Leaving Crying Toddler at New Babysitter

My daughter is 2 and she cries when I drop her off but as soon as I leave they tell me she stops. I think its a phase and they know mommy will baby them if they cry. I would try it for a little bit and see how she does.

Maybe you could ask the daycare provider to have one of the other kids take her and get her interested in playing something when she arrives so she will feel included and not worry about you leaving so much. Good luck!

This is actually normal. Babies who are left at daycare or sitters for the first few times will cry. When I first left my son at daycare, he cried for a week and a half everyday. Everytime I drove away in my car I cried. They say the average child cries for two weeks.

However, if your child continues to cry, it could by that they are very uncomfortable wtih your babysitter. When my son switched teachers at daycare, although he'd been attending for a full 6 months, he started to cry everyday with his new teacher. I later noticed many things I didn't like about the teacher in that daycare room and I switched daycare centers.

I say that you're on a better track b/c instead of using daycare, you're using a private babysitter you know and trust through mutual friends. Smaller environments are also better for babies' health b/c of less chance of spreading diseases and infections.

It does get better. I hope that helps.

Hi A.!
I have this same problem. My daughter who is almost 15 months old goes to a private inhome sitter that is a very close friend of mine and both our husbands have been friends since grade school. She is a super super great mom (she has a 4 year old and almost 2 year old)! My daughter absolutely loves her and her kids but she cries every morning when I leave. Since we started-my sitter just recently had a baby and has been on maternity leave and my daughter has been going to my aunts house during this time. It is the same situation there. When I leave she cries. We now have it down to routine---I come in and bring in the baby, get her settled and my aunt takes her into the other room for me to sneak out. My aunt says she never cries when she comes back into the room and doesn't see me-she just starts playing. This keeps my daughter happy and not crying and this keeps me happy, not crying and not feeling guilty for leaving her crying.
Hope this helps!

A., I am a home daycare provider and I am here to tell you that it's very normal. And she will probably go through this phase again when she gets about 2 or 3 years old. The best thing you can do for your daughter right now is to make the drop-off as quick as possible. DO NOT LINGER!! This makes it harder for her and you. If you know that she is safe then you need to drop her off, kiss her goodbye, tell her you love her and leave quickly. She is fine once you leave...it is just the initial separation that she is having a problem with and that is completely normal. My son who is 3 1/2 went through the same thing and still has some anxiety when he is left with family that he hasn't seen in a while. Hope this helps.

Hi A.!
I know it breaks your heart, When my daughter was 18 months i had to take her to a daycare. Even worse...I had worked there as well and could hear her crying from the next room. But after about a week or so, she stopped and realized all would be OK. As much as you want to console your child, you are only making things worse and putting off the goodbye and you walking out the door. Know your child is in good care and will be taken care of and loved. If you try to make things better for him you are showing him that the caregiver cannot. Let the care giver earn your child's trust and things will get better. If you child knows that your babysitter can make her happy and dry her tears as well, the trust will come a lot sooner and your drop offs will become for tolerable. I'm actually getting ready to face a similar situation again myself and am not looking forward to it. Right now I am at home with my 2 boys 4 and 2 years old and my 4 year old will be starting preschool this fall. He's my clingy emotional child and I know it will be a bad experience at first, but I also know in time he will get used to it and accept the change, just as your child will. You are not a horrible mom for having to send your child to a babysitter, you are doing what needs to be done so all her needs are met. Good Luck!

I am a child care provider and I want to tell you that 99% of the children especially newer children I have cared for who cry at drop off have stopped by the time the parent reaches the car. That being said, there are a few things you might be able to do to help as a parent. You can prepare your child, you're going to play at Sitter's Name's house. You can play with (children's names) and the toys while you are there. You will eat lunch and take a nap and play and after that mommy or daddy or whoever will come get you. It may seem long but your child will grow to understand, you may want to do this every day for a week then the first day for a while. You can also bring a special snack at drop off and help her sit down and have it. You can also see if it helps to have her favorite tv character show on for a few minutes (I have a toddler who likes to see Elmo when she arrives...it's on for about 5 minutes and then I turn it off. It also might also help to make the departures quick and happy. You can also create a little goodbye routine. When my son was in child care at about 18 mos, I would say Mommy loves you, give him a kiss and say Mama will be back. I also did a special little handshake with him. Most children in my care stop the crying at departures (if care is regular, at least 3 days a week) within a few weeks. You might ask the provider how long the crying lasts once you leave. If your toddler has not been away from you before it may take longer. Oh, it also helps to bring a special blanket,snack, toy and book for the provider for nap or comfort. And they also love having their own sippy cups from home too!
I disagree with the sneaking out method, it is easier on moms but if you think about it, you are disappearing and she may start getting worried that you will do that at other times.
I do agree that some children cling more - even in great situations -- and that sometimes it could be a sign that the match is not right. My son loved his sitter but fussed for quite a while, weeks, but he did get over it and I remember him waving out the window and telling me bye before he would leave.
One other thing I did was to stay a little at pick-up....show your child that you and the provider are good friends. Talk about the fun day when you pick up.
It is usually harder on mommy than child, I do know that for a fact because the children I care for are playing and laughing within a few short minutes. You can also ask the provider what she does to distract once you leave...most providers do this and it does help.
Hang in there, chances are high that it will get better in time.
L.
www.LisasLearningLand.com

A.-
I have to say it will get easier, you did the right thing by turning around and getting out the door. When you stay you just prolong the agony. She is just at an age where this is going to happen. If you don't see any improvements after a few weeks (yes I said a few weeks) then you may want to sit down with your new sitter and try to work out a plan that might make the parting easier for both of you. You do need to ask your sitter what happens after you are gone, does she have others to play with, does she participate in the activities, does she eat well, does she sleep well? Mine were both like that when we had to change sitters earlier this year, and my son is still a bit clingy when I get ready to leave, but when it is time to come home he is having way to much fun and doesn't want to leave!! I see this as a great sign that it is an act for your eyes only!! HA!!
Take Care
T.