Kindergarten Readiness

Have you considered homeschooling him until you feel he is ready for public school. I personaly would put him in school and if it seams he is suffering take him home and home school him. He shouldn't have to be held back academicly if you don't think he is ready emotionaly. But he may do just fine. Good luck. ~V.

I would hold off on Kindergarten or even homeschool him for Kindergarten if he wears his heart on his sleeve. My son was very much the same way and did not do well.

ok I have a 5 yr old that is in Kindergarten now.. She is very emotional.. She starts cryin bad if one of her friends leaves to go to the store or something.. But shes doing great in school.. She was very very shy in the beginning of Kindergarten.. Wouldnt talk to the other kids.. wouldnt get involved.. Now the teacher cant get her to stop talkin.. my daughter never went to Preschool.. She just went to a pre k readiness camp for 1 month and she did really good in that...

My personal opinion is to keep your child with children his own age so that he can learn from their modeled behaviours. My son is almost 4 and in a special Kindergarten class (for speech therapy) and has matured a great deal since he started the class in September 2006. Not only is he speaking more, he also is more empathetic, kind, and outgoing socially. He is the youngest in his class, but he has learned so much by watching the other children in his class. Kindergarten is much more structured than preschool and the teachers are usually more responsive (because they are teaching not watching children). Good luck and I wish you well in which ever path you choose for your son!

Dear Stacy,

I highly recommend that you keep him in preschool for one more year. I am 76 years old now, and believe that one of the worst mistakes in my life was to send my highly intelligent son to Kindergarten when he was five. I think back now over his life and so many things could have turned out differently if he were emotionally more mature. We had a friend who chose to hold their son back one year from Kindergarten, and his life was more successful. I feel like I let my son down by sending him out into the world too soon. C. N.

Hi! I am a mother of three boys 7, 5, and 3. I am also a teacher who has worked with almost all grade levels through 5th grade. I was having this discussion with my sister whose son is 3 months older than my 5 year old and could have been a young kindergartener. If your son is young and you feel that your son is academically ready for school but may not be emotionally ready then you might consider waiting. Most Kinder teachers I know will not hesitate to tell you that your son is too young and not be ready for 1st grade and would suggest that you hold him back. Most kids that I worked with that were in the upper grades and had to repeat Kinder had trouble with their self esteem. They'd say, "Yeah, I was so dumb that I had to repeat Kinder." But holding on another year is not as bad. I was an older kid in my classes (my birthday is in the middle of December) and I never felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. You know your kid the best and as long as you continue to support and keep abreast of what is happening at school there will probably be no problems if you choose to enroll your son. Good luck!!

Hi Stacy,
Speaking from a teacher's perspective, I say that if you have any concerns, doubts etc. Hold him out one more year. You'd just be giving him another year of growth and development. Giving him this extra year helps tremendously throughout all years of schooling, not just kindergarten. I currently have 7 students in my second grade class who were 4 in the fall of their kindergarten year. If you spent 10 minutes in my class, you'd be able to point out at least five of them...three years later. Good luck!

My daughter was very similar to your son. We chose to place her in the preppy-k class rather than kindergarten and It was one of the best decision we could have made. If you are familiar with the kindergarten programs than you know how demanding it is for them. It would have totally stressed my girl out and caused so much emotional damage. She has shown so much more independence and self-confidence in this program. She has been allowed to progress at a more developmentally appropriatelevel. Not many 5-year olds are ready to deal with the pressure of academic standards in our schools. The Waldorf school in Costa Mesa has an amazing program. With 3 kids we were not able to make it work for us,but it is fantastic if it fits your family.

Hi Stacy,
This is the first time I have ever responded to a request, but I feel so strongly about this issue I think my experience could help. First of all, my advice is to give him an extra year. I'm not sure how old you are but I know from my own school experience that the system has really changed dramatically. Teachers are under alot of pressure to present the curriculum to your child exactly how the state specifies. What this translates to is stress on the teacher and the student to perform. My first son (who is now 9) has a late September birthday but we thought he would do fine since he knew most of the basics for kindergarten i.e letters, sounds, he could write his name, etc. And the truth is that he did do fine - academically. Emotionally there were signs that he was somewhat less mature than the other kids but it didn't seem to hinder him in the classroom. Long story short, being somewhat immature in Kinderg. turned into a little more immature in 1st grade, noticeably different in 2nd grade, and finally in 3rd grade my son was coming home saying that he had no friends. I really believe that what it comes down to in the end is confidence. Being 6 mos. to almost a year younger than most of the other boys meant for him that he wasn't as physically astout, he didn't communicate on the same level, and his interests were a little different. In reaction to what was going on in school I made an executive "mom decision" and took all of my children out of school to begin teaching them at home. I found a really good charter school that provided me with everything I could have possibly needed to teach the curriculum. One unexpected surprise which I discovered was that the state provided me the funds which would have normally gone to a public school. With that money we purchased memberships to the zoo, Seaworld, etc. My daughter did horseback riding, and my son started Tae Kwon Do. In the end I was able to reconnect with my kids on a level that I had when they were babies/toddlers. Over the summer we moved to a new school district and put the kids back into public school. They are repeating their respective grades again for the sake of continuity between their ages. My youngest who is now 5 is being taught kindergarten at home with the intention that he will go to kindergarten at our neighborhood school next September. I feel like we made a mistake by putting the older kids in school too soon but we corrected the mistake before they got too old to really feel unsuccessful. Bottom line is that I don't believe it can do any damage to give your son more time to grow and learn before the pressures of school take over. Hope this helped. - R. www.myspace.com/rhiannon62

Hi Stacy,
I went through the same dilemma with my son. He would've turned 5 a month after school started. We chose to keep him in preschool for an extra year. He was very much like how your son sounds as far as personality-wise. We felt like he has so many years of school ahead of him, why not give him one more year to make sure he's ready academically and emotionally. Starting out with a good experience can make a world of difference for the rest of his entire school career. For us it worked out great, he's 15 now and does extremely well in school, it was definitely the right choice. I'd say go with your gut, trust your parental instincts! Good Luck! Let us know how it goes!

I had the same problem with my son who was 4 1/2 when he was scheduled to go to kindergarten. He is extremely smart so I opted for kindergarten. He did o.k. but when he was suppose to go to a full day schedule for 1st grade I knew by then he could not handle it emotionally. I asked the pricipal to have him stay one more year in kindergarten. Now he is 12 and I am so glad that I held him back. He is a straight A student and the larger boy in the class instead of the smallest. Academics are very challenging today and he has an advantage of being one of the oldest in the class and not the youngest. It also helps with sports, judgement and other things. I would have kept him in preschool another year if I had known then what I know now. He will also be more mature when entering college--something I am thankful for.

I would just like to tell you my experience with my son. My son turned five on November 28th which would meant he barely met the deadline to being able to start kindergarten. He started when he was four years old. My son had a hard time his first year of school. I asked if we should hold him back a year and I was told that it wasn't good to keep your child back. So I continued by having him go into 1st grade. My son who now is in 11th grade still struggles. I feel so guilty for having him start school to early. I think for my son he was not academically or emotionally ready. I know some people say boys mature slower that girls. I just have one boy, but I do think this is true. In my opinion I would say keep him in preschool another year. It is better that when he does start kindergarten in another year that he would be even more academically ready then to start him and have him not have been ready. He will be more confident in himself. Like I say to this day my son struggles I wish I would have waited.

Hi Stacy,

My son will be 5 in October, and after much consideration, we've decided to have him do a year of Pre-K instead of starting Kindergarten right away. My son is not ready either, although he's not ready academically. He has a really hard time with fine motor skills. My husband is an educator and he told me that we really had to go with our gut on this one. Many children are held back in Kindergarten, and we figured we'd rather give him another year and have a better chance in Kinder. I think whatever you choose will be the right decision as long as you stay in contact with his teachers and make sure he's getting what he needs. i just wanted to you know that it is definitely ok to wait a year if you really think that's what he needs. Good luck!!!

Well Stacy, I am also a mother of a child who wears his heart on his sleeve.My son also had a hard time talking so that too made it hard on him,but when he started going to school I was worried that he would get frustrated and cry but he had very few episodes where he would get very sensitive. But the teacher was very understanding to him when I explained to her about his sensitivity.He has since grew out of alot of it ,he still is sensitive but he is excellent in school ,he is now in the first grade and he does very well,both academically and socialy so I think that it would not be in his best interest to miss out on a truly wonderful experience.

I was worried about my son too when I wanted to put him in kindergarten. Believe it or not he did fantastic. I was so worried that he would be crying all the time but he amazed me. I was told that sometimes when they get in a new environment, they act completely different. Now my daughter is going to be entering kindergarten in the fall and I am worried about her attitude. She is our lil diva. But they school assured me she will be just fine. I would go an talk with the school and let them know what is going on and ask them to give you a tour of the school. That way your son may feel a bit more comfortable seeing it first hand.

I don't know what the developmental differences are between boys and girls, but I know what my own experience has been. I could read at age 4 and the cutoff in Maryland where I started first grade was December 31st. I started grade 1 at 5 years old. By the time I was in 4th grade, my parents were concerned about my ability to handle things emotionally. They wanted to hold me back. I felt like this was an indictment of my intelligence, and it really damaged my self-esteem. I was doing well academically. I graduated highschool at 17 and started college that year. My first semester freshman year of college I failed nearly all of my classes. This was the wakeup call that I needed, and I graduated in four years from that college with a bachelor of science cum laude.

I also have two sisters that were September birthdays, we were living in a state that had a September 1st cutoff when they started school so they were the oldest in their class later when we moved back to Maryland. Both of them are a lot more well-adjusted emotionally, and seem to make more independent decisions at earlier ages than I did. This may just be personality, but I think holding a child back if you have any doubts BEFORE they begin school is a lot easier than trying to correct the decision later. On you and the child. It won't hurt your child to hold him back, and you can make sure he gets lots of enrichment activities to ensure that he isn't bored. I know that my aptitude made my parents worried that I would be bored if they held me back. But, if he needs to skip a grade later, that's a self-esteem boost for him, instead of something that would traumatize him.

Stacy,

I am a kindergarten teacher with 20 years experience. This question comes up often when parents of children born in the late summer or fall are about to enter kindergarten. My experience has taught me that usually a parents' gut instincts are what is best for their child. As an educator who has seen it all, my usual advice is to keep your child in preschool for another year. There is not other period in your life when you can give him the gift of time. You also want to consider what his maturity level will be in the future, when he is only sixteen, looking a colleges, driving, dating! Talk to your local kindergarten teachers too. They will be able to tell you what trend is current for boys entering kindergarten in the school he will be attending. Not to speak badly of preschool teachers, but some are not aware of the demands made on kindergarteners today.

Please feel free to contact me.

Best,
J. Bosque
____@____.com

Hi Stacy,
I taught Kindergarten for 4 years and am now home with my 9 month old son. Your question is a great one and you would be surprised to know that a lot of parents ask this same thing especially with boys. I have seen both sides - boys starting Kindergarten "early" when they weren't ready socially but more so emotionally. It is a little more rough and sometimes they end up repeating Kindergarten which isn't bad. I have also seen the great benefits of waiting another year. You know your child best. Another year of maturing in preschool might fit his personality and development best. But whatever choice you make will be best for your son and family. Good Luck

How funny, I was just talking about this to some of my friends at work at lunch. When the time comes, my kids have birthdays in June & August, should I wait until they are 6 before putting them in K? They all said to wait until they are 6! Some waited and some didn't and they all agreed that it isn't necessarily Kindergarten that they have troubles in, but once they get to 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade that they start falling behind. All four of my friends either waited and their kids excelled or they didn't wait and their kids are struggling....
Hope this helps!

Hi Stacy,
I don't know if you are interested in yet another comment or not. I wanted to share that your son's temperament sounds a lot like mine. My son turned 5 in June, 07. When he tested for Kindergarten the teacher strongly felt because he was so ready academically there was no advantage to holding back another year. In addition from her conversation with him she could tell he was very board with preschool. My hesitation with him starting was his emotional development as well. He is overly sensitive and expresses his hurt feeling, angry quite openly. My husband and I have been working with him as well. You could imagine how I felt when I recieved a note from his teacher requesting to speak to us regarding his response to situation. Her word were his reaction seem incongruent to the situation. When we spoke she just wanted to assess if this was normal behavior or just at school. She assured me that it was nothing terrifying or that she couldn't handle. She just want to know how we dealt with it at home so she could reinforce it. So I shared how we handled it and she shared how she handled. We have been reinforcing some of her methods as she has ours. She keeps me updated often, letting me know is improving. We can see an improvement at home as well. I think he has shown more improvement since Kindergarten than he had otherwise.

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

I am a mother of 7 yr old triplets and we lived in corona and i sent my children to k at 5 yrs old. When they reached 2nd grade i saw that they were very immature and was worried about it. They were academically fine its just that they seemed so young in the class and it took alot longer to pick things up. Most of the kids were already turning 8 or were already 8.
We were so lucky that my husbands company moved and we came here to santa barbara and now i had the chance to hold my kids back and put them back into first....It was the best decision i ever made...THey have more self confidence and i see them becoming stronger people for it....

Good luck at your decision, but i say let him wait 1 more yr. Its only going to help him. Moms know what is best and if you think it might be best then i would do it.

By the way they say boys are slower then girls and it would help to hold them back 1 yr. I have 1 boy 2 girls and i do see a difference in my son.

Again good luck,

Dee

Hey Stacy -

This is a tough one for sure. I have two boys - one was born in May and the other in September. I remember having the same concerns with my September son for many of the same reasons. However, he has done a fabulous job acclimating to school, its rules, and the other kids. (He is now in 1st grade). So somehow the structure of school actually helped him.

However, my May son has struggled academically since the beginning (he is now in 6th grade). He is much more sensitive and notices when people are upset, etc. I have been struggling with teachers all these years about holding him back, which they never seem to want to do - and therefore he is still struggling. He is NO WAY ready emotionally (or academically) for Junior High next year. I wish I had not started him in kindergarten until he was a year older.

On a side note, my birthday is in December and I missed the cut off by 3 days, so I started school when I was nearly 6. This was never a problem for me - in fact, in HS I thought it was awesome that I was one of the oldest kids there.

I know I really didn't answer your question, but I hope my post helps you a little.

My son turned 5 in August last year. We decided to keep him in pre-school one year. I think he will be ready for kindergarden this year. He seems to be more sure of him self now that he's had another year of pre-school. This past year I think what made the real difference was he was the oldest instead of the youngest. He gets to help out a lot more and socially he uses his words more to express himself.

My daughters started kindergarten this year. They are 8 and 9 months older than he is. Their communication skills were much more advanced than his. He has defiantly caught up now.

I believe that keeping him back a year for my son was the best choice we could have made for him.

Hello Stacy, I too was faced with the dilemma of a child who was 5 and not ready for kindergarten. I put my child into Kindergarten (this was 13yrs ago) and they told me he was not ready for kindergarten and suggested either waiting another year or putting him in a pre-k or preschool class for another year. He was an extremely shy boy, but he was also not academically as advanced as they wanted him to be. To start kindergarten then, they wanted him to know his ABC's and to count to 10, to be able to write his own name, be able to skip and other things that are escaping me right now. Basically, they wanted him at a level that I just did not know he needed to be at. When I was in kindergarten, that was where we learned those things. Anyways, I think that if you have any reservations about starting him off now, then holding back a year would probably do him a world of good. To have to be able to jump right into academics as well as deal with the entire social aspect of it all, I think waiting a year would probably give your child an advantage for when he starts next year. I think it depends on each child (and they are all different). I now have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and when it comes time to decide, each will be judged by their individual maturity level.

I think by questioning yourself on putting your child into Kindergarten now, you have already shown what your gut feeling for your child is... Only a mother & father could know what is best for their child. Best Wishes! D....

Hi Stacy,

My son's birthday is also in August and I had placed him in kindergarten when he was 5 since he had gone to pre-school. Academically my son was fine (he was at grade level on his report cards)he was able to do what his peers were doing but socially he stuck out and wasn't at the same level by the end of the year. I spoke with the teacher and she said it was my choice. I had recently done my student teaching experience in a 1st grade classroom so I was aware of the expectations for my son in the coming year and knew that he would struggle. So I decided to hold him back this year (he is repeating kindergarten) I told him he is going to be an "expert kindergartner) and his new teacher agrees that this was an excellent decision because he fits in perfectly this year in all aspects. Before I made the decision I also spoke with my step mom because my brother (also born late August) went into kindergarten when he was 5 and she says he struggles every year, but that in her district she didn't have a choice but she would have held him back another year had she had the option.

You want to make your sons educational experience a positive one where he can experience success!!!! School should consist of challenges and not frustrations. Good luck in your decision.
~L.~