Libido Problem Since Having Kids

How old are your kids? If you have one that is still a baby, it can just take time for your body and mind to get back to that place. Have you had your hormones and thyroid checked? If those are imbalanced, that can really put a damper on any sex drive. Are you on birth control? A lowered drive can be a result of that, as well. If you are carrying extra weight, that too can lower your drive. In any case, I think it's worth bringing up with your Dr. They can likely help you!!

M. I had that problem when my kids were young, and it turned out to be my birth control, which was the depo shot. It took a long time to get it out of my system and to get back to a normal sex life. maybe you could check and see if you are on any meds that could be causing it. just make sure you are discussing this with your husband, you don't want him thinking you don't want him.

Oh honey...wait 5 years. Your hubby won't be able get you off of him.
At least, that's what I'm dealing with right now.

I've always heard that women hit their sexual peak in their mid 30s. Well...let me tell you! Going off birth control permanently and officially being "done" having kids has kicked me into high gear. DH doesn't recognize me and half the time it's ME having to talk HIM into having sex.
Talk about role reversal!

It'll come back. Just give it time and let the kids get easier.

In the meantime, I'd say...force yourself to do it to keep him happy.
I always found that I'll get "going" once we start...it's just sucking it up and doing it. And rather than wait for him to initiate...prep for it in your mind and YOU initiate at a time when you can deal with it. In other words, don't wait until you fall into bed at the end of the day and you're exhausted. Put the kids to bed and you initiate before you do anything else that night. Get it out of the way...if you will. Sounds horrible, but that's how I made it through those tough years for me.

Oh yes, there is a magic pill: Sleep.

Not kidding. How long has it been since you've had an *uninterrupted* full night of sleep? Has it beed a while? If so, that could make a huge difference.

(Oh, to catch up you might need far more than just one full sleep!)

I have/had that problem. Had my 4th child at 29. My sex drive tanked after that (it was fine after children 1-3). I'm 30 - will be 31 at the end of June - and it's starting to tick up. It's only been about 10 days, so too soon to call it habit/pattern but it's providing some hope.

I did complain to my OB about it twice, but she kept telling me it was all hormone related to post partum.

I have low libido as well...before kids and after kids, on birth control and off, and all through my 30's. I've explained the situation to my husband, and he kind of understands, but also thinks that it's him. And it's totally not. I just have no desire at all, and could give or take it. I have asked my GYN about it, and his advice was that I need to reduce the stress in my life, stop going a mile a minute, and as life calms down, sex will happen. Our culture has us exhausted at the end of the day, and who wants to do anything but sleep at that point. He also explained that there is no real treatment either, other than possibly estrogens, and that has a whole other set of side effects. I have found though that my best treatment is psychological. If I 'prep' myself, and start thinking about it during the day, that I can sometimes get myself in the mood for later. But if later also means a difficult night with the kids, or other stress, the mood is gone. Sometimes, at my husband's initiation, I've just gone with it, and though it takes a bit, I come around and enjoy it.

Despite my lack of sex drive, and not seeing it as a direct problem for myself, I do see it as a problem in our marriage. When we're intimate, it does put us in a better mood the next day, and we feel closer as a couple. On a long drought, I can tell we drift apart and are more cranky with each other. But it's very difficult to get in the mood. Many friends of ours with great marriages have very active sex lives. And I'm sure that plays a large part. But honestly, with my libido, I can't even begin to wrap my head around having sex multiple times a week, and am lucky with a once or twice a month.

You have to talk to your GYN for this. Get your levels checked. Once they do that, you can figure out where to go. You could have a thyroid issue. Who knows? But find out before you try to take stuff willy nilly.

I did hear that apricots can be good for this, and they're good for you anyway. :)