Kpotty Training

I did Lori Jensens '3 Day potty training' program. It worked for both my kids (pee/poo) in 2 days!! The only thing I didn't do or enforce was nighttime training... In my opinion, that just comes w/time (some sooner than others). It has also worked for all my friends. You can buy her Ebook online. Good luck!!

Well, my primary impression of your whole experience is that you decided when your daughter should be trained and have been way too urgent and insistent about the whole thing, F.. Your approach was how it was done when I was a baby, and I have several friends in my 60+ age group who grew up with unhealthy issues around elimination, authority, responsibility and/or hygiene – and a couple of them have been in expensive counseling for years.

So that system was one that harmed at least some children. I suspect, from your description, that entirely too much focus and effort and struggle and time is being spent on getting your daughter trained. This is turning it into a battle, instead of a great adventure that she'll be able to take pride in. She's only 2.5, and will still be experiencing tremendous change and development, emotionally and physically, over the next months and years. She may simply not be ready yet.

There are a number of different training approaches/ages, any of which may be more appropriate for different mothers and different children. And both physical and emotional readiness is essential for the MOST common approach used today in this culture. Read about just about any potty training question in admirable detail at http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html. It's a really helpful resource!

I suggest her body isn't mature enough to be trained. Wait until she shows an interest. by forcing her to do this now you're most likely setting a negative atmosphere which will hinder her getting trained when she is ready.

Later: I reread your post. Are you saying she is potty trained but only when she's naked? So your question is how to get her to wear panties?

I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I think she should go underwear-free if she really wants to. You got what you wanted, right? A potty trained child? Let her have something she thinks is important. In your post, you indicated that she embraced using the potty WHEN YOU RELAXED ABOUT IT. What do you think will happen if you relax about this? If she doesn't have anything to push back against, and the underwear is in the drawer, she'll put it on when she's ready.

This is my pet peeve about bottomless training, and if I ever potty train another child i will not have them go naked for longer than a day, once they know they're not clothed so they can sit on the potty it's on with the training pants or panties. I should have gone with what worked with my first two, training pants from the get-go :-/

This is what I did, put some loose fitting shorts on her, no undies, just to get her to put something on and so you can demonstrate how to pull them down and back up again, and show her by example when YOU go to the bathroom. As with potty training you may have to keep doing this repeatedly until she "gets" it. Start by saying "We need to put these on so we can go outside," and get them on her, even if she struggles and resists (he did) and go outside. You can take a little walk or just play a few moments, the point is to introduce her to wearing something. If there's something she wants to do outside or somewhere she wants to go that's a great incentive ~ "We have to put our pants on first or we can't go to the park" (or wherever.) Start lengthening the time you spend outside or go somewhere and at some point introduce the underwear under them. Don't dwell on the fact they're panties, say, "Oh, we forgot to put these on first" and move fast. When he screamed "No, I go potty!" I told him we were taking the potty with us and we did.

Basically just be consistent in your efforts and matter-of-fact and you'll get her in panties. Once she's happy (or at least not fighting wearing them) take her to the store to pick out a package she likes. We had to go with two, Thomas & Friends and Toy Story as he couldn't make up his mind, but that's OK, he wears them, yaaaaay!!

She is simply not ready, for underwear.
Nor does she have 100% fully developed impulse control, with her body.

She is still at the naked on the bottom stage.

She is still not a rocket scientist about it.

Don't rush it.

And certainly, she is not at the stage of going out, with underwear.

These things comes in stages. Per the physiological cues, and development, of the child.

My son was like that.
Only he began the process at 3. On his own. Naked at the bottom. At home. Then one day, he was ready for underwear. At home. We took it in stages. Then one day he was ready for going out, with underwear, versus with a diaper. And we'd take SHORT outings. And it all occurred without battles.
It all goes in stages. Per the child's physiological ability and organ development.

First is: getting competence about it at home. Then, getting ability over their bladder outside the home.
Then, night time dryness is a whole other stage. Night time dryness is not the same as daytime pottying. Night time dryness, is something that occurs, physiologically, even until 7 years old.

And.... you have only been doing it for the past 2 weeks or so.
That is NOT, long.
Not long at all.

I would just use natural consequences for this. Such as saying would you like to play outside? Go to the park? The zoo? Library? etc. etc.. I am sure she wants to leave the house occasionally, so when she says yes I want to go to such and such place, you say you have to put on underwear and keep them on or we can't go. Sooner or later she will decide underwear is a fair trade off! At any rate, just keep playing it cool and be patient with her. All of it has to click with her on her own terms. Good luck!
A.

This is funny because my daughter is doing the same thing. She's totally fine without underwear but as soon as I put them on her she goes in them. When she is underwear free she can hold it and then go on her own. She sounds like she's doing pretty awesome and high five to you for all the time and energy you've been putting into it. Yours is probably just like mine, she's been very ready but stubborn about it. She had to figure it out and do it on her own. The more I pushed her to go in there the more resistant she got so of course like you the second I let go she shocked me and did it on her own. I heard that silky underwear feel different on they're skin and gives them more of a naked feel, I have no idea where to buy silky toddler undies but hey it's worth a try to find them. Good luck and congrats to her for being a big girl!!

have u tried getting har a pair of underwear that look like a pair u have for yourself.. and sit her down and explain to her this is not a diaper its big girl underwear see its just like mommys its only for big girls that go to the potty and dont go in their pants

I think you started potty training too early; ideally it should be carried out without fighting, cajoling, tears. If we wait until the child is ready, it can be achieved quickly, with few accidents. It sounds, indeed she is almost trained, but with a mighty hurdle to overcome, since she can't go out of the house naked. You may have to return to pull-ups, and to try again in six months.

A little about me; A married child psychiatrist in practice 19 years, mother of a 21 year old boy and a 15 year old girl, both successfully potty trained
before kindergarten - the girl much earlier.

Either just stay home for a few days, or put a skirt on her with no underwear if you must go out. Relax and she will get past this stage.

Let her pick some thing that she likes and tell her it's her big girl underwear and then she will like it better maybe. As soon as you can I would get the potty in the bathroom where she will be going in the future. She can use it in there fine too. Less of a mess and teaches them to get to that room or else you have to teach that too later. You know she can go now and knows what to do so most of the battle is over. Just get the underwear on her and you may be done.

have you heard of a video called "potty power"? completely cheesy video but kids love it and theres a section in there where the kids are prancing around in their underwears singing "I'm proud to wear my underwear!" it always makes my 2.5 year old want to show me his underwear b/c he's big just like the kids on the TV. that might help! and you explaining to her that big girls wear underwear. you can even show her YOUR underwear and say "see? even mommy wears underwear!"

good luck!

I was going to suggest showing her your underwear and explaining that everyone wears them and then just let her go without until she's ready but in reading your SWH it appears those suggestions were already made.

Good job with the potty training. Some people, especially independent, determined people like your DD need to think that things are THEIR idea and that they are doing something because THEY want to, not because they're told to. Keep this in mind as she grows up. All you need do is plant the seed - she will water and grow it herself!