Lonely - Wichita,KS

Being a Stay at home can be very rewarding and isolating. As other people have probably suggested getting out to playgroups etc. are great ways to meet people. However, it may or may not take care of the friend part.

I think a good step to being a friend is to become more aware of yourself and who you are. What are your strengths and challenges. What qualities do you value in a friend? What are your challenges and strengths in terms of these qualities? Where do you get your energy from? Are you an extrovert who gets energy from groups and crowds or are you an introvert who gets energy from self introspection and reflection. Sometimes it can be very tiring for introverts to be in social settings. I am an introvert so I know to make friends, I am going to have to go out of my comfort and energy zone to interact with people. Introverts can be quite content to have a few good friends rather than to surround themselves with many friends.

Try not to take things personally. People are so busy. You might have to take the first step to making new friends. If you can find child care for an hour get involved in volunteering somewhere. This is a great way to meet other people, get time away, and feel like you are making a social contribution, and developing other interests. Be open to friendships. Friends come in all ages and might look differently than what you think.

Good luck.

J.

It takes time to make good girl friends and you have a lot on your plate. If you are worried about your daughter maybe you can find something you can do together, a local MOPS group or something like that because they usually only meet once a week and it doesn't take up much time and hey, you get to socialize too!

Don't base your happiness on how many people stand up for you at your wedding.
Do you have a confidant? Someone you can rely on to call if you need help/a shoulder to cry on? That is important to have but not to fill a "line" behind you at a wedding. It's not the quantity but the quality.
Let's say you have one best friend that is there for you through everything. Through thick and thin.....that's what matters.
You don't need to fill a societal norm by having 5 bridesmaids stand at your wedding. If you have one to call on..............great.
If you have no one, that's okay too. It's about you and your hubby to be.
If you're depressed, do you have someone you can talk to?....a friend, previous co-worker, neighbor you trust and have befriended?
Btw, looking in to someone else's relationships does not give you the real picture. It's a portal that could be all too deceiving. Relax, take care of yourself, have a support group of friends/sisters/family/neighbors...whatever makes you happy but don't compare your life looking into someone else's "window"..............it's not always the correct picture.
Btw, it's not who or how many people you have standing up for you but how much you truly love your fiance and want to truly build a life with this person.
Create a support system of good people over time, take care of yourself, your baby and your hubby. Love to all of you! :)

I met most of my very good dependable be there for me when I need them friends, at bible study or sunday school. I am not the kind of friend that hangs out with someone everyday and neither are my friends, but when we get together it like no time has pasted at all, we just pick right up where we left off and enjoy each others company and wonderful time we got to spend together. I believe bible study has made us the most reliable friends because we have shared alot of thoughts and feeling with each other during the study, we get to know each other very well and thats a good foundation for friendship. Just pray and ask God to show you the friend He knows would be just right for you and He will. You must be a friend to have good friends also.

My hubbby & I did a small wedding with no one standing beside either of us. It didn't bother me in the least. I felt so blessed to have found him that other things didn't matter. I know many moms who would trade your position for theirs. Keep your chin up. :-)

I am there with you. My bridesmaids were my sister, my future sister in law and my brother's girlfriend, both girls I barely even knew, and only about 30 people showed up for our wedding, mostly people who knew our parents.

We get out and make friends and invite people fore dinner, but they just never really stick and sem to pair off with other people instead.

My husband and I decided we would just grow old and lonely together, and enrich ourselves by taking classes, remaining outgoing and friendly and all, but try not get depressed why we can't seem to find good friends either.

Sometimes it still gets depressing, and have the same, 'what is wrong with me?" heartache, but we try not to focus on it too much, and instead turn our activities to volunteering and such and it really helps. When your baby gets a little older you can do more fun activities and play groups. For now, you can join a baby and mom yoga class and things like that.

Don't worry so much over the wedding thing. I had my sister as my maid of honor and that's it! So much less drama to deal with. I didn't even have a bachelorette party - lord help us all! That's just not my thing though and I'm okay with that. You are also a young young mom by today's standards. I know moms who are 28 and feel like they are the youngest mom in the group so that has to be hard in and of itself.

I can understand where you are coming from. I have always had a lot of friends but since we moved in elementary school and left my best friend there I've never been able to connect with some one like that again. It takes a lot of searching and a lot of effort on both parties to want a friendship like that. Keep putting yourself out there. Join a couple of active groups like MOPS, MOMS Club or something on meetup.com. Even if you don't find a best friend you will find friends and maybe you will click with one of them! Good luck!

B., being a stay-at-home mom is a very isolating thing. Especially with a napping baby that forces you to be at home 2x a day, right in the "middle" of what you'd want to be doing. it is a hard time, but it doesn't last forever, so know that.

Secondly, you might want to consider joining a moms group like MOPS or Building Better Moms. MOPS slogan is no mom should do it alone. there's at least one MOPS group in Wichita at the Central Christian Church, you should look for one close to you. It's a wonderful source of support and friendships during these difficult years (MOPS stands for Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers and is open to anyone expecting through their youngest graduating kindergarten).

As for a bridesmaid/maid of honor in your wedding--those were traditional roles that symbolized support of your marriage. I chose not to have anyone standing up with us because I felt that we were old enough that we didn't need anyone "buying into" our marriage. I knew it was right and everyone that attended were demonstrating their support of our marriage. So, consider that if you are lucky enough, you might very well be marrying your best friend.

Good luck! I was not prepared to be as lonely as I was when my 1st was an infant, either.

If it's any help after I had my baby I didn't have any best friends. Turned out all my " friends" were just party friends. I never felt so low. Now I'm trying to meet other young women around mu age to be friends with. But it's so hard. E mail me. We can figure it out together.

Some people have many friends but like you said not a best friend who can be there no matter what. I think that takes more work on your part and yet so many out there only talk about themselves and about 'things' that most people don't take time to really care anymore. To care about others is the way to be a best friend so maybe if you reach out more you will eventually find the true friend. I think you sound like the type to BE a true friend so it's just getting yourself out there an finding the right person to come along side you. I know having children helped me a lot as you meet people in the 'same boat' as you. I stayed at home with our children and had many phone friends, also at home and we could talk and take care of kids at the same time and yet were there going through the same things and laughing and even crying together gave us a close bond and friendship. It may take time and you can't force others to 'care' but just be patient. I'm sure there is nothing 'wrong' with you so don't worry. Enjoy your husband and baby for now and just be kind, helpful, and cheerful and you'll meet some friend who will value you too.

Hi B.!
With the passing of time, you will meet new people, basically because of your baby, she will grow up and with it, you will get to know other moms, every year will be different (park, pool, exercising, mom's group, later pre-school if choose to, and school, sports and other activities) All this, I mentioned, bring friends and friends (the general good people you socialize with and the real friends) both are great! Being a mom is not easy, but you will find beautiful moments in which you and your precious little one will learn from each other. Being a mommy is a beautiful but challenging journey.
You are not silly at all, all of us moms feel the way you feel many times.
Rest and have a nap whenever your little one does, that will help you to feel better, rested and smile which is very good to attract people. Participate in different things, church if you belong to one, keep going to the Y, talk to neighbors sometimes,etc. Remember that is not necessary to have "tons" of friends, just a few people to hang out, talk, vent and being a friend yourself. Good luck, and be happy you are young and you will find what you are looking for!

Im 43 and have tons of "friends" but not someone that I do things with alot. I see other people goin for drinks, coffee, etc.. all the time. I feel like I dont have that "friend". I wish I did. Now I have my best friend that I grew up with, but she lives 4hrs away. that sucks. I do sell M. Kay, and have friends from that, but still, I find myself all by myself. I get what ur saying. I know that this does not help you, but your not alone. I think it is hard for women to make friends. I was always friends with guys. But that doesnt work with a hubby. Sooooooo. Good luck

Naaa...I think you have enough on your hands with school, a husband, and a baby. I find it difficult to include a best friend on top of everything else. No biggy.