Lapband surgery...am I Putting Myself at risk..is This Fair as a Parent

Dear B.,

You are the only one who can determine if the risks are worth it for you and your family. But, I thought that I would share my husband's success story with you.
My husband has been signifcantly overweight ever since I've know him. He was considering the same surgery you are. He met with a doctor who specialize in that surgery and the doctor felt that it should only be used as a last resort. He was also told by a nutritionist that this surgery isn't always effective, and that for some people they just end up eating all day and gaining more weight. My husband was also worried about the risks, so he decided to pursue other alternatives first.
So, my husband decided to start a weight loss (not a diet!) program with the aide of a physcian and sports doctor. He has been doing a low to no carb diet since mid Dec and has lost more than 70 lbs! (I am so proud of him!) Because the high protein intake can be hard on the liver he is monitored regularly with check ups and blood tests. This will most likely be his last month on the low carb regimen. He will then slowly introduce carbs as he transitions to a healthy, low fat program. He also exercises every day. He didn't start that right away, I think it was 1-2 months into the program. He changes up his exercise pattern so that he doesn't get bored and also so his body doesn't learn to expect the same calorie burn. He has really changed his lifestyle and how he looks at food. I think that is why it is working and why he is able to stick with it.
I'm so glad that he has decided to do this; I think the birth of our daughter gave him the extra incentive to finally make the changes he needed to make.

Good luck to you!!

I commend you on looking for avenues to improve yourself, health and well being. I had suffered from an eating disorder and have been free from the obsession for about 20 years now. As a parent I believe its my responsibility to model good behavior and that includes good eating habits and exercising. I am amazed how much they pick up simply with my examples of actions. Actions speak so much louder than words. By you doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and get back good healthy living, you're kids will always be better off. They want to see you thrive, play with them and never see you suffer! From my own experience, the number on the scale was only a symptom. To truly find freedom and happiness I needed to find out the "why" and it was an inside job for me. I wish you all the best, health and happiness!!!

I have heard of what the risks are, I would check into all details and plz talk it over with you man and the dr and if you feel good about what they say then go for it,I knkow you only want the best for your child I mean you sound like a parent who wants to be around for your little child and man.God Bless

B.

B.,

I don't know where you live, or what your schedule/income are like, but I'm in the same boat as you. I currently weigh 290 (highest ever) and have considered the lapband and the gastric bypass surgery. But what I (personally) keep coming back to is, have I really, truly tried hard to lose the weight?

I've recently joined Weight Watchers (West Chester location) and am enjoying the Points program.

I also joined Curves (women-only workout center). If you haven't looked into it, it is a 30-minute circuit training workout. I'd suggest you go in for a tour...I was AMAZED. I figured, if I can suffer thru 30 min, I can do it! Your'e only on each machine for 30-40 seconds, so even the ones that are hard, are only hard for 30-40 seconds. I'm going to give it all I have and hope that I see some results. The people at curves take your measurements monthly so you can see the real results of all your work! My health insurance company even gave me a discount on the monthly fee (check into yours).

Ultimately it's your decision, of course, but just sharing what others out there are trying. I'm really feeling positive about Curves and Weight Watchers together. I'm going to do this!

Best of Luck to you,
A.

Hmmm this question is right up my ally...i didnt have the lap band i had the gastric bypass..i was over 400lbs...this was 5 years ago...i was down to my lowest 214 when i got pregnat with my son three years ago...i am back up to almost 300lbs...this is not a quick fix though i knew this i honestly feel if i wouldnt have gotten pregnat and been told to eat eat eat for the baby i might have done better at keeping the weight off...but that said i wouldnt not trade my son for anything and i wouldnt have him if i didnt have the surgery...now for part two would i encourage anyone to get it or the lapband??? NO WAY IN HADDIES!!!!! first of all i know there isnt as much risk with the lap band but knowing the problems i had and still have with dumbing and knowing what it was like in the begining i couldnt imaging going threw that with a child in my life...i dont care how old the child is...I have a friend that is going for the surgery and i have tryed talking her out of it she has a beautiful little girl and if anything happens to my friend in surgery what happens to the little girl but she doesnt want to hear any of it....try joining a gym or going to a dietition which you need to do anyway after surgery so maybe skip the surgery and try these first...i hope one day i can get back ontrack with my weight but i have come to find out the onlything that is going to get me to that point is to get my mental health undercontrol because i am a mood eatter surgery doesnt fix this and unless you can get to the root of the weight problem the surgery isnt going to help....if you have any questions or want to talk to me more on this just drop me a line and if you deside you want to go threw with it i am here for you also if you just need someone that understands...

You have to weigh, pardon the pun, the two options; either you can remain overweight and therefore be unhealthy- which puts you at a significant health risk, OR you can get the surgery, which in and of itself poses health risks. If you have been overweight for eight years, it would appear that you need some help getting started with weight loss. Do you want to be a positive role model for your daughter by showing her that health is important and that sometimes we all need help getting started on a more healthy route? It seems like a no-brainer to me.

B.,

Just like you I have thought about have the lapband surgery because I have been overweight since I was a teen. Also Like you, I am almost 300lbs. I tried other things to lose the weight but I can't keep at it. The smallest I have every been was an 18 and I worked at a fitness club at the time and worked out all the time. And the reason I went from a size 18 to 24 was the weight I had left on after my kids.

The reason I want the surgery is because I need to change my habits. I not the type of person who changes them unless I am forced too. I figured that with the surgery I would have too.

Anything can be a risk. But you have to do what you feel is right. You take a risk with the surgery and you are taking a risk by not. Talk to people who have had the surgery. See how they feel afterwards. I have seen the difference with some friends who have had the bypass. That is what has really gotten me to want to do the lapband. The reason I am choosing the lapband is because I don't want anyone messing with my internal organs.

You didn't mention how old your daughter is. If she is old enought to understand then tell her the truth. This will help you lose weight so you health will be better. Explain to her that this is not an image thing but you do feel sexy as a large woman but for health reason you need help losing the weight. You would be amazed what kids understand. It would be more than fair to your daughter because she will see you as taking care of your health and not your body image.

So go and talk to your doctor. See if you are able to get the lapband. Research having the surgery. And then make a decision.

I want to wish you all the best

A.

B. NO you are not being unfair to your child. It is the most fair thing you can do for her. She will need you in the future and at you current helth it is possible you won't be. I am sure she will appreciate having you there on her wedding day and remember it forever. However I don't think she'll remember forever that mom was sick for a while. I still have my own mom because she made a similar choice to live. Yes it was a proccess but like i said I still have my mom.

I too am heavy, was heavier about 3 years ago. I joined Curves, and while I was not able to commit as much as I wanted to in the beginning because of my job, I have started going 3 to 4 times a week, completly changing my eating habits. Last month I lost 3 pounds and 3 1/2 punds of body fat, this month so far I have lost 4 pounds! It's a slow process, but I feel so happy about myself, well on my way to reaching my goal of losing 100 pounds. I don't know how much a lapband surgery costs, but might I recommend trying Curves first? It may be cheaper and healthier. The ladies at Curves are amazing and a great support, I never feel like I am being judged. Working out is an amazing feeling, so much so that I have started going for walks on my my lunch break with a co-worker.

Ultimatly, no one can make your decision for you, you must decided. My friend got this lapband and she is losing weight really fast, and fast is not always good, your body doesn't have time to respond or shrink back....you will be left with sagging skin and have to possibly go for more surgery to correct that.

Good luck....I hope the best and that you find what makes you happy.

My friend had the surgery, I think about 18 months ago now. She has two kids. I don't think she's on Mamasource, or I'd have her respond. But I just saw her Sat night and she looks and feels great. I know it's a huge decision, and I don't have any real personal experience with it, but wanted to let you know that my friend has said that she has no regrets and is really happy. Good luck.

I wanted to let you know, there is a cleansing fat-burning system that would help with your weight loss called Isagenix. It is organic and non-evasive cleansing to rid you of toxins- gives you energy, better coping skills, and alot of other great benefits.

The website is www.danablazo.isagenix.com
Click on the videos and check out all the programs.

Send me an email after you check out the site. I would love to talk to you.

sincerely
D.

I wish you would consider some other method of losing weight. The lap band is not a cure all. You have to be mentaly ready for this procedure. I know of two women that had the surgery. Yes they did lose the weight, but in a few years put a lot of the weight back on. Do you like to throw up. Believe me you do this alot when you over eat. My brother had this surgery and wll he has had are health problems. It is a decision that you should really give some great thought to.

If other methods have not helped you lose the weight, I think that you would be making a good decision by getting the surgery.

I think that at the same time that the surgery has risk, not having the surgery has risks too--heart disease, heart attack, high cholesterol, and many other health problems associated with being overweight.

I think that by getting the surgery to aid with your weight loss, you are making a good decision as a mother--you are showing your child that you want to be with them and you want to be an active part of their life.

Just keep in mind the risks either way...and good for you for trying to do something about it!
~me

My advice to you. DON'T DO IT!!!! If you put your mind to it you can loose that weight naturally and the healthy way. I lost 40 pounds over the past 1 1/2 years and managed to put some weight back on because of a recent hysterectomy. I am back on the wagon and working very hard to loose some weight. Please speak with your dr about a healthy diet and exercise program. You will need to know exactly how many calories to consume and walking is the best form of exercise to start out. Take short walks and increase your time as you feel stronger. You can do this for you and your family.

Hi B., I see that you have had a lot of mixed responses to your post. And the ones that have said that this is a decision you have to make for yourself are correct. I've been heavy since I was about 11 - hit puberty and started gaining weight. I was about 220 in high school, then gained 65 pounds with my son and didn't drop any of it. When I got pregnant with my daughter, my weight was all over the place - I lost about 60 pounds in the first 7 months then gained it all back as water weight. When she was born, I had lost a total of about 35 pounds - then gained it all back due to post-partum depression and chocolate! ;)

I've tried everything - weight watchers, LA Weightloss, the South Beach diet, Curves, joining the gym and having a personal trainer - none of it has worked for me.

I had thought about the gastric bypass, but decided it was too drastic for me because I don't have diabetes, apnea, or any of the other co-morbidities that go along with obesity - I'm just fat. So, my surgeon and I decided together that the lap band would be the right procedure for me.

My children are 8 and 10 and they can't wait for me to have it done. They want a "skinny mommy". While I don't intend on being a size 2, I would like to be able to shop at Victoria's Secret!

My husband is also very supportive of my decision and will help in any way he can. A support system is just as important as your actual decision. I go to be banded on May 12th and I can't wait.

If you want to talk to other people who have had the procedure done, I belong to another website called sparkpeople (just put the www before and the .com after). They can tell you all about their journeys. And other people are right - it will still be a slow process - but I'd rather lose the weight slowly, than have 50 pounds of excess skin hanging on my body that I'd have to go back to have removed.

I know pretty much how the whole process works if you'd like to know more about it, just shoot me an email.

Hi. I don't usually respond to these postings but I just had to tell you my story. I am a 43 year old mother of a beautiful 10 year old daughter. 3+ years ago I had gastric bypass surgery and it was the best decision that I have ever made. I have been overweight my entire life and I was tipping the scales at over 300 when I had my surgery. I have lost 120 pounds to date and my surgeon feels that I would do better but I work night shift and my sleep habits are horrid. I had high blood pressure and had to sleep on a bypap because of sleep apnea. This surgery gave me my life back. Even though food is still a constant struggle with me I now have a tool to work with that really helps keep me in control. What ever you decide, I wish you all the best. May God bless you.
K. B

whether you do the lapband surgery or gastric bypass you will be sore. after any surgery you will need some time to heal. it sounds like you have a good partner to help you with your daughter. in the long run it will be a lot better for your health and you will be able to be more physically active. It sounds like you want to do this but need that final push to do it. why not do it now and probably by the middle of the summer some of your weight will have gone down and you will be able to do more things with your daughter.

I empathize with your difficult decision. I think that being more active will help you be a btter parent so that is a positive. If it was for purely cosmetic reasons, than the reality of risking your life may not befair to your children, but I don't think that is your motive. Psychologically, get support. Nothing is a miracle and there could be some other expectations that you won't obtain with the surgury.
I wish you luck no matter what decision you make.

look at everything and go through a full physical and rule out all health problems or causes.

Then check family history and what got you overweight.

If psychological, find out why first.

With any surgery you still will need to find time to exercise daily and you will be laid up for a couple of weeks. What does your partner think?

Health risks both ways. Don't know how young you are, but neither has a guarantee.

sometimes too much focusing on it causes even more stress. so take time, plenty of it at least a year or 2 before deciding to do it and don't think that will stop you from eating, You have to do that from within.

Hi B....before you decide on surgery get a good, complete physical and blood work up. Ask your doctor to check for diabetes and thyroid problems. You might be surprised. I have been struggling with continued weight gain for the past 8 years myself...and only recently found out that I am diabetic and I have an underactive thyroid. As bad as that sounds it was such a relief to know that it wasn't just me!! That there were real medical problems that explianed all the vague symptoms I have been feeling for years. As well as my inability to loose weight. Until now all my yearly blood work has come back "boarder line" and my GP didn't feel that it needed to be treated, just monitored. But for some people "boarder line" is enough (like me). I now have an agressive great doctor at the Joslin Center, and two pairs of jeans that I squeezed into last summer are almost too big to wear!! For some people surgery is the answer, but you should make sure that you rule out any medical reasons first.

As far as it being fair as a parent...what parent doesn't want to get down on the floor and play with their children? What parent doesn't want to go to the park, throw a ball, hop scotch, ride a bike or run around with their children? Is wanting to be healthy, happy and mobile being unfair? Or are you being unfair to your children by cutting your life short by being an unhealthy weight? As well as unhappy? You have to care for yourself to care for your children. That is one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn. I hope you find the right answer for you and your family. Good luck and Best wishes!!

Hi B.,

I have been overweight my entire life and have weighed 300 lbs. for more than 10 years. However, my weight is due to more than just food and lack of exercise (there are biological issues). Since I am healthy, because I do take care of myself, there has not been a real reason to rush into any type of surgery. However, if I did have any health issues, I would certainly look into it.

There was a time, around 13 years ago, when I was very unhealthy because of my food choices and a doctor did recommend the gastric bypass to me. However, since I knew nothing about it and was afraid of the risks, I did not go through with it and decided to change my eating habits and start exercising more regularly. I am very glad I didn't do it because I just was not ready. And my changes in food choices have stayed with me and even improved over the years. I also do some type of exercise on a daily basis (I alternate between my bike, my treadmill, and Yoga).

It is a life-changing decision to have this type of surgery. Please make sure you get some type of professional help with making this decision and making sure you fully understand the risks and changes you must make. If you are not ready to make the changes in your eating and exercise habits, NO surgery will be successful.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Hi B.. You didn't go into much detail as far as which weight loss methods you've tried over the years, but I would save any type of surgery for a last ditch, doctor says have this or you'll die, effort. Any surgery carries some risk of danger, but I don't hear good things about this or the gastric bypass (I work in a hospital). A few years ago I joined Weight Watchers, and that has been the best because it taught me how to eat. I eat chocolate every day, only now I just eat a little bit. Occasionally I have a Big Mac and fries, sometimes I have a milkshake. I learned the basic edict, "Eat less, move more". It has been slow, but I rarely feel deprived or too tired to do some sort of exercise, even for 10 minutes. Good luck.

I would not recommend surgery until you have tried all other options. There are risks with any surgery as you know. I have been overweight most of my adult life. I am currently doing medifast and have lost 33 pounds since January 22. My goal is to lose a total of 80 pounds. There are about 5 of us in my office doing this program and it is working for all us -would love to give you the info is you are interested.

hi B.,

My friend just had the lapband surgery within the past 5 months ans she tells me that she should have gotten the gastric bypass. She said that she thought she would not feel as hungry becuase of the smaller stomach area, but that is not the case. She still feels very hungry, and she realizes that she is more of a sweet eater than she thought. Apparantly, it is not the way to go if you are a sweet eater because sweets, like ice cream go right pass the band easily. the other problem she had was that whwn she went in for the surgery they found that she had a hiatal hernia which gave her a longer recovery, although i think a blessing in disguise b/c she suffered from reflux really bad before and now not so much. Anyway, it is truly a personal decision and definitly consult with your doctor to see what is best for you. By the way, she has a son and she lost 20? pounds so far and is feeling more energy to play with her son ...so you have to think long term what is good for you. good luckk and i wish you much happiness. L.

My sister had her stomach stapled. She lost weight but slowly its coming back. Why put yourself through all that, then have to live that way for the rest of your life? I HIGHLY recommend nutrisystem! You can still eat & the weight falls off! Check into jenny craig, weight watchers. Its such a better way of life eating healthy vs not eating at all! Good luck to you! I'm in robinson and just joined a gym if want to work out!

hi B.,
i wish i had this much feedback before this past newyears eve(the day i had my lapband done. but i researched and went on to get it done anyway. i decided on the bariatric clinic in langehorn pa. 1st there is a process you go through before you can have the surgery and by the time i completed and was approved i was more sure about all it intailed.
it was back the 1st weekend of december 2007 (when my defining moment happened).you see i was in a accident @5yrs ago(my right foot was shattered)after 2 surgerys,physical therapy, and being laid up alot i put on alot of weight.
at weight watchers i got down to 123lbs just one year before the accident.
nothing i tried stopped the weight going to over 230lbs.
and i still would have maybe tried other things before getting the surgery .for all the reason that were given for not having it.
but on that 1st weekend of dec. i had gone to n.y city to see the tree and the movie inchanted with my family. it was alot of walking so i stayed back to sit while they went to see the tree after the movie. my cell rang (they said they were downstairs waiting they had just got back.)
well my oldest daughter stayed back thank god. we headed to the eaculater. which had stopped for some reason . i took one step and my ankle just went like rubber down i went i hit on my right side. my daughter grabbed my hood and held on while to men jumped over from the up ramp to break my fall.
(that was it) after the pain and embarresment and then depression of being layed up agian i knew exactly what i would do.
this story continues on but the best i could share is to reasearch, weigh all your health issues, the quality of your present life ,your age, and the benifts for you and your family as well as yourself.
for me i can honestly say it has been the best thing i could have chosen to do.
good luck and feel free to contact me with questions or more about my journey.
with love C.

I also gained alot of weight during pregnancy, I started at 200lbs and now (daugter is 8 months old) I am at 300 lbs. My doctor wanted me to look into gastric bypass and the lapband and that scared me. So about 2-3 weeks ago i started a new diet and have lost 11 lbs. I dont think surgey is the right path for anyone. If you want more info on the diet I'm willing to give it.

While the decision to have this surgery is personal, I can tell you that I share your concerns. If I didn't have kids there are many decisions that would be easier to make.

Have you considered working with a nutritionist, personal trainer or talking to you doctor about taking Alli? Those are my next options if my current plan doesn't work out. I, too, am overweight and need to lose about 80 pounds to get to my ideal weight (according to the charts). I've recently had a physical and all indications are that I am currently in good health otherwise. I am hoping that my desire to not jeopardize that will keep me motivated to change to a more healthy lifestyle. I just joined Weight Watchers, I've been collecting healthy recipes, and now that the weather is nice I'm working more in the yard and running around with the kids. If you don't have the energy for that, maybe a walking program would work for you. A professional could give you better/safer info that I can but I've read that even starting out with a 10 minute walk 3 days a week for a week or two is a good way to start. You slowly build up from there.

One other thought I have is have you looked into food allergies? A woman I knew several years ago had lost 60 or 70 pounds after she was diagnosed with a food allergy (diary, I think). I'm sure along with cutting out the offending food that she made other changes as well. So, while I'm not suggesting that omitting a food you might be allergic to will change everything, it may help. Just a thought.

Good luck with your decision and you efforts to lose weight.