the danger lies in how someone rides a motorcycle. And some of those things are just too fast and too light. If your husband is a defensive driver and careful, I think it's great!

8kidsdad... you're killing me with your answer... only because of your response to yesterday's seatbelt post. Motorcycles are too dangerous but you never wear a seatbelt?! I'm not trying to be snarky here, but I don't get it.

Your far from Crazy mama!!!! Enjoy the RIDE ;-)

I work in the transportation research field. I know what can happen to a motorcyclist compared to a automobile driver in a collision... but I am sure you do too.

My husband fantasizes about a motorcycle someday, and I will probably be okay with it when he is not our primary breadwinner and a key emotional and physical caregiver. I would never forgive him and myself if he was killed in a crash when our kids still need him so much.

When they are financial independent and have families of their own, then I woudl be okay with it. Or maybe I wouldnt' be, but the kids and our security are my major concern now.

I think we are partners and I am not okay with it. And there are some things I think he just needs to respect in me. If you are really okay with it, then I guess it's okay to tell him so. But I would not be. Why add more risk to our daily lives? And if you feel pressure to not deny him something he likes, I would say tough. He has responsibilities.

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PS - Please do your OWN research if you are unsure of your feelings on this topic. Counting collisons means very little, you need understand how many people are on the roads too. Here are the 2005 NHTSA fatality and injury rates for motorcycles and passenger cars. You can also look at miles traveled, but I find that data less accurate. You have to decide for yourself if the risks are worth it.

Cars: 13.69 fatalities per 100,000 registered vehicles and 1,164 injuries per 100,000 registered vehicles.
Motocycles: 73.48 fatalities per 100,000 registered vehicles and 1,402 injuries per 100,000 registered vehicles

(Source: http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/cats/listpublications.aspx?I...)

I don't think you are crazy. I was supportive of my husband getting his bike. I just wish I would've gotten some points for that!

* I should clarify supportive. I didn't at all ENCOURAGE him to get it. I would prefer he not have it. However, he needs a wife, not a mother. So I keep my mouth shut. If I say anything, I would be a nag. All I can do is hope for the best!

You're not crazy. You're considerate and gracious. Just make sure he gets disability and life insurance.

You're not crazy. I got a ton of "good wife" points when my husband bought a Harley last year. My husband deserves it and sounds like yours does too!

Hardly. Other people are crazy for asking that question. You're worried for his safety like anyone would be, but you sound kind and understanding. Totally ok! If my husband found a great price on a bike and we didn't already have 3 vehicle loans (the 3rd one taken out when he started working 2 hours away) then I wouldn't mind him having one either.

No I don't think you are crazy one bit.

Good for you. You supported your husband and he'll love you even more for it. Everyone deserved to do what they love. To keep a part of who they are.

I have never been wild about motorcycles ever...

Then my cousin was killed on one...he wasn't in the wrong the van that pulled in front of him didn't see him. It was a perfect example of an "accident". Had he been in a car the van might have seen him and if not he would have had more between him and the van/ground. He was wearing all of the appropriate safety gear including a helmet.

He was on his way home from the firehouse where he worked as a firefighter and EMT. He actually rendered aid to the people in the van. He then suddenly collapsed and bled out from his ruptured spleen...died on route to the hospital.

So, no motorcycle for me or any of mine. I tell my kids I will buy them one for their "last" birthday. His motorcycle was my cousin's gift that year for his last birthday from his wife and three year old son.

I don't think you are crazy. You are allowing your husband to have something he enjoys, which is healthy in a relationship. Just remind him to be safe.

No - but make sure he has a life insurance policy in place......

Kinda joking, but seriously, I wouldn't care about the motorcycle, but I would want to make sure that my child is cared for no matter what - motorcycle or no motorcycle......hubby used to have one, but didn't ride it that much so he sold it and bought a boat that we all could ride in!

No way, you rock wifey!! Bonus points for YOU my dear :)

A lot of wives don't mind their husbands having bikes. I'm not one of them...LOL My hubby had one for about 3 years. When he sold it I told him that I'd never agree to him getting one again. =D I about needed therapy anytime he'd go for a ride. And I struggled with enjoying riding with him. I tried but I had too many bad experiences with them in the past. He doesn't own one but dreams about it one day. He also decided that a convertible would do. =) I have a lot of friends whose husbands own them.... and my father-in-law does too.

I think it depends a lot on where you live and what kind of traffic he will be riding in.
My husband had a motorcycle years ago and it just got to be too dangerous to ride in the DC area - the traffic there is dangerous enough if you're in a car or truck let alone on a motorcycle.
Drivers of other vehicles just don't see motorcycles, and it doesn't help if some motorcyclists are semi crazy and ride up shoulders or in between cars in stopped up traffic or zipping around 18 wheelers (a motorcycle vs tractor trailer collision won't even scratch the trucks bumper while the motorcyclist will have to be scraped off the road).
We moved since then and it is safe enough to ride a motorcycle where we are now, but now he'd rather have a boat - so I'm fine with that.

No, I don't think you're crazy. He's an adult and if he wants a motorcycle, he should get one (if he can afford it).

Just ask him to up the amount of his life insurance, add an Accidental Death and Dismemberment policy and Long-Term Disability policy.

Heck, I've been trying to get my husband to buy one just to save money on gas (he has a 35 mile commute, one way).

You're not crazy! Statistically, he is less likely to die in a motorcycle accident than a car accident. Just tell him that if he ever gets on without his helmet, you are taking it away from him for two weeks. Motorcycle gets a time out! : )

National Car Accident Statistics (2009)
There were more than 5.5 million car accidents in the United States. Nearly 31,000 were fatal, and more than 2 million people were injured.
The majority of fatal crashes involved only one vehicle (61 percent).
Motor vehicle crashes were the leading cause of death for children and teenagers. An average of four children ages 14 and under were killed every day in auto accidents. Nearly 500 were injured daily.

2009 Motorcycle Statistics
There were 4,595 fatal crashes involving motorcycles across the United States in 2009. In those crashes, more than 84,000 were injured.
Helmets are estimated to be 37 percent effective in preventing fatal injuries to motorcycle riders and 41 percent for motorcycle passengers. The NHTSA estimates that helmets saved the lives of 1,483 motorcyclists in 2009.

Nope! My husband has had either a dirt bike or motorcycle the whole time we have been together. I can't imagine not having one. One of the nice things about having older kids is that we can leave them at home and go out for a ride together if we want to. So much fun!

Not Crazy!! Good for you - husbands need wifes (girlfriends) NOT mothers!

Everything has it's danger. I don't think you are crazy. We can't all live in a bubble - if he knows how to ride and is careful with his attire and ALWAYS wears a helmet, I think it's a great outlet. My husband just sold his, and I felt bad, but he goes in phases with toys. I know it's a great toy (I wish I had learned how to ride one) and if it is a bike that you can go on rides together, it's pretty cool! Plus, if he still had it this summer, it would be a payment with no benefit in 100 degree plus weather - CO is much more habitable (well...maybe not winter riding!) Let him enjoy his - his friends will think you're the 'cool' wife :)

You aren't crazy, but I wouldn't have made the same choice. I think that if you can decrease your chances of accidents, you should. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I endorsed my hubby getting one and something happened to him. Too risky with too many fatalities that I know of. Best wishes and I hope that everything turns out ok.

M

No you are not crazy!

My hubby still has his motorcycle from pre marriage and all his friends said "oh she will make you get rid of it", well I am not that way...as long as he wears a helmet and is a responsible driver he should have an outlet of fun!

I have to chuckle a little...this sounds just like my situation. Met my husband 7 years ago. He had a street bike (600 cc)...traded it in 2005 for a bigger, much faster motorcycle (1000 cc)...I used to ride with him, but after we got married and now that we have a 15 mo. old I would never ride with again. Not that I don't trust him...he is a great rider, has been doing it since he could walk, it's his life. From time to time he talks about selling it, but then says he will never replace it if he does. I would never take this passion from him. He doesn't ride nearly as much as he used to...mainly to work. As far as riding with other people, he is very picky. Everyone that knows him as a rider tells me what a great rider he is...is it still a risk...sure, but so is getting in a car, airplane, and walking down the street. He recently bought a 50 (smallest dirt bike you can buy) for our son. His goal is to have him riding by the time he is 3 with training wheels....so, to answer your question, no, you are not crazy...you are supporting your husband in something that he loves.

Not crazy. Sounds like you care. He could die riding any sort of vehicle, or taking the bus. Hopefully he's a safe rider, wears a helmet and protective gear.

best wishes-

The only part of your question that seems at all crazy to me is the part about all men loving motorcycles because I know for sure that's not true. Otherwise, no, I don't think you're crazy at all. I try to give my guy stuff just for the simple fact of making him happy within reason of course.

You're not crazy at all. Hubby and I both have motorcycles. We love them.

I dont think your crazy!! My Dad's side of the family are all avid "bike" riders, right down to the women. After my Grandma had her stroke, she got a golf cart and had it painted like a Harley and that was now her "bike" lol. I love bike riding, my husband has never rode one. He doesn't like them. I wish he did so we could go on rides... but I have to settle on the back of my dads/ cousins/ uncles for now.

My father in law was riding his bike home from work, and had the cruise control set. Heading down the hwy, some lady ran a stop sign and hit him. The bike flipped around so the tire that was set for cruise was turning into the back of his head. The hole in his head was ½ to his brain. We almost lost him. He has shark bone in his head, and has a dent in the back of his head. My husband almost lost his dad that day. IT was not a fun site to see his reaction when he got the phone call. The drive left the scene. Police state that they found out she lived in a motel, and possible was not in the states legally. So there was no other insurance to cover his medical bills, or any compensation for his pain.
As much as men love the feeling of the wind in their face, encourage him to wear a helmet.

not crazy at all. maybe he'll take you out on it sometime :)

He's an adult and I think you are doing the right thing. I wouldn't be to crazy about it either, but I would let him get it. Just wouldn't let the kids on it (when older of course!!!).

You're not crazy. Sounds like you have a great relationship. It is my experience with the men in my life, most of who ride, that if this were a situation that you should be concerned about, he wouldn't have discussed it with you in the first place.

I say good for you, and good for him, and you're not crazy at all! It's great that you trust him enough to let him do something he loves, and it sounds like he's being quite safe about it.

M father was an avid motorcyclist for 10 years before he met my mom and kids came along. All the while I was growing up they didn't have the money for maintenance and upkeep on a bike so it kinda fell by the wayside. When the kids moved out he got a bike to rebuild and my mom was okay with that. He was always a very careful motorcyclist - think Harley Davidson vs Crotch rocket. My mom never really had a problem with him having a motorcycle it just wasn't something that he could afford while we were growing up. I know he missed it. When my mom passed away a stipulation in her will was that he take "an undisclosed" amount of the money he received from life insurance and purchase his dream bike. I was thrilled with this because after 25 years he was finally going to get what he wanted and it was something that I feel he truly deserved. He's probably one of the most careful motorcyclists out there. He even teaches a class in motorcycle safety. Anything can happen definitely but you can die in car wrecks just like in motorcycle accidents. I don't worry about him at all driving around town. And when he goes on long trips it's never by himself. He rides with a motorcycle club on trips so he's never alone.

Since gas prices have gone up so high and people are losing their cars to the economy, motorcycle sales have skyrocketed as an economical way to travel. The downside is in the winter.

Anyway, I grew up around motorcycles and I've had friends through the years with them. In college especially, it was a lot of fun having my hot guy friends take me on rides. I have neighbors now with them.

However, I also know that they're not without their risks. My BFF's father recently flew head over handlebars because a ball bearing in his Harley jammed for no reason. He no longer has use of one of his shoulders even after two surgeries. He was wearing full bike gear to protect himself, thank God, and he was still scraped up through everything. His helmet cracked and he still had a head injury.

A couple of months ago on the highway there were a couple of motorcyclists weaving in and out of traffic going about 80 MPH. My heart dropped because I had a bad feeling. When they took off ahead of us I even commented to my husband about it. When we came up on them two miles later one of them had spun out, traffic was nearly deadlocked, and an ambulance was on the way.

The year I graduated high school, a guy I was good friends with wiped out on his bike. He wasn't wearing a helmet and he hit a curb. He was in a coma for a while and when he woke up he just... wasn't the same. He needed speech therapy and every other kind of therapy because he had to relearn how to live. His memory was nearly gone. But you know, he remembered me.

So when I drive, I tend to take a position around motorcyclists that's protective/defensive of them. I know that not everyone does, and that's something that scares me more than bike defects or driver mistakes. Most people on the road don't notice motorcycles until they're right on top of you. That's why traffic laws tend to favor cyclists when it comes to accidents.

Teal dear aside, I don't think you're crazy but I think that your husband might be living out a youthful "once upon a time." The good thing is that he ought to know all about bike safety (of course that's a big supposition). He ought to take some refresher courses if they're offered and brush up on current motorcycle laws in your state.

No, my husband has a motorcycle also. We will always worry about them, but they are responsible family men, and good drivers, who will hopefully be safe out there, if everyone watches out for them too. If that is something he wants to do, I believe it is his right to do that, or whatever his hobby may be. I think that is nice of you not have a fit about it!! Lots of women do!

I feel motorcycles are more dangerous than cars. Sure, less kids die from motorcycle crashes because less kids ride on them. People hit while riding motorcycles usually sustain worse injuries than those in cars (even when wearing a helmet) because they are thrown and have no protection from the vehicle.

So, yes, there is risk just existing. But, there is MORE risk when he drives a motorcycle versus another vehicle. Not because he is necessarily a bad driver, but because there are other bad drivers, inattentive drivers and weather conditions out of his control.

I personally asked my husband to never ride one. Luckily, he researched on his own (he was considering) and came to the same conclusion. Not worth the risk.

I don't think your crazy at all... Sounds like you just love your husband and see what he deserves : ) You sound like agreat wife to me... Who cares what others say like you said you take a risk getting out of bed every day and driving itself, whether it be in a car or motorcycle, is dangerous in itself...

Blessings

As long as he wears a helmet and takes you for a ride now and then I don't see any problems!

Updated

As long as he wears a helmet and takes you for a ride now and then I don't see any problems!

No.

And as you said, he is a rational driver.

Lol....before I even read your question for some reason my first reaction when I see "am I crazy?" as a tittle is to say yes you are :)

But my real answer is I think it's fine as long as he's wearing a helmet and not driving like some of the maniacs I see on the road.

Ok, I see you have a LOT of answers, so maybe I should just save my fingers, but I'll throw my 2 cents in anyway.
Sure motorcycles are a risk, but so are cars, walking and every other thing we do in life!
My hubby had a street bike, sold it for $ and has always had a dirt bike in our marriage. I worry about him, but also knows he knows his limits. We have 2 kids and I know he would never do anything stupid to risk hurting them/me. My daughter is 6 and currently can drive a little dirt bike on her own.
Men need an outlet. Motorcycles are a lot less "dangerous" than alot of other things out there. Plus, I think it is a marriage safe outlet.

wow hot topic! Wanted to say you are not crazy my hubby loves to ride too. Everything has its risks and he could be hit by a bus tomorrow walking across the street. Just make you have good insurance and life insurance and he has all the gear. He sounds responsible so why not go for it. Heck my hubby right now is hurt from riding a track day on his motorcycle ( broke his C2 vertebra) and even though I will still worry about him, but again I know life happens and I want him to do what he loves and he will get a bike again next year. Granted only pleasure drives now. Also if your hubby wants there is a group my husband is with on line that does rides in the mountains. They are all grown responsible people that really stress safety. I can give you the name of the group if you would like. Best of wishes and good for you for being a wife and companion and not a mother or nag to your hubby.

Sounds like he is as good husband and responsible in every way. I agree with you that everything has risks; sounds like he will know how to handle this one. I would let him have it--wives can't and shouldn't control everything; husbands come to resent that. You wouldn't want him to control everything you do, either. Instead, you two are talking things through. Perfect!! My husband goes hunting all the time. His friends think he's so lucky that I let him. But he needs that outlet, too.
S.

I agree with Heather M. You aren't crazy! My husband bought his Harley when our daughter was about the same age. The exact same thing happened with us...."Wow! Your wife is okay with this?". It is his outlet and as long as he wears a helmet (MY rule!! :) then he deserves it. You are a good wife and I am sure he appreciates your love & support!

Not crazy at ALL! You are not the boss of him, you are his partner, that can share your concerns should you have any but to "hold" him back in any wants/needs/dreams he has for himself will only hurt your relationship. As well as, you are correct, you could walk out of your house, to get the mail and get mowed over by a car, so in my opinion, live the best life you can and don't worry about everyone else's insecurities, leave that to them! It seems as though people want to scare/ hold back others because of THEIR issues, remember the old saying SEIZE THE DAY!!

Psh. My husband got a motorcycle, then downgraded to a scooter (in MO you didn't need insurance for a 50cc). He was having so much fun, he invited me to sell my car and live "cage-free" for a while. I rode the train to work, he drove the scooter. It was amazing. Transportation (insurance, gas, etc) cost $80 a month TOTAL!!! In fact, we only gave up that lifestyle because we started making babies.

You're not crazy. My DH NEVER wrecked his bike or his scooter, and that includes rather stupidly driving on icy roads (dumb, hubby, dumb), but he got into a major wreck on his bicycle only a few weeks into riding it. Go figure. Good for you for seeing the value this can add to your husband's life!

I think that if you carry a LARGE insurance policy on him and a very very good disability policy on him, then I would probably be okay with it.

It isn't the cyclist's habits that concern me (if they do dumb stuff they will eventually suffer for it, not anybody else really), its all the OTHER people out there that either don't care or (more likely b/c I know I have noticed it myself) just plain don't SEE them until it is too late. There is a perception issue when you are driving behind one in traffic-- and your eyes automatically focus on the solid object (vehicle) in FRONT of the motorcyclist. Even when I know they are there, when approaching an intersection behind one, I try to be extra careful b/c my eyes see the taillights/bumper of the car in FRONT, not the cycle. They also are harder to see in blind spots.

I think they are incredibly dangerous to be on, regardless of how safe the driver is. If someone ELSE makes a mistake, there is nothing between them and the road/tree/car/whatever. A friend of my husband's from his work had an accident on one. He was REALLY lucky and it only took him about 2 months and 3 surgeries to recover from his injuries. This was about 2 years ago. He still cannot remember what even happened to him, and there were no witnesses. He and his bike were found by someone else traveling the road (in the middle of nowhere) and no one knows what happened.

If you keep enough insurance on your husband, then I guess I can see it. Please insist, however, that he always wear his helmet and ALWAYS wear a good protective jacket/pants. My hubby's friend's clothing were SHREDS. He kept them to remember how they saved his life. So he will always wear proper attire (even in the heat) if he ever rides again.

@ Twice Blessed: I'd like to see those statistics broken down as a percentage of cars/motorcycles on the road.

Crazy? Nah. I wouldn't be jumping up and down about it, but what are your other choices? Tell him no? Would he even listen?

And at Twice Blessed - I would think you are much less likely to die in a motorcycle accident than a car because there are so many more cars on the road than motorcycles. It's like saying you are less likely to die in a plane crash than in a car accident. Well of course that is true - you drive daily but fly maybe once every few years. It doesn't mean flying in a plane is less dangerous than driving. You just do it less often.

Make sure you have good life insurance on your husband and ask him to be safe.

I have another name for motorcyclists: organ donors.

My husband talks about it sometimes, but if he ever got serious, it would probably be the largest fight of our marriage.

My husband rides. It doesn't bother me a bit. Although I feel he is careful, I won't ride with him. It is too risky...

No, He loves it, and it will make him happy, and it sounds like motorcycles were a part of the picture when you got married anyways, right?

With that bike I would make sure he has a good quality helmet and ask him to only ride it on nice days (not on ice or during a nasty rainstorm or anything). Insist that he rides safely and then relax! I do think that motorcycles get a worse rap than they deserve... Safe Driver= Safe Fun, in most cases!

-M.