At what age should I be pushing no training wheels on my son. Should I even push it at all. My son is five almost 6 and he isn't really interested in riding bikes but we want to start going for family bike rides and I need to give his bike to his little brother. I have taken the training wheels off and all he does when I go out there with him is cry and not try. He would rather fall over then learn how to do this. He isn't really motivated to do anything that requires effort. I even see it in his school. What can I do to motivate him. I mean he's only 5 what is he going to be like in the future when things actually get harder for him. When he acts scared to do something he effects his brother ans sister because now they are scared to do anything. This kid is extremely smart. When he gets homework I put him at the table and be does it with out any problems but at school his teacher can't get him to do anything.
Does anyone have any advice on these subjects
My daughter didn't ride a bike without training wheels until she was 8 years old. she was scared and I didn't push it. I waited until she was ready.
Let him learn when he is ready, if you push him into it he will just continue to fight it. My twin boys did not learn to ride on their own until they were 6.
C.,
Your son sounds like my oldest son. He didn't learn to ride his bicycle until he was about 8. He is timid by nature and even though we encouraged him he just had no interest in it. Finally when he realized that all his friends were able to ride bikes he decided he wanted to learn and picked up the skill in about a week, (all on his own too by the way).
The school situation sounds similiar to my son also. He didn't understand what was expected of him at school and because he was shy, and tended to be fearful (even though we always tried to reassure him about things) he wouldn't ever ask questions about his lessons, at home I would explain things to him and he would work hard, but that made for lots of homework. Perhaps this may be the problem? Does he ask questions in class? Is he bashful and does he try to go along "under the radar" so to speak?
My oldest son is 13 years old now and in the 7th grade. In the 6th grade (middle school) the school counselor worked with him and made it a goal that he needed to ask 1 question in each of his classes every single day (8 periods-so 8 questions a day) The teachers then reported to his counselor if he was doing this. He is now getting all A's and B's.
At this point I would just try to be reassuring to him, and if he is afraid I wouldn't push him, his reaction is what his siblings are seeing and that is what is making them fearful. Perhaps some sensitivity to the fact that maybe he is like this just because of his nature. Give him time, and let him keep his training wheels if he wants them and they make him feel more secure. Good luck and God Bless because I know it can be sooo frustrating!
C., your little one is only five - don't expect him to be at the level you want physically to help out his little brother. I have a little boy exactly the same age as yours - his brothers are in high school and middle school so there's no pressure on him to do anything. He's not even good at riding a bike with trainers on! I think you are falling into the trap of moms who have lots of small children together and expect the eldest to act way older than they are - it's just not fair. Let him have his training wheels back on - he may be ready in a few years to have them off. You'll have to hold off the bike rides for now - or get one of those things that go on the back of an adults bike and pull them along.Good luck - Alison
Does he have chores around the house, I'll admit, I have not done the best job in this area with my own children. But chores would help,let him feel proud for a job he has done. Also mabie magizines with kids on bikes, going to parks with kids on bikes, every child learns to do things at different ages, I joke around alot, the next time you get a bruse tell him you got it falling off your bike, adults fall too, but that you are OK. Smart children are harder, they know that they will fall, and are scard of getting hurt. Put pads on knees and elbow, helmet, if he is a visiual learner, let him see you tip your bike over, without the baby on board, and laugh, let him see what happens, mabie he won't be so scard, it's hard to cry, when your laughing. Wright now seems so tough, but wait & see how great he feels when he can ride a bike by himself.
Hi C.
I know you already have lots of responses but I was in the same situation.
My son turned 6 this January and up until last August he barely wanted to ride his bike with training wheels on and I stopped pushing him because it didn't get me anywhere. Then his Dad got a bike and started to ride it and my little one wanted to go out riding with him. That's how he got interested in the bike, and about a month after that I noticed he wasn't really using the training wheels anymore, you couldn't hear them on the ground, so we told him we were going to try without them. He got it almost immediately but he was nervous about it. Once he realised he could do it there was no stopping him.
All kids develop at different stages though, there are kids in my neighbourhood who are barely four who ride just fine without training wheels, and others who are 6 or 7. I think this is one thing he needs to feel ready for and in control of, it's really no big deal if you think about it.
At school he may be struggling to adjust still, it may be overwhelming for him if he has an anxious disposition to start with. Maybe you can do a rewards chart to get him motivated, have him do things around the house but also include something on it for school. Use stickers and when he gets so many stickers he can choose some kind of treat from a choice that you give him. Talk to him about how he feels at school, is anything bothering him?
Good luck, it will get easier.
C. ~
My son was about 5 when he learned how to ride with no training wheels....the thing that motivated him was that my friend's son, who is 8 months older, learned how to do it, so mine had to follow suit!
D.
Not sure where you live but we live in an older subdivision with lots of kids. The day my 6 year old son saw all his friends riding two wheelers was the day he went out and started riding. A little competition might help
For the behavioral issue,I would check into what he is eating. All the noise about high fructose corn syrup is true. Too much of the "oses" (fructose, lactose...anything that ends in ose) ie: hidden sugar, can effect your little one's thinking and behavior. It's worth a shot.
I wouldn't push the take off the training wheels thing, maybe he is really afraid. Let him keep his training wheels...my goodness he is only 5! Maybe when he gets his new bike, he might feel differently. Are there any older kids in the neighborhood? Sometimes other kids can be more help than parents. I would let him learn on his own and not have it be an unpleasant experience. Bike riding is supposed to be fun!
Ouch. When my son was little he was afraid of getting hurt too. He grew out of it. Leave the training wheels on until he is ready to take them off. You will notice that he doesn't use them on the bike any more at some point. You can also raise them up a little so that they will catch him if he tips, and he has the benefit of knowing that they are still there.
Mom always said this too shall pass.
Good luck!
S.
Some kids really balk at trying new things, maybe not really wanting to grow up & take on more responsibility. Who can blame them??
My oldest wouldn't potty train, ride her bike or tie her shoes until her sister (12 1/2 mos younger) did these things then she got mad and did them right away. Today she is a doctor and they are very close. She doesn't shrink back from anything, is very gutsy and smart. At the time I didn't understand but finally decided it was a control thing on her part. My guess is that she felt pressure as the oldest to grow up and move on more quickly than she wanted to perhaps because her sister came along while she was still a baby so that time for her got shortened.
The same thing happened to with my son, he didn't finally learn to ride and care about it until he was almost 8. Now he rides and loves it. My older son couldn't wait to ride and learned very early. The desire and learning habits are different with every child. Be patient with him and one day he will surprise you and want to be a big kid and ride without the training wheels, the more attention you give it the worse it will get.
I am dealing with the same not wanting to ride with my daughter... Does he have on a helmet and any and all pads that will help protect him? My daughter revealed to us that she will try this summer after we get her more pads so she won't get hurt if she falls...
Does he want a new bike? (you said you would be giving his to his brother...) Use that as a motivator. Do not mention that his old bike would go to his brother... But just that if he rides it you'll get him a cool NEW one...That he can pick out. Take him to the store, let him pick one out then tell him you'll get it after he rides without training wheels.
Some kids are not physically ready to ride a bike until abit older... Does he rollerskate or roller blade? Tell him its just like that (balancing)but your sitting...
Some of it could be the age... They arn't really self motivated at age 6...
Could also be his way of getting attention that he may feel deprived of.
Sit down with him and ask him why he won't do stuff for his teacher... He may clue you in to a reason.
Who knows... Kids are all guess work... :-) Parenting is a trial and error situation... Keep trying and one day one small bit of their personality will shine thru and help us parents understand them more...
Don't push. Your son sounds like my kids. Smart and unmotivated. Mine are 14, 12 and 10 now and it won't go away. I'd recommend educating yourself on "smart" kids. He may be so smart, he knows that riding a bike can hurt him! Its not a bad thing. It just takes an approach that will empower him and not make him feel bad. If he's "gifted" (a word my oldest said was stupid because he hates being smart) he may feel different from his classmates, and he may get a sense of things (like danger) that he's not mature enough to understand. That's true of my middle son. He has anxiety issues that manifested in school. My oldest is tougher, but very difficult to motivate. Maybe this site can help: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm
Once I learned about high IQ kids (I'm pretty average so I really didn't get it) I was able to speak to them more effectively. Good luck!
Regarding the bike. All my kids learned at age 8. Just got on and rode after realizing they might as well!
He could have issues w/ balance and proprioception that make bike riding a challenge. You might see if Abilities Center in Walled Lake still offers workshops for parents and classes for children called "Spinning Wheels" to teach bike riding.
My daughter is now 9 and she didn't learn until she was 7 and the end of that summer. She learned at her dad's the summer before, however she just decided that she wasn't up to it. It took her friends over a weekend and her girlfriend taking the trainint wheels off again for her to want to. Now she doesn't even think about.
Give him time and let him work in his own time.
last summer when my daughter was 5 she started ridding her bike without training wheels. we let her ride a bike too small for her and she used her feet on the ground instead of the pedals. it helped with balance within a few weeks she was on her normal size bike ridding faster than ever.
My nephew was exactly the same way and the best thing that my sister in law ever did was teach his little brother to ride a two wheeler. The oldest couldn't get on that bike fast enough. Teach (or at least pretend to teach) your 4 year old to ride a two wheeler and see what happens.
I don't know what to say I have a 8 year old with low confidence. She refuses to ride a two wheeler. My son who just turned 6 tried last year he is quiz when training wheels are on but tak ethem off and he can't do it. My four year old we haven't tried yet.Good Luck!! If you find the answer let meknow because my kids don't feel they need to do it. I have bribbed them and everything and nothing works.
You could do something fun with his siblings, and when he sees how much fun the 3 of you are having, he may not want to miss out on it and put forth some effort.
Watch Supernanny once in a while. She often has great ideas for unmotivated kids. Like the earn the rewards 'program'. Here's someone's task, do it, put up a smily face on the board to show your accomplishment, and 5 smily faces per week gets a reward. Like pick out the dessert or go to Dairy Queen. something to look forward to. The more involved in something that can be made to look like fun, the more effort. Make an assignment look like a treasure hunt, for instance. If, e.g., the assignment were about ancient Egyptian gods as was the case with one of my kids, look at the fun of going on the internet and printing out the funny pictures. stuff like that. My one son missed out on getting help because he didn't let me know. There was one on family history which is my one passion. I could've given him a plethora of info and he'd have gotten a fantastic grade. Instead, I didn't know. Motivation is not easy to build if you're kept in the dark.
Sounds like your lil' guy has some anxiety going on.
This anxiety could stem from anything.
My almost 7yr old was very much like your son. He didn't want to try new things, he would essentially "shut down" at school and not participate in the lessons, but when he got home he'd do everything and then some. He was recently dx'd with Aspergers...not saying that iswhat is going on with your boy...just saying that instead of blaming your son for his issues perhaps you should look into weather or not he might have an actual disorder that explains his problems. (not an excuse...and explaination so you can help him work through it.)
I have a bright boy who just didn't care if he did anything physcial ever and it took him forever to learn to ride his bike. I also have a sister who never could learn as hard as she tried and she is truely one of the smartest ppl I know but just is not coordinated. So everyone is different. I had someone show me this crazy bike trick - we were given a small 2 wheel bike that my son could reach his feet flat to the ground at any time so he would then scoot around touching the groud on the bike that is how he taught himself the balance for the bike...he finally got it I think 7 and we moved him to his normal bike. I think it was 2 summers of struggling. He also had one of those Razor scooters so he could keep up with the other kids and that taught balance too. I know those can be dangerous but it worked for us.
You do need to figure out what motivates him becuase they are all different. Putting stickers on a board would never work for my kids. I have one motivated by goals so I am always asking what is your plan and my other child is motivated by helping! Crazy as it sounds I have told the teachers if you want to be sure she is engaged she loves to help and it really works at school once they catch on. It can be pass out papers or do an errand she just likes to help. And of course the constant praise thing works with both of them. I read a book 5 Love Languages for Children and it really helped me. There is one for for husbands and your relationship too!!! LOL.
My son will be 7 in June and is very resistant to the idea of having his training wheels taken off too. Some kids need more time to build their confidence so we have chosen not to push the issue. I'm sure at some point this summer we'll encourage him to give it a try but ultimately, we will not force the issue and have it result in him not wanting to ride at all. Better to be getting the exercise and fun with the training wheels than not to be doing it at all. He can still go on family bike rides with the training wheels. Good luck!
