Mealtime Behaviour

My son is 16 months and is kind of going through the same thing, I think it's that age. We have learned that distraction works the best...we give him and ice cube to play with while we spoon feed him, or one of us blows bubbles while the other one shovels the food in, or give him some plastic bowls and spoons to play with, etc. Good luck!

I couldn't get my son to stop throwing food either (he's now 16 months). So I finally thought of time-out and it worked liek a charm. He still does it occasionally, but he used to throw everything at every meal, so it's much better. I say "Don't throw" and IMMEDIATELY put him in the boring laudnry room for about one minute. It really devastates him (so I usually get him sooner than 1 minute because he learned his lesson) and when I go back I say "Don't throw" again and then we hug and kiss and I let him know that I still love him. Not all kids respond to that, though.

As for veggies, my son is pickier now, too. I guess it's a way of asserting their independence. What has worked is to offer him the veggies first, and not let him eat anything else until he eats the veggies. Eventually he gets hungry enough that he'll gobble up the tomatoes and cucumbers, or whatever. I don't feel bad like I'm malnourishing him, because the food is available the whole time and it's his choice. But I don't do that too often because it's just easier to let him eat what he wants and not always worth the battle to me. But I just make sure his alternatives are also healthy, like fruit, whole wheat pretzels, yogurt, boiled eggs. Maybe try focussing on the vegetables she does like, if any. And my son loves to dip things, so that works (but then they just keep dipping and sucking off the dip without eating the vegetable sometimes). I also try to set a good example and eat lots of veggies and say Yum Yum. Also we recently discovered that having the spoon be an airplane or train really does work. He ate the whole bowl of food that he had previously refused to eat once we made the spoon move around and make noise.

Hold on there, because they do start to understand as they get older. And just keep talking to her like she understands and eventually she will. I was amazed when just this week I told my son that he had to eat one more bite of vegetable before he could have the crackers he kept pointing to. I seperated one bite of veggie and put it in front of him. I kept repeating it, adn then he finally ate it and I made sure to praise him and follow through with the crackers I had promised. I actually think he understood, but your child probably has a couple months before she completely grasps what you're saying. I also started telling him if he doesn't want something to put it on his tray in the corner instead of throwing it. Adn I show him. If I'm consistent, eventually he'll figure out what I mean and start doing the same.

My 18 month old went through this phase a few months ago. I used the Love and Logic method (there is a great book about this parenting method called "Parenting with Love and Logic," sorry, can't remember the authors name)and it really worked. Basically, the way it goes is this: it's your job to offer her a variety of healthy things (like fruits, veggies, whole grains, dairy, and lean meats at every meal) but it's her job to eat them. If you offer them to her and she refuses to eat them, you tell her that she doesn't have to, but this is time to eat and if she doesn't eat it, there won't be anything else until the next meal/snack (that is included in her regular routine-- this method won't work if you offer more snacks than normal). Take her food, cover it and put it in the fridge. If she says that she's hungry and asks for food before her next routine eating time, offer her the food she had before. If she's really hungry, she'll eat it. Another idea is to offer her a choice at mealtimes. Make 2 veggies and when you're serving her ask her which she would rather have. Whichever method you choose, ask her daycare teachers and grandma to do the same (daycare workers will tell you that they can only re-heat food once for health reasons, but that shouldn't be a big deal since meals and snacks are offered so often at this age). We only had to do this for about a week before my daughter realized that if she wanted to eat, she had to eat what was offered to her. Also, if you're worried about the types of food offered at her daycare and with grandma, give each a list of approved food (or, if it's shorter, unapproved food) and provide alternative snacks for the times when unapproved food is being served. Good luck.

Relax, You are in a typical growing period that most kids go through. All kids from one time or another trow thier food. I understand that it is important to make sure your little one eats healthy. My advice to you is to feed her what she like to eat and then small amounts of the things that she may not care for trust me when I tell you one day she'll love eggs and then the next year she won't be able to stand them. With 4 kids of my own I can tell you the food thing changes. As for the please and thank you As long s you continue to use please and thank you she will pick up on it and use it when she is a little older. at 14 months you are dong a great job but she isn't quite there yet my children didn't start until I'd say 18 months saying please and thank you on a regular basis. as for when she pushes your hand away when trying to feed her, Relax, She isn't able to comunicate verbally and by pushing your hand away sounds to me that she isn't hungry, from my experience. I would just be patient with her and give her the foods she likes on her tray and allow her to eat at her will. You may feel that she isn't getting enough food at first but be reassured she will do fine and so will you.

I have found that signing works wonders....my 13 month old son knows please, thank you, help, all done, and more. They have helped out alot.

I don't know what to tell you about vegetables since my son is currently doing the same and I haven't yet figured out a solution but I don't think that there is any reason why you have to put up with your daughter throwing food. I never did with my son. If he didn't keep the food on his plate, I took it away immediately, no second chances. He had to wait until the next meal to eat anything else. As a result he was always a very neat eater.

I wouldn't worry about please and thank you too much yet if I were you. She's still very young. Like you, I always used it with my son and now that he's 2 he uses them quiet readily. When she's able to actually say the words out loud, then it's probably time to start expecting it. Until then, just set the example.

B.

We just found a new trick- if we hide baby food ( carrots, sweet potatoes, etc) in pizza sauce or something like it, she doesn't even notice. I figure until she's old enough to understand why she needs to eat veggies, its more important to get them into her tummy then to fight about it.
As for the throwing, when my daughter would throw food, I would tell her that we don't throw food at the table and take her food away and take her out of her high chair. It didn't take long for her to figure out that throwing food got her no where.
And the please and thank you thing... keep saying it. She's probably a bit young to say it back or to have very good manners, but she'll get it.
Good luck!

I'm sure that you've been told this already but she is still really little so you are expecting too much from her! The concept of please and thank you probably don't mean much to her now. The most important thing is for you to stay consistant in how you react to her. You are the adult so you need to be polite always. Children learn from example. As to pushing your hand away, that is the only way she can tell you she does not like something. Forcing her to eat something will just create more problems. You need to tell the people that are watching her that you want veggies available. Try one veggie a week, let it be on her plate. If she throws it, pick it up and remove it without any REACTION. The more you react the more naughty she will be. Just let the veggies be there. Her tastes are going to change so don't despair!! She is just working on being the little person that she is going to be! If she liked veggies once she will again. I have found at that age cheese sauce is not to popular. Try sweet potatos w/ butter, allspice, cinnamon and brown sugar. Tomatos w/ just a little sugar sprinkled in them. Hang in there and remember she is little and has no ability now to understand logic or what is "good for her".
Just love her.
Take care- your doing great!

I have a 14 month old and this is my exact problem dogs eating and loving it too! LOL I have no idea what to do either. Connor will eat off our plates but, not his try even though it is the same thing. I dont get it. I wish you the best of luck but, wanted you to at least know you are not alone!!!

I think the throwing food over the side of the high chair is just something they all go through. She is at that age. I have three and the older two both did that, like you said they think it's funny. I think I handled it by just saying we don't throw food, it eventually stopped. I know it's very frustrating and messy! There was a time when my second child (he's my wild one) would throw the rest of his food over as soon as he was done eating.
With eating the healthy food, I think you just have to keep trying. She is still really young. They go through fazes and something they won't eat this week, they might eat next week. I do exactly what you do. Hide it in food, or cover it in cheese. My oldest is a picky eater and my middle child will eat anything. You just have to keep trying!
And about the manners. I always say Please and Thank You, like when my oldest was a baby (now 4) and would hand me something I would say Thank You. As soon as he was talking he was saying Please and Thank You and is a very polite little boy. And my second child is 22 months now. He tries to talk, he says some words. But I notice that when I say Thank You to him he mummbles what kind of sounds like your welcome and he says thank you to his older brother for things. When you say please, thank you, and your welcome, to them in everyday conversations they really pick it up!!

With our daughter, if she started throwing food, we took her food away for anywhere from 2 minutes until 4 minutes. We used to let her down, too, until we figured out she was still hungry she just wanted down to play, so she'd throw her food. So instead she would sit in timeout in her highchair until she'd get the food back. And we'd only offer it back 3 times, if she kept throwing it, she was done until the next meal, which she would sometimes get the same food from earlier offered to her again (depending on how much was left). It didn't take long for her to catch on after that. Now she's almost 3, doesn't sit in a high chair or booster, and eats really well, including willing to try her veggies, without much of a fight.
So just stay persistent with whatever method you choose, it will work eventually!!! That goes for the manners, too...she will catch on. My daughter was the same as yours, where she didn't seem to react too much when we said it, but now she says "Please" and "Thankyou" without being prompted much anymore.