Lonley Single Mom!!!

I know exactly how you feel i was a divorced mother of a teenager son and then remarried which only lasted a couple of months. He left us when i was almost mmonth pregnant and on bedrest so needless I had to deal w/the struggles of complications throughout my pregnancy and of a newborn alone. I also was lonely and w/out any male companionship, no sex for nearly yrs. I now am talking to an old friend of mine and having the time of my life. We are dating now. I advise you not to rush but go out and have fun. You deserve it.

I hope this helps and if you ever want to go out pls let me know.
M.

No not at all ! I for one is married w/2 small children work f/t & I do the same thing everday ! work / home-work/cook / clean / take care of the children / sleep / spend a little time w/ hubbie do it again ! I feel like a robot sometimes !
That is sad the father is not in the picture he should be for the sake of you and the new child.
If at all interested I have a friend who is single w/children and met a nice guy through plentyoffish.com, you never know ! Good Luck ~

no your not a bad mom for wanting adult conpanionship. i go over to my sister's house all the time just to talk to her and her husband. its something all parents need

Not at all. It sounds like you need a friend too. My dad passed away and left my mom with 5 kids between the ages of 6 1/2 and 1 1/2. Her routine was much like yours. I know too after being a single mom for a while, that you want something that offers some sort of satisfaction with your life. You may need to really examine if it's male companionship you are looking for or maybe just companionship itself. A lot of people don't know how to be alone. Meaning that you don't have to be in a relationship, or that you can have a relationship with a man, but it is compartmentalized from the rest of your life. I commend you for your outlook with you hands as full as they are. Yes, you need a breather every once in a while.

i agree take time out for your self and go out and meet new people you aren't the only one thats is without. I have a great website you can probably visit from my church. www.faithmate.com

Oh C.,

You are SO NOT wrong for wanting some time with yourself - or a hunka hunka grown up man! :)

I read your other post about your bickering boys... It sounds like they are getting off scotch free by not having any responsibilities around the house. Why don't you assign them chores that must be completed every day? I know it won't help with the bickering, but it will help with your work load!! My kids are responsible for cleaning the rooms they frequent. They have their rooms, their "den" area (with their computer, tv, etc), and the half bath / laundry room. I *was* doing all of the cleaning in the house (except for their rooms) then realised... WHY?! They are the ones who dirty it up! Plus, they have chores after supper including clearing the table, fixing the couches, feeding the dogs, vacuuming their den, taking out the trash and recycling, and putting the dishes away. (Geez, now that I write it out, it sounds horrid, and that I am sitting on the couch eating chocolate. I am not. We all do equal work! :)) They even have their half of the shopping list that they get when we go out shopping! It cuts the time we spend at Wal-Mart in half!!
My point being this: they are old enough to help out around the house. If I don't teach them now how to be responsible kids, it is going to be a cold slap in the face when they move out!
So, if you didn't have as much to do around the house, wouldn't it be easier to relax a little more on a daily basis? That might take some of the "sting" out of your daily grind. Plus, free up more time for you to go out and have some fun! (Which you well deserve!)
A word of caution... if you choose to implement the chores etc, I would go about it as they are helping you out. Tell them that you really need them to step into the shoes of the "men of the house" and help with things that need to get done. Make it seem like they are doing you a favor - not that they are being punished.
Then, for rewards, you can allow them to go over to a friends house, have "mini-parties" on the weekends (with one or two friends each), and give them something to look forward to. Perhaps that will make it where they don't fight as much.
I applaud you, C.. You have a lot on your plate, and you seem to be handling it so well. I know it has to be hard.

I don't think it's bad to want some adult companionship. It's just so hard to socialize when you are so busy, and that is even true for parents that are married. Can your teenage children babysit? Is there somebody in the family can help out once in while when you get a chance to go out and do something? Obviously you don't want a big babysitting bill, but yes, mama, you do need to have some time for yourself at least once in awhile.

what do they always say...you need to take care of yourself 1st, before you can take care of anyone else. think of how much more happier you will feel b/c you are fulfulling one of your needs---therefore you will be a better mom to your kids! try it out and if it's too much, do it every other month. make time for you!

C., You are not a bad person for feeling that way. I am a newly single mom with a 13 yr old son and a 7 month old daughter. I feel this way often. I want adult companionship and if it was a man then bring him on! lol If you ever want to get together or just need to talk, then lets go. Like Jennifer said maybe we could be "pen-pals". But you do need to do something for yourself. Even if it is only for a few hrs. once a month. You need time for yourself. Do not ever feel bad about that. : )

Dear C.:
You actually should do something for yourself, or you might grow resentful, burnt-out and fatigued.

Before you reach out, you may want to differentiate what you want. It sounds like four categories come to mind:
1) Adult any company as in friends
2) Adult male company as in one platonic
3) Adult male company as in one sexual
4) Adult male company as in one relationship

The easiest way to reach out are web sites (they have them for all purposes, some free some with a charge), but you could also just head out to a pub or lounge (tip: bring a female friend so you don't feel lost).

My point is you should be clear on what you want, so you don't end up feeling disappointed or used.

Regards,
W.

You are not alone. I'm a single mother. I have a 15 year old son from my first marriage and a son who turns 2 on Dec. 24th from my second. My divorce was final in October. I'm still grieving the loss of my marriage but I feel your pain. I'm so lonely and tired of not having an adult to talk to. Maybe we can be "single mom" pen pals? Where do you live? Sounds like we can understand each other well. Don't guilty!

Trust me, I can relate. I'm a 31 year old single mom to a 9 month old daughter. She's my first!! I was engaged before we found out I was pregnant and then he took off. This is the loneliest I have ever been. Even with family support, I don't have the opportunity to get out much. I think you deserve a night out here and there, so power to you if you are lucky enough to have someone willing to watch your children and get out!!!!!!!!!!!!