How Do I Help My Three Year Old to Write.

Updated on October 22, 2008
M.T. asks from Worcester, MA
27 answers

need help in helping my three year to write. He's having difficulty with some letters. Have any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

I thank you all for all your helpful tips and advise. I'll just take one day at the time. I didn't want him to be left behind. Because when I talk to other friends, and hearing what their three year old are doing, I feel that my son is far behind and he needs to catch up. But I'm not going to rush him. Many thanks to all of you who responded to my request.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Wake up call for you He's 3!!!! I don't understand why ppl don't let their kids be kids anymore. At this point I would be working on colors and shapes and maybe learning what letter is what. Teaching him to write his name and play writing. Many kids screw up their letters in kindergarten and first grade still. Relax.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Don't worry about it. The average three year old doesn't have the fine motor skills necessary to properly grip a pencil and write a letter. Let it go...wait a few years.

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M.M.

answers from Hartford on

As someone who has a degree in early childhood education and who has worked with young children for years, I would not stress over this - his motor skills are still developing and he would benefit much more from activities such as painting, coloring, puzzles, Legos, and such that will develop his small muscle control. He does not need to know how to write his letters at this point. (unless he is asking himself, which in that case, they do not need to be perfect)Don't rush him -
I read some of the other posts and I am also against coloring books at this age - why should they stay in the lines? Coloring books do not foster creativity - they stifle it. Instead, give him large sheets of paper and let him create whatever he wants. Do not limit him to filling in someone else's drawings.

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T.D.

answers from Boston on

My best advice for you is to RELAX! 3 year olds are not really developmentally ready to write, at least not words and such. They are at a stage where they should start understanding about coloring in the lines of a large picture in a coloring book and working on recognizing letters and perhaps writing the letters of their name. At this point many letters are formed backwards or very large because they just can't manage their little fingers to do such fine work. Don't push because you don't want writing to become "work" at this stage in the developmental process. Buy coloring books that label what is in the pictures, talk about letters and 3 letter words and encourage him to write his name on his "papers" like he will in school. Make it fun and just enjoy him.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

Three years old seems awfully young to be writing letters of the alphabet - wow! Perhaps your son is exceptionally skilled with his hands. If so, I would just give him pens and paper and let him draw as much as he likes but not force him to practice his letters unless he seems really interested in trying it. A 3-year-old's hands usually aren't strong or steady enough to make perfect letters, so I wouldn't push him or he may get frustrated and really resist learning those letters later on.
Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Barnstable on

Their fine motor skills and perceptual development are not at a point where he should be writing yet. Encourage proper crayon grasp at this point and making circles. When he can do that add other shapes like squares, triangles, X's, etc (but still early to do those too). Don't worry about what other kids are doing. Believe me, I volunteer in a kindergarten classroom and over half the class doesn't know hardly any letters yet, nor can they write them. They are just starting to write their names. Kindergarten is for teaching these skills and if your child arrives way ahead of the game they will just end up bored and not learning anything. Don't rush him.

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S.O.

answers from Providence on

It is not developmentally appropriate for most 3 year olds to write. If and only if he is interested, let him do it how ever he wants to do. Focus on drawing shapes, colors and pencil control at age 3. Talk to you local preschool about what they are doing developmentally. In most schools they play with pencils and crayons (by the way, markers don't help develop hand strength and control that is needed to write)and if anything they "kid write" which does not necessarily have legible results. Don't push him or he will hate it later. Make it fun. Send a card to grandma. He can draw or write if he wants and you can transcribe at the bottom or on back so grandma can actually read it. That's how you develop a love and a curiosity about it. Good luck.

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

A box of sand to write in with your fingers.

Why do you want him to write at age three? The grass does not grow faster when you pull on it....

be well,
D.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I agree with the previous poster. My nephew is three and likes tracing letters but he sure isn't good at it. His brother was 4 when they started tracing and practicing letters in school. He is now 5 and they gave him a different kind of pen to learn how to hold correctly. Three seems really young to write. Scribble, draw, trace perhaps but it will still look a little scribbly for a while.

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

First, if he is not interested all by himself, please wait a year.
Second, if he really wants to print letters, it would help if we knew more.
If he is having difficulty holding the pencil correctly, then there are lots of fun activities to build the grasp (lite brite, pick up sticks, playdoh and cutter, etc.)
If he is having making individual letters, is it a copying difficulty? Make suares of paper, each with one symbol in it ( a horizontal line, a vertical line, an angle, a cross). If he can copy these, flawlessly, his brain has incorporated these movements. If he cannot, it is to early for him, and he should be coloring, drawing, painting, cutting and gluing, until his developing brain naturally matures. Beginning too early causes poor writing posture and a hooked hand. Very difficult to correct later.
Also, please know that capital letters can be very difficult because so many have angles. Often children do lowercase letters easier.
Best of luck to you both.

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G.V.

answers from New London on

I agree with all of the other moms. Relax and when he is ready, you can teach him. Three is young - he should be coloring (outside of the lines!) in his coloring book. There will be plenty of time for letters when he gets to school. Don't listen to the mothers who say their child is two and writing and reading and spelling. They should be humble and not rub another mother's face in it. And who knows if it is even true. My son is 17 and I've dealt with that all these years, the mothers who love to brag, but then say, "Oh, but every child is different." Like as if to say: Too bad mine is "blessed" and yours isn't. So that's what you should worry about. Trying to humble and SILENCE some of these mothers. Or better yet, IGNORE these moms and let your son be a little boy. You know he is better than some of these precocious kids anyway! Good luck.

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N.R.

answers from Boston on

I agree that 3 is young to be starting his letters but if he's doing it go with it. Just know that he's actually ahead of the game and don't push him or get upset if he can't do it. Walmart has a dry erase board that has the alphabet on it and he can trace it. He may like the fact that he can erase it and do it again. I would just sit with him when he does it because the marker may get messy.

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G.I.

answers from Hartford on

I can't remember where the step mother had found the book but I recall helping an older child by letting him work on some of the pages. It was a lot like an activity book but it dealt with the alphabet. When I had problems with the step mother over it, I used to take the time to write up a chart of what the letters looked like and have him trace the letter I wrote then write it himself a couple of times. His teacher commented that he was getting better at writing his letters on top of my positive reinforcement and it would make him beam with pride. I hope that helps.

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L.R.

answers from Portland on

My son is in his last year at a Montessori preschool. It is difficult for children to learn to hold a pencil and write letters all at once. So they teach them to trace letters with their fingers first, like in a plate of sand or sugar or flour. In school they have cards w/ textured letters that they trace (like sandpaper). Once they have mastered that then they learn to write them using a pencil or crayon. Further to that, they teach them letter sounds first vs the letter name, as the letter name doesn't always tell you how to say the sound. I hope that helps. L. R.

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J.G.

answers from Boston on

BJ's has some inexpensive preschool books that I have used with my son. You can look at the letter, trace the letter, then write it on your own. They have worked for my family. Best of luck!

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

Hello,

we have a 3 half yr old boy who has been writing letters and spelling words since he was 2 yrs old:)))which we are greatful for he is sooooo sweet,every child is different they all do there own on there time:))))
god bless:)))))

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D.A.

answers from Boston on

I have a friend who learned her letters through strawberry quick powder. She was not allowed sweats but her mom would shake some powder on a solid collered plate. Tell her daughter what letter or number to draw in the powder and if she got it right she was allowed to lick her finger! I don't know if that much(or any) sugar is good but what a great idea
D.

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Too early to be concerned. I would only praise what he is able to do so you don't stress him out so that he ends up hating it. I don't know anyone that would start a youngster writing so early. Fine motor skills aren't that well developed at such a young age. My friend had her daughter trace her finger over letters on signs on a nature walk at about that age. She'd talk about the letters and words and what they meant but didn't have her write.

Relax. He'll learn. Life isn't a competition. Enjoy it.

: ) Maureen

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

I wonder if he's ready?? He may be very bright, but really doesn't need to know how to write yet, does he? There's so many other things he can be learning that are more age appropriate...

However - and if you are continuing to read this post (:-), when we were learning to write our letters, I remember my mother writing them out with dotted lines and we'd trace them.

I'm sure we were older, but it sure helped!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

Most three year olds have a hard time forming letters. They are very young! Don't worry about it. Learning how to form letters officially happens later in kindergarten. Keep a laid back attitude. If your child is interested in learning just keep modeling for her to see and don't worry if he/she can't do it right. There's lots of time left!

My son went to Kindergarten only writing a few letters. So what! That's the school's job to help them learn. Boys especially have a hard time because it involves fine motor skills and they are better at gross (large) motor things like playing ball, etc.

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M.M.

answers from Springfield on

I had the same problem with my daughter who is now 19. I taped a paper underneath a childs' table and gave her crayons and colored pencils. She and my youngest child loved drawing and.....her lettering got better. Perhaps not having me watching over her to make sure that her letting was corrected, she somehow figured it out.

You can also pour some sand, salt, or sugar on a table and letting the child use their forefinger to draw the letters helps as well!

Good luck!

Min

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J.H.

answers from Hartford on

You can go online and find sites that have the three-lined paper to print out. Then draw the letters on the paper as dots, and have him trace them. I would do it so he would have to trace the letter ten times and then write it two or three times by himself. Even if you concentrate on one or two letters a week, do this every day for 15 minutes twice a day. By the end of each week he should be able to be down to tracing the letters two or three times, and then writing the letter five times by himself. At the end of the fifteen minutes, he would get a small reward. (Like a sticker.)
Another thing that really helped with my son, is we bought one of those easel chalkboards. I would then write the letters I wanted him to work on on the chalkboard. Then I would give him a cup of water, and he had to dip his finger in the water and trace over the letters I had written with his wet finger and "erase" them. He thought that was really neat.
Here's an example of a page with the three-lined paper that you can print out.
http://www.first-school.ws/theme/printables/writing-paper...

C.S.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't worry about it as he's only 3. He'll get it. If you want to help him though you can make work sheets. There are some sites on the computer that have free printable work sheets.

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

M.,

I think it's crayola that has round ball 'markers/pens' for little hands that are supposed to help. Also you can try getting some sugar, salt, flour or sand in a 8x8 baking pan. Make the surface smooth then help your child write the letter with his finger. This gives them the feel of the letter.

L. M

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

your 3 year old shouldn't be writing yet. IF he is writing at all that is great, he should only be scribbling still. Don't worry. If you really want to push him to write early you could et some work books so that he could practice tracing the letters and or numbers.

J.

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M.D.

answers from Providence on

your 3 year old can write letters?? amazing

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E.O.

answers from Burlington on

I have a three yr old too. I find it's fun to describe the letters like people or animals. S is a snake, obviously, and B is a lady with a big bosom and a big belly. It's helpful to break down the lettering--eg. to draw an R, to say, first make an I, then make it a P, and then have it kick its leg out.. . R
I wouldn't be concerned if he doesn't get it, though. I wouldn't push it. They all learn eventually! If you make a big deal of it, he's going to associate lettering with a bad feeling.

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