Losing My Mind - How to Get My House Clean

I SO need to know the answer to this one. I work full time with 2 kids and I cannot clean the messes as fast as they make them. I try...really I do...I keep telling myself that it will get better as the kids get older...

Have you ever been in a tornado warning and think, well I wouldn't have to clean then?

No?

Personally I hit a point where it is enough and I clean like an OCD off their meds. This happens once a month.

I had 8 kids and don't understand why it's hard to clean with kids home and playing. I had our little one play in their rooms or put up a gate while I ran the vacuum sweeper, dusted while they played in the room or close by, did somethings while they napped and it wasn't that bad at all. I did NOT work out of the home so that helped and also did not help as we were home all day making more of a mess than if we were gone all day. It doesn't hurt kids to learn to play in an area while you do work and of course check on them often. As they got older they helped with things like dusting, etc., etc. It can be done while you work and talk to them and teach them as you go with daily everyday work and conversation which can be 'what color is this sock I'm putting away', etc., etc. That's just my opinion and how I did it, or tried to do it in some cases.

You don't mention how old your kids are. If they are at the baby/toddler stage, then do what you can while they nap. If they're older, then they should be able to entertain themselves for short periods of time. Pick a small project every day and try to get it done. The best thing you can do is de-clutter. If you haven't used it recently, get rid of it. Purge your closets - haven't worn it? too big? too small? faded, torn, stained? Get rid of it! Purge your bookshelves - take your old books to the used bookstore and get some money for them. Purge your kitchen cabinets - will you ever really make a bundt cake with circus animals on it? No? Me either - get rid of it! Kids toys - the average kid needs one toy for every year of their life. Your kid is 3? Pick his 3 favorite toys to keep out, and pack away the rest (rotate them out every week or two to keep things interesting, if you like). All those broken Happy Meal toys? Toss 'em! Honestly, if you pick one area per day and purge, in a month you'll have half the junk and it will stay organized so much easier. That is truly the secret to getting and staying organized.

If your kids are a little bit older, they can help keep their own things organized. Even really little kids can "help" with dusting or sweeping or sorting clean socks into matching pairs. No, they may not truly be helping you much, but the important thing is that they see themselves as participating in the process (that you are not their servant; they helped cause the mess, so they help clean the mess). This way as they get older, it will be easier for you.

But for now, just pick one small project per day. Rome wasn't built in a day, and getting and staying organized is an ongoing process!

Ohh I feel for you. I also have two young ones (1 & 2.5), work at home (run a daycare), and DH works 2nd shift. Although I do have family in the area, I hate to use up my babysitting nights to clean since they come so infrequently.

Only thing I've found is to make myself clean 1 room after kids goto bed (even though I'm exhausted by then). Also to swap 1 load of laundry in the morning. I also like to have lots of bins/baskets laying around the house to throw things in, so at least they are off my floor but I can put them away later. But most days my house is a disaster, usually only gets a great clean on Saturday night after kids goto bed, DH and I both spend a good hour cleaning and then call it good enough. We choose AFTER they goto bed because at this age, if they try to 'help' it at worst creates more mess, and at best slows me way down.

It's funny how a clean house will put me in a MUCH better mood...I understand your anxiety about a messy house!! I'll be watching to see if anyone else has any good ideas too!

I wash my floors when hubby is bathing the kids. In fact, I vacuum almost every night after dinner, while hubby spends time with the kids.

With that said, I also clean every morning. I get up before the kids and spend time doing uncluttering type cleaning, and then after breakfast I clean something --dust the bedrooms, vaccuum the basement, etc.. I do all of this while the kids are playing, and I always have. When they were really young, my son would crawl after the vacuum as I cleaned. When I just had my daughter, I would throw her in the playpen. When baby three comes, I plan on keeping to my schedule.

If you clean when the kids are around, they will learn to adapt and play near you. Also, I highly recommend fly lady techniques. I currently have a few really bad areas (I just cannot keep the bed in my office/guest room clean!) but I am working on that. Soon the whole house should be totally organized. I started this little project months upon months ago, but my goal was to eliminate 30% of what we own. I started in one room, and slowly but surely just got rid of stuff. I'd spend 15 minutes every morning working on the "troubled" room. It's amazing how much you can get done in 15 minutes. A few weeks ago I organized the whole kitchen. It took 7 days, but every cabinet is organized and cleaned.

The secret, I think, it to just pick one space and chip away at it.

Also, I wipe down the bathroom and kitchen every day. I then clean the shower on Sunday --when I take my shower! Saturday is deep clean kitchen day. Dividing it all up, and just doing 15 minute blocks, can get it all done.

I just try to work one room a day & if I don't get it done I finish that room the next day. Now as far as dishes & the kitchen I do try to keep up with it everyday.

It is possible to take a little time to clean, and yes sometimes it feels like while I am cleaning up one mess another one happens - after all I have 5 kids in the house ( 8 yog, 7yob, 5 yob, 2 yob & 1yog).

Good luck finding your way to keep it a little cleaner... just do one small project at a time.

We pay my MIL to clean.

We either were going to have to hire somone to watch the kids, or pay someone to clean. She comes every other weekend.

I work full time, as does my husband. We live in a small condo with two kids, one who I can easily describe as a tornado. I know where you are coming from.

I too am in a much better mood when the house is clean, lately it seems like it is never done. My kitchen floor can be washed, and litterly 5 mins later it is filthy agian.

So frustrating, then the kids get wors etc..

How old are you kids? have them help you?

I lose my mind too - and if my house is messy I have this horrible nagging feeling until I clean it. I have an 800 sq foot house, with 4 of us in it, so if someone leaves a sock in the middle of the living room, it looks messy.
I go to school full time, and my husband works full time, most nights I get home at around 6.30, cook food, then bedtime routine. Honestly, during the week, it's all I can do to keep it down to a dull roar. I try and do the dishes, pick up dirty clothes, and make the kids take back any toys to their room. I don't clean during the week AT ALL.
Come Saturday morning, I clean all the way through. My husband usually helps me, and I tell the kids they either help, or stay out of the way.(they usually stay out of the way lol) but mine are older 10 and 4, so they can help a little bit. every month or so I declutter into boxes and put it in my shed. At some point in my life I will go through my shed and donate a LOT of stuff. And that's all I do. Clean once a week, declutter once a month.

I do all major cleaning (bathrooms, floors, ect.) once a week. I do all the little stuff daily, like dishes, and just basic straighting up. the daily stuff only takes me 20 minutes tops (not counting dinner dishes). I get up, get the kids and myself fed, straighten up the house a little (empty dishwasher from the night before), then I go and take a shower and get the day started. At night after dinner, I clean up the kitchen while my husband and the kids clean up the living room (sweep and clean up any toys that might be out), and then he will help them with their showers and I make their lunches for school for the next day. Kids are in bed by 8pm and then the rest of the night is for me and my husband. My kids are 5 and 7 and I don't know how old yours are and I'm sure it can be harder when they are younger, but if you just spend 20 minutes a day, it will get done. If your kids are old enough, have them help you. I used to make a game of it and we would see how much we can get done by the time I count to 10.
Last weekend, we cleaned out the house. We put some music on and just went room by room and just did like a spring cleaning where we went through everything and got rid of stuff we haven't used in a while and de cluttered the house. It feels really great! and it only took us 1 day to do it all. We do that about twice a year so the clutter doesn't get out of control.
Good luck and just take it 1 day at a time, put some music on, get your kids involved and sing and dance while you clean and make it fun and you will be surprised at how fast you can get your house clean.

Well, I haven't found a way to keep the house clean at all times, but we do "clean-up days." This is when it's gotten outside of my comfort level and it's time to straighten. There is no playing until everything is put away. My son, who is 4, helps me and my daughter, who is 7, is usually in her room messing around when she's supposed to be cleaning it.

But, the point is, that no one is making a mess in one room while I'm cleaning in another. Their reward for cleaning up is that they get to play again and usually have more fun because they have the room to bring out some of those large space toys - like Barbies stuff, or action figures, or doll house.

As for the other "real" cleaning, I just do that around the toys clutter and I do it as needed - i.e. when it starts to bother me.

Remember, though, that there are more important things than a perfectly clean house. Remember to spend time with the little ones, playing with them in the mess....

I'm hoping you'll get some good answers on this. We struggle with this too. I will say that the best advice I've received is to start by creating some systems for how you manage the flow of STUFF in your house. Create "zones" in your home for where things belong. Example, all mail in our house goes immediately to my desk to be processed. Weekend gear (tools, bikes, helmets, basketballs, etc.) goes to the storage shed by Sunday night. For toys, all the duplo legos are in the playroom, all the books go in the bookshelf in the kids' room, all the stuffed animals go in the bins in the kids' room. All art supplies are in the art drawer in the kitchen. That way, everything has a home, usually close to where the item will be used. Secondly, invest in some reasonable storage systems - that may include bookshelves, shelves of bins, plastic buckets, chest of drawers, baskets, plastic storage bins. I like shelves of bins or baskets because you can have the kids throw their stuff in a bin, and then put it in the shelf and it looks nice & decluttered. Armoires are nice too, because you can shut the door, and it looks decluttered. Try to keep all horizontal surfaces clear of stuff.
Sort through the stuff in one room, or one area at a time. Have a giant trash bag for things to give away to goodwill and a trash bag for things to get thrown out. Make sure that everything in that room has a home before you're done.
Once you've created a decently organized situation, start managing how you use your stuff, and how you manage new things coming in. Make your kids put one toy away before they take out something else. Have them play their toys where the toys are, vs. take them all over the house. Try to purge things before new things come in (i.e. before Christmas, birthdays, big shopping trips).
Try to minimize the messes created each day. I try to do all of the messy cooking & prep for meals on 1 day each week, usually Sunday. Then the kitchen is thoroughly cleaned on Sunday night, and weeknight meals are just 1-pan or 1 pot assembly meals. Easy to clean up. For bathrooms, I wipe down the sink, clean the toilet and the floor while I'm watching the kids play in the tub. I have a squeegie in the shower, so I clean it while I'm in it.
Anyway, I hope these are tips that help you. I'm looking forward to hearing the other answers you get!
ETA: 1 other tip - if you can, designate one room that you always want to have in order - your happy place! Make that one room a priority to keep clean, decluttered. Maybe it's your bedroom, maybe a nice bathroom, maybe it's the living room. Make sure that everyone in your family knows that room has a new clutter-free designation, and they're responsible for keeping their toys, dishes, magazines, stuff picked up. If you fight that one battle, then they'll start picking up good habits that extend to the rest of the house. It can also be your go-to place to catch some sanity.

I have a schedule for some of the cleaning. Tasks are divided in our home pretty equally. Husband does garbage, cleaning the bathtub, shower room and toilet. He does the bathtub and shower room once every two weeks on the weekends. We have a squeegee that we use after every shower. The toilet gets a thorough cleaning once a month. We use a cleaner that keeps the toilet bowl clean everytime it is flushed. When it is time to replace it, husband cleans the toilet. I make sure the toilet is vaccuumed and dusted daily. The bathroom sink gets cleaned every few days, daily if someone is sick. I do that after brushing our teeth. Our son makes sure the floor in the bathroom is clean after he uses the toilet. I have wipes in there for him to use and he throws them in the old diaper genie. Husband does the garbage at night before going to bed.

I load the laundry machine every evening and just push the button in the morning when I wake up. Clothes wash while we eat breakfast. I hang them up after eating, loading the dishwasher, and brushing our teeth. Before hanging the first load, I sometimes start a second load of laundry. But at least one load of laundry gets done every weekday. As for folding laundry, my son helps with that. I started having him help with the laundry as soon as he was in the stage of moving items from one location to another. Laundry basket to bed for folding. I also had him sort clothes into catagories early- mom's, dad's, socks, towels, etc... To speed up washing laundry, I have five baskets for sorting them. (Things that fade, things that don't fade, bleachable items, bath towels, kitchen towels) At night when clothing is taken off, it goes in the right basket, not wadded up and inside out or put in a laundry bag if called for on the label. My son is great at sorting. My husband has a harder time, but our son nicely helps him now. My son is five and can now fold any item and put them away. It doesn't matter whose clothing it is. If there is a special item that I care how it will be folded, then I remove it before letting him start. I love timers. I say to him, "Let's see what we can do in five minutes." We almost always finish before the timer goes off. Make housework a team effort. Kids love being on a team.

Cooking gets divided as well. I cook on the weekdays, while my husband is in charge of the weekends. My husband will also do a lot of the prep work for me, like chopping vegetables the night before. I have a slight disability with my hands. I was a lefty, and after knicking a tendon in my left thumb I have become a righty. Chopping vegetables takes an insane amount of time, and he feels sorry for me. I also tend to make things that yield multiple meals, no fewer than twice and sometimes as many a four meals when it freezes well. Lunch is always lefovers from the previous night's dinner. We plan what we will cook, make shopping lists, and try to get some leftovers to freeze that will help out on weekends that get busy.

My son always cleans up his own toys without being asked. He gets playtimes throughout the day. When he finishes playing with something, he must put it away before he gets something else out. I started him out with the idea that cleanup was a part of playtime, from the first time he was able to play with toys. It was time consuming and tedious for the first year, but oh the rewards that one little decision has reaped. Consistancy is key! The only time I meet slight resistance is that final playtime before going to bed and then only if we get lazy with the bedtime routine.

I try to have my son clean up for the night before eating dinner. Lights get dimmed for dinner as well. If dinner is eating quickly, then we might play some games, read some stories, draw, do puzzles, something sort of quiet and that doesn't require a lot of cleanup. Absolutely no tv after dinner starts! It's just a bad idea for my son. He gets wound up watching his favorite shows or movies. Then it is bath, storytime with dad (in Japanese), bedtime story with mom (in English), prayers, toilet, hugs and kisses, lights out...preferably before 8pm. (Definetly not the norm these days though. Vacations and illnesses really mess up our daily schedule.)

We have tried to use organizers in our drawers and shelves and everything has its place in our house. Something that has taken a while to get the way we can use it well, but it is so easy to find things now. Keys and phones are always in the same place. Shoes goe in the shoe box at the entrance to our home. (Only slippers worn in the house really keeps the house cleaner too. We have slippers for guests as well.) My son's toys are all organized into clear storage boxes of varrying sizes, they slide under the sofa in the living room and his bed in his room. My son has a little basket that he uses to carry items between his room and the living room. We have in/out mail sorters. And mail gets taken care of immediately.

I vaccuum daily after breakfast. Windows get done once a week in summer and fall, a few times a week in spring when the yellow dust from China is spreading, and daily in winter because of condensation on the windows. I hate winter for that! Bedding and curtains are washed on a schedule. Kitchen sink and stove top and counters are wiped down every night or after messing cooking during the day. My son wipes the kitchen table before eating. Dishes get put away before breakfast. Clothing is laid out the night before when possible. Pajamas are prepared after we get up for that evening. Bags are packed the night before we need to go to church, work, whatever... Try to make a schedule for the harder cleaning, try to make the easier cleaning a daily routine, and make "Let's see what we can do as a family team in --minutes." one of your family's favorite things to do. The family that takes care of each other really can have more fun together. Good luck and I hope you can find a good solution.

Getting organized only helps if you have a spouse who buys in. I don't, and it's impossible for me to put away things for all 4 of us. It's a constant struggle at my house as well. The kids say..."why do I have to if Dad doesn't?" I have stressed to my husband that I am in a better mood when the house has less clutter, but he truly doesn't see the clutter and so it doesn't bug him. When his pile of mail gets so big that it falls over, I box it up and put it in the basement. Normally he never even misses it! It's frustrating! No good advice - just letting you know you are not alone.

I can completely understand how you feel. When my house is cluttered, it makes my skin crawl! A friend of mine swears by the Fly Lady program. (breaking the whole house down into scheduled, manageable tasks).

If worse comes to worse, put the 4-yr. old in front of the TV and strap the baby to you with a sling or backpack carrier. A pouch sling was my best friend when my son was little. I would put on some loud music (or an mp3 player) and go to town. He would go right to sleep from all of the stimulation.

Also- with all of the kids out of school these next few weeks, you may be able to find some cheap childcare through a neighbor's teen, etc. You may be able to swap or barter childcare with a friend.

And- sometimes, when I can't take the mess anymore, I have my husband take my son out as soon as he gets home, so I can clean.

Good luck!

Hi V.,
I can't stress enough how important it is to have an organizational system in place - literally, a place for everything. This will take time and I suggest you take one room at a time. Basically, what you will be is organizing things in a way that makes sense, is easily accessible and can be PUT BACK, without much effort. For instance, in our study I have a plastic pencil box where scissors are stored. This box is always in the same drawer in a bureau and all scissors go back in that box once they are used. The same goes for tape, pencils, crayons - all have their own box. The key really is to put everything back after it is used. This is the hardest part as well as creating that habit among your family. Over time, however, they will appreciate knowing that things are where they are supposed to be.

So like I said, start with one room. Realize that the room will look chaotic while you go through this process of installing your organizational system. Speaking of system, you may want to buy a few cheap plastic boxes, etc. but I've used shoe boxes and food boxes and just relabelled them. Bookcases are great and I've gotten a cheap ones at the Goodwill. When you are done, be sure to bring in the family and show them how you've organized the space and your expectations for them to help you keep it that way.

Be sure to purge and declutter along the way - get rid of items that are broken or are no longer used. This is a very important practice because it minimizes that you have to keep stored away.

To completely organize your house will take several days but I promise you, the effort will be well worth it. Your anxiety will ease AND the best part is that everyday cleaning - laundry, washing dishes,etc. become easier simply because you don't have to deal with the disarray of other stuff around the house.

One last thing, if you consider how long it takes to do certain tasks, can help you squeeze that task in your day. For example, I know it takes me 15 minutes to clean a bathroom. Even in a busy day and I can carve 15 minutes out to do one. I also give my kids 10 minutes to go to their rooms and clean up- they have to get put dirty clothes in the hamper, put away any clean clothes, put toys away etc. You (and they) won't believe how much you can get done in 10 minutes! Again, the great thing about being organized ahead of time is that it shaves SO much time from cleaning up!!

Good luck V.!
L.