Kids Sneaking Out in the Morning - Need Punishment and Prevention Ideas

take off the door knob and replace it with one that has a key on the inside and outside - I replaced my bathroom doorknob with one, coz my 2 year old kept getting in there and flooding it - it was easy to do and I did it myself.

Install a keyed deadbolt and bring the key into the bedroom with you when you're sleeping. Problem solved.

My parents have keyed deadbolts in their doors but they don't keep the keys nearby and I worry about them being trapped inside in case of a fire.

So: I suggest a hook-and-eye (or flip-over style) lock on the outside of their bedroom door(s). Let them know that you are installing it and why. Have them help you pick it out at the hardware store. If/when you move out, remove the hardware and caulk the holes. Management will likely never notice the repair.

Good luck.

I agree that you need to MAKE SURE you are awake before they do. That is a parent's job and responsibility whether we like itor not. With all of those adults in the house, no one hears them drag things to the door to reach the lock? I would sleep in front of the door if I had to!

why can't you get up earlier? you sound WAY too unconcerned over this - this is a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR safety issue. they COULD be kidnapped, they COULD get hit by a car, they COULD and the list goes on and on and on... you tell those little girls they are gonna be in BIG trouble if they go out without permission, honestly, at their young ages, they should NEVER be leaving the house without direct supervision, even if it's you hanging your head outside to see that they make it INSIDE the house two doors down. you get an alarm clock and get up before they do, you get some different type of lock, put away things they can climb on, get a security system with a chime so that you know ANYTIME that door is opened. it's time to get serious about this, nothing has happened yet, but there's no guarantee it will stay that way.

edited to add:
no, i didn't "miss" that they pushed a chair in from another room... if my children were escaping the house and i "couldn't" get up to prevent it, i would removed anything and everything they could climb on if it meant putting the dining room chairs on the roof. you honestly sound like you have your head in the clouds about the danger of this. and if your kids are so well behaved and not "out of control", why do you have this problem to begin with? i don't use locks and such(i would if i needed to), but i tell my kids they have to stay in their rooms until 6:30 during the week and 7:00 on weekends. we ALL have our issues, many of us have medical problems that make it more difficult to do our daily tasks. i have cared for my children with blinding migraines while carrying a trash can with me to vomit in - mothers do what they have to do to keep their children safe. speak to your doctor about help with your vitamin deficiency - many vitamins(even injectables) are not terribly expensive, especially if you can learn to do the injections yourself at home. look into www.freedrugcard.us to get siginificant savings on RX meds. i don't think any of use are trying to be "rude", but your lax attitude about this is downright frightening. if you truly are not going to make an effort to resolve the situation, you need a babysitter until you get out of bed in the mornings. you are begging for a neglect case with CPS.

Your girls are old enough to know better. I think that the punishment should be pretty severe - swat on the butt (I usually don't agree with that, but this IS a safety issue), grounding, losing privileges, etc.

I know that you aren't worried about kidnapping/hit by a car, but I would be. Additionally, if an officer drove by and your kids were outside alone early in the morning, I would be worried about CPS showing up at my door.

I would get a magnetic alarm for the door that set off a "siren" when the door is opened.

First go out today and purchase an alarm for your door! Second purchase an extra tall get for their bedrooms. Ours has bars that only go up and down so they cannot stick their feet in it and climb up and over. Third you could start using a baby monitor again and use one of those door knob covers on the inside so they can't get out of the room in the morning (I usually would be against it but for your children's safety they seem to need it) I wake up at 6 am everyday that is when my 3 yr old gets up so I get up. Why can't you get up before 7/730? You are the mother aren't you and that is what mom's do anything and everything to keep their kids safe so set your alarm and get up at 6 before they wake up.
Edit: You must have very tall children if they could climb an extra tall baby gate (42") where the bars go up and down only. You can solve your entire problem by waking up earlier. If you are already awake then they can't sneak out...problem solved.
Here is another idea. This lock locks from outside or inside w/ a key http://www.lowes.com/pd_320706-352-B62NSK+V+619_###-###-#...
and here is a door alarm http://www.lowes.com/pd_###-###-####-45117_###-###-####_#...

Edited: I feel from your most recent edit that you are way to slack about this. Sure nothing has happened yet but something could. They could walk into the parking lot and get hit, they could be kidnapped, they could get hurt, etc. I can tell you that if a neighbors child appeared at my house early in the morning w/o supervision more then once the police would be knocking at their door the second time. For $15 you can buy a door alarm...problem solved. Aren't your children worth the more then the $15 to you? My parents have a lot more serious problems then a vitamin deficiency and they both manage to get up before 5 to get ready to leave for work and when we were kids they managed to get up with us. Stop making excuses and be very glad that you aren't my neighbor.

You could try:
1. Putting a baby gate at their doorway
2. Making a clattering booby-trap if they touch the front door
3. Set your alarm at 6:00 everyday so you'll KNOW you'll be up before them
4. Ask for permission and get a key lock for the inside
5. Buy a door alarm so that when the door opens, it emits a loud alarm.
No offense, but these little kids sound like they have WAAAAY to much freedom and are in need of constant supervision.

Hi M.,

Please, please, please do not even entertain the idea of locking a child into their room. If there is a fire, THEY ARE TRAPPED. It is terrifying for a child to be locked into their room, and if they need to use the toilet or just see you, this is extremely frightening for children. I just had to add this because I often hear from families who have tried this that the results have been disastrous emotionally for everyone. This can trigger huge fear and regressive behaviors; while I know many who suggested this mean well, it's very extreme. Put yourself in the child's situation. What if you woke up in your room, tried the door, and couldn't get out? It's scary scary scary for kids and doesn't actually solve the long-term problem.

I'm not a big fan of punitive action--it's a short term fix that often "works" until the child decides the punishment is "worth it" to break the rule and wander on out. Here's how I would approach this:

Do talk to your landlord. This is the most permanent and effective option-- a double-sided deadbolt. Most want their tenants to be secure, as well as their children. Call a locksmith and see if you can install a double-sided deadbolt, so it has to be keyed from either inside or out. Then, your husband has one key, you sleep with the other around your neck. He can lock the kids in when he leaves, and likely, your landlord won't be upset about this addition. I think, given your situation, this might be the best solution ultimately.

As for some sort of consequence, as I said, I'm not big on punishment, but I'd have them make the connection with wandering out and appropriate times to socialize. Perhaps this is losing out on playdates if they were visiting a friend that morning. I don't know.... but I think the double-sided deadbolt will likely fix the problem as long as everyone is mindful about the keys. Hope this helps!

I don't understand. If the couryard is so safe why would you be concerned that "anyone could get in."? That same "anyone" could take your girls. It may not be a neighbor but it could be a neighbor's closet pedophile relative that's in town for a visit. I can't tell you how many times I have heard on the news in response to a horrible crime "It is such a tightknit community! We just can't believe this happened here." You are getting some rude responses because it seems like you are blowing this off and treating it as simply an inconvenience. We have all seen this type
of thing play out in the news and myself and the other mamas don't want
your girls to be harmed.

Do whatever it takes. If that means you have to get up at 5, that's what
you do. Open your bedroom door. Get a door alarm. Bribe them with
their favorite show if they will wake you up. This isn't cute
despite what that other mom said!

Edit: All moms! Please go to www.familywatchdog.us. Type in your address and you will find a map of convicted sex offenders in your area. Hopefully you don't have one living next door. I was shocked and disgustwd. You can click on a name and see a picture and crime(s) committed.

I don't think people are trying to be rude or hurtful, they are concerned about your kids safety and frankly, a little confused by your lack of urgency.

Why can't you get up any earlier? Do you work nights? If so, ok, understood - but there are 3 other adults in the house, do they all work nights too? With four adults in the house someone should be able to wake up early enough to supervise them in the morning. Some kids are early risers, my dd is one; you chose to have kids so you have to adjust your schedule to make sure they are being properly supervised at.all.times.

Dear M., I am sorry that you got so many rude and negative replies when you were simply asking for useful suggestions. The same thing has happened to me and many other Moms here on this site. It's really sad that instead of helping and supporting one another, so many people take this opportunity to judge and ridicule. Obviously no one can really know your whole situtation from a brief paragraph or two, all we can and should do is offer some guidance based on our own experience regarding your specific question. I really wish it worked that way but please don't let a couple nay-sayers disuade you from contributing to Mamapedia.

The 1st time this happend you should not have stayed over there and let them play--that's like a reward--you should have let them know that this behavior is absolutely unexceptable and made them march straight home and into time out--or some such punishment. Then you make sure it does not happen again by putting on a pad lock or a door alarm or one of those door knob covers. At that age my son knew to come and wake me up when he got up and then stay in his room--accept for the potty--till I got up, which was not very long because at that age they just need supervision.

Ok, first off - take a breath. Anytime you open yourself up to suggestion you open your self up to the opinions of others and unfortunately those aren't always nice. This question isn't meant to judge you as a mother, but rather help you solve a problem that you can't find the solution to, let's see if we can do that.

First off, it sounds like you've got yourself a little team, one munchkin decides to go and the other naturally follows (regardless if it's the older one or the younger), I can remember being young and thinking I'd get in less trouble if I did something with my brother as my counterpart. What kind of conversation have you had with your girls about what's happening? Do they have a reason? Sometimes if you really listen to what a kid is saying you can find out why they are doing it and also a light will come on as to a situation.

Personally I think this is one of those situations that requires punishment, not just prevention. If you were to only take away everything they could climb on (which btw is ridiculous, my children can climb on anything, I even found my youngest trying to stack play dishes to climb up the counter) all you're doing is making a new challenge for them and kids like challenges. Instead if there is a heavy consequence, time out, toys being taken away for a period of time, no playdates for awhile, whatever works for you, they may learn that it's not just that they aren't supposed to leave but it's bad to leave.

Your courtyard is, for now a safe place, but remember you don't know who has company or what could happen. I'm not saying that it's unsafe, or questioning your judgement, but things happen even when you don't think they will, and sometimes telling kids that gives them enough apprehension to stop a behaviour.

I would also get your friend in on the action. If ya'll are close enough that your kids feel safe going to her, then she needs to be as disapproving as you are. Have her over for coffee, sit the kids at the table and explain that neither of your are going to put up with that behaviour, it's unacceptable and should it continue playdates will cease for awhile. Tell them that if they show up the neighbour is going to march them right back without even saying hello to her children and wake you up. It removes the fun they're having now (even though you come and take them right away they get that time in between getting there and you arriving to play). If she can't bring them back, then tell them that she'll sit them in another room without her kids or toys or tv to wait for you. The less fun it is, the more their friends see them in trouble, the less they'll want to do it.

Good luck! Hang in there you'll find a solution and know that people here just like people in real life have opinions. Sometimes they're meant to hurt but often they aren't. If you love your kids, if you know you are a good mom then everything else is just surface noise, let it roll off your back!

Let us know how it goes.

I too feel sad and concerned about the unhelpful and rude responses. It sounds like your girls are very creative! and of course when they wake up in the morning they are full of life and want someone to play with! I personally wouldn't favor punishing them, but rather finding a solution that keeps them safe as well as happy. The lock that needs a key to open it sounds like a good idea for keeping them in (and of course you would need to keep the key well hidden so they can't get it - such as you could sleep with it around your neck, if that wouldn't make them want to wake you up to get it), but another issue is just that they wake up and naturally want some attention. If your friend enjoys being with them in the morning and you set it up ahead of time, maybe your girls could call her and she could come get them and bring them to her house (she would of course need a key to your door). If she doesn't want them coming over, then you could figure out something for them to occupy themselves with at your apartment in the morning till you get up. I'm generally not a big fan of DVDs or TV, but maybe it would be ok if they had something to watch in the morning for a while so you could get some more sleep. Or something like art supplies. Or maybe you could get them onto a later schedule (making bedtime later) so that they don't wake up before you. Or they could come in to your room and snuggle with you and read books or something, if it would work for you to have them there playing quietly, so that you wouldn't have to actually get up. It sounds like what they are doing is quite natural, and when we humans lived in small villages it would have been what all the kids did, when they wake up, go and find someone who is also awake to hang out with. and probably nothing would happen to them at your place, but with things being the way they are in the world now, unfortunately I don't think it sounds really safe for them to be leaving your apartment on their own. You could even explain the situation to them and brainstorm ideas with them, such as things they might like to do in the morning before you get up. I just want to say again that it sounds like you have very smart, creative, and resourceful kids, and they should be celebrated for that!

Don't beat yourself up. your not being negligent. You are not the first mom to have sneaky children. My best friend's mom had Houdini for a daughter. That child could get out of a room locked from the outside by a deadbolt. AT least your children are going some place that they know.

I had an issue with my daughter who would sneak off and groundings and time outs were not effective. It took a very severe spanking for me to get my point across. From that point on she took me seriously and even as a 17 yr old will always tell me where she is going.

You will want to talk to your apartment manager and ask if you can put in a more forceful lock. You want to be careful about putting a lock outside your children's door because sometimes social services gets weird about them. But when my sister had problems with her child sleep walking out the door in the middle of the night, putting a lock on the outside of her bedroom door was the only option.

For the most part, this is something that consistent emphasizing will address over time. 3 and 4 year olds are very much about doing what they think they can do and forget the consequences. Its not fun and if your health issue is causing a problem. You need to get more strict about things. I wish you luck and don't beat yourself up too badly about it.

I agree with putting in the keyed double dead bolt lock. Even if you discipline them they are too young to "get it" or trust that their behavior will suddenly change. It's really up to the adults to make sure they are safe and this doesn't happen again

I see that you've already received a ton of responses but felt I had to put in my two cents. First and foremost, how sad that you have received rude responses. Yes, this is an odd situation and maybe most of us can't put ourselves in your shoes, but still...

I was just thinking that maybe you might try a reward system rather than a punishment. What about giving the girls one gold star each day that they don't sneak out? When they have a set number of stars, they get a prize. Something reasonable, that they REALLY want. If they sneak out, they lose two stars. This gives them a meaningful reward and consequence situation.

The other option is a lock on the outside of their bedroom door so they cannot get out. My friend had to put one up when her son continually kept getting out of bed at night. You can set your alarm to get up when you normally would at 7am and then unlock it. These are special locks that you put on the outside of a child's door near the top of the door. I can't remember what they're called but I think they are sold in catalogs like One Step Ahead, etc...

Good luck!

Can you get one of those door alarms? You can get them that stick or bolt on. Get a set for every exterior door you own. Place it as high as possible and leave it on or turn it on before you go to bed each night. Everytime the door opens, it will sound. Also, you need to have a heart to heart with your children about safety and rules. Let them know what the consequences for sneaking out are and stick by them. I realize they are young but they will learn quickly.

I have a 3 year old that if I tell her something once, she can tell me about it weeks later. Not to say she always obeys me but she KNOWS.

My concern with some of the suggestions that you have received is egress in case of an emergency. A wireless door alarm is the best in my opinion. You should also look at their bedroom window and see how easy it would be for them to go out--put an alarm on it also. For those who feel you should get up before the children--what if they wake up and decide to go out at 2 AM? Your neighbor should not have allowed them to stay when they appeared at her home. Unfortunately, the children started out being rewarded for their behavior and that makes their actions harder to break.

I didn't read the other posts, so I apologize if this has already been said. If you don't want them to do it be sure to bring them straight home and put them in timeout in their room or elsewhere (I use the bathroom). The next thing I would do is not let them play with their friends on the days that they sneak out. Re-iterate to them that this is the punishment for sneaking out in the morning. You might also consider getting some sort of an alarm that sounds when the door is opened. I know that they sell kid "spy" equipment that uses a laser and if the beam is crossed it sets off an alarm. My grandpa's retirement home used it so they new when people got out of bed.

I agree this is a serious issue, but geesh people. Just give advice no need to be so rude! Anyway... I like the door alarm idea. or scaring them lol. I also agree that letting them stay and play the first time could have been a step backwards for you and to make sure you dont do that anymore. When you find them missing they go straight back home, no talking no playing no nothing and go straight to time out or whatever punishment you prefer (spanking, toy repossesion, etc) I also like the idea of a lock on the outside of their door, make sure the room is safe and then you can rest easy. Be sure that the windows are locked or otherwise unopenable because my husband opened his window when he was about 5 and convinced his 2 year old brother he was peter pan and could fly....(now thats a naughty kid! lol) thank goodness their dad came in a caught him as he was jumping. Wouldnt want that to happen in place of leaving the house! Sit down with them and tell them the truth. There are disgusting people out there who hurt little kids and will do terrible things to them, and what they are doing is very dangerous. You think it cant happen in a tight-knit neighborhood, think again because my own FATHER sexually abused me and my sisters. Your girls need to understand the importance of not leaving without supervision and permission. And that is said with out an ounce of attitude whatsoever! Im not berating anything you do, we are all human and ALL our children misbehave in some way that we just dont know how to deal with at first.

I had a friend who's daughter left about that age too. They had to put in a double keyed dead bolt so she couldn't open the door. It was the only thing that worked. The door jammer would work also, but I think they may figure it out eventually. I use them in windows and sliding glass door, they can be used both ways. They need a punishment for sneaking out, and told what they can do if they wake up before you. And then they need a positive reinforcement if they do the right thing.

I didn't read all of the responses, however the door alarm is a good idea and I know plenty of parents who have used them because their kids were getting out of their room at night and creating some havoc of some sort. Lowes or Home Depot have door alarms... and I would alarm their bedroom door specifically. If you have a porta potty, you can keep it in their room at night so they can use the potty if they need too, without going out of their room to do it. A baby monitor is also another good idea. Will help to hear them better if they are up and up to something. I would also ask your landlord about installing a lock up really high on the door. This should help a lot. They will learn that it is not an option to leave without you. Good luck!!

You should see if you can get an alarm system installed. My friends daughter went outside at 6:30 in the morning to play. The alarm went off and she hasn't done it again. Good luck and ignore the rude responses. Kids are creative. If you can't get an alarm I would suggest installing a lock that is higher out of there reach.

I would add a lock that they can't stand on furniture to reach. Just install one at the top of the door to lock at night. A 3 year old in my hometown recently got hit by a car and killed because he got out of his house in the middle of the night. There are so many dangers related to them getting out, I would do everything you can to protect them. I like the door alarm idea too.

When my daughter (then 2) opened our front door last winter, we immediately put a hook at the top of the door. It's about 2" from the top of the door and I don't think she can reach it with a step. We simply explained to her that she can't open the door without us. I would expect that a 3 and 4 year old who recieve the supervision and attention you describe in your edit would be able to understand this even better. Why are they opening the door? Are they just trying to go play with their friend? It seems that if you made regular playdates with the friends then they could rely on seeing their friends and you would also have something to take away if they let themselves out on their own.

If it were me I would try to use a baby monitor to allow me to hear when the did wake up earlier... Or I would just put in a top latch on the apartment door and risk getting charged a small fee when you moved out... or maybe a little alarm... As far as punishment, since they are still young, but old enough to understand I would make sure your neighbor was on board with whatever you decided to do... maybe taking away playing over there privilege until they learn they have to ask first....I would definately not let them continue to play when your neighbor calls cause thats telling them its okay, because they need to know that they have to follow the rules you have instilled..... I would make them come home immediately, explaining to them why their behavior is not allowed and what the consequences will be if they continue to disobey and make sure you follow through... I would guess they are testing their limits with you:) home you find a solution that works for you! good luck!!

Sleep on the couch one night and scare the beejeezus out of them when they try to sneak out...then put them in time-out...then if you have to, I would talk to them about how easy it would be for someone to steal them, even if they only have to go a short distance, it could still happen!

This is some serious and scary stuff M., I know as the Mommy you would never ever want to scare your kids but if nothing else has made them understand how dangerous this can be, you might just have to bust out with the above plan...good luck!

Updated

Sleep on the couch one night and scare the beejeezus out of them when they try to sneak out...then put them in time-out...then if you have to, I would talk to them about how easy it would be for someone to steal them, even if they only have to go a short distance, it could still happen!

This is some serious and scary stuff M., I know as the Mommy you would never ever want to scare your kids but if nothing else has made them understand how dangerous this can be, you might just have to bust out with the above plan...good luck!

The door alarm sounds like a good idea, I didn't think of that. The door latch was my first thought until I had read further! We have one of those (also in an apartment) and thankfully my 4 year old hasn't thought to try to unlatch it.

My next thought was to turn the doorknob around on their bedroom(s) and lock them in at night! Though I don't know how safe that would be...

The best punishment at our house is to not allow my daughter to watch TV for a day/evening after school. What do your girls absolutely love to play with? Take that away as punishment. Also talk to them about the possibility of them getting hurt without an adult around. The rule should be to ask you before going to this neighbor's house. If they don't ask and sneak out, they get their punishment.

If you do get the alarm, I would also punish them if they even attempt to go out the door without asking!

I have a couple climbers, so I know how quick they can get into things. My MIL bought I believe from the Dollar Store actually things that hooked to the door that you could turn off and on. When it was on and the door opened it made a terribly annoying sound that could wake anyone up. It might be a cheap solution to keep the little people inside or at least scare them back inside. Plus since you live in apartment, it won't leave a mark on the door. Good luck:)

Ok first I have to laugh because my twins are able to these unimaginable climbing feats and I'm glad I'm not the only one! They will drag anything they can get their hands on. I thankfully wake up before they get into to much danger/damage. They have pulled their tables, chairs, anything that could possibly hold their weight and climbed to get into everything. they climb their baby gates or shove them out of the doorway even though my husband and i have to use all of our body weight to close it!

In terms of what we do, we have door covers that the twins have figured out how to take off when they were about 16 months have gone back on, and for some reason they leave alone now. The twins will be three in November and my singleton 18 months old has never shown an inclination to try and remove the door cover. We have installed a slide bar at the top of the door hanging downwards rather than on the side. Which is a little more difficult for mine to get to, but I'm sure if they really wanted to they would.

I would sit down and tell them that they shouldn't be leaving the home with out you or any other adult that you designate. I do like the idea of creating a play date every so often for your friend down the courtyard. I'm not sure what sort of parenting style you use, but we try to use redirection and communication with our three and it seems to work. The twins are especially able to understand what we want and while they do need reminders they are pretty good about following the rules of our house.

I hope that helps, we are also in the process of moving to a house (out of the apartment we are in) that has a fully fenced backyard, I don't know if this is somethign you can afford to try and do but that may help, if you could find a place with a backyard and let them have free access to that.

S.

I didn't read the whole post or any responses....but I think this is just too cute and funny. I'd love to secretly video tape them sneaking out of the apt in the am and going over to their friends house. How sweet that they feel so welcomed in your/their friends home and that she's OK with it too.

I would recommend you talk with your girls and friend ahead of time, discuss if there is a morning that is OK with all that they come over so early. Then make a big deal at night that tomorrow morning they can go. Next night have a big open discussion that they are not allowed to go over. Perhaps set the breakfast table with cereal bowls, cereal, pour milk in cups in the frig at their level for them so they can busy themselves in the morning. They can feed their dollies or animals.

I think you need to physically prevent them from getting out by getting up and redirecting them. Since you don't always wake up before them, put a baby monitor in their room with the receiver in your room. Turn it up loud. When they get up, you should be able to hear them and wake up in time to stop them from getting out.

When we first moved onto our block, my neighbor 2 doors down to youngest would get up and got out early on their little riding toys, the police from the next block over and took them home. Here's an idea that no one mentioned. A friend of mine had twin boys who had to get up early every morning to go to daycare, the week ends my friend wanted to sleep in a little, (Nothing wrong with that) so sense her boys were used to getting up early they would automaticaly wake up early on the week ends, so she set their alarm for an hour later than usual and she had them trained to not get up before the alarm went off except to go to the bathroom, it worked like a charm for her. If any of my children that age got up and left the house, i would have swatted their butts all the way back home, because what could happen to children that young is unthinkable, and I'm sorry but safety has to come first. I know some moms blasted you about getting your butt out of bed before your kids get up, who's in charge your kids? NO you are so the time to go to bed and the time to give up mom is up to you, not your kids. As your kids get older they may try and leave the court yard, and it it only takes one time, also you may know most of the people on the court yard, do you know for sure there are no sex offenders living there or pedifiles. Kids are very resourceful when they want to do something I am amazed that with all it takes for them to get out they don't make enough noise to wake anyone up, when i became a mom, if my kids just rolled over I was awake. Just teach them the dangers of leaving the house like that, and make sure if they do sweetie to use discipline not punishment, if you are using punishment that may be why they are still doing it. J.

Install an alarm system. I believe you can buy ones that aren't like the alarm company systems they wire into your home (since you're in an apartment). Set it to "stay" so it goes off if they open the door. Interested that you didn't mention any kind of discipline for this behavior. You need to be taking things away from them for being disobedient. Get rid of their favorite toys for several days -of course let them know this will happen up front. I'm also not opposed to the occasional spanking! Often, all it takes is the threat!

Just curious as to why you can't get up before 7:30? Your kids' sleep patterns may change and they may start getting up at 6:00 or 6:30 am. When they start school, you'll most likely HAVE to get up really early. My 4 year old son has to be at his school (PreK -but an elementary school and all classes start at the same time) at 7:45 am. I know some schools that START at 7:15!

I am sorry to hear you got rude comments instead of the helpful insights you were looking for.

Try locking their bedroom door from the outside (maybe you could put a portable potty in their room if that's an issue) or maybe installing a more complicated bolt lock on the outside door... Good luck!

Get one of those locks you can put on the outside of your daughter's doors. Use it. No matter how safe you think your daughters are, or you think it is for you to leave you doors open, think again. I found out the hard way. Use the lock.

The keyed lock is an excellent idea. Another idea is to buy one of those heavy duty door jammer that you put right under a door knob? I bought a "Buddybar" door jammer and believe me, there is no way a 4 year old will be able to unlock it to get out the door. I think it cost about $50 or $60. Cheap enough to ease your mind, right?

Or how about those plastic/rubber thingies that go right over the doorknob? Little hands might have a problem getting a door open with that on the doorknob.

How serious have you been with them about this? Do they think it's funny or a game? Have you punished them for this? You really do need to. They need something taken away that they greatly value. You really should be careful here. How close are you with your neighbors? Some may call CPS on you if this keeps happening, so keep that in mind. You never know what other people are thinking.

My oldest son ONCE got out of bed mid nap while my DH and I were napping, got his shoes on and unlocked the front door and went to the park which was right around our house. I had NO idea he was capable of unlocking the front door at the time. He was about 2 years old. Needless to say after we were woken up by some neighbors knocking at the door and we retrieved him we did the following:
1) had a locksmith install deadbolts very high in the doors where, even with a chair he couldn't reach.
2) added a locking doorknob on his bedroom door (installed inside out) and locked the door while he was sleeping at night time or when we were sleeping with him at naptime. Be sure to have a pin or whatever is required in his room, up high so you don't get locked inside yourself! ( MAKE SURE YOU BABY PROOF the heck out of the room first! We had covered outlets, secure windows, anchored furniture and NOTHING in his room he could get into as well as a baby monitor where we heard him if he woke. This wasn't so that we could ignore our son, just a safety measure in case he got out of bed quietly and tried to go downstairs on his own).

Either way you need to do something, at 4 years old they don't realize the danger of sneaking out of the house. What if they get up really early and the neighbor isn't awake and they wander out of the courtyard?

Best of luck!

Hello,

I didn't read all of your replies, but I wondered if you had thought of a hook and eye. ( the little hooks that go through a little loop.) You could put one on the outside of their door, and just hook it when they are taking a nap, or when they go down for the night. It is not unreasonable to expect a 3 and 4 year old to take a nap. Or to stay in thier room until 7 am. I hope you are able to solve this problem!

N.

My 3 year old is very mechanically inclined like that also. he never got out of the house though. when he started escaping from his room we bought a solid wood door cut it at our chest level and turned the lock backwards, we also took everything out of his room except he and his brothers bed. he cant get out now. some people may say this is not right but it keeps him safe.

Yeah when it comes to kids everyone knows the answer. The rudes ones probably dont have kids. But I think I would put a dead bolt on the door that locks with a key. And of course hide the key. I think if you would tell your landlord the situation they would work with you on this. I am a landlord and have been through simular situations. Although I would immediatly bring them home and explain to them that this is wrong and they are not to leave the house without mommy or daddy, I know you say you live in a court but there are bad people every where and kids coming up missing so much. It is very scarey.....I picked a baby up off the street and went door to door until I found his sleeping parents. He almost got hit. How scarey. When kids want something they go after it, if its at the store they will try and find their way to the store. I think if it was me I would take mare precautions, guess cuz I have seen it all......good luck

Yes my child disappeared out the back door and went to make a friend in the neighborhood when she was four and a half. I was lucky the boy's mother and I became friends.
I put a latch that needed a key on the door and told her I liked the children she met but if she woke me and told me I'd feel better.