Should I Send Her to Kindergarten?

My brother was held back and my mother said someone had asked her when he was five, would you like him to be the last one to drive or the first?
Gives dad something to think about as he won't always be able to drive his little girl around.

My oldest is an August baby as well as my husband. Even though my son is just 2 we have decided that we are going to hold him back. We would much rather have him ahead of the class than aways struggling behind.

My son made the deadline by 3 weeks. We wanted to send him cause all his friends were going and we felt badly. His preschool teacher thought we should start him the following year but we didnt' listen. He's struggled ever since and he's 12 now. If I had to do it over again I'd wait another year. That one year makes a big difference! Although sometimes boys and slower than girls so she maybe ok. It's really a tough decision.

S.

While your daughter may be kindergarten ready now, will she be ready to associate with older kids when she's in high school? You guarantee she will be one of the youngest among her teen peers if you send her to K so close to the cutoff. Ask dad how he feels about sending a 15 yr old girl on car dates with 16-18 yr old boys because they're in the same grade????? Best of luck!

sign her up and take her for her screening and then they will tell you if she is ready or not. If she is ready send her She will have so much fun. I am very involved with my kids school. When my oldest started I was there everyday and that is ok there is always something going on at school that they need volunteers for. I think you are nervous about her not being home anymore this will calm that feeling. Also if you have other children they can go with you. I drug my 4ys old around all the time and it helped her so much by the time it was her turn for kindergarten she knew all of the teacher, principal, secratary, she was so comfortable there.

Hope this helps

When I was this age, I made the date to start preschool by 20 days, the teacher said I was ready and my parents started me in kindergarten. I have to tell you I was not ready socially or academically. I REALLY wish they would have waited and sent me the next year. I was behind all of my life and still "hide" in social situations. I was always the youngest, smallest, was bullied alot. I sat back and watched everything happen:( I still do. My daughter makes the deadline by 6 days and I am def. waiting a year. A year makes a HUGE difference, I see it with the kids in her class. The older ones sort of dominate the class. I don't want to scare you, all kids are different- your little girl may be ready. I just know waiting will be the best for us! Good luck.

You have to go with your gut on this one. I am a teacher and this was so me a few years ago. Anyone who knows me knows that I could debate this issue for hours. I am a proponent for doing what is best for YOUR child. Both of my children (10 and 7) are fall babies (late September and early October). I am not sure if there is a "magic age" to begin school. My best friends son is august and excels in school AND sports (he's in 7th grade). We were even told to hold my son out a year b/c of sports, but academically this would have been a nightmare as we struggle with keeping him challenged and he is the 2nd youngest in his class.If she is ready...she's ready. It is easy to look back on a situation and have regrets, (when things don't go ideally) but do you really know that the child would definately struggle the year before.

Sure from time to time you may second guess yourself...but you want her to thrive and be challenged (not struggle.) Based on our experiences with my son, we had my daughter tested for early entrance. She's 14 days AFTER the cut off. An I.Q. based test she missed by 3 points. I was so frustrated b/c I knew she was ready and I knew that there would be children with earlier birthdays and LESS ready. Like some of the other responses would it be an issue if she were a few weeks earlier. She spent the extra year in a great preschool and when she got to Kindergarten (a full day program w/ a great teacher) she was well beyond her peers. She is mature and eager and a long story short she was moved to first grade for the last 4 weeks of that year and is now in second grade.(where we wanted her to be) She is on honor roll and her teacher is amazed at how well she is doing. I will admit that at first (this year) I second guessed myself on the social aspect of her promotion, but within a month she "fit" right in and is a LEADER in the class. Her abilities and capacity is more evenly matched with this set of peers. A key to success is SUPPORT! We have open dialogue with both of our children about the importance of being Leaders and not followers, peer pressure and knowing right from wrong. She is well supported and excited to be where she is. My husband and I are both educators and involved in their school. Will there be issues down the road...(physical development, driving, dating, college etc.) Maybe, but there will probably be some ANYWAY , its called life and they grow up. Your child will probably do well whatever you choose. She has a great thing going for her...that's caring parents!

Get a guage for yourself by asking her preschool teachers and the schools entrance test. Check out curriculum and see if YOU (honestly) think she's ready. Once you make your decision...be committed to it. Don't second guess yourself. When you do that there is always room for woulda coulda shoulda! Good luck

My husband and I both missed the K'garten cut-off deadline by a few days, so we basically turned 6 at the beginning of Kindergarten. I think being some of the older children going through school gave us an advantage. Both of us were at the top of our class and both of us were accepted to top colleges (he went to ND). Now, all of our younger sibs went to school at a normal age 5 and two were held back, the other two struggled the entire way through school. I don't know if that means anything, but maybe it will help you in your decision.
N.

Here is a quote from a New York Times Magazine article from June 3, 2007 ("When Should a Kid Start Kindergarten?"). A veteran kindergarten teacher is being interviewed. "But one day as we sat in her classroom, Andersen told me, “Every year I have two or three young ones in that August-to-October range, and they just struggle a little.” She used to encourage parents to send their children to kindergarten as soon as they were eligible, but she is now a strong proponent of older kindergartners, after teaching one child with a birthday just a few days before the cutoff. “She was always a step behind. It wasn’t effort and it wasn’t ability. She worked hard, her mom worked with her and she still was behind.” Andersen followed the girl’s progress through second grade (after that, she moved to a different school) and noticed that she didn’t catch up. Other teachers at Glen Arden Elementary and elsewhere have noticed a similar phenomenon: not always, but too often, the little ones stay behind."

I have a son who is in kindergarten and turned six last August. We waited the extra year and I couldn't be happier. Academically he would have been fine, but socially, he has gained so much by waiting the extra year. He is more confident and outgoing with his classmates and is having a very successful year. I know this is a personal decision, but I can't imagine sending a 4 year old to kindergarten, especially when some of her classmates will likely be six.

I used to teach elementary school before I was a SAHM. There is such a span in maturity and social/emotional levels from ages 4-6 that I can't imagine why anyone would want to push their kids into school so young. I know some husbands who worry about the financial aspect of another year of preschool. I'm not sure if this is true in your case, but I'd rather pay for another year of preschool than 2 or 3 years of extra college when they are struggling. You also have to think about middle school years and college years. Your daughter would start college at 17 and potentially graduate at 20. She has her whole life to go to school and work. I say let them be kids for as long as we can.

I'll get off my soapbox now. Hope this helps!

I would send her...if she doesn't do well, she can repeat kindergarten.

N.,

ASK your daughter what she wants to do. I started Kindergarten when I was 4, and turned 5 in November (they had a longer cut-off back then). I ranked 3rd when I graduated. It absolutely would not have been a benefit for me to wait another year, as I was often bored and frustrated at the learning pace as it was. If your girl is already rolling along with a class of peers in preschool, who will be in her Kindergarten class, it will not benefit her to make her wait and have to join a different group next year.
If she can handle the work, and she is interested, let her go.

Best wishes,
K.

N.-
I had to make this decision with my daughter who is now in 2nd grade and it was very difficult for me as well. My husband felt the same as yours and wanted to start her and I wasn't sure so we sent her. She did great in kindergarten, but in 1st grade she had some problems. She was fine academically, but emotionally she struggled. She cried at school a little too often and was very quiet. Half way through her 1st grade year, we moved to Ohio. Her very wise teacher encouraged me that since she would be starting in a new school and not know anyone in any grade that we consider putting her back in kindergarten instead of continuing 1st grade to give her that extra time to grow. This is what I did and it was the best thing I ever could have done for my daughter. I explained to her that in Ohio they started kindergarten at a different time and I thought she would be happier with kids her own age instead of being the youngest. She responded to me that she was already the youngest in her Michigan class and she hated being the youngest. She has really benefited from the extra time to develop. Now, she is one of the oldest in her class and she has so much more confidence, she participates in all aspects of school and she is soaring. She loves school. Her teacher is planning to start her in the school's ELO program for advanced students. There are so many areas they need to be ready in to do well in school and I think it's always a good idea to give them the extra time if there is a choice. I learned this the hard way and will always be grateful that I put my daughter back in kindergarten! You often hear parents regret starting kids too early. You never hear anyone regret starting them later! I hope this helps as I understand it is still a difficult choice. Good luck to you and your daughter whichever way you choose to go!

I would wait. It may not make a difference right now, but as time goes on, there may be a noticeable difference in either social or academic skills or both, later on down the road. It is a personal decision, but being a summer birthday and having a sibling the same way, we both agree, both of us should have been held back. academically my sister should not have been, but she said it really hurt her socially in the end, even though she seemed ready.

In addition, we are in the same boat regarding kindergarten, have actually made the decision to put our child in the 3year old class this year and then switch over to the pre-k for next year. This way, the friends our child made this year, will be ones that our child will meet up with the following year again. Then the ones in the 4yr old class that go to pre-k next will give a new base of friends to have.

It is so much harder to hold back later on in school then it is now. See if you can find a pre-k class to put her in, that way your husband may be a little more receptive. Explain, do you want to possibly hurt her self esteem or have her struggle when she gets older, why not give her the advantage of being one of the oldest instead of the youngest.

Good luck

N.,

My daughter Tristen is 15 now. She turned 5 July 28th and started kindergarden Aug 23rd. I thought it would be ok to do so then, now I regret it. She was a immature 5 (as in just turning 5) and it made it a lil more difficult for her. Her grades we ok, but socially she seems a lil younger than other kids in her grade. Having her wait one more year I think is the best option.

Good Luck

My daughter is 5 and is in kindergarten now. She never went to Preschool and is extremely young for her class. She was born on July 30. I really debated up till a week before school started on sending her or not. I ended up sending her for the simple fact that if she does not do good I can hold her back. Also repeating KG she would have an advantage next year. I knew that her being young that she would be able to bounce back much easier than later in life.
This was the best decission for us and our daughter. She is halfway through the year and is doing great, she does not have any problem areas. Her teacher actually informs me frequesntly that she is doing great and is sometimes above other students in class.

I would look at what she knows and how she does in preschool, if she could benifit from another year then by all means but if she is ready to start kindergarten then i don't see any reason to wait another year. talk to her teachers or even call the school and see what they cover in the screenings and what kids should know entering kindergarten and compare it with what she knows already. i think the best thing you could do though is keep the desicion about whether or not SHE is ready not wheteher or not you are. I know here they teach letters and letter sounds as well as how to write them all, kids need to know how to tie their shoes, write their first and last names, know address and phone number, my kids were reading basic words and counting to 100 by the end of the year along with doing basic addition and subtraction. good luck.

I live here in Perrysburg- I have 4 children ages 29-13 and all four of them are old in the grade. I have also worked in the schools since 1992. Holding your daughter back will be the BEST choice you will ever make- give her the gift of time and she will be relax and confident instead of constantly struggling to keep up with students much older. Even if she does ok- she would have done better. Another reason, when she gets to HS she will have to start making decisions about college when she is still so much younger. Often they just can't and decide to just go to BG/UT/Owens for the reason they are not ready to deal with much else. This reason- although so foreign to you today will greatly effect her entire life. This is so much more than can she get good enough grades or learn the class material. In 25 years I can honestly say that I have only seen one boy that would have been adversely effected by being held back. (his birthday was early July however)
Good luck on your decision but please know that great percent of other parents are holding their children for that extra year.

I was a first grade teacher (first year at home with twins). I always thought I would rather my child be ahead than struggle in school. Too many children fall behind in reading, math, and writing. Believe me, school is not the same as it was for us. Curriculum is much more rigorous and demanding. The expectations for success are much higher and more stressful for students. I would ask myself if your child is really ready for this responsibility and pressure. The question I always threw at my parents was this.... Would you rather your child be the smartest child in the class or the one that couldn't keep up????

I think in this day and age you're better off holding her back. A lot of kids in this situation will be okay in Kindergarten until about 2 or 3 grade and then they start to struggle and end up getting held back then with a little more social stigma attached. Better off keeping her behind where she'll end up being the oldest (possibly smartest) kid in the class and not struggle her whole life. I can't say she won't be find, my sister entered kindergarten at age 4 (her birthday is in October) and she did well, but that was 27 years ago. Maybe ask your school to have her take the placement test (usually required for kids in the range between September 1 and December 31 to enter Kindergarten) and see how she does. I would ask her preschool teacher's opinion as well.

NO. My parents sent me on, and from experience i can say that to be a year younger then your entire class isnt worth it. When i was in elementary school it wasnt a big deal. I was smart and the work wasnt an issue. As i got into middle and high school though it was a disadvantage. I was an entire year younger then many of my friends...which as a growing young woman you can imagine the frustration of always being behind ...maturing physically and emotionally behind my friends. Dont even get me started on driving...HA! And when i went off to college at the tender age of 17 it was especially tough. Legally, i couldnt even go see an R rated movie until my first semester was almost over.

IM with you....what is the rush. There are so many other ways to socialize and educate your daughter until she is ready for kindergarten. She will thank you one day for holding off until next year when she is the same age as her classmates.

It depends on your child. My sister-in-law had the same thing happen. Her son turned 5 on Aug.7th and the cutoff was sometime in August. She sent her son and it was a good idea. He is very intelligent and even though at first he was immature so was EVERYBODY else's kids!! Being 6 does not all of the sudden make you able to sit still for 8 hours a day. If you have done a good job teaching him to listen and to follow directions he will be fine. If not then he will have problems whenever he enters school. I had just turned 18 when I graduated (April birthday). Now kids are graduating when they are 19!!! So you now have 19 year olds (adults) dating 15 or 16 year olds because they are not starting kindergarten till they are 6. When my husband was 19 almost 20 he was a Junior/Senior in college and we were making plans to get married. I think 19 is a little old to be a senior in high school.

Best of luck to you. It's not an easy decision to make.

My daughter is a September baby, also just days before the deadline. I sent her. She was four for only two weeks of the school year. Would you even question it, if she were born a few weeks earlier? If she is ready for kindergarten, then holding her back will be doing just that, holding her back. By the way, my daughter is now in the first grade, and despite the fact that she is younger than most of the kids in her class, she is at the top, in both reading and math. She doesn't feel weird about it all.

Does your daughter meet the kindergarten readiness standards? Find out from your school district what your child should know before they enter kindergarten (letter/number recognition etc.. ). Your school district should have information on kindergarten readiness.
The other issue is maturity. Do you think your child is socially mature enough to go to Kindergarten? Only you as a parent can answer that honestly.
Bottom line, you know your child better than anyone... you make the call!

You will get many different thoughts on this matter. Take it from me. My daughter has a June birthday and our cutoff was August 1st. We went back and forth regarding this for almost 1/2 year. I asked several teachers and they all recommended not to send a summer baby with the way school is today. My daughter is outgoing, friendly and was ready academically but in our hearts we knew she wasn't mature enough. Today she is in 1st grade and I have to tell you, it was the best decision we ever made. You will never hear a person regret that they waited but you will hear people regret that they sent too early. School is so much harder then it was when I went (almost 40)there is a lot of pressure on these kids to preform. Not too mention they are doing things we never would of done until we were in late hs and college. Why not give her the advantage to be the oldest and leader in her class. Just my opionion. The other advice is too listen to your OWN heart. Do what you think is right. Good luck.

We went through this same thing last year with our son. He was 100% ready academically, but emotionally and maturity wise he was just not ready. We decided to send him to pre-k... definitely the best decision for us. He surely needed that extra year to grow and blossom. Although, they say girls are different than boys in this aspect you will just have to check all aspects of how your daughter is doing....academics, emotional and also the maturity level plays a factor in it. Hope this helps a bit. Also, they say they may be fine in the first few years of school and that you may not see any signs of being delayed until the 4th grade or later. being held back that late is a bad blow for the child.

Two things. Do not push her if it is not needed and second thing is talk to her teachers. They might have a better in sight than you and your husband on how ready she is. Personally I am going thourgh this with my hubbie and we finally found out that the school is recommending they be 6 by August 1. They did some study and found out children who were entered at the age of 5 really were not ready and had to have more tutoring later on than children who entered at the age of 6. So we have 2 more years of preschool and I love it because I like having her home and I know that is selfish but she has the rest of her life to be in school.
This is just my twist on things that if you feel she should not go then your gut feeling should be right. Men think academicly and want to push the kids to be the best and they want to be proud to talk about that at work. I would ask him why he feels that she needs to go now and why he feels that it is necessary. Hope this helps you and I am for what you are saying we are pushing our kids to be adults and not leting them be a kid.

Well, I went through the same situation, me saying wait, my husband saying send him. My son's preschool teacher said to wait, she wasn't sure he was ready, however, I got him tested for school. Not sure if you can do that in your school system or not, but they do have kindergarten testing, and that will give you a good idea of where she stands acedemically. If that is not the issue with you, then you could send her. My son turned 5 in April....which for boys they say the end of March to august birthday's sometimes boys have a harder time because of maturity. I have heard girls are differantly than boys, and do mature faster in some cases. I decided to send him and go with my husband, and so far he is in 2nd grade, he hasn't gotten held back, but kindergarten was a breeze for him, and 1st grade was a constant stuggle. It really fell on me alot. In first grade homework is very time consuming. It involves parents to read to ect. I worry that in the future he may not "get it" and have to be held back which is a big big fear I have for him. If there is doubt you shouldn't send her, consider it, but if it is more mother related issues, not wanting to let her go......reconsider!

I can tell you that this is a very difficult decision. I can relate! Each child is unique and needs to have the decision made especially for that child.

My 1st son I planned on holding back and stayed in preschool at age 5. He had difficulty and eventually got "kicked out" of preschool and dropped into Kindergarten in March and had to catch up and graduate with the others.

My 2nd son was old enough, 5 1/2, but the teachers and counselors insisted that he have two years of Kindergarten. Not what I expected for him.

I will have one child graduate at age 17 and the other at age 19.

Has your daughter taken the Kindergarten screening test? How did she do? If you get the results from that, then you will have more info to make the decision with. That's through the school, so make a call.

I've been told that an advantage of being the older one is that they are the first to get their driver's license and will B. quite popular in high school.

Best of luck to you. I know I still have doubts and regrets about my decisions for my boys. I hope it all works out well for you.

We just went through this last year. My son turned five May 31, so he could have gone to kindergarten this year or not. We talked to his preschool teacher, who didn't want to give us a definite yes or no. I figured he was ready academically, but was not certain of his readiness emotionally. So we decided to wait. I have not regretted the decision at all! He has undergone so many changes this last year of pre-kindergarten. He has started reading, and can sit still and on task longer. Now I feel 100% sure he is ready. From what I understand, the problems that come from entering school too early don't manifest until late elementary or middle school. I figure those years are hard enough. :) I wanted to guarantee his comfort and success.

I have two daughters whose birthdays are end of July and end of August. The best advice I ever got was from my oldests' preschool teacher when she was 4 turning 5 that summer. She highly suggested that we do research and consider not sending her. She mentioned her being the youngest in her class,possibly being a followe instead of aleader. Academically both my girls were ready at 5 but after speaking with current teachers and reading on line my husband and I decided it was the best thing we have ever done. Neither one of my girls are ahead by any stretch but they are not behind either. My oldest is in 3rd grade and each year her teacher tells me I made the right and best decision! My oldest will sometimes ask me why she turned 9 this past summer before everyone else but if I would of sent her at 5 to Kindergarten then she'd be asking me why she's the youngest. Either way you have to make the best decision for your child. I myself am an August birthday and I went at 5. Things are different now. Kids are learning things in 2nd grade that we didn't learn till 5th grade. The other great thing about not sending them at 5 was the maturity. I am now seeing that in my current 3rd grader who is 9. Her maturity and decision making skills are really good. Hope this helps!

J. King

If she makes the deadline, the only question is, Is She Ready?

Does she enjoy pre-school. Does she pass the Kindergarten 'readiness tests' ... counting, alphabet, colors, etc ... ?
If she does ... I say send her.
But, if your intuition tells you it's too soon for HER (NOT for YOU) then wait. Trust your gut (talk to your husband, too), just make sure you don't keep her home to keep her from growing up too fast.

The joy of seeing her learn and grow will ease the feeling of losing your little girl.

Best of luck

I have four children three of which were born in August and just made the deadline. The two girls were average students and always the youngest at everything. (Therefore, all of thier friends did things older kids did) My son was held back in first grade anyway. My fourth child is born in November and forced to wait a year. Of the four she is the one who never needed to be pushed and excels in her classes. (The older ones had no problem in college but had matured by then lol!!) Send her to pre-school and then she will really be ahead!

You don't say how she is doing in Preschool. Any issues of socializing?

I don't see any reason to hold her back if the Preschool Teacher thinks she is ready. If in question have her tested at the school she will be attending. They see things we parents and grandparents are too bias to see.

My sister's middle son did one year of preschool and graduated at the top of his class. The youngest did 2 years in preschool and although he was way smarter there were 2 even smarter than he was. He's a math wiz and didn't suffer either way by waiting.

Have her draw a picture of her self and look for details like eye lashes, finger (5) per hand, and finger nails. That is one of the things they do at our school. I tested a child in my care once and at age 5 could not draw a line or a circle.

My oldest son drew boobs and you know what on men. I was so embareassed but he did draw clothes over top. The teacher was impressed he knew what males and females have.

It really depends on your child. My oldest daughter has an August birthday. We sent her when she was 5. The preschool said she was ready, but they only tell you if she's mentally ready. She was not mature enough and it really caught up with us in first grade. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited another year. I have a three and a half year old now and she has a summer birthday. I think I am going to send her when she's six to give her a better chance maturity wise.

As a teacher, I will tell you that it totally depends on the child. Think about these things....Does she want to go? Is she interested in learning (letters, information, science, nature)? Is she mature? Are her freinds going or are they younger? Does she like playing with younger or older kids? You can also go in and talk to the teachers...see what they say.
Don't let people tell you not to push your child into it, that she is not ready. If the date was a month earlier, would you even be thinking about not sending her? You know your child the best and only you and her dad can make the decision.
I missed the cut off by three days, but was sent anyway and my mother said it was the right decision from day one. There is such a difference in maturity levels at her age.

Me niece's birthday is August 31st and she started kindergarten very young. After years of struggling but not actually failing, her parents and her teachers decided to have her repeat 4th grade. It turned out to be the best decision for her! She's 17 and a junior in high school now and she's done very well since repeating 4th grade. My suggestion would be to wait a year.

Good luck with your decision!

It honestly depends on your daughter. Do you think she is mature enough both mentally, physically and emotionally to enter kindergarten. If she's going to be bored to tears in another year of preschool, by all means, let her go. But if you think she could use an extra year of pre-k before hitting kindergarten, keep her back.

My oldest son turned 5 a week after kindergarten started which means he has always been one of the youngest kids in his class. (He's now in 2nd grade) But he has always handled it well and he's very smart, so we've never had to double think our choice of sending him to k so young.

I am a Kindergarten teacher. My advice is to get the list of the things your child should know from the school before she enters Kindergarten. Use the list for a guideline. If she knows the things on the list, and she has the social skills, then I think she can go ahead to start Kindergarten. I have students who don't have the social skills because they are too young. I also have 5 years old that are not ready at all for Kindergarten because they do not know their numbers and letters. So they struggle throughout the year. Hope this can help you.
R.

Hi N.. I too was faced with this dilema, but with B/G twins. My daughter was academicly ready, where my son...no way. I didn't want to send my daughter and wait a year on my son....two separate grades...how cruel. So this is what I did. I spoke with our preschool teacher and found out most kids in our district go to school at 6. My kids birthday is in May, so we are way ahead of the Sept. 30th cutoff date. The teacher pointed out there are pre-k (kindergarten enrichment programs are what they are called at the rec centers...ask if they are ODE curricum accredited) programs out there that are academically great, but give your kids another year to develope socially ie: take turns, share, follow directions, listen and pay attention, etc. that a lot of the 5 year olds start kindergarten w/ birthday close to cutoff do great at first but then struggle later in the year. Another point that was brought up....same kids that are a year older than yours in kindergarten now, by 3rd grade students have quite a bit homework, reports, essays and the kids that are older in that grade do better than their younger counterparts. Anyways, my thoughts are give both my kids one more year while still being challenged in Pre K, then when they go onto Kindergarten they'll do great verses sending them now and just doing average. Hope this helps.

My own opinion is to wait. A friend of mine sent her son to kindergarten early - he turned 5 on August 28 and then he started that week. He had a hard time adjusting and she ended up having him repeat his year of kindergarten. What is the hurry and do you really want your child to be the youngest in the class? I know I have three cousins who all have late summer birthdays and they are older for their grade and it works for them.

I say keep her home one more year. My daughter's birthday is in December, clearly she missed the deadline. My husband and I thought she was "too" bright to sit out the extra year. I am soooooo glad we waited. She has enjoyed being at the top of her class, the maturity level is great, kindergarten was a breeze for her and now she is about second academically in her first grade class. As long as you keep her engaged and exposed to a VARIETY of activities at home, at the library, in the community etc. she will be fine. The pressure to learn in a formal (sometimes backwards) environment will come soon enough. We got over making our daughter a quick-starter and we are glad that we waited.

R.

Do you want her heading off to college at 17 turning 18 or 18 turning 19?

You have received alot of responses already and ultimately it is your decision but having gone through the same thing last year and being that no one has mentioned what was my deciding factor I will throw in my 2 cents. Our daughter has a September 26th birthday and our cutoff is October 1st. Being with friends was not a major issue since her older brother is already at the school and he has friends whose siblings are in both grades. Anyway, academically and emotionally she was ready and would have done just as well if we had sent her last year so at first it seemed like a difficult decision til I looked at the even bigger picture. If I had sent her last year she would have been 17 for almost the first 2 months of college. As someone who had just turned 18 a month before going to college I knew I would not be comfortable sending her away at such a young age. We have been happy with our decision she repeated that year at her preschool and went to kindergarten with 2 friends from that preschool as well as the friends she already had from the siblings of her brother's friends. She is also not the oldest in her class |you hadn't waited. I hope this helps you with your decision.

I have to tell while most people say wait. However no one is as prepared to answer this question like her preschool teacher. They take social level as well as preparedness into account!
Good luck!

I have a freind who had the exact same problem. I will say her son did NOT seem emotionally or developmentally ready for kindergarten. I am going to tell you what I told her (which she took my advice and is happy she did and her son is now in 1st grade). First of all let me say that if it is parochial school your child will be attending my suggestion is to wait another year before starting knder. If it is a public school your daughter will be going to my suggestion is to send her even if she doesn't seem ready. My friend was completely stressed on the decision as I am sure you are. I told her to send her son because he may surprise you and do well and thats great. If he doesn't do so well then you repeat kinder and where are you then. The exact place you would be if you had waited except for the fact your child will do much better since they recieved all the extra practice. As I said she did take my advice, and her son did repeat kinder, and she tells me all the time how happy she was with the decision. Also I don't know if your daughter is in pre school, but if she is I am sure you have to pay for that and you would be saving yourself money for that.I also have to add that both of my children started kindergarten atthe age of 5 and as my daughter has done better than my son, I think that is because she is just naturally a little brighter. The other thing is that both of my children enjoy school so don't feel like you are making them grow up too fast. I hope some of this helps you and Good Luck with your decision.

If you think she is ready socially, send her, but tell her from the very beginning that she has to go to Kindergarten twice. That way, if her teacher thinks that she needs to repeat it, you've already managed her expectations from day one. If she does well, then there is your answer. At least she will have a more challenging year than she would at another year of pre-school. This is what we did with our son (who was also the youngest of his class) - he ended up thriving in the Kindergarten environment and learned SO MUCH more that year than if we would have done another year of pre-school. I think this approach is no-fail and we will do it again for our other March birthday baby. Interestingly, our son that we sent early told us recently that his pre-school was not challenging at all and he was always very bored (something he could not verbalize when we were trying to make this decision -- he had nothing to compare it to.) We were so glad that we sent him to Kindergarten at the age of 5.

I have to ask you the same question that your husband did--why wait??? I can understand not wanting to let go, it will be my son's first year as well and you may be very anxious. They have to go sometime. The real question is do you think she is ready. You have to put YOUR feelings aside for a second and think about your child. Everything will fall into place.

I woulden't, my daughter was the same and she had a hard time through her school years

My daughters' birthday is July 24, she is now a senior is high school. I have always wished I had held her back- maturity has always been behind, and up until about the 4th to 5th grade academics also

Both our girls were close to the cut off. We kept them both back! We are very happy! Here are a few of the reasons why: 1. The older they are more likely the will be the leader and not the follower. 2. It gives them one more year of still being a "kid" and able to enjoy having fun (kindergarten is not the same when I was a kid) 3. Even though it is far away I rather she doing the driving then riding with friends. 4. College one more year to save and I did not want my girls to be seventeen in college! This is just of the few of the reasons. Hope it helps.

I have a son in the exact situation (4 days fom the cutoff). I have a cousin and aunt who both teach kindergarten. I was already leaning toward keeping him home and in preschool one more year, but over the Holidays discussed it with them. They both advised waiting. Several children struggle at least for the first semester, making harder on them academically, socially and emotionally. I also know someone who started her son and then had to hold him back in the third grade due to emotional and social immaturity. Academics were never the issue in her case. I would not want that to happen to my son. As a mom of older children as well, that would crush him not to be able to move on with his clssmates. Not that you can predict the future, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Also, I have been thinking of even farther into the future. Would you want he/she to be the 14 year old hanging out with the 15 an 16 year olds when they get to high school? I keep thinking I want my son to be mature enough to make smart decisions throughout his life and hopefully be a leader among his classmates. I'm afraid if he's the youngest, he will be more apt to make immature decisions, fall easier to peer pressure, etc.
I am a 39 (as of today) year old mother of three (10, 7 and 4)and have been married 11 years. My husband is in agreement with my decision, especially after talking to the family members who teach kindergarten. It was his brother who had to be held back in the third grade and he saw how it affected him. I agree with you, "what's the hurry?" You'll never get the time back if you choose to send her.

I highly recommend waiting. I teach middle school and usually the kids that are the less mature and struggling are the students that are youngest (I know not all of the time, but definitely the majority) Why wait? --wouldn't you rather your kid be at the top of the class and confident, or the youngest and possibly struggling. I also look at it this way--do you want your daughter to be a class that is older and dating first, driving early... Good luck with whatever your decision!

my parents had the same argument with my brother. i am 29 now but he ended up haveing to be held back in 8th grade. i think you should wait. it is easier for a child to move up if need be than back( at least that is what i think.) unless you think he is just so bored in preschool he needs more.

I was an early reader, always bored with school-work, and was homeschooled most of my life. I was also always the youngest in my class when I attended a private school - I was 10 in sixth grade - my bd is in October. I'm also an elementary school teacher. I would say that you have to look at your daughter's emotional, physical, social, and mental readiness. Is she bored by the things they do in preschool? Does she have the skills necessary for Kindergarten - knows all shapes, colors, numbers 1-10, can recognize all her letters, and knows how to write some of them (#s and letters)? If so, I'd say she's ready. Ask the preschool teacher too - usually kids do better with that kind of stuff when they're in a school environment, and the teacher is trained to know if they're ready for kindergarten or not. If you hold her back, they may find that she's way ahead of her class and move her up; if you enroll her this year, she may be behind and need to do another year of kindergarten. Either way, it all kind of evens out by about 3rd grade. Good luck, and remember, you need to do what you think is best for your daughter. Even the preschool teacher doesn't know her like you and your husband do!

I have gone through the same thing and I am going to the same thing right now. My daughter turned 5 May 31st. I sent her to kindergarten after 2 years of preschool. If I had it to do all over again, I would have held her another year. She is doing okay but she struggles with certain things. Math, for instance, is very difficult for her. The other kids in the class are moving ahead and she is still trying to figure certain things out. What kids need to know in school now is absolutely crazy. My daughter is in the 3rd grade and is doing geometry. Stuff I don't understand. I really wish I would have held her a year. Now, onto the other. My son will be 5 in April and we decided to start him late for preschool. This is actually his first year of preschool. He will go another year and then start kindergarten when he is almost
6 1/2. My in-laws have given me and my husband such grief over the decision that we made. However, we have not regretted the decision at all. He is doing better and I think that he will have an easier time in school than his sister does. So, I guess what I am trying to say is this: she is your child and only you can make the decision. If it were my child, and my decision, I would hold her for one more year. It's better to start her one year later than have to hold her back once she gets into the school system. She will then remember it forever. Now, she won't even think twice about it. Let her be a kid for just a little while longer. School is so difficult anymore and she will have, at least, 13 years of it. Hope this helps