If you're pregnant, what are all the things you wish some one would have told you before this point in your pregnancy? If your kids are grown and out of the house, what are all the thins you wish some one would have told you before this point in their life?
Here are mine:
1) Even if you stay with the same doctor and hospital all throughout your pregnancy, there is no guarantee that you will deliver at that hospital with that doctor. I have always gone to Fairview because it's the closet clinic. When I discovered I was pregnant at 4-5 weeks, I picked a family practitioner at that clinic and stayed with her throughout the entire pregnancy. However, when the time came for me to deliver the maternity ward at the Fairview hospital was completely full and I was transferred to an Alina hospital and my son was delivered by a man I had never met before.
2) Even though every one tells you that the pain ends as soon as the baby is born... The pain doesn't really end for a while. When the doctors are pushing on your tummy to help you deliver the afterbirth, that hurts. After the placenta is delivered, the pain ends... Unless you move... or nurse the baby.
3) "Pregnancy brain" lasts forever.
4) The brown line that forms during pregnancy (The one that goes from your belly button to your pelvic region) stays there forever.
5) Sex isn't as pleasurable after having a baby, even after the pain goes away (For me anyway).
Alright, I think that's all for me so far. Though I'm sure there are plenty more that my ever-lasting pregnancy brain won't let me remember.
I wish someone would have told me how hard it is to let go and let them make their own mistakes and live their own lives apart from you.
I wish someone had told me that the bigger they get, the more you worry for them.
I wish someone had told me how very fast they grow up.
I'll agree with the poster's 1 and 3, but the rest wasn't true for me :-). It was fun reading all the responses here. I think the bottom line is you don't know what you're in for until you've tried it, and no matter how hard it is it is still SO worth it.
Labor is the easy part!
=0)
1. Once you become a parent you are genuinely and fundamentally "changed" as a person- you see things differently, react differently and plan differently and that's okay!
2. You may drop the "baby weight", but your body shape will change (wish I hadn't save those jeans for so long)
3. Your spouse CAN parent your baby just as well as you can- different doesn't mean "wrong"
4. Your mother and MIL are (in my case anyway) great resources... don't assume that they say things in a negative way. They truly have "been there, done that"
5. Your spouse will never be sexier than when he/she is snuggled on the couch with your child reading books or being silly
6. Birth plans are useless and a waste of time! When you're in labor or delivering it's about the health of you and the baby... the rest is irrelevant
7. Hire a housekeeper if you can... I thought I could "do it all" and that's simply not true. I don't need new clothes, but need clean ones! I can spend my Saturdays doing laundry or with my family... easy choice.
1. Trust your mommy instincts (no matter how new they might be!).
2. Dressing an infant is very similar to putting clothing and shoes onto an octopus.
3. Peanut butter on a tortilla can be eaten at any (sleep deprived) time of the night and day.
4. Dads do things "differently" but that's OK.
5. It's all small stuff so don't sweat it.
It's not what I wished someone would have told me, it's what I wished I would have listened to...
There are so many right ways to do things. If your child is healthy, happy, fed, dry and loved, you're doing something right. Go with what works and don't worry about how everyone says it's supposed to be.
1. I wished someone would have told me that when it is time to push it feels very much like you need to go poop! I had a room full of people and was terrified at the thought of pooping in front of everyone. By the time the nurse realized I was so far along, I gave one push and she was out!
2. No matter how many books you read, you generally know in your gut what is right. Learn to listen to yourself.
3. Doctors don't have all the right answers. Ask questions, be insistent. Don't let them turn your baby into a science project because they don't know what is wrong, and don't let them send you and your baby with a 103 fever home because they don't know what is wrong.
4. The so-called "terrible-twos" are nothing compared to threes.
5. You don't have to be everything to everyone. Just by being there with your little ones you already are.
-Parenting only shapes so much with a child. Yes, you play an important role but many factors are luck of the draw. Sometimes you get a child with an easy personality, sometimes you don't. Same with colic and other conditions. You haven't done anything wrong if you end up with a spirited child or one that's fussy.
-All of the controversy about natural birth vs. medication, breastfeed vs. bottlefeed becomes a non-issue once your kids are on the move and growing up. By the time your child is in preschool, no one will ask how your kids were born or fed as babies. Don't sweat these issues. Do what you think is right and don't take grief from those who disagree.
-Don't sweat the small stuff. If your child wants to eat only peanut butter sandwiches for a week, all will be fine.
-You can do aerobics and crunches all day long and not lose the extra tummy skin after having kids. There's a reason celebs have those c-sections; because celebrity doctors do tummy tucks at the same time. Accept the new you and the fact that you earned that "bonus" skin. :)
I. That I would never get a full nights sleep again
2. That the urge to push feels like a bowel movement
3. That when people offer to babysit a baby, it's not an imposition to take them up on it. I never took anybody up on it, thinking they were just being nice. Now I know they just wanted to share in my joy. I could've gotten so much more sleep!
Ooh, there are actually many!
First of all, I wholeheartedly agree with the "massage" of the tummy afterwards!! Why do they call it that?! It's not a massage, it's a form of torture!! LOL! Also, the cramping after the baby's born. With my first, it was really crampy. Second was pretty bad and by the time my third was born, I swore there was another baby in there and I was in labor again!!
I have given birth 4 times (youngest is almost 2) and my brown line is gone!! There's still hope
Ok, I wish someone would have told me that my kids WOULD eventually grow up and my job of SAHM would become lamost obsolete. I mean, I knew it would happen, but it came so fast!! I was unprepared to re-enter the job market. I should have been working on some marketable skills during my time at home with them, so I could have gotten a job once they were in school. I guess the surprise pregnancy delayed that, but still.....
I also wish someone would have told me that Kegels' are VERY important!! Don't wait until your uterus is falling out to take the exercises seriously.
A lady TRIED to tell me that how ever hard having three kids in three years was (two toddlers and a baby), that it would get harder. I nearly choked her at the time, but she was kind of right. It's a different hard, but you think once they are self-sufficient, it's all good. It's just a different kind of stress - activities and running around, friends, teaching responsibility, finding time between said activities to have a life with your husband......ok that last one never changes..LOL!
I wish someone would have told me that it was a "must" to accept or ask for help. I still have that problem. New moms (or ones isolated from family due to geography ;) need to know that people honestly do want to help. Don't think you can do it all on your own. EVERYONE needs help once in awhile. It's not a sign of weakness or that you can't handle it. I get sad when I offer help to people and they never take me up on it. I can only imagine others feel the same. In general, I think we all do want to help each other. Ask for it. Accept it when it comes!!!!
Great post!!!
Yeah, but even if you'd've known ALL those things, you'd've done it anyway!
:)
1- pregnancy brain lasts forever
2- Your feet/hips/ribs/will all get bigger and stay that way
3- baby proofing everything is a waste of time they still get bumps and bruises
4- The older they get the more you worry
i wish someone had warned me about how incredibly powerful hormones are, and that i wouldnt be crazy forever. i was really scared post-partum, i wish i had known it would pass.
First of all - I LOVED this! I just got done reading all of the responses and laughed, cried and remembered! Thanks for posting!
Here's mine:
Follow your instincts - 99.9% of the time you will be right - do what YOU think is the right thing not what other people expect you to do....
When your baby is stuck and they threaten to do a 2nd c-section, pushing really hard will indeed deliver your baby but it will also break every blood vessel in your face and eyes and it takes several days for the aftermath to fade....
They do eventually sleep all the way through the night even if it takes 5 years...
That hearing somebody call you Mommy really can melt your heart even on the worst days....
That I would cry harder than my babies when they got their shots....
Cleanliness if relative....
Just a few to add to what I wholeheartedly agreed with from everyone else!
1. That being a SAHM with no friends is so very hard.
2. That hearing "i don't love you mommy" would hurt so much
3. That I couldn't have sex for 6wks after the baby was born! *that's hard to do in my opinion lol*
Doesn't really deal with babies/pregnancy
But I wish someone would have told me that moving away from my home town was a bad idea.
My kids are grown and my only regret is that I put work and a career before them. I wish I could have worked from home around their schedules. They really do grow up too fast and I missed out on some of their soccer games and other events. I was able to be at home with them for their first 3 years of life, however, they really do need you just as much (and perhaps even more) when they are in grade school and high school. --R. H.
If you dislike the inlaws before marriage, you will DESPISE them way more after you are one of the family. It does not get better with time.
You are not responsible for saving anyone other than yourself(and kids) when in an abusive home. At 18, I was given the chance to move out of state, but I felt like I had to help take care of a 50year old relative who was being abused and a friend with a mental illness. I should have cut ties and never looked back. Seriously.
Pregnancy is exhausting and it is very hard to work through it.
Cute question : ) I think on number 5 is somewhat mental. It was for me. I'm trying to get over it. Took about a year actually.
What I wish someone told me:
Just because it took the first baby a year to sleep through the night doesn't mean it will take the second baby that long. I almost didn't have another child because I didn't know if I could go through that again. Lack of sleep is a form of torture. So all throughout my second pregnancy I was slightly terrified that I would have to go through that again. However, after only 1 month she was sleeping through the night : ) She's two and has never had any sleep issues. Even hard to wake her up in the mornings. Goes to bed on que. God doesn't give us more than we can handle is the saying : ) He knows I would have turned into a nutjob if I had to go through that again.
Also, I never knew they had so much stuff that you need to keep track of that they bring home from school. All those papers and stuff to sign!
If you are getting induced don't go walk and walk and walk to make it happen on it's own. Go to sleep. You need that rest!
DO NOT plan on sleeping at all for the first 3 months. You are going to feel like you have the flu eventually and everything will hurt because of the lack of sleep!
The hardest thing isn't labor with having a baby.... It's watching them walk into kindergarten.
The first day you turn them over to daycare, assuming you do, is going to rip your heart out.
Every little cry is going to throw you into a tizzy of trying to figure out what is wrong at first and every time you think they feel "warm" you'll be taking that childs temp. he he
Two of my children have stuck things up their nose, yep you read that right, alot of my friends have had their children do it too. KIDS! and I couldn't retrieve it ... and if your dr office is closed the ER doesn't find this a priority in the slightest by the way. So you'll be sitting there for hours for them to retrieve the bead. lmao
I'll think of more and add later.
I am pregnant with my first child right now and I'm so glad I came across this! although I dont have any advice now, I know one thing I wish someone would have told me is that...
when you become pregnant, you will be gassier than ever, and (for me anyways) if you burp, it can usually help to ease an upset stomach
and
you will have hair grow in random places on your body ie chin, upper lip, stomach and it will appear out of nowhere. one day you wont have anything, the next day you will have a black hair an inch long!
Just one thing...slow down, take your time, and enjoy every minute of every stage...it's going to be over before you know it.
No one can tell you these things, because they are different for everyone!
I delivered with the same midwife (at the same hospital) that I had been seeing. No one pushed on my tummy afterwards. The brown line did go away. Sex, eventually, is better than ever! My body is stronger and more beautiful than ever, and I do fit into the same size jeans, shoes, and a bigger cup bra.
Every year of life is better. I can hardly wait to start my 50s next month! My daughter turns 9 and she is getting more beautiful, fun, smart, and strong every year, too!
Please don't tell me that pregnancy brain lasts forever! I'm doomed!
However, my brown line disappeared about 3 months after having my son. I think that is different for everyone.
I wish someone told me that the first night after delivering, your body goes through a "flush phase" and you pee like you've never peed before. I must have been up about 12 times my first night.
I also wish someone told me about "granny panties" for your hospital stay after delivery.....'nuff said. I wish I never see a pair of disposable underwear again.
1. It hurts when they push on your belly to make the uterus shrink back down after baby is born (that was worse than labor pains for me!)
2. My brown line went away; didn't come back during 2nd pregnancy
3. Boobs will get to be the size of cantalopes (I was an A/B pre-pregnancy) even if you don't nurse; it's PAINFUL! and then when you shrink up lose the weight (even if it's not all the weight), you will no longer be able to "fill" the bras you had pre-pregnancy. I cannot fill an A anymore =( so sad.
