My family and I live in a small town of 1,300 people. We are miles away from the highway, and the highest speed limit in town is 25mph, there is not a speeding problem in this town. My oldest son will be going into 8th grade next year. What time do you think he should be able to stay out with his friends? During the winter, he must be home before dark, this is more difficult now as it does not get dark until almost 10:00 (10:00 is summer bedtime). Him and his friends skateboard, and ride scooters at the park or the school. Sometimes they just hang out in each others driveways (there is usually 3-5 kids). Before he goes out, he tells me where he will be, if his plans change he calls home and tells me. Anytime I have gone looking for him, I have found him exactly where he says he will be. I have not seen him or his friends acting irresponsible when out, nor have I had it reported to me from others that they are misbehaving. He is a very well behaved child, other adults often comment about his great behavior. He has done very well in school this year recieving mostly A's with a few B's thrown in. His final report card for 7th grade was a 4.0. I'm inclined to let him stay out until 8:30 or 9:00 unless his behavior or attitude changes. Is this too late?
Wanna switch kids for a lil while? He passes school, doesn't lie to you and his friends are decent! Id let him stay out till 10-1030. Lucky you!!
He sounds like a good kid and has definitely earned your trust. I think that is very reasonable. You can always instill an earlier curfew if he starts to stray off course.
I don't think that is too late. If he is responsible, go with it, and if things change, tweak it a little.
You know when I was growing up at his age at night yes I had to be in by 10. We all hung out in the same neighbor hood so there were tons of kids. But that was then not now. Kids are more sexually aware and there are more nut jobs around. I think Friday or Saturday night during the summer if they are going to the movies etc but during the week I'd still keep it 8 or 9.
i think thats a great plan!
Does your area have curfew laws? We used these with our teens, then it was the "law" not just their parents setting rules. These are the curfew times in Minneapolis, where I now live:
CURFEW HOURS
Under 12 years old
Sun. - Thurs.- Home by 9:00 PM
Fri. & Sat.- Home by 10:00 PM
12-14 years old
Sun. - Thurs.- Home by 10:00 PM
Fri. & Sat.- Home by 11:00 PM
15-17 years old
Sun. - Thurs.- Home by 11:00 PM
Fri. & Sat. - Home by 12:00 PM
It sounds like he is getting enough time to sleep and enought time to study, Another way you could keep in touch with him is a walkie talkie
.
I think he's given you enough reason to trust him. Let him stay out. If he starts making poor choices during the later hours, reign him in.
I have not read the other responses you have been given but this is what my parents did for me. When I was in school I had a strict bed time of 8 until I hit Jr. High then it turned to 9 (mostly because we moved out to the country and had a farm which created extra work). This lasted till I was 16 and I got frustrated with it and told my parents I wanted to pick my own bedtime. Their two stipulations were that if I stayed up late I didn't complain about being tired, and I had to get up when my alarm went off no matter what (unless i was sick). During summer they let me stay out playing with friends until it was dark on the weekends, once we moved i didn't have many friends that were out in the country. My plan with my kids is to let them do something similar. It sounds like your son has some great decision making skills. Keeping a 4.0 is not an easy feet and certainly deserves some allowances as long as he is still meeting your expectations. I am not a helicopter mom. I tend to give my kids more rope than what others do, however I have strict boundaries that they cannot pass without consequences. I think you know your son the best and will know if he can handle what you are proposing.
It is perfectly fine for him to stay out until dark unless he's a marathon sleeper.
You likely want him up early in the morning. If he gets by on 8 hours of sleep it should not be a problem.
You know your child best and the situation your all in best.
I say, reward his good behavior and let him have some freedom. Check up on him often when he isn't expecting it and make sure you have conversations about drinking, sex and drug use frequently.
Remind him why you trust him so much so he knows that if he does screw up there will be less trust and less freedom.
As far as curfew I would say that he can be out until necessary. Meaning if he is watching a movie that doesn't end until 9:30 then he comes home right after, fine. If they don't have any real "plans" and are just hanging out at a public place, I would have him home at 8:30 or 9:00 if he has friends over or he is in someone's home.
When I was a teenager my curfew was based on what we were doing. I was a good kid and never got into trouble and since I had a job part time I often hung out with much older kids. We would go midnight bowling and I was sometimes out until 3 am on weekends when we did this. BUT I was out at the bowling alley and then had a ride home with a responsible working young adult (usually a college friend). I do know that you are more likely to get into trouble when there is nothing to do and you are out with friends though, so keep that in mind.
Just my 2 cents :o)
Sounds like you know what you are doing to me.
He hasn't given you any reason to not trust him. While I am not a supporter of hands off parenting, I think it is important to honor good behavior and extend a bit of trust in his ability to make good decisions.
It seems like you've done your research ;) and that he's an honest, good kid, so yeah, sounds reasonable to me! I think 9 is a good time, later than that might just breed trouble, but it's reasonable for him to be up later as long as he's at home or in your yard.
