Just Found Out I'm Pregnant Again

Updated on September 23, 2010
K.H. asks from Naples, FL
40 answers

I guess I should be jumping for joy but I'm very nervous...

My daughter is turning 1 on April 5 and I just took a pregnancy test today and it's positive. No we weren't trying but were talking about trying after the holidays. I was taking my birth control pill everyday and didn't even miss a day this past month. the only thing I can think of is I was on steroids to help cure a rash. I forgot they weeken the birth control. So here I am pregnant again and wondering how hard it is going to be with a 20 month old and a newborn??? Tell me your story if you had your 2nd with a young toddler. How did you manage? What was it like going places?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for the pep talk and being honest. I feel a lot better and I'm just praying this baby will be a better sleeper than our daughter. I guess that is why I am so nervous about the closeness in age. My daughter was an extememly fussy baby. Super gassy and just didn't sleep much. She is almost one and I am still struggling with getting her to sleep through the night. The past 2 weeks she has decided to get up 2-3 times a night and scream bloody murder until I come to her aide. So my concern is that I won't get any sleep with the new baby and be worthless to everyone. I know I will manage and I have tons of family and friends to help out.

My next question is double strollers? What do you love and not love?

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R.H.

answers from Tampa on

I had mine 15 months apart - it was planned - we wanted them to be close and enjoy the same things and they do - we also wanted to do the diaper and sleepless nights phases one after the other so as not to get used to the easy life - it never seemed unmanageable to us - we loved it and wouldn't have had it any other way but I will note that we never really had any problems with either child - I don't know what it would've been like if either was hard to handle.

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J.H.

answers from Gainesville on

My first two are 17 months apart. They weren't planned that close together, but in the midst of moving, I had missed taking my pills and got pregnant with my second. I liked having them close together though, and they grew up as great friends (most of the time). People even thought they were twins after a while because their height was pretty close after a couple of years. I think you'll be fine.

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M.F.

answers from Sarasota on

My kids are 23 months apart. They are close enough in age to entertain each other, and have since they were about ages 1 and 3. I was exhausted the first few months - but then the routine sets in and all is well. Going places wasn't too difficult when they were both small - I used a baby carrier and a stroller when by youngest was an infant, and then a double stroller when she was a bit bigger. The only real difference with two was the need to plan ahead a bit more and leave a bit earlier when heading places. Having the kids so close in age to each other, I believe, really does make it a little easier on the parents once they are able to play with each other.

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H.B.

answers from Iowa City on

Congrats! I was in a similar spot because my second was born a few months premature. The boys are 21 months apart. Frankly, there's a learning curve, but you'll quickly figure it out. A few pieces of advice:
- stock up on diapers/wipes/TP/paper towels/bulky stuff before #2 arrives. Remember you'll have one in the basket of the grocery cart and one up top, so cart space is at a premium (not to mention that time is ticking until someone needs a diaper change)
- lay out tomorrow's clothes tonight
- I cook 7-10 meals on one of my days off and then freeze. (During their nap today, I made two 1-lb meatloaves, 2 pounds taco meat, 10 chicken breasts, and a stew. Makes dinner during the week much easier.)
- As soon as you can, make nap times the same (sanity saver) - 4 months for us
- As soon as you can, bathe them together - 2 months for us. My husband still hops in the tub w/both every night (youngest is 15 months). While he's doing that, I run around and get PJs for the night and clothes ready for tomorrow
- We never bought the double stroller. As soon as the #2 came home, #1 declared that he was too big for a stroller and insisted on walking. Hence, #1 became the official stroller pusher so that he didn't wander off

Truly, it's such a blessing. My boys are complete opposites of one another. We (fondly) call #1 the pansy; he's always afraid to try anything new, hiding behind my husband's legs, and crying out that #2 is about to get hurt. I haven't completely pegged #2 yet (and I haven't a way to kindly say this), but the child is just a riot and lacks all common sense - he'll try to do absolutely anything. #2 gets #1 to try new things. #2 keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh every time I see him. The interactions between the two are incredibly sweet. I never see one without the other except when #1 declares he needs "his privacy" in the bathroom. Honestly, I can't imagine having them any other way.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Houston on

My two are two years apart. It was hard at first juggling a newborn and a toddler but it does get easier with practice, and gets easier as they get older. They are close enough in age that they play together great.

My only advice is to invest in a good baby carrier- it is so much easier to wear a baby and have your hands free to nab or help a toddler than to cart around the whole stroller/car seat combo every where you go. Don't get me wrong, a double stroller is great for long trips but I much preferred my moby wrap (for infant) and ergo baby carrier (once they can hold their head up) for short trips like the park. Or even wearing the moby around the house so I could get things done. It got to where I normally only took the ergo and an umbrella stroller places like the museum & aquarium & even on a plane flight.

The other thing I used a lot was a playpen, because unfortunately you can't leave a toddler alone with a newborn. My son never tried to hurt the baby- he just tried to feed her goldfish and raisins (choking hazards) and dog-pile her. So if I needed a few minutes to myself I would put the baby in the playpen with some infant toys.

Good luck, I hope this helps!

http://www.mobywrap.com/
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

My second daughter was born on Nov. 28, 1987 and my first was on Dec. 29, 1985 so you can see they were not quite two years apart. I would not have had it any other way. They are very close and best friends. Get your daughter involved with helping with the baby. Let her give her her water bottle or get a diaper for you. I even let my daughter try to help change her sisters diaper when she wanted to help. I think two years apart is perfect. My Mom had 8 of us kids and she said twins are easier, she had two sets. But she said two years apart is perfect..

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My brother is 15 months younger than I am, and my mom said it was like having twins. She loved it! It was challanging at times, but my mom has a laid back easy going personality and tries to see the fun in everything. I think if you think about how hard this is going to be, then it will be hard, but if you think how fun it will be, then it will be easier for you. Alot of life is in your attitude. Also, your kids will have "built in" playmates!! Congratulations!!! :)

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

It's going to hard at first. My 2 oldest are 15 months apart and I cried the first week because I felt we didn't have much time with my first as an only child. That's silly, because my #2 will NEVER know what that's like. My oldest is 5 now and he doesn't even remember being the only one AND when he's the only one, he gets bored and misses his brother. They fight, but they're best friends. Once you get the hang of it, it'll be like nothing!
I also have a 3rd who is 2 years younger than #2 and sometimes I look back at how easy 2 were.
You'll just have to get good at multi tasking! The hardest time at our house is breakfast. Everyone always wants something different and they all three drink different milks!
Some tips...make them nap at the same time, plan meals ahead of time, set out clothes the night before and don't be afraid to ask for help!
These are great to start when they are young and will come in handy when they're older.
I couldn't imagine having my kids any further apart than they are. Have fun and congrats!

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B.L.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, CONGRATS!!!

You will be just fine. I had the same fears as you not too long ago. I found out I was pg when my baby was 8 months old! It was a huge shock! We had just sold our house, we were living with our parents, waiting to move 500+ miles away from home - had lost a baby in 2007, and currently had a 4 yr old and the 8 month old! We had a LOT on our plate to say the least.

Fast forward to now...we are finally settled into our new house, have a little one who will turn 5 soon, a 19 month old and a 4 month old. My days are FILLED to capacity!! lol But...it has been a blessing - all of it. No, I probably wouldn't have 'chosen' to get pregnant so soon but I knew I had to trust in Gods timing. I look at our 4 month old now and I am in awe - she is so beautiful and I couldn't imagine my life without her.

The days are getting better. The 4 month old is in a pretty good routine - we are all getting a little more sleep at night and the 19 month old LOVES LOVES LOVES The baby. Yes, we have to be careful because she likes to try and pick baby up - just like her baby dolls...but overall she loves her! I know in a year they will be bff's! People wonder how on earth they will do it - but just like every hand you are dealt in life, you make it work! And it turns out to be better than you could have imagined.

We tried a double stroller since our little one was only 15 months when the baby was born - it was a no go for us. IT was too big, I could hardly lift it into our mini van. So it went back to the store. Currently what works great for us is to have our 19 m/old in the stroller (normal graco type stroller that car seat can snap into) - she rides in there still and always enjoys it because it has the snack tray! Meanwhile we put our baby baby into the baby bijorn carrier! LOVE THAT THING!! That is what is easiest for us. But we also went and bought a comfy umbrella stroller for those days we want/need two strollers - like if its too windy for the baby to be in the carrier, we just set her in the carseat/stroller and then the older one gets the umbrella stroller. Works like a charm!

Going out is interesting no matter how many little ones you have. Our 5 yr old is a great help most of the time, though she has her own moments ;0) We don't feel like our babies have really 'slowed us down' much. Yes we have to stop and eat more often - but that comes with the territory and we are fine with it.

I think a lot of it will be in your attitude - I know when I am crabby we all have a bad day ;0) Trust me - you will be just fine!!! Congrats again!!!

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K.H.

answers from Sarasota on

K.,
I only have one little boy, but I wanted to tell you that my sister and I are 20 months apart and we are the best of friends. I'm sure there are things that will be challenging, but I am greatful we were so close in age and have always been there for each other.
Kristen

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I.S.

answers from Miami on

hi i got pregnant when my first was only 6mths. My girls are only 15 mths. I would say the first 3 years are tough especially when you hardly had any extra help. But if I made it so can you. My girls are now 3 and 4 and its awesome. It was tough economically when they both were on diapers. We hardly went out by choice. It was a hassle just to get out of the house. We still have not gone on a plane or a real vacation. Just mini vacations to the beach and the florida keys. God works in mysterious ways and believe it makes you a stronger person. God does not give you more than you can handle. congrats.

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H.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Congrats and Relax!!! You will be fine. My kids are almost the same apart and it's wonderful. They always have someone to play with. I know it's scary at first but you will feel better as you get farther along, and before you know it you will be just as excited as you were for your first baby. I wish you all the best :D!

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A.T.

answers from Miami on

I have 4 boys the youngest turned 2 in September, the next is 20 months older than him and the next is 20 months older than him...

Right now we are finding they get along so well together they tag team to drive us crazy - it is hard work but it also has a lot of benefits - they are so close...best friends...they keep each other occupied and have very similar interests, so no arguing about what to watch on TV - it's easy to decide where to go as we don't have one that has way outgrown something the little one wants to do - the two older boys share clothes as they are both the same size (although the 4 year old is almost bigger) =) (the 14 year old hates that they all gang up on him but when they are having fun it's great)

I like that they are close together it's good for me to be able to play with them all at the same time instead of having to try and cater to each one as an individual - especially working full time - at the weekends we have one on one - during the week we all have fun =)

I'm sure it will be awesome!

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K.,
Did u know that when ur taking medicine ur birth control pill is not working like shuld.thats why ur pregnant :)Bu here is my story..
My son was 7 mos old when i found out that im pregnant 4 mos!!!!!I was so upset and crying!!!but for what?I couldn't do anything with my 4 mos baby in my tummy...I had my regular period and everything thats why I did't know!!
I talked to my husband he was happy so we diside to keepthe littel angel :) and now its a girl, is going to be 2 years old in June and my oldest one is goind to be 3 in May its one year diference between them.I had no problem with anything in the biginig she was so good and calm baby,she was just eating and sleeping :)I had time to cook and do house work too.when they are close with they'r age they can play together they can do a lot of stuff together enstead when u have one kid u need to entertain him all the time!!Now i love how my kids are playng,watching tv together,she is learning everything from her big brother i love it :) sometimes they are fighting for stuff because they'r in that age but soon that is giong to be past.
So please keep the baby,maybe it gonna be littel hard onthe bigining but latter on its gonna be good for them and good for u too :)plus u want to get pregnant after the holldays and that is close so it's not making big diference!
now take care of you

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

I found out I was pregnant with my 4th when #3 was only 10 months old. I was already 4-5 weeks along when I found out too, so they were 1 week shy of exactly 18 months apart. I was devistated. The last thing I ever wanted in my entire life was to have 2 kids in diapers. That was honestly my worst fear. I didn't accept the pregnancy until I was well into my 7th month. I never emotionally bonded with the pregnancy like I had with the ones past. To top it all off, the week before I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I had made the decision to go long term with birthcontrol (read: IUD) and consider a 4th child in no less than 5 years. I was a wreck to say the least.

With all that being said...my son (after having 3 girls already) was the best surprise of my life. Having 2 in diapers is not nearly as difficult as I had imagined it would be. Life has not ended as I thought it would. Life is awesome! Is it chaotic? Absolutely! Especially with the older 2 in shcool. I find that I have much less free time than I had before he came along. Mainly because the "babies" don't nap at the same time...quite the oposite actually. One is usually waking up just as the other is going down. Granted, they are only 4 months and 23 months right now. I know that things will change as he gets a bit older. My outings are fewer. I tend to lump errands into a one-day event, where I spend most of the day running. Its just easier to do it that way because it takes so long to get everyone dressed and ready to leave the house, and its really not worth it for a quick trip to the bank that can wait till the end of the week. One thing I would advise is that you get yourself a good double stroller. I use it EVERYWHERE. I have a Sit N Stand by Baby Trend, and I would be lost without it.

Things are challenging, that is for sure. At the same time though, the joy I get from watching them grow so closely together is amazing. Life goes on, and you'll make it work for yourself and your family. Congratulations!

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L.M.

answers from Ocala on

I had an 18 month old and a new baby and had no problems. I bought a double stroller and passes to a local nature park so I would have a place to go if I started to feel stuck in the house.

It took a couple of months but eventually they both napped at the same time in the afternoon and that helped a lot!

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K.M.

answers from Memphis on

My son was 21/2 when my daughter was born. It me about 6 weeks to get the hang of handling both. It still has it's challenges but we have been able to work it out. You learn how to adapt. I am now pregnant with my 3rd (planned but I really thought it would take longer since I was still nursing) who will be born when my younger child is about 18 months. I am a little apprehensive but sure we will adapt. You will too and will be fine. Also, get as much help as possible in the early days.

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H.P.

answers from Orlando on

K.,
Congrats on your pregnancy!!!
I have 2 boys 19 mos apart. They are 9 mos & 2 yrs & 4 mos right now. It's not as hard as you think it will be. Yes, they are some changes, but it's wonderful!!! As a Mom, you will just be able to figure things out. The "hardest" thing for me is getting in & out of the car by myself...esp with the Florida heat or at night. It just takes longer. But you will do great!! My kids are boys & I know that they will be super close. My oldest's b-day is in November, so they will only be a year apart in school. I am SO happy about that. Even if one of them had been a girl, I know that they would have been super close.
I "wear" the baby when we go to the store. I have the hug-a-bub. It's just like the Moby. That was you have your hands free for your toddler. It's great for just about everywhere...Target, Publix, theme parks, etc. Now that they are getting older, I put my youngest in the front of the shopping cart & my 2 yr old in the back of the cart at Publix. I worried a lot too, but it's not as hard as you think.
I thought that having 2 would be double the work....and it's not. It's more work, but not double.
Try not to stress about it. You will do great!! I am in heaven with my boys, having the time of my life. "
I wish you a great pregnancy!!!
H.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Congrats!!! My daughter is 22 months old and my son is 2 months I also have a 4 year old so they are all about the 2 years apart...I LOVE it! They are eachothers best friends....my older two are so sweet together and they adore their baby brother. I think you will do fine! Going places takes a little getting used to but get a good double stroller and it will be fine! Congrats again!!!

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T.F.

answers from Miami on

Congratulations! I have two daughters, 3 and almost-4 - they are 18 months apart. We wanted to try for #2 close to #1, but never expected I'd get pregnant so fast. So, to answer your questions, it's hard. I don't want to scare you by saying it was hard as heck, but it was - AND I wouldn't change it if I had it to do all over again! It is still hard at the age they are at now, but when they are getting along, which is most of the time, it melts my heart to see how close they are and how much they love each other.

The most significant thing that I can remember is that when I had just the one baby I complained a lot about how difficult it was to get anything done with the baby, like grocery shopping, errands, etc....well, when the second came along I kicked myself for having felt that way and wished that I had done more when I had only one - I was inexperienced and didn't know better!

Having two in diapers was truly no big deal for me - not much different than just one and I was happy to not have to deal with diapers, get rid of them, then start all over again.

How did I manage? Well, unlike with my first baby, I learned to accept help from people I trusted. That's not to say that I had much help, but when it was offered, I accepted - a few minutes here and there to yourself can do wonders.

Going places wasn't really bad, it just took a lot more planning and patience. Make sure to have plenty to entertain the older one and snacks - I STILL can't leave the house without plenty of snacks! To be honest with you, my brain is so fried that I can't even remember it much - I'm sitting here trying to think what else I can offer you and I'm struggling.

Just know this - it's the hardest thing to do, yet the most rewarding. Have patience, take deep breaths and take a few minutes for yourself when you can. Don't sweat the small stuff - learn to let go of control over everything because things will happen and you can deal with it. I'm sorry I'm not a big help; I hope something I said helps, though. Best wishes!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

My first three were all a year apart. So I had a 2 year old, 1 year old and
a newborn. We wanted them close so we were happy. It is just a
matter of staying organized. We did babies. Age gap between 3 and4
was four years. In some ways it was harder because everything baby
was gone. However, it was exciting for us and for the kids to have
a baby around again.

Having them close helps with the jealousy issue. Usually they are too
young to understand.

There will be days when you want to pull your hair out but when they
are grown they will be very close. Congraulations and get ready for
the ride of your life!!!!

Updated

My first three were all a year apart. So I had a 2 year old, 1 year old and
a newborn. We wanted them close so we were happy. It is just a
matter of staying organized. We did babies. Age gap between 3 and4
was four years. In some ways it was harder because everything baby
was gone. However, it was exciting for us and for the kids to have
a baby around again.

Having them close helps with the jealousy issue. Usually they are too
young to understand.

There will be days when you want to pull your hair out but when they
are grown they will be very close. Congraulations and get ready for
the ride of your life!!!!

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C.O.

answers from Miami on

it's understandable to be nervous, But you will love it! My two children are 17 months apart and it is the best. We wanted to have our children close in age because then they will enjoy the same things at the same time in your life.
You won't hear one say they're board with something while the other is too young to play. Family vacations will be better- they'll both be at the same interest level, helping them with schoolwork will be easier- 1 year apart in school. Even watching a movie is easier- like the same movies!

The first 6 months of having the newborn is pretty easy- put the newborn in a harness on you and you can do what you need with your toddler.
The second 6 months they'll be crawling but napping better- so some parts harder and some easier.
Once the youngest is 1.5 years it get's easier everyday!

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C.D.

answers from Orlando on

I just had my 2nd child 16 days before his sisters 2nd birthday. I can tell you that it has been very interesting for us all. He is officially 5 weeks old sunday. My daughter although not helpful is very sweet to her baby brother and loves to try and play with him. I can say that I was very nervous but now I we are all fine and mostly loving life. Although I do miss my sleep. Good luck with our new baby and I am sure you will do a wonderful job. Other wise you wouldnt be worried. Congrats!

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B.M.

answers from Orlando on

I could have written this 10 years ago (almost to the dates, my daughter's birthday is April 13, and I took a pregnancy test about 2 weeks before her birthday). I was very upset/nervous during that time, as I was concerned that it would be very difficult to have two small children so close in age.

It was not always easy, but our second daughter has brought so much joy into our family, that the tough times certainly outweigh the positive. My older daughter is very close to her father, in part, I believe, because he took care of her while I provided baby care. They both needed my attention, and I could not always give each what they needed. I think, as a mother, this was the hardest part for me, and that my older daughter is more likely to turn to her father, even now, 10 years later.

There is some competitiveness because they are close in age, and only one grade apart in school. I try to channel it so it is positive competition.

Financially, it can be difficult, because they are often overlapping in stages, whether it was diapers, or now activities. However, that is also part of the joy. They are very different, but they always have companionship, friendship and love.

Are things always perfect? No. Would I change anything? NO! I couldn't be happier with my family, just the way it is. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I hope that you don't spend too much time being stressed, and that instead you find the happiness in the situation you have been placed in. From my experience, you will find that you are very lucky indeed!

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K.C.

answers from Tampa on

My son and daughter are also exactly 20 months apart( my son will be 6 in a week and my daughter is now 4) I am not gonna lie and say its been a bed of roses, b/c it has def. been hard. They are always bickering(which could also be b/c they ARE brother and sister). But it has its bonuses too. They always have someone to play with, a constant friend. You dont forgot about all that baby stuff b/c it's still fresh in your mind. You still have all the clothes/toys/changing table/strollers etc from your first so you dont have to get new baby stuff.
When my 2nd was first born I had a hard time going places with them both, especially by myself. My older child was not yet two, so he still liked to be carried places and I often found myself carrying a infant care seat and a 28 lb child!!
But have faith, you will def. figure it out and find your nitch:) Good Luck!!

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

girl, 20 months is not a big deal, it's actually better the closer kids are(mine are 23 months apart) I have met bunch of mommies lately who's kids are 11, 12 and 13 months apart .... it's a trend now or something. Congrats!!!!!!!

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K.H.

answers from Miami on

It is very scary when you find out you are pregnant with another child and not expecting it. This happened to me too.

My oldest was 22months old when I found out I was pregnant with my second/youngest child. I was so very scared, and to be honest, I did not want another child. I did not think that I could handle two. I was just getting used to the ONE.

But... alas, I did have her, and it was difficult at first, because the first child doesn't quite understand why mommy (or daddy) cannot give him/her their undivided attention. It all works out by the end of the day, week, month or year!!!

Before the baby is born, make certain to include your child now in the preparations for the new baby... decorating, buying new items, even the prenatal appointments. I found that it was an easier transition for my oldest because she knew that the baby I was carrying was "our" baby not just mine. She was even present during labor and delivery. This will stop any jealousy or sibling rivalry, but it allows your child to be involved and feel like he/she is part of the changes in his/her family structure not just someone watching it happen.

Once baby is born, you will have to carry two diaper bags or ONE large one to suffice the toddler/preschooler (who may still be potty training or just beginning) and the new baby. A double stroller will be a necessity. You will need to make a conscious effort to make special time with your first child to ensure him/her of that he/she is still special.

You will be more tired this time around due to the fact that both children will not likely take naps at the same time, but in the end, you will make it through. Don't forget to take prenatal vitamins (even after the baby is born) and B-12 ---this provides excellent energy!

You will be FINE! You will be GREAT! You will learn how to juggle the two and give them both the love and attention they both need and desire!

Just don't forget to take a little time for yourself whenever possible! You must take care of yourself in order to take care of both them!

Good Luck (even though you don't need it)!

J.D.

answers from Lubbock on

congrates hun. my son is turning 2 years old on december 30th, and me and my husband were planning on having a 2nd baby but we were waiting. well we tried for a couple months and nothing. i was on the depo shot for a year and a half but we gave up on trying for a little while. well we were at walmart and i felt different like i was swetting, wanting to use the bathroom constantly, hungry, craving bad for weird things and very moody. so i took 3 tests that night with my husband being there holding it nervously and he looked at me and smiled and i said what? and he showed me and it was positive. this was 5 weeks ago. but turns out im now 10 weeks. im happy and hoping its a girl but whatever it is ill be greatful for. im due april 17th 2011. im experiencing diffferent cravings and nausa when i never had any of those with my first born. so it may be a girl. im also showing much faster which is cool but twins run in both our families so please pray no twins just one baby only haha but best of luck to u and im happy for u

L.H.

answers from Savannah on

You'll do great! Please don't worry! My boys are 19 months apart and I loooooove it!!

Double strollers are a God-send. I have a cheap one from Once-Upon-A-Child and I love it.

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D.S.

answers from Charleston on

Well as far as having two that are close in age my oldest just turned 2 in march and my youngest is almost 10 months old!!! It isn't always easy but it's worth it. Now that Rayven is older him and Cole make great playmates!!! They share a room and they very quickly adjusted to each other waking up and usually will sleep through the other fussing. Not to mention Cole loves to try and help with his brother and always has. And going places is about the same as before....just got a bigger diaper bag so all of both of their stuff fits in one bag and got a double stroller and we're set! The double stroller is AWESOME by the way. The on we have folds up the same size a regular stroller does and we put in the trunk of our Mazda and it definately comes in handy!!!!! Congrats, and Good Luck!!!!!!

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A.L.

answers from Daytona Beach on

I had mine a little further apart, but a friend of mine had two about 11 months apart. It's tough with a younger or older toddler. She mostly managed through with patience & good humor. Nervous about a new pregnancy is understandable, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Their being so close in age makes them all that much more likely to really connect & be close friends, plus it means that you gets the hard toddler years over that much faster. It's important that you pay even closer attention to your diet with this new pregnancy as your body hasn't completely recovered from the last. No scary problems, but you could get sick easier & more fatigued if you don't get those nutrients & who needs that with a cute 1 year old to chase after? Every motherhood adventure has it's ups & downs. Just take a deep breath & make sure to go catch all the naps you can with your little one.

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A.H.

answers from Boston on

My kids are 20 months apart exactly, my son is now 4 months old. It was a little challenging at first but I'm going out with the both of them no problem now. Its just a matter of logistics and practice. I plan out every trip however small it is, the timing is about going in between feedings with the baby. He is good because he naps a lot so when I take my daughter to the park he will just sleep in his carseat.

My daughter used to be tough to go anywhere with even alone because she was always running off so I was worried about having two. She is much better now and listens more and lets me hold her hand when we're walking somewhere, then I'm carrying the carseat in the other hand. I can carry both of them if I have to, at least for a short distance. Your arm muscles will get much stronger. If I go to a store I look for the carts with the little car on the front that she can ride in. I also have a double stroller for malls which is perfect.

You will probably find the second baby to be much easier, at least I did. You feel more confident that you know what you're doing and what to expect. And it wasn't that long ago that your first was a baby so you probably have all the gear. You will manage just fine. Enjoy your babies!

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C.H.

answers from Miami on

I'm in the same exact situation. My son will b one in aug and just found out that I am pregnant, How r u dealing with it?

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

The best part is that they are close together in age and will be friends (hopefully) and play together. Your youngest will grow up and hit milestones faster because they want to be like big sister.

It is hard, both will be in diapers. Mine are 23 months apart. I now have just the 1 1/2 yr old in diapers, I can't wait to be done! Our son adjusted pretty well. Make sure you have special time with your daughter throughout the day when the new one is napping. Have things ready at hand so you don't have to stop feeding the newborn. Baby proof the house before the little one comes so your daughter is used to it and can't get into anything while you are feeding the little one.

I think the hardest part was my son wanted to play with this new person but she was to little and didn't move. I let him hold her w/me, we transitioned to the bottle after a month and he would help hold her bottle. He wanted to be a part of things. She is going to be one tough girl, they rough ouse all the time now and she wants to do everything he does. Its so much fun to sit back and watch thme interact together.

You must get a double stroller. They are bulky, we got the Graco DuoGlider. I used it everywhere we went, it makes it easier because you aren't trying to carry/hold 2 kids.

I had to find a new grocery store to shop at. It's 2 miles further from the house so not to bad but the store I went to for years didn't have the kid carts and weren't getting them. While she was in her infant carrier I put her sideways in the open cart area and he was in the kid seat. Once she was out of the carrier is when we changed stores.

Congratulations!

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C.B.

answers from Des Moines on

My children were born 12 months and 18 days apart. My first was a boy and my second was a girl. I was on bed rest for the last 2 months of my pregnancy with my daughter. Being at home, by myself, with a 10 month old, while on bed rest was not fun! But...I managed! The first couple of years were tough, but I got through them. My best friend had twins that are 5 weeks younger than my oldest. She and I used to debate weather it was harder to have twins, or to have two so close together! Her girls would both go through a phase together, while I had to deal with one going through a phase, followed by the other going through the same phase right after! We never could decide which way was better! lol The long and the short of it is: I made it and so will you! They are 9 and 10 now, and they fight like cats and dogs, but they love each other and take care of each other.

As for a double stroller: I had the front to back one while my friend had the side-by-side one. We called mine the limo and hers the Hummer. We both agreed that the front to back one was easier to maneuver and that it was far easier to use in stores. Plus, it fit in the trunk a lot easier. Since your older one will still be so young, I wouldn't get the double stroller where the older child stands and the younger one sits. If I were you, I'd get the ones designed for twins, where they both sit. Good luck with all of this! If I can do it, anyone can! lol

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M.H.

answers from Melbourne on

I had a daughter first then when she was 3 I had another daughter then 13 months later a son. It's hectic but with God's help you get thru it. I hope you have grandparents or other relatives near to help.

Learn all you can about probiotics. That may help the little one with gas. Probiotics will help with everything!
Good Luck and God Bless

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T.P.

answers from Tampa on

Congratulations first of all! So, it really depends on the new baby. We had our 2nd daughter when our first was 17 1/2 months old, which we planned sort of :-) Our second was and still is a very mellow baby so the adjustment for us was easy. The most important thing is giving your daughter lots of time and attention and having her help you with the new baby. We gave our oldest a gift from her new sister and vice versa when they met for the first time. We had also tried to prepare her for the new baby so she was excited.
As for going places, etc. it takes longer to get out the door and as with any newborn, it's more challenging because of feedings, etc, but for the most part it's seemed much easier to me and less daunting than going out with my first daughter as an infant, because it was all so new. You'll find that this time, things will seem easier in a lot of ways. Our first daughter was also fairly collicky and fussy where, as I said, our second was a piece of cake.
They are now 14 months and 31 months and have a great time playing together. There are a lot of benefits to having them close together which you'll see. I also felt like my older daughter being a little younger didn't feel like her life was disrupted as much by her new sister. Whereas an older child can remember what life was like before baby and getting all your undivided attention, I don't think she can really remember a life without her sister.
Good luck to you and congratulations again on this wonderful blessing!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

My oldest was 13 months when my second son was born. Things are difficult when you have "two under two" and people make cracks about your "Irish twins," but really it's not as difficult as it seems like it may be. You will need a good double stroller. I heartily recommend the Phil and Ted's, which allows the youngest to lay down at first and then adapts to having two sit one behind the other. My oldest (now 3 1/2) has always been interested in helping mommy and "teaching" his baby brother. They are very close and seem generally pretty happy that they have each other.

The worst of this was my pregnancy with #2, when it was physically very difficult to pick up my oldest and pretty impossible to explain to him that he was about to become a big brother. He will never really remember being an only child. In some ways, this is a good thing and they really have very little jealousy between each other.

My concern for you is the possible effect of the birth control on your embryo... please check with your doctor about the possibility of birth defects. I am very, very fortunate that both my children are healthy, but I am unsure of how I could have managed if one of the children was born with a health issue.

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J.C.

answers from Florence on

Okay well I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter when my oldest was 6 months old. No we didn't plan it but we didn't prevent it either. I now know that I was crazy because I stayed exhausted the entire time I was pregnant. The whole 9 months. But at first it was hard having a 15 month old and a newborn but my husband was wonderful and helped out alot. I believe it really helps when you have a good support system. We quickly got into a routine and now it has been pretty easy. Our oldest daughter is 2 and our second daughter will be 2 in June. They fight of course but they are really close to each other and love each other very much. I don't regret having them that close because they have a strong bond. You just got to get into a groove and also when the new baby gets older, it gets so much easier. At least it has for me. FYI I am now pregnant with our last child and he is due in July. Cora will be 2 in June so there will only be 2 years between them. So I am almost going through the same situation again but I am not worried. Moms can handle anything. Also try to get a break now and again if possible. It helps that I work and they go to daycare. Also going places was not that easy at first. We started out with two buggies at the grocery store but then we got smart and put our oldest one in the stroller. Also be sure if you are breastfeeding, you pump plenty of milk because it seemed that one bottle was not enough for my daughter. When they get older, it is alot easier to shop. Just hang in there and enjoy it. Good luck with everything and if ever need any advice, just ask.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I have 3 kids all 2 1/2 years apart , not as close together as yours will be but not to far off. The first few weeks were a bit of a challenge but to be honest it really has not been that bad , you just adapt because you have to , as your child will still only be 20 months you will probably need a double stroller for those times when you are in a mall etc , I didn't bother as the age gap was a little bigger and my eldest (when number 2 came) was really into walking so it wasn't a problem. I have a friend who had her 2nd when her first was 11 months and he wasn't walking , she also coped VERY well and I really admire her because I don't think I could have done that.

Congratulations

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