I have a 22 month old son who has always been a very good night time sleeper. We have for the most part successfully transitioned him to his "big boy bed" and he has done exceptionally well sleeping in the bed for all naps and bedtime for the last 2 weeks. He is excited about his new bed and receives lots of praise for sleeping in his new bed. Now the trouble begins. He has refused to take a nap for me the last 2 to 3 days. We do our usual routine, but once it's time to actually go to bed, he refuses. He cries, screams, runs up and down the bed, and pulls the books into bed with him, laughs etc... I have layed with him and his "goofy" behavior continues. The more stern I become, the more humerous he thinks the whole situation is. I have tried ignoring him, laying with him in bed, and just walking away. To no avail I have not succeeded in getting him to take a nap the last 3 days. His daddy can put him down for nap with no problem, which totally makes me think that I am the weak one, but believe me I am repeating/doing all the same things daddy is doing. I hoping this is just a phase and in two weeks things will be back to normal all over again? Anyone else going/went through this? What worked?
I don't know that it will work but...I think you must do the EXACT same thing you use to do when you put him down and it worked. I can tell you that every time I vary the routine I pay the price.
Best of Luck,
D. (Mom to 4 under 4)
It's so hard when they don't nap. My daughter had a major, two hour melt down last week after not napping for 3 days in a row. She had a major nap strike a few months back......and it taught me a few things:
I try to not show any emotion when she isn't napping. I let her play, and then, after an hour, I will go in and see if she wants to go to the toilet --she is potty trained. Instead of telling her it's nap time, we have "quiet time." The rules are simple: you have to be quiet and you have to stay on your bed. You can play, read, do whatever, as long as you follow the rules. I don't rush in if I hear her off the bed, as she then makes that a game. I have explained to her that it makes no difference to me if she naps or not, but that when she doesn't nap, she gets grumpy and we don't have as much fun playing. I've also explained the importance of napping as a way to re-energize the body for play. She also knows to be quiet because her little brother and I are sleeping (I don't nap, but letting her think I do seems to help her to be quiet!). Telling her all of this seems to have helped.
What helped the most for me, though, was pulling back. I point blank just decided to not care. Once I took my emotion out of it, and just made clear the basic rules, she started sleeping. The most important thing with this age group is to not butt heads with them and make it a power struggle. It sounds like you and your son are in a power struggle. To win, you have to play to not win. You have to disengage. This doesn't mean ignoring him, but rather, you need to just start laying down the rules: there will be no stomping feet, use your words! please do not whine at mommy. I will listen when you use your normal voice, you can scream as loud as you want, it is still quiet time," etc.
Also keep in mind that there will be some major developmental leaps during this age and this will result in less naps. My daughter will stop napping and then do amazing things. So, if I was you, I'd explain some new rules to him, and then let him pick out a book to read and tell him you will see him in a little while. Tell him you love him and close the door. Whatever you do, don't give up quiet time. It is a phase, and if you hang in there, he should continue to nap for at least another year.
All of my children gave up nap at age 2 (I have 4).....If they slept during the day, they couldn't go to sleep at bedtime at night (7-8). We would do great accept for what I call the "witching hour" around 5-6pm when I was trying to get dinner on the table, they could be very needy.
I would be surprised if the naps returned.....
D.
Maybe you need to have your own routine, not just copy your husband's. My son regressed and stopped sleeping through the night, and for months I couldn't get him to sleep without laying down with him for nap and bedtime. Just a couple weeks ago I started doing this new thing with him because I was tired of laying in bed with him forever. I started by doing our usual routine with the book and such, but instead of turning out the light and laying by him, I told him I was going to go in the other room, but I would set the timer on microwave for 5 minutes and I would come back to check on him and give him more kisses. I just told him he needed to stay tucked in and I'd be right back and to listen for the beep. I make sure I go back in as soon as it beeps and give him kisses, then I tell him the same thing over about coming back. I actually set the time for longer than 5 minutes if he seems fairly calm and sleepy, so that after the first time I am usually setting it for 7 or 8 minutes. So far I haven't had to go back in after 3 beeps. He is always asleep by the third time. I don't know how this started working after trying everything. Maybe he was finally just ready, but wow, am I glad I thought of this.
My son gave up naps entirely about this age, very abruptly, just no more naps, I remember crying when this happened :-) but he was always such a wonderful nighttime sleeper I really couldn't complain. Some kids just don't need naps beyond a certain age.
M. H.
My 22 month old is slowy giving up his 1 nap a day and my 4 yo stopped napping when he was 1 year! I know it sucks but when it happened i just put them to bed earlier. So you lose the time in the day, but get it back at night. And they may be crabby in the day without napping, but just put them to bed at night earlier. They slept longer at night too because they werent napping in the day.
Each of my girls did this - For the older one I just left her in the room, until she fell asleep (have some cute pics of her asleep in weird places). For the younger one that didn't work.. She played with her stuff. So I removed everything from her room, made her room really dark (she couldn't reach the felt on the windows to pull it down) and took the lightbulb out. She had no choice but to sleep cause there was nothing else to do.
My son is 21 months and just started climbing out of his crib and would climb out for 2 hours instead of napping. And at night just kept getting out. So we bought a crib tent and things have gotten so much better. He cries for 10 minutes for naps and about 20 minutes for nighttime. We have been using the crib tent for 4 nights now and are so happy we decided to use a crib tent instead of moving him to a big boy bed. We made that mistake with our first son at the age of 2, and we fought to keep him in his bed at naptime and nighttime for almost a year, it was a nightmare. So we knew we would use a crib tent with the rest of our children, if needed. I would suggest putting him back in the crib and using a crib tent, he might protest for a week or two, but in the end it will be easier for all. Good Luck!
I don't know if you've already gotten this advice but I would check out Healthy Sleep Happy Child. It is great at providing sleep solutions all throughout childhood. My daughter is 3 and has thankfully retained her nap for most of this time. The days she doesn't nap, she still has to have quiet time in her room. Also an early bedtime actually helps foster better sleep habits, even napping! Good luck!
It's a phase. Keep up your same routine. Kids need structure. Try letting him have the book in bed and leave the room. Even now my daughter sometimes is so restless that I need to just let her have a book in bed. I hear her for a while and then she is out cold. We read books at night before bed, but not naptime. There are a lot of things my daughters will do right away for daddy that they won't do for me. :) It's no biggie, they are with me all of the time & daddy is DADDY. lol
