My son is 2 years old and has recently started giving me difficulty going to sleep, both for his nap and bedtime. I have always laid next to him and gone through goodnights and then sang him a few bedtime songs. It would only take about 15 minutes at the MOST for him to relax and go to sleep. But for the last few weeks he seems to be trying to keep himself wide awake at bedtime, wiggling and talking through the ritual he always enjoyed before. Bedtime is taking 40 min to an hour now. I've tried getting up and walking away anyways, telling him it is bedtime and he needs to go to sleep, but he just lays his head down and hides his face, then starts to slowly wiggle out of the bed.
Unfortunately, I only have one bedroom in this apartment and I share with roommates, so he does not have his own room, and his bed is a toddler bed. He has never slept in a crib since I did breastfeeding till he was 1 with co-sleeping till he was about 18 months old. He had no problem switching to his own bed back after that, so I don't believe that is the problem. He even had a huge bedtime meltdown with my mother last weekend, whom he adores and is usually pretty much perfect for.
I guess I'm just wondering if this is a stage that lots of kids go through and/or if anyone has any advice on how to get him back to going to sleep without such a fight. It's tiring and frustrating to both of us.
My kids did this. Both of them had trouble with sleep. I changed the bedtime routine to make it more interesting. Other than that I don't know. You're not alone out there.
I to am a co-sleeper with my kids, and between 1 1/2 and 2 years old I put them in thier own beds, This is what works for me.
Some have been able to keep the day nap but most of mine have had to lose the nap during the day. You say the average time time to put him to sleep used to be 15 mins, get a little timer and bring it into the room, set it for 15 minutes, let your son know that when the timer goes beep beep mommy is going to be leaving the room, do your normal bedtime routine during that time, once the timer beeps give him a hug and a kiss and let him know it is time to go to sleep, he'll probably fuss and whine a little but it is ok. know leave the room, if he comes out just put him right back in bed, no hugs or kisses just right back to bed, you'll probably have to repeat the process a few times maybe even 20 times, and get your roomates on board it is very important that they don't say hi or anything else, my older kids are used to this routine and have mastered not acknowledging the littler ones, it makes a big difference.
Hope that helped, be patient and consistant it really does work. Good Luck.
i have a 19 month old daughter. she used to struggle and scream when going downs for naps or bedtime. at 18 months i got her a toddler bed with half rails. the first night i told her it was bedtime and she was so excited! she went into bed and fell asleep ASAP. i always leave the door halfway open. she has never had a problem with naps or bedtime since! i think just having the option of getting up when she wants made her feel more independent and secure. i hope it works for you.
I dont know about you, but my 2 year old needs the nap, she will run herself ragged and fall asleep at 6pm. I am having serious trouble with her, mostly she wants her movies or dad who has been away all day. Maybe the divorce thing is playing into this a little. Seperation from him and then you at night??? Maybe try putting him to bed with a picture of dad... stick with the routine stuff, stay firm, but i think that its worth a try??? I know how hard it is, you dont want them to e sooo upset right at bedtime, its crazy. In the end it will work out! Good Luck!
When we started having trouble with bedtime with our two year old I was quick to change what I was doing. I started by giving him a count down before bedtime. Such as "Payton bedtime is in 15 minutes." then did a 10 and 5 minute warning. Then when he got into bed I would read him a book (or as you do sing him a song) then say its bedtime and give him a kiss. I would sit on the floor of his room by the door not sitting to close but close enough that he could see me. The first time he got out of bed I would repeat myself it's time for bed. (in a stern voice). After that time if he got out of bed I would get up and put him back into bed without saying anything for as long as it took. It took him about a week to relize he wasn't going to get his way. He is testing you and he loves getting the attention even if it's negeitve attention. thats why I wouldn't say anything because I wasn't giving him what he wanted even when he would try talking to me while he was in bed. It will be very trying for the first couple of days but if you stick to your guns the reward will be worth it. You will have a little boy that stays in bed when you put him there the first time. Good Luck!!
It sounds like there are some big changes happening in your lives which always is a stage for kids to express their anxieties. Also he is two. My daughter did similar things without big changes happening and come to find out she was not getting enough time to burn energy. One night she did it (in the summer) so I told my husband that maybe we should go for a walk to help her burn energy. She literally ran around the block twice and was still going strong with us "chasing" her and playing other games with her. If she is in the house for a couple days. She's got to get out and go (anything physical and alot of it).
S. it sounds you have done a great job of trying to keep his schedule consistant. If you hadn't you might have had problems with sleep before now. I think you are right to think this is a stage but most people assume that if it is a stage it will pass and things will go back to the way they were. Actually when children move through their stages it usually means they are ready for something different or increasing in difficulty. Many of your suggestions from others were great so you should definitely try some. Remember each child is different and if you can find what each child needs to make them feel safe, secure, and happy life will be more balanced and happy for all. Many of the suggestions you have received were things I would have suggested so I won't repeat them but there is one more I would like to add - responsibility. My son seemed to like to have his schedule include some kind of responsibility before going to sleep. I guess it gave him a happy feeling or something to think about while he relaxed or maybe just a feeling like he worked hard and needed to sleep I don't know. But I would create little jobs that he needed to do to help with the housework before he would go to sleep. Things he liked to do like vaccuuming or taking out the bathroom garbage or cleaning up dishes. Hope this helps!
I also have a 2 year old and I'm having the same problem. I have noticed that he sleeps better through the night when he has had his afternoon nap. I'm recently struggling to get him down for both. I have just tried sticking to our normal routine. I'm pretty excited that today's pre-nap tantrum only lasted 10 minutes!!! Just wanted you to know that there are other mothers out there feeling your pain :)
He might be not needing as much nap in the afternoon. giving it up totally may move up bedtime a little.
I truly think that age is about kids learning where their boundaries are and just what they have control over.
With our kids, this is what works: if I explain what's going to occur--so they know what's coming or what to expect, we have much less struggle. Also, giving a choice that's not really a choice but they think it is.
My dau. likes to pick 2 books and her baby to take to bed with her. She then gets to tuck them in read a story to them. Sometimes she wants me nearby, but other times she wants to do it all herself.
My son is a whole different story. he has been an awesome go-to-bed kid. He'll put himself to bed sometimes up to 30 minutes prior to their 8:30 bedtime.
maybe as he is getting older he wants to stay up later and doesn't need the extra sleep. i know with my son letting him stay up a little later than normal is fine. i not saying letting him stay up all hours. or you might want to try stop the naps and see if that doesn't help bedtime.
consistancy! make a routine...stick to it...and follow through no matter how long it takes for him to sleep...
start to "slow down time" an half hour before bedtime...lower the lights, turn off TV...put on soft music..cuddle time...then when it is bedtime...put him in bed..and walk away...keep putting him back in bed if he gets ups...and walk away...
its the battle of the wills in a 2 years old...you are the boss and the adult...take charge..
we all have been there...and it tears us up to hear them whine and cry, but keep doing it ...after a few days of this...you will win the battle!
Good luck!
Hi S.,
There could be many reasons why he is doing this. Is he taking long naps during the day? My first son stopped taking naps at 2. He still had a quiet time during the day but if he took a nap he would be up all night. I did move his betime up. It went from 7:30pm to 6:30pm. I was nervous at first that he would wake up to early but he didn't. He would wake up between 7 and 8 in the morning.
If you don't think that is it, my son also went through a fun stage where he was getting up all the time. What my husband and I did was we went through his betime routine and put him to bed. When he got up the first time we would say goodnight and it's time for bed and then put him back. After that any time he would get up we would just lay him back into bed. We wouldn't say anything or show any emotion. It was easier for my husband cause he is a laid back guy. I started getting frusterated, which is what you aren't supposed to do. The first night I think he got up 56 times. The second night it was about 20 and the third night it was only 2. The forth night he didn't get up at all. It worked but it was hard to do. Hopefully thing helped. Good luck.
Chris
Sometimes kids just get on a rampage where they begin stages like that. He might be beginning his "terrible twos" at a later age. Also, he is a bit older now so because it is such a small place he might be hearing a lot of noise and it causes him to want to be where the action is. You really should try to get a place of your own now that he is getting older. However if that is not an option then you just have to play hardball and teach him that bedtime means bedtime no matter what. Try giving him a special bear that is his bedtime bear. And read him a story. I taught my son that when it gets dark out that means its bedtime and then when it is light out he can get up. If he throws a fit you leave the room and shut the door. The first couple of nights you may just have to let him cry it out and then tuck him in after he falls alseep. My sons first night of sleeping alone he cried for 20 minutes so be ready for it because if you break down and go in there (which is what he wants) then you have to start all over. Good Luck!
I had the same thing happen with my twins. My son, who was a great napper and sleeper started acting up at bedtime and completely avoiding his naps. He would do all sorts of crazy things (they were in the same room and still in cribs) like take his diaper off to get my attention. My daughter did the same. We tried all kinds of things: keeping them up later 9it was summer and we thought the daylight during their normal bedtime was confusing them), getting them tired (running, etc. at least an hour before bed, separating them, having them skip their naps so they could get to sleep at night etc. Frankly, none of those things really worked. We found that they were just so wound up that they had even more difficulty getting to sleep at night.
We finally came to terms with the fact that they were testing us and that they were respondingto bigchanges in our home. (We just had another baby this summer and had relatives over to help for several weeks after she was born.) PLus, they were going through big changes too (getting ready to transition to potty training, etc.) and were in need of more attention. We finally just decided to stand firm on the normal routine (nap and bedtime) and add an additional 15 minutes of quiet time to the routine (as some have suggested here). They pick out a few books after we read to them and get a chance to 'unwind' (they are still in the same room). My husband or I come back in when they are ready for their final bedtime story (for which they are encouraged to lie down in their beds). Lights out and a final kiss and hug goodnight. they are back into their normal routine (and rarely miss a nap).
So, there are lots of things you could try-- and I see you have lots of great suggestions... including the possibility that your son does not need his afternoon nap. Try out a combination of suggestions and watch his behavior to see what works... but my guess is that he is really just testing the boundaries and reacting to change (maybe for him or for the two of you).
Best of luck!
