Long Lost Relative Dying.

He should go visit to honor her wishes and he can just let the other family members know he isn't there for the lawsuit, just to honor a relative's dying wish and make connections to lost family. It's never too late! Perhaps the character is lacking on that side of the family (maybe why they weren't involved much?) It doesn't mean he can't go and show his own great character!

I agree with Tracy. My Dad is coming home from the hospital and starting hospice at home this week, and already us family members are acting differently...we all grieve in different ways. Don't assume anything and reassure your son that his main reason for going is to see his dying grandmother.

I see your sons point, but please don't judge the guy so harshly. He didn't say - umm stay away so I get your portion.

Everyone grieves in thier own way. My way was to dig into the details of planning the funeral and paying off moms bills, and matter of factly divying up her stuff. I never thought I would react that way, but you never know until you are in that situation.

They have been living with this illness and the lawsuit is probably everyday dinner conversation for them. It's new and delicate and sensitive to yall, cuz this whole situation is new and delicate and sensitive to yall. Try not to assign callous and sinister meaning to what the guy was probably saying just to entice him to come so he can meet him. or to break the ice or whatever. Maybe he's just socially akward.

He's 29 and must make his own decision. If he want's to meet his father's people, he'll have to take them at their face value in the beginning.

Blessings....

I think your son should go and frankly, pretend that he didn't hear anything about the lawsuit. Your son's focus should be on his grandmother and fulfilling her wishes and there is nothing wrong with him making that clear to other family members.

It's really sad, but sometimes death brings out the very worst in people. I mean, for heaven's sakes, the poor woman isn't even dead yet and someone in the family is only seeing dollar signs. The woman suffering won't live long enough to see the benefit of it (if any), so to focus on that part right now seems so very selfish to me.
But...that's just my opinion.

Your son doesn't have to listen to it or hear it if he doesn't want to. He can walk away. He can say, "I don't really want to hear it. I'm not here about that, I'm here for HER."

I hope your son will go. I'm sure it will do her spirits good to get to see him.

Very best wishes.

Well as a known family member he may have to sign off on the lawsuit or sign away his rights for them to proceed.

Can someone go with him for support? It seems like he will be the lone stranger in a family dealing with a lot right now. And I would not make it a long trip, maybe a day or two where he can sit with the grandma, they can get to know each other for a bit and leave. I would be concerned about him getting all wrapped up in it. But it may be good for him to get to know that side of the family, and we all know there is good, bad and the ugly. And if it gets too much for him he can just say that he's there for the grandma and doesn't want to get involved in the rest. I hope it works out for him, good luck!

He should go see her and be very upfront with the family about not wanting to hear a word of a lawsuit. He needs to be firm and speak his mind.
But, I think he may later regret not going.

Since his grandmother requested to see him, he should go. This will be a good exercise in dealing with tacky people. Teach him how to excuse himself from a conversation that he is not comfortable with. He can say that he needs to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom, go outside for some fresh air, whatever. Do some role playing if he isn't sure how to handle it. Unfortunately, this is a skill he will need to have throughout his life. If he is asked anything point blank, give him some good answers that imply that he doesn't want to talk about anything negative about his grandma or anything about money, whatever feels natural. He will feel better knowing he has options to stay in control of his role in the situation.

Your son may even need some good questions to have ready in case he is alone with some of his relatives. He can ask things like, what did my dad like to eat when he was growing up, where do they work, have they always lived in that state, etc. Make a list of questions for him to write down. By writing them down, they will register in his memory better.

In the meantime, see if you can find pictures of your son with his grandma or your husband with his grandma so your son has something to talk about with her. Does he have any memories of her or her house, etc.? Does he remember stories of his dad growing up? That would be nice for her to hear.

When people bring up wanting money when someone passes or what they are going to inherit i find it incredibly tacky. I usually respond with "I dont want anything / you can have it all I want no part of that / I really dont care to talk about money. If they continue to talk about it I simply walk away. Not rude like just like I have found something else in the room that intreasts me. I would definatly go as she wants him there and he origionaly wanted to go. Sorry for the loss of your husband and the family relationship over the years. Congrats to you for raising what sounds like a great son. (sorry for the many misspellings my coffee hasnt kicked in yet ;D )

I would encourage him to visit his grandmother. If he is around the
discussion of a law suit for a considerable time, he may get sucked into the conversation if that's all they talk about. It may be difficult, but to remain non-responsive in that conversation would benefit him, surely.