Does Anyone Else Struggle to Keep Order?

Oh, my gosh, I was just lamenting the same thing tonight. I have piles of paper all over the place, the laundry room is an embarrassment, and every single drawer is a junk drawer. I don't know what to do...and I don't have the time. I homeschool, also, and stay home, but this house is stressing me out. I will watch to see what others advise US :).

This is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Flylady.com has really helped me. I can do anything for 15 minutes

I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you as I'm right there with ya, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone :)

Let me join the crowd too! Wow, reading these posts, I'm thinking "why are there so many of us with clutter problems?" I say this because I too deal with clutter - and my husband, my mother and my mother-in-law are just like me and so many of you wonderful women posters! We're just all so sentimental!

Here's my solution that has helped a lot, although that peaceful, zen-like clean space I envision isn't quite a reality...although we've just come a long way. My husband and I just moved to a part of the city where we love the schools and in order to afford it, we purchased a house that had about 1400 less square footage. We could have chosen a bigger house in need of repair, but we chose the small move-in ready and I have never been happier in my space! Why? Because we were FORCED to get rid of almost half of our belongings. I watched "Clean House" for the last 4 months and was inspired by learning the reasons behind other people's clutter. Almost always it was sentiment.

Sentiment had me hanging on to 5 dining room tables, sentiment had me keeping 5 sets of dining ware, sentiment was holding me back from getting rid of unused gifts, gifts from aunts, ex-boyfriend's mothers, cousins, grandmothers, friends, etc. I realized that if I can't keep my memories of them intact without the items, the memories aren't that special to begin with. (plus ex-boyfriends are NOT meant to mourn or gloat over - talk about excess junk!)
The most difficult challenge was getting rid of my recently deceased grandmother's beautiful and pristine antique dining table with matching chairs that came from HER mother. But it was NOT the kind of thing for children to use on a regular basis. I sold it to a single man who loved antiques and who was going to display it in his dining area. Otherwise, it would have sat in my basement for at least the next ten years. Would my grandmother have wanted it ruined by kicking feet and markers?

My mother, who has a tight connection with God, said, "it's a sin to hold on to things others could benenfit from more than you." The fact that she has a hard time applying that to her own clutter gave me even more resolve.

We had a Yard Sale over two weekends and sold $2400 dollars worth of sentiment and clutter. $2400!!!! and we weren't selling Tiffany lamps - just loads of moderately mid-range to low-value stuff. Once we counted the money, we went and bought 2 beautiful things our family really needed and 1 thing we wanted - ALL 100% kid-proof: a large solid wood table that is the sole place to eat in our home, a leather couch that is simple to clean, and a 35 pound flat screen TV mounted to a stand that can't fall off and injure a child like our old heavy TVs could. With extra money left over, we bought an antique mirror for my daughter's room.

One other thing? My daughter wanted a stuffed animal - a cat that cost $50!!!!! At first I said NO WAY, but then I thought about it and said, "you can have that stuffed cat IF you find 5 large stuffed animals and sell them at the Yard Sale." She did (she's only 4)plus she sold $30 worth of Lemonade. We bought the cat and she couldn't care less about the now gone stuffed animals.

It wasn't easy - but I squeezed my eyes shut and ran quickly to the Goodwill with our leftovers. We made a hard rule: No keeping anything that didn't sell.

Replace SENTIMENT for things you'll happily use everyday. Your present-day peace and family calm are the best way to honor the sentimental feelings you have towards loved ones and past memories. The objects alone can't do that.

(ps, I did keep my wedding dress and an old plate from my great-grandmother's wedding set. Sentiment still holds sway over really important things)

You have added challenges that alot of folks don't have to deal with. When you homeschool and run a business from home, you're getting the double-whammy! There is probably very little time where there isn't someone at home...well...making clutter! As the kids get further along in their schooling, you're going to find out really quick that the clutter is going to explode. Each year you will acquire more curriculum/books, art supplies, files and records and so on, and so on.

This is why I have to disagree with hubby. I think buying new furniture with a real strategy and space saving plan in mind could be the solution, or at least help reduce alot of mess greatly.

Part of the problem with clutter is, your things don't have a "home". I suggest you begin by going through your things and get rid of anything you don't use anymore, or can't use anymore. Be careful to not fall into the trap of rationalizing why you "need" to keep something. Be honest with yourself, and if you know there is no way you're ever going to use that 1970's Ronco sandwich grill again, it has to go! Don't say, Junior might want to use this to make his own homemade "Hot Pockets." You know there is no way Junior will ever want to use it. So get rid of it! And for sure avoid feelings of sentimentality and attachment.

If there is something you inherited, and it's just eating space, useless or an eyesore, but you're keeping it because it was "Mom's" give it away to another relative who may benefit from it. In fact, have the relatives over for a "give away" and let people take any family heirlooms or hand-me-downs you don't need or want. At least it stays in the family, but not in your basement or garage.

Next sort through everything from clothes to kitchen ware, toys, papers, stuff in the garage like old tools, old appliances etc. Attempt to purge all areas of your home.
AFter the dust settles, and everything is sorted or off to the Goodwill etc. sit down and look at the storage needs of your house.

Think about all of the things you still have and decide how and where you will store it, and then procede to find new furniture and storage to accomodate these things. Your motto and mantra should be.."everything has a home, and if it doesn't it must go". If you can't assign a valid "home" where it will not be crazily stored, or forced into an awkward spot you will have clutter. But if a particular item can be happily stacked and neatly and securely stored you will be clutter-free.

The key is, everything you own has to have a "home," and it has a curfew. Everynight, the family should pitch in and put anything that has wandered from home, back to it's place. The benefits? Everyone will know where to find things when they need it, the house will stay clean, and very few things will go missing or get damaged because they'll be properly and safely stored.

IKEA is a great place to shop for multi-purpose furniture. If you have a family room, you might consider purchasing one of their couches with underseating storage, a wall storage unit, ottoman's with storage, and so on. Consider purchasing storage cabinets for each child's room to manage toys. If they're not disciplined enough to keep their rooms neat, buy cabinets with locks and create a library-style toy check out program. They can only take out 3-5 toys for the day, and have to put them back at night. You could allow for a trade-in or two in case they get bored. But this will greatly reduce clutter.

If you have a room dedicated for school, invest in furniture that folds up and can be stored when school is over. Use card tables for school tables, folding easels for writing boards, invest in a good wall-storage unit and reserve a portion for reference materials and create your own simple library system. Another section can be for manipulatives, and resources. A third section can be for current books and lesson folders etc.

Be sure to invest in good storage now for records. Dedicate a safe dry place to store them. I highly recommend a fire-proof file safe for official records to be filed with the school district etc.

The last key is to devise a maintenance plan after you redesign the home. Each night, the family should pitch in and help straighten up the home. As you plan your home makeover, make sure the house will be easy to cleanup. AVoid complicated decor. Once again IKEA is great for this too. If all you need to do is toss the pillows back on the couch, and toss the tiddlywinks in the ottoman at night, voila! You're done! And the best part is, even the 1-year-old will be able to help, because it will be that easy.

Good luck. I know I ramble, but there is stuff in here that I've done and it works! It really and truly works! :)

A.,

I am a recovering clutter hoarder and do have small relapses. :) I give myself all the reasons - I may use that someday, sentimental value, etc. I read a book called Sidetracked Home Executives and that was helpful. One suggestion was if you haven't used it in over a year (excluding wedding dresses, photos, heirlooms, etc.) you don't need it and should get rid of it.

Everything in your home must be cleaned (at least dusted occasionally) and that is time consuming. I can get rid of things easier now when I see them as something that sucks up my time and energy.

I have a hard time throwing things out (came from a very poor background and have some scary habits that resemble depression-era survivors.) Anyway, it helps to give things away or sell them. I feel less guilty. Right now I have a big pile of my husband's clothes he is ready to part with, but I am not. So instead of dropping them off to Goodwill, I am calling the church first and seeing if someone in our congregation is in need. (It seems more personal.) I also gave away my old maternity and baby clothes to people I knew. It made it easier.

It is so hard to part with things, but I always feel so good and free when they are gone. I can think more clearly when the home is clean and I feel more at peace.

Regarding the little clutter of junk (mail, old newspapers, etc.) Sidtracked Home Executives calls these "hotspots." We all have them and you can mentally list off where they are. It's the places people drop their junk when they don't want to put it away. Try to take 5-10 minutes to clear the hotspots daily. It doesn't take much time and makes all the difference. Open the mail over the recycling bin and drop it in or file it, but don't leave mail out. Put things away when you are done with them and don't leave them out. Do a clean up every morning before you leave the house and every night before you go to bed and make sure the 7 and 5 year old are involved.

Good luck,
S.

It sounds a little like your husband is clueless to what it takes to keep a house clean especially with three young children, and you homeschool and have a home based business? WOW! You are probably being too hard on yourself. I have 4 kids: 12, 2, 1, and newborn, and while the clutter in my house almost drives me to distraction, I have come to realise that until all my children are either off school or we have a much bigger space, clutter is going to be part of my life for awhile.

I try and keep the toys to a minimum and am constantly putting things away, but I could work from 5 am to 10 pm and still have things that need to be put away or a floor to vacuum or a bathroom to clean or more dishes to wash. Lighten up, enjoy your kids, and remember there will be a time that you will wish you still had a little more clutter and little kid voices in your house. My best to you and your family.

I too, have to struggle with clutter, but from what I read with all that you do, I'd cut myself some slack if I were you;-). Homeschooling and all your other activites take alot of time and energy.
I think having yard sales and trying to clear out things that you've not used and aren't necessary to your life at the moment, makes things easier to organize. Once you decide to sort out things that you don't want/need, donate or have a yard sale. I've had two so far and we still have lots to get rid of! But it's nice to see the space and have room to breathe.
So you're not alone at all with the clutter thing if you want a kindred spirit. My husband calls my clutter, 'L. piles". But I'm trying to get better at it...Good luck!

Read "Sink Reflections" by Marla Cilley. It's about the practices we put in place, the actions we take, every day.

A.,
I agree with the others and check out flylady.net I am just fluttering, but every little bit helps and she teaches you how to do a little at a time - 15 minutes so that you are not overwelmed. Good Luck!

We homeschool and have six kids, so I know what you mean about having an excuse for clutter. One thing that has helped me not to become attached to things is that I need to put people before things. If something is getting in the way of my relationship with others, I need to find a way to get rid of it. For example, when we realized that having too many toys made the messes harder to clean up and made me more frustrated, we decided to pare down and share our abundance with other children in need. My kids, who used to be so concerned about every toy that was "theirs" have become much more giving. Finding a local "Freecycle" group where you can post items to offer others was also a wonderful way to have things go to others who can use them and they even get picked up from my house! Just make sure that you don't take more from freecycle that you don't really need. It has been a great opportunity to talk about needs and wants with my kids and I find myself more accountable to not getting too many wants.

I'm sure your problem hits very close to home with lots of other women/mothers out there. I know that I have been battling the "clutter bulge" for most of my life. Just recently I came across a quote that I have posted on my fridge and sticks with me everytime I tell my self I don't have time to declutter. "It takes MUCH less time to declutter than it does to look at piles of clutter and feel bad day after day." Talk to some of your friends and have a cleaning party. Having someone to help you and encourage you to let go of things really will help. I live in Polk City, so if you need help, I would be more than happy to. Good Luck!

Join the club. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything dissapear until I need it. I think it helps to create a system and disignate a space for things. The hard part is getting everyone else to use the system. My husband tends to think it's my system so I should be in charge of putting things away (filing paper work specifically).

Do things in small steps. It only takes a minute or two to empty the dishwasher. Clean things up when you can. The progress will be slow but it may help not feeling over whelmed.

My mom used to have a wall hanging that said "Only Dull Women Have Imaculate Houses." The good news is none of us are dull.

http://www.flylady.net/

I know this is just repeating what other have said but you have got to go to http://www.flylady.net/
She sends out reminder emails and testimonials from other flybabies that have really helped me. She has routines to establish, challenges and even programs to get your kids to help you. The best thing many flybabies have learned from her is:

You can do anything for 15 minutes!

Good luck!

A.,
I am having the same huge problem. I am a single mom in a 2 bedroom apartment- having moved from a 2 bedroom house with storage buildings- I just don't have enough room for our stuff, and I am having a hard time downsizing- even though I haven't opened 2 tubs of stuff in a year since we moved to our apartment. I have started with the clothes. It's the easiest stuff for me to part with. Still not easy, but is easier than other stuff. I am giving everything to the open door mission. I have taken 3 boxes to good will and now 1 to open door. Stuff that doesn't fit just right- things that are too big for my son still, old purses I was keeping for "next season" that I know I won't ever reuse. I still have clutter running out my ears, but at least I know I am making progress. It has come to a point where I feel out of control of my life because of the clutter in it(car home and office)

I have found a site that helps me with all these things.

www.flylady.net

Check it out. It really does work!

A.,
Not sure that I have many great tips as I struggle with this too. I think it's really hard in our culture to reduce what you have around and keep things simple, uncluttered, clean etc. Of course you can do periodic purges etc, but I find what works best for me is to have systems of where things go in place already so if I don't have time to sort the mail, it at least gets tossed in one place where it gets contained. I'm newly inspired to clean out some things that I haven't touched in several years except to move them around. I'm just never going to get back to it. So I'm going to hold my breath and throw stuff out. Sounds like your hubby is a bit judgmental about the whole thing. I used to have a pristine house, but honestly, ongoing construction/remodling in our house and picking up after my husband and toddler is enough to kick my butt and resign myself to low standards for a couple more years. I'm getting my son in the habit now of picking up and helping out etc. Good luck.
S.

I have that clean, orderly home you dream of -- and yes, it is possible. However, the only reason I got here is I married my husband, the world's most organized and orderly person. Had I married a slob, I would still be a slob.

Here's what I've learned over the years (and through a few marital fights!):
*be ruthless in getting rid of stuff
*get rid of stuff daily (walk through your whole house once or more each day, putting things away and finding things to get rid of)
*get rid of stuff every few months (we put stuff out for the ARC pickup)
*have a place for EVERYTHING that belongs in your house, and I mean EVERYTHING

We have a place for stuff to give to ARC. We have a place for mail, for paper to recycle, for cans and plastic to go out to the recycle bin, for stamps, for extra toothpaste, for my purses, for my keys, absolutely every single thing. Because -- you can't clean up if you don't know where to put something, or there isn't room to put something away.

Good luck!

Check out the book, "Clutter's Last Stand" and FlyLady online for great tips.

SAHm of seven in a small house.

You could put my name at the top of your post. I am homeschooling three kids, with a home business and my house is cluttered. My house is very small. I do get it uncluttered at times, but it takes a serious commitment to organize and get rid of stuff. Sometimes the kids and I just take a day off and flush the house. Other times it helps to get some small thing to motivate me. I love it when my in-law come because I alway get my house cleaned up before they arrive. One big help is making Sat. morning cleaning morning. I take a laundry basket and take everything out of a room that doesn't belong and deposit it into the room is should be in. I get every ones help on Sat. morning. My husband has to show his shiny little face also. We all make the mess. I have three jobs, teaching my children, Mother, and home business. It make everyone more responsible if they have to help clean the house. I have gotten one couch in 14 years of Marriage. I loved getting the couch but it makes me crazy trying to keep it looking nice because it may take me that long to get another.

I suggest looking into www.flylady.net It's a great site to help you start getting organized and your decluttered. Good luck!!

These are the clutter years A.. You have no idea how much kids stuff is making your other stuff look more cluttered than it really is. Now that my kids are older (my youngest is 13) I don't have kids clutter in my living room, kitchen, bathroom... it feels like a nice, clutter-free house even though I have also accumulated stuff over the years.

Because I have always lived in small spaces, I developed a way to reduce the clutter of kids stuff: Get a really big box or two and put 1/2 of the kids stuff in the box(es). Put these boxes away. Six months from now, take out these boxes and let the kids go through them. It will be like a holiday for them. For you, it's an opportunity to go through the other half of their stuff and put it in the box.

Oh yeah ~ this the time to purge some of the things they don't care about. While you are boxing stuff up, take to Goodwill what you don't like or what really never got used.

When their stuff has been reduced by 1/2, your life will feel less cluttered. We have the tendency to allow kids stuff to pile up without really noticing how hard it is to navigate!

I know this comes a little late, but want you to know you are not alone. I think I will check out this flylady.net also. Please keep me posted as to what seems to work the best for you. I'm open for ideas. I'm also a sentimental person and hate to get rid of certain stuff due to that.

Best wishes in your decluttering!
~SR

A., I completly understand! I have the same problem and it drives my husband nuts! The only advise I can give you is "baby steps". What has helped me a lot in the last 6 months or so is labels. I have devoted one cabinet in my kitchen to the paper and smaller clutter that always ends up on the counter. I have an upright magazine box for each member of the family in that cabinet and any papers that are important for that person goes in that box. The other shelves are labeled for things like craft supplies, i-pods, cameras, flashlights, and so on. Now I am working on labeling the front closet and drawers. I felt kind of weird when I first started this, but it really has helped. And as the kids are reading now, they can see where things should go also. Good Luck!

YES! I sure did struggle. I found www.flylady.com when my son was about 4 months old. I highly recommend it to anyone struggling with order.

As a starting point, set your timer for 15 minutes and choose a starting place (doesn't matter where), and go through each and every item you own and decide whether you need, love, or use it. If you don't, toss or donate it. (put donations directly in the car so they're not cluttering up your home.) Only do this for 15 minutes in the morning.

In the afternoon or evening (or right after your 15 minute de-clutter session), do flylady's "Kelly's Mission" for the day or the "Riley Challenge" or a "Surprise Challenge". Whatever one you want, just do one. It shouldn't take much more than 15 minutes to do one task.

That's it. That's all you do. I did that for MONTHS until my clutter was back under control. (Then you get to start doing all the other fun Flylady stuff too!)

I signed up for the daily emails and reminders, but they have a "Daily Digest" version too which keeps your inbox a lot cleaner!

Please let me know if you check out the flylady website. She also has at least one or two books out, but I find the free internet/email program to work better for me than a book I can set down and forget about.

love and hugs and much support in your journey out of CHAOS (as flylady calls it),
Jen

Like a few other posts I would check out www.flylady.net or read the book Sink Reflections. It helps declutter & bring order into your home on a daily basis. Your home did not get cluttered in a day & it won't get clean in a day. Also, if you don't love it, need it or have a specific place(purpose) it then you should free yourself of it. You will feel so good after the clutter is gone.

Hi A.,
I found fly lady a useful sight for a while. Sounds like you are a busy gal. I homeschool a 14 year old ds, have a home-based business and am happy with my husband of 32 years who earns 4/5 of our income.
Blessings,
S.

You could be talking about me, for all of my life. I finally got tested and found I had Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. I am working with my family doctor with different meds and a therapist, who suggests ways to deals with things. I have also read Sink Reflections by the FlyLady and other books. It didn't get cluttered in a day, and it won't get cleaned in a day. I am still having a hard time getting rid of things such as clothes (some day I will loose weight and fit into that!), craft supplies (I'm going to make something fabulous from that someday!), and sentimental things from when my kids were little (Some day my kids might want that as a reminder of their childhood). It's a hard row to hoe, as my grandmother used to say. Keep trying, that's my only advice.

I don't really have any tips, but I struggle with this too so you are not alone. Some days I feel like I should just let it go because other things are more important (going to my kids' sporting events, volunteering at school, my exercise plan, etc.) and other days I feel bad because I don't want my boys to grow up unorganized and cluttered. My husband is a pack rat so that adds to my struggle. I have ideas for what and how to do it, but seem to lack the time and motivation to just get it down! Good luck and I look forward to reading all of the tips you get. Oh, it does get a little easier as the kids get older and yours are still pretty young. Mine are now 9 and 12 and I at least have the majority of toys out of the family room now. Once you are able to get rid of your "baby stuff" that will make a big difference too. I am trying to get my boys to help out with the organizing and de-cluttering as best I can.

I feel your pain. I have four boys 7,4,2,17months. I have a lot of clutter and stuff that I'd like to get rid of also. I think one thing that might help tackle the problem is to just do one room at a time, put a favorite cd in and tell your self that you have to get as much done as you can before the cd is over. And a good rule of thumb that I've heard is that if you haven't used it or worn it in a year or more than you don't need it. Good Luck!

I have struggled for, well, my whole life with clutter and organization. Our husbands sound the same! Something that I've found is called flylady.net
She understands those of us who have organization issues and helps us declutter our homes. You can visit her site and read thru the messages or you can sign up for the messages and they'll send them to your e-mail thru-out the day to keep you on track. Mostly she helps you develop a routine, so your not so overwhelmed. Hope this helps.

omigosh yes! In fact, I have banned my significant other from coming over becuase he makes comments even after I asked him not to! UGH!!!! I'm going to have to check out flylady since so many people recommended it!