Learning How to Write a Name

Updated on April 09, 2010
K.W. asks from Milton, VT
19 answers

My son is 4 and i really want to motivate him to learn how to write his own "full" name. He knows how to spell his first name and can write his first name, however its all over the page. How do i keep him interested in learning the "right" way to wrie his name?

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Just give him time and be patient. There is a reason they do not start school until they are older, their attentions spans are not that great. When he is up for practicing work with him, but I wouldn't push him too hard on it or he may lose interest all together.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

atleast he can write something, try using the page to write his name in reasonable wording, as in font and tell him to copy mums work.You have to be patient.

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I.M.

answers from New York on

You could do one of two things. One give him smaller pieces of paper to write his name on it, so that way even if he writes it all over the place you are confining the space he writes on and just try to guide him by putting dots where the letters should start. The second thing is just let him be, as long as he knows how to write it when he starts kinder they will help him with it. My kids name are all regular but the lastname is long, I was worried about them learning how to write it and little by little they learned it at school. I did the first names at home :)
So, don't worry and let him be.
Blessings

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A.M.

answers from Providence on

Um, why is this so important to you at this time? Kids develop at all different rates but they do catch up at the right times. My son at 4 had NO interest in writing. He practiced his ABCs at preschool and K and did okay, but that was it. Now in 1st grade he has great handwriting and reading skills beyond his benchmark. His teacher, who has been in the field 25 years, said some kids just aren't ready, especially boys, and they "get it when they're ready."

On the other hand, my 4-year old daughter learned to write her name with no pushing at all. She just picked up a pencil and did it one day, to all of our surprise! Two very different kids, but equally wonderful, as I'm sure your son is too. Relax and enjoy him for who he is ;)

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B.M.

answers from Boston on

I'm wondering why it's so important for you to have your son do this. It's nothing that a 4 year old should be needing to do. Writing is a very difficult fine motor task, which is why his name is all over the page. He hasn't gotten the control yet over those muscles. Have him engage in activities to practice using those muscles (eg pick up marbles with chop sticks) that will be fun for him. Teach him the letters in his name, and let him make them however he wants. He'll have plenty of time and opportunity to do "real" writing when he gets into kindergarten.

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

boys tend to learn slower so dont worry, and please dont pressure them or they will deff. give up. I suggest making it fun, not only using different kinds of paper and fun markers or paint but using colored sand and sticks, or cutting out sandpaper letters for him to trace w/ his fingers. finding his name out in the world is fun too: oh look there is a J that is a letter in your name cool! good luck and again no worries pretty much everyone can write their name so he will be successful. xo

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M.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Seems like my son is the same and i've heard and read that boys especially are not interested in this kind of thing - girls are more apt to like the fine motor stuff of writing and coloring and boys, well just aren't that into it. Don't push it too much or he'll probably see it as a power struggle - that's the way I'm going with my son.

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C.D.

answers from Boston on

I'd say back off and let him enjoy doing what he loves doing at this stage. You see, brain development drives what he's receptive to and we all come into it at our own pace. When the brain is ready for writing, he'll naturally gravitate to it. If you try to force it on him now, you'll get frustrated, feel like a failure as a parent and he'll feel like he's failed you. Trust that he'll get there on his own. He'll come through his own milestones when his brain is ready for them, and no sooner. So, sit back and bask in the stage he's in now, and every stage that follows! Let him lead the way, and you follow along to keep him safe. That's how to build self-esteem, and it takes the pressure off of you to wonder if you're doing everything "right". Don't force it, let a child's development come beautifully on its own. Keep reading to him in the meantime...

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K.D.

answers from Barnstable on

Sounds like he's age appropriate for how he is writing his name. There are many skills that are necessary to write a name, fine motor, visual perception, visual motor, etc. These all take time to develop and it is typical for kids to not have them all integrated at the age of 4 to write their full name perfectly in a given space. This is something they will work on in kindergarten with name tags on their desks that they can copy from over and over on a line everytime they do a worksheet. He'll get lots of daily practice once he starts school and you'll wonder why you were in a rush to get him to do it sooner.

If he is unable to hold a pencil with a proper 3 point grasp then that should be your focus. Make sure he is holding his pencil correctly. Don't pressure him to do things he isn't ready for, but if he is asking or trying then using smaller paper or giving him a line to write it on usually helps. Using the dot method to trace works for some kids, but can be visually confusing for others. Highlighted letters that he can trace over can help, but the best way is just the copy method from a model.

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R.F.

answers from Boston on

My son is just about 4 and he was doing the same thing - letters were all over the place and in many different sizes. We explained about letters being in a certain order so they are easy to read and also about sizes. What was the most helpful for him, however, was to draw two horizontal lines and then a series of vertical lines - like a grid - for him so he could put one letter in each square. When he writes things on is own with no lines they still aren't perfect, but he's 4, so who cares! But things improved dramatically, and I think he really enjoys being able to do things correctly. He loves to write his own cards for people and loves that adults are able to read what he wrote.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd agree that he'll come around in time, but you can always go to a school supply store and buy wide ruled paper (like we had in 1st grade) and start having him try to keep it in the lines. I'd just commend him no matter how he does it.

Our son likes having "dots". He's not quite 4 and loves writing his name, our names, etc. His teachers at school started by dotting out the letters (that way you can control the size) for him to connect. We've been able to gradually move past that now that several weeks have passed.

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Springfield on

learning to keep letters in a contained space is a developmental process...he's learning and practicing a lot of skills just by putting the paper to the page. kid art and writing both grow through several stages which are linked to brain development. Perhaps what he's writing is "right" for him at this stage...though it may not look "right" compared to adult writing.

you could get him some of the lined paper they use in elementary school...but as for the learning process...it takes kids a little longer for kids to get the whole idea about space on the page.

I'm sure you can find some early childhood books that would explain in more detail...and that would give some ideas that are developmentally appropriate so you can capitalize on his enthusiasm for writing, without pushing him past where he needs to be which could result in frustration.

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M.T.

answers from Providence on

My daughter Hannah is 4 as well and had the SAME exact problem. All I kept doing was reminding her when she was writing to put her letters in a straight line, then let her keep doing what she wanted (no pressure). After about 2-3 weeks, it just clicked one day and now she writes in straight lines.

One other thing - her daycare uses the lined writing paper - you know the ones with extra big spaces for them to write (not our regular notebook paper). You might want to try that as well. But just give him time, he will get it

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J.R.

answers from Springfield on

You can purchase a notepad of large ruled school paper from walmart or if you google it you usually can find preschool websites you can print the paper from for free. Google free preschool handwriting sheets and you will have a large selection of sites to use for reference. You can also find websites to create writing pages with the letters premade out of dots and your child can trace them. This is how I teach my daycare children to write. Good luck!!!

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Have him make cards out of construction paper for family and friends and then of course he needs to sign his name on them before giving them away!!!! I would just focus on his first name and once he gets that down real good, then practice the last name. Draw a line for him to write his name on that way it's not all over the place.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

What's your hurry? He's not behind or delayed!!! Having his name "all over the place" is awesome! Just encourage him with what he's already doing. If you ask teachers, they don't care a whit if kids can write when they come to kindergarten! They just need to know how to sit in a group, negotiate their own space without hitting, and be able to separate from Mom & Dad. That's all. He'll figure it out in time. For now, if you provide lots of opportunities to develop fine motor skills (coloring, small blocks like Legos, craft activities), then he will have the dexterity to handle a pencil and learn along with the rest of the kids.

I really think we push our kids way too much in so many ways - tons of scheduled activities for "enrichment" and structured academics at home or at "academic" preschools. Kids have forgotten how to be kids and how to play freely and creatively. They need down time to let their brains develop. They need to have pick-up games with kids in the neighborhood, ride bikes, dig worms, catch toads, blow dandelions, chase fireflies. They need to combine parts of different sets of toys into new structures. My advice, based on so many conversations with teachers, is NOT to worry about taking academic pursuits into your own hands. Instead, take nature walks and go to museums and just let your child DISCOVER. You will both enjoy it more, and it will pay off in the long run! My kid was late to write, still holds a pencil "wrong", potty trained late, and only was allowed two structured activities per week, one of which was religious school and the other of which was usually a sport or an after school club. By high school, he was ready for the track team every day. He's a strong leader, got into a great college with a big scholarship even though he wasn't a straight A student, became a champion runner, was team captain, has great friends and never got into any trouble. He's pursuing an environmental engineering degree and he gets along with all kinds of people and can function in all kinds of social situations. I'm glad we did it the way we did.

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

In our local dollar store I recently saw the writing notebooks with the 3 lines. Top line, bottom line and dotted line in the middle. You can write his name on the paper, showing him how to stay in the lines. This is the start but honestly don't expect perfection for a long time - years really. Some kids are really good at fine motor control others not so good. It takes time, practice and patience to get write down.
Also you could try workbooks. I've seen them in Barnes & Nobles but I'm sure you could find them other places.

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C.P.

answers from New York on

My son is 3 but has learned to spell his name (not write it) while playing in the tub with washable paints from the baby section in Target (next to Mr. Bubble). They just love to "write" on the wall. Another thing we use is a doodle board. Dad write his name above and he tries to copy it. All over the page, backwards, more doodles than anything, but he's enjoying learning. Focus more in having him say his full name and possibly spell it out loud.

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L.C.

answers from Hartford on

Hi,
What I have done with my kids and I now help in in kindergarten is that I will make dots of their name. I tell them to just trace the dots. It helps them learn to stay in a straight line along with forming their letters. Good Luck!

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