What You Wish You Had Known About Being Pregnant...

Congrats on being pregnant!

I wish someone had told me NOT to read so many pregnancy books. When you get down to it, there's not a ton you can control about pregnancy -- eat well, don't drink alcohol, limit caffeine, exercise moderately and get sleep. INSTEAD, I wish I would have read books about actually being a MOTHER! I remember reading a sleep book, in tears, while patting my 3 month old on his back trying to get him to sleep! Good to think about what you're going to do after the baby comes before its a crisis!

I havaent seen this response, But I wore a bra through out my whole pregnancy with all three of my children I am now 47 and my breast do no sag at all. I also wear a bra most of the time to bed at night. I wore a bra night and day with my pregnancy.

I wish I'd known about the discussion boards at www.mothering.com (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/)...before my son was 8 months old!!! What a wonderful wealth of information for pregnancy, birth and all things motherhood!

Things I wish I'd known the first time I was pregnant:

Labor doesn't have to hurt.
(used Hypnobabies birth method for my third, and my labor didn't hurt, it was great)http://hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=3815

I wish I'd known that "happy baby = happy mommy" instead of struggling to live up to the popular idea that "happy mommy = happy baby".

Medical professionals aren't always correct and it is ok to say no to them.
(small example - they told me my second baby would be 7lb by ultrasound measurements, he was only 5lb - I knew he was small but didn't stand up for myself like I should have :( )

I wish I had known that my baby sleeping at the nurses station instead of in my hosp.room was being left too long & lost weight from missing feedings. (nurses say you need to rest and so they don't wake the baby to breastfeed, but they don't realize the simple fact that you can bf the baby while dozing yourself and it doesn't wake you up much)

A baby doesn't cry for no reason. There's nothing in them they need to 'cry out'. After three kids I have realized, there has never been a time one of them cried that they didn't have a reason. Sometimes I couldn't figure it out but that didn't mean it wasn't there.

When I was fed up with lack of sleep, I wish I'd realized I could nurse the baby lying on my side and *wow, newsflash* SLEEP while the baby feeds! What a great discovery I finally figured out with my third, hee hee.

I wish I'd known about www.kellymom.com before I started hearing all kinds of "advice" about breastfeeding.

I wish I'd read this article before my first labor ever started, it would have saved me a lot of stress and worry. http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/pelvis.asp

I wish I'd realized that my OB was working for me, like an employee, and he wasn't my boss. I ended up letting him make some choices that should have been mine to make, but he didn't tell me that, he just told me what he wanted me to do. So If you feel dissatisfied with your care or the fit just isn't clicking, look for someone else. They have a profound effect on your birth - a day you will always remember, but they will easily forget. It's important to have a care provider that is on the same page as you & it is very much worth the hassle of switching.

oh, how I wish I had gotten this book before my first. http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Womans-Guide-Better-Birth/...

Congrats and best of luck to you!

Hi J.,

Wow, what a response!! I'll keep it short.

Always carry a snack with you!! I fainted a couple of times because I got a little to hungry while I was pregnant. Especially 1st trimester.

My sister came up with the idea to take Depends Undergarmets to the hospital so she didn't have to wear the ridiculous mesh panties and HUGE pads they give you there.

Contractions feel just like menstual cramps. Why didn't anyone tell me that? Also, if you are normally very crampy during your period before being pregnant, you will be way less crampy after you've been pregnant! yea!!

You don't have to vaccinate your baby. It's pretty much assumed by the medical world that you will be vaccinating but you don't have to. I wish someone would have told me that so I could have been doing my research while I was pregnant. They will come to your room when the baby is 1 day old for thier first vaccine! Here is a website you can start your research at www.vaclib.org/index.htm

Oh, here is a big one. If you are going to be induced ore even if you feel like you are going into labor. EAT BEFORE YOU GO!! I was afraid if I had eaten recently they wouldn't let me come in to be induced. So I was miserable and starving before they even started the pitocin but once you are in the room they won't let you eat anything but ice chips or popcicles.

Hope this helps! God bless you and your pregnancy! Oh yeah, get a baby book so you can get started recording stuff, you won't have as much time (or energy)after the little one arrives!

I don't get root canals without pain relief and I wouldn't recommend having a baby without pain relief.
It's ok to send the baby to the nursery at the hospital for a while so you can get some rest. I am pregnant with my 5th child. I promise your kid will not bond with a nurse more than you because you chose to get a few hours of sleep after producing a human being. It is great, life-changing, etc....but it's also tiring so get rest when you can. Tell your husband to expect your hormones to make you emotional and maybe even irrational sometimes. Tell him so he can expect it and brace for it and not hold you accountable for dumb stuff you say. That's when you need your husband more than ever so tell him early that you will need to be treated like a queen. I've had some easy deliveries and some easy recoveries and some tough ones. Each child is different. Some sleep a lot and some don't. Just rest when you can. It makes all the difference in the world to rest. More important than cleaning. Think about how you want life to be after the baby is born. Will you go back to work? Then you need to research childcare. Will you stay home? Then I'd look in to a group like the Mom's Club. It's great to be around other moms and get out of the house for playdates, potlucks, mom's night out. No matter what, have fun as much as you can. Go for walks with baby. Exercise always makes you feel better, so does sunshine.
For tough babies, I'd recommend battery operated swings and there is a CD that is awesome for fussy babies, Heartbeat Lullabies(it's sometimes hard to find in stores but you can find it on Amazon.) Way more effective than any other lullaby CD. So worth it if you need it.
Not trying to be negative at all. Just helpful. I found that when I had a difficult baby that most other moms I talked to didn't understand. When I was lucky enough with my 3rd and 4th children to have easy babies that slept a lot, I was understanding how much easier the other moms had it and why they didn't understand what it was like to have a tough baby. People sometimes try to tell you that it's just your inexperience with babies that's causing the baby to fuss. Not true. Different children are just different. If you need a break sometimes, just leave baby with dad or grandma and go to the library, or take a nap, or a nice bath. If grandma offers to babysit, let her and go on a date with your husband.
Remember that babies cry. That's the only way they can communicate. If you've changed baby, fed baby and baby is still fussy (and not sick) just know that you've done all you can and you may have a fusser. Try burping, try a nap, try a swing, a walk, a lullaby. But don't feel like it's your fault or you aren't a good mother. You are a good mother because you want to help and do what is best. But sometimes babies will cry and it does get easier. Celebrate everything. Read. Always talk to baby. It will help with picking up language. Do what you feel is best. I'm sure you'll do great.

J.,
Congratulations! (You'll be hearing a lot of that! lol)

I am on my fourth pregnancy, due in Dec. I read several responses, and I think I may read the rest tomorrow!

Meanwhile, a few of the things I wish I'd known sooner are:

1. When the baby arrives, let the father do as much as he is willing to do--WITHOUT YOUR SUPERVISION (this was my biggest mistake--trying to tell him how to do everything!). Tell yourself, "it's not just MY baby, it is OUR baby." You're learning to be parents together. The father needs to have time to bond with his child, too.
2. Keep your guy informed about what to expect, and be clear about what you'd like from him. Many men don't really realize that their pregnant partner will seem like a different woman some days--and that she will be a MOTHER after the birth! You *may or may not* be moody, irritable, teary and emotional, sensitive, or joyous during and for at least a few months after pregnancy--and some of your reactions may surprise both of you. It's the hormones; it doesn't matter how easygoing or down-to-earth you normally are (or aren't)! You might cry when you hear love songs or laugh at every stupid commercial; you might get mad about things that never bothered you before. Most of it will pass--and it will help if he's understanding when it happens.
3. Find out if the hospital provides a comfortable spot for your husband/boyfriend to sleep. This is a good question for him to ask a nurse when things aren't too hectic. When we had our first child, my poor husband spent two nights scrunched up on a little loveseat in my hospital room before a nurse finally thought to tell us that it was a pull-out sleeper couch!
4. Make sure you always have an advocate with you whom you trust and make sure they know what you want (the baby's father, a friend, your mom or sister, a doula, etc.). Nurses (and even doctors) will sometimes ask you important questions while you are half-asleep, drugged from a painkiller, distracted, or otherwise "out of it." If you have an advocate, they can clarify the question and/or answer, so that you don't end up with a decision you didn't really want!
5. After you have the baby, you will probably be wearing the same size you did at around 5 or 6 months--NOT your pre-pregnancy clothes! The first time, my husband had to run home and bring back different clothes for me than what I'd packed.
6. Get a carseat early. In most (maybe all) states, you cannot leave the hospital or birthing center with the baby in a car unless you have a carseat. Make sure you know how to put it in, adjust it, and take it out before the baby comes--you don't want to be unsure about it the day you're leaving the hospital.
7. About 3 months in advance, start making double batches of dinners so that you can freeze one batch. Then you'll have a nice selection of easy, prepared dinners once baby arrives and you aren't feeling up to cooking. Or let friends and family (or even husband/bf) know that a great help to you would be for them to fix a few home-cooked meals after the baby is born. Take-out gets old fast!
8. You will probably have heartburn and pass more gas while pregnant--especially the last trimester!
9. Unless it hurts or your doctor tells you otherwise, sex is fine and will not harm the baby, all the way up to the very same hour you go into labor. After the baby, you will need to heal for at least 6 weeks before having sex. Your doctor can tell you at your 6-week checkup whether it's okay at that point or whether you should wait a little longer.
10. SPEAK UP, especially about things that are important to you! Doctors and nurses can't read your mind, so if you don't agree with what they are telling you, say so--or have your advocate do so. Keep asking questions until you understand the answers. Things will likely go more smoothly if your caretakers know what you want and what you don't want.
11. If you have an epidural, you might not have control of your lower half--including your bladder--for a few hours afterward.
12. No matter how docile, laid-back, or submissive you are now, you will most likely become *fiercely* protective of your child in a short time. Sometimes you may scare yourself!
13. Accept help, but don't "overbook" yourself. Don't feel obligated to have your mother stay over the first few nights you are home if what you really want is time to snuggle with your guy and get to know your new baby. If you don't need help as it's offered, suggest another time or task that would be helpful to you. Most friends and family want to feel useful and needed--and of course, they also want to see the new baby!
14. As others have said, trust yourself and your instincts! :-)
Have a safe and happy delivery!
--A.

Ok J.! CONGRATS!!!!!!!! IT's a great journey!
I've had 2 babies (17 mos. appart and the youngest now being 16 mos.) and have been around babies and women having babies all my life. I'VE READ ALL YOUR REPLIES AS WELL (you can always learn something, even if it is just that people are mis-informed on this or that)! So what I have to say is not what you've heard from below and what I wish I'd known, even after being around babies and pregnancy my whole life.

-Realize that pregnancy is the closest you will actually ever come to a miracle by God's hand! Yes, it may stink at time, but God is using your body to create a little miracle. You are his tool for a miracle; whenever else can you say this? And with that honor comes some sacrifice.
-while preg. and the following 6 mos. or more after birth, the chiropractor and a massage therapist are your best friends for helping your changing body adjust to the different weight and posture changes and associated pain! AND, it is said that chiropractic care helps create an easier delivery (and I believe this is true) because it keeps your pelvis and hips alligned for easier delivery (shorter, straighter passage)!
-don't feel bad if an OCCASSIONAL glass of wine is needed to calm your nerves. Caffine is quicker to effect a fetus and nursing child and with more effects than a slight bit of occassional alchohol! That said, of course, don't over-do it but it is not uncommon for a midwife or dr to okay a glass here or there, especially close to labor when nerves and muscles most need calming!
-Your homones may not seem out of wack to you during pregnancy and post-natal, but they probably are and you will look back and say "what was I thinking" and maybe even laugh at yourself (I did)-PREPARE YOUR MATE FOR THIS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-get/rent the DVD (more user friendly than the book) " THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK" before the baby gets here AND and the question and answer section! Have your hubby and any care taker of the baby watch and practice the techniques with you!!!! USE THE BONUS SOUNDS ONCE THE BABY HAS ARRIVED! I did not have this resource for my first baby, whom was an extreme fussy one, and kicked myself in the butt for not having it then when I saw this after my second baby!
-Educate yourself on labor and the birth process, not neccesarily what can go wrong, but what is normal and what is common (both good and bad)! IT IS DOCUMENTED FACT THAT PAIN IS ASSOCIATED WITH FEAR! If you know what is going on/what to expect, you will experience less pain and can prepare for what pain you will experience! If you are un-sure of what is going on and scared because of the fear behind the unknown, you will likely experience more pain as a fear side-effect. I had my first baby natural with no epidural-totally prepared and ready for the whole experience of birth! The experience was great and I was not in the least bit scared or worried. BUT, I had to be induced with my second child and I was soo scared that I cried several times before and during out of FEAR (of the un-known)! I should have prepared myself on what to expect if I had to be induced as well as I had prepared myself for a 100% natural labor (AND FYI, the indcution followed my natural labor in almost an identical pattern-no probs, no epidural by choice, and I handeled the labor just as well and as efficiently), but I knew very little about induction other than the horror stories I had heard "around the block". There are just as many or more success stories than horror, but I didn't really know that at the time, until after the birth which thankfully, went very smooth)!!
-Take a birthing class NOT ONLY FOR YOU (even if you feel 100% prepared by reading) but FOR YOUR MATE AND COACH! It is very likely that your husband/mate does NOT have a clue what is going on, what is normal, what is not normal, nor what to expect! After all, he does not have to live with the pains of PMS, the child-bearing organs within his body, nor experiencing and learning about it FIRST HAND. And, he will likely not be as "in-to" reading and absorbing it nor learning it from you as he would a certified class (that he HAS to devout some attention to)! This class will at least prepare his mind on how things work, even if his "experience" of it is still second-hand. Take the class at the very least for you to be able to handle him during labor (so you know he is at least a bit prepared)!
-Don't go to the hospital early unless you are prepared to be monitored by the staff. If you prefer a private labor, labor longer at home before going to the hospital at the first site of labor, or opt for a midwife, home-birth, or birthing center birth (not really an option in my area nor by my insurance, so I stayed home as long as possible).
-Don't let the nurses or maybe even a dr. (yours or another) push you into certain decissions. Many drs. and nurses push you to do what makes THEIR job easier (certain pain meds to make you not as "testy" due to pain, induction to fit their time schedules, etc), not neccesarily what makes YOURS easier or is to your liking. Remember this and stick to your wants over theirs! Trust their mdical expertise and knowledge but also trust your intuition and your wants!
-I would have never believed that you may not even have time to shower or pee after that baby is born if I had not experienced it myself. People with no babies and with easy babies can not fathom this (they sleep almost half the day, right?)! But a sick or colicy baby may never sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time, leaving the mother very little time to even re-gain composure much less shower! Baby sling, swing, vibrating chair, gripe water are the mother-to-a-colicy-baby's best friends!
-You may or may not loose weight easily after the first baby BUT no matter what, it is much harder after the second baby BUT much easier after ANY birth if you nurse!
-Speaking of nursing, give a baby a bottle at 3-4 weeks of age if you want to NOT be "attached at the hip" to your nursing baby. Some of the books I read with my first child said to wait until 6 weeks of age to avoid nipple confussion, allow adequate milk supply, and to master the technique of nursing; I say that is hog-wash b/c with my first child, we waited until 6 weeks on the dot and she was already too darn smart to want a "fake" nipple over the real thing and we consistantly tried everything. With my second child, we gave him a bottle at 3.5 weeks (plus he had some sugar water here and there slightly in between for medical reasons) and the transition from breast to bottle to breast again was always a smooth one!
-If you plan to continue nursing, BUY A GOOD PUMP!!!!! there is no substitute to a good one and even though it may seem like a substantial investment, it is still cheaper to buy one rather than several cheap ones, cheaper than formula, and better for the child and mother as well!
-If sleep is an issue for you while nursing (and let's face it, when is it not), we worked out a deal that since I had the whole job of feeding, my hubby's job at night was to get the baby from the crib and bring him/her to me in bed so I could quickly latch him/her on and maybe snooze a bit (but not much) while nursing. Then, it was again his job to tend to getting the baby back to bed with dry pants when that time came as well.
-Speaking of second baby, the pain of "after-labor" is much more intense on the second baby as well and don't be surprised if you hurt in different areas after the birth than you did before, including areas you thought had nothing to do with childbirth (headache, toes, tailbone, etc).

Good luck!
It really is fun, even with a price! I've done it twice and can't wait (hope) to do it again and I in no way had perfect pregnancies and labors but they were perfect in their outcomes!
T.

omega 3's and vitamin E....no stretch marks through two pregnancies and a twelve inch waist increase!!!
Earthmamaangelbaby.com....love all their products!!!! Much better than anything the hospital gives you and great pre-natal, post-natal, and baby products.

Finally, my best advice.....You know your baby better than anyone...better than the doctor, better than your mother, etc. Trust yourself, even when you don't agree with what everyone else is saying. Momma knows best!!! period!!! The only time I've regretted anything was when I didn't listen to myself.

Hi J.,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have an uneventful, healthy pregnancy and can enjoy this journey to motherhood.

I've read through most of the responses and you've gotten lots of feedback. I wanted to add a few other things that I feel you will find helpful.

1. Let your instincts guide you!

2. Know whay you want and don't settle for anything less. Think about your beliefs, your vision of this birth, your support team, what does it look like to you & seek those providers that will help you achieve that goal. A woman who is supported in labor has a more fulfilling and empowering birth experience than one who isn't.

3. Don't listen to everything your doctor tells you. Doctors are great at "scaremongering" and telling one sided stories. Some doctors/care providers have a hidden agenda.

4. Read as much as you want & can about pregnancy, birth, babies, vaccines, etc. KNOWLEDGE is POWER and you will be able to make informed decisions while you're on this journey. I personally recommend the books The Thinking Woman's Guide to A Better Pregnancy, by Henci Goer; The Baby Book, The Birth Book, The Pregnancy Book are a few by Dr. Sears; Ina May's Guide To Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin; to name a few. This link is for a yahoo group where the members read various birth related books and discuss them. There is a wealth of information here. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/childbirthreadingroom/

5. Know you have choices. Decide if you want a hospital, free-standing birthing center or home birth. Seek the providers that will support your pregnancy and birth choices. Rent The Business of Being Born. http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

6. Hire a Doula for emotional & physical support during your labor, birth and post-partum. Doulas are trained/certified through ALACE, DONA, ICEA, CAPPA or independently, to name a few of the organizations but know their philosophies, interview as many as you can and find one that matches your beliefs & works well with you.

7. Eat Healthy Foods to fuel your body & your growing baby's needs. This site contains information about nutrition for a healthy mom and baby as well as research on pre-eclampsia during pregnancy. http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/

8. Read as much as you can about breastfeeding and seek support(even now) through your local La Leche League. Here is the link for your local leader and meeting information. http://www.lllusa.org/web/AdaCountyID.html

9. Surround yourself with postitive people/energy and avoid situations where the people/energy is negative.

10. Know that your body was designed to grow a baby and give birth. Trust in it's ability!

Congratulations & enjoy this journey.

Peace,
J.
ALACE trained birth assistant because my own birth experiences affected me so profoundly that I wanted other women to experience empowering and fulfilling pregnancies & births.

Hi J., I jut saw your post and wanted to say congradulations. My advice is from here on out try to be a person thats flexible and goes with the flow. Children have a way of changing the plan even the birth plan. So have your idea of how you want things to go but be ready to change them if need be and don't waste any energy feeling bad or wishing for different.As long as your baby get here safely. And as your baby grows up this will ring true again and again as they seem to have a way of changeing the plans. The more accepting you are the easier. Also I was very surprised my first pregnancy how people are so nice to you and will talk to you and when you have the baby they can't resist asking questions. Enjoy this little connection babies bless us with. We never forget how special babies are and they make people feel good and bring us closer.Some day we'll be that little old lady. Best wishes to you.

I didn't read them all, but I think you got most of the important stuff. Please visit my website and contact me if you have any more specific questions.
www.tantricparenting.org
ANd the last thing that maybe no one said; remember that when people tell you horror stories- it is their negativity pouring out and has nothing to do with you. For some people it is human nature to share the bad stuff- avoid them!!!
Have a delicious and blessed pregnancy!!!
: )

Well, luckily for me, I already had suspicions about how medical-ized and scary pregnancy is made here in the US. Ob /Gyns treat pregnancy as an illness, even in healthy women! Pregnant women are made to feel so delicate and made to worry over all that could go wrong.

Relax, learn about your body, and look into getting a midwife. If you are healthy then don't get "talked into being sick." Please, please, please, I urge every pregnant woman to watch The Business of Being Born, a new DVD (available on Netflix and other places, too). Also read The Birth Book by Dr. Sears.

I had such a wonderful pregnancy and birth (minus the first trimester) because I relaxed and let Mother Nature and my midwife guide me to let my body work the way God designed it to!

I suggest really finding out the truth about C-Sections, healthy eating (lots of vegetables!), epidurals, induced labor, ultrasound radiation, circumcision (if you have a little boy - it truly is unnecessary and only done routinely as plastic surgery here in the US), nursing your baby, and vaccines / "routine" antibiotics.
These are things I did, thankfully, know when I was pregnant.

Not finding out my baby’s gender was the most wonderful surprise. My husband and I were so excited to hold our baby and find out “what” we had only a minute or so after the birth – already totally in love with our child no matter what…

It was one of the most amazing adrenaline rushes of my life!

The thing I wish I had known is to get all the sleep and sex you can, because afterwards it could be a while! I loved being pregnant and sort of miss it. I felt so healthy and amazing to have a new life growing inside me!

Most of everything I could think of was covered, I didn't read all 70some, but in case no-one said it, make sure you love you OBGYN. If your Dr is not meeting your needs or making you upset, go see someone else. Referals from people you know and trust are the best. You are paying for your care so get the best experience for you and yours, it will last a lifetime!!

Goodluck!

M.

if you are having a v.delivary, take some maxi pads, pour about a tablespoon of water on the inside of and then freeze it. it will help the perinuium. when the baby comes, for the first couple of days put some olive oil in the diaper. the meconium is almost impossible to get off. the oil will make a difference in a few diaper wipes and the whole box of them.
also, after yoy have the baby stay off your feet. this was the hardest thing for me, moreso than the labor. i had several friends who got large blood clots, but i didn't, and the one thing that i can point to was not overdoing it, which you will have a couple days where you feel like yourself, but if you do too much it will affect you the next day. part of being a good mom, is taking care of yourself, so you can tend to the baby.

I wish I had known about Preggie Pops and the Bumpil Pillow!

I didn't read through all the responses, so forgive me if this is your second, or third time hearing this:

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it doesn't happen naturally. It's A LOT of work for both you and the baby. If you plan on breastfeeding, read as much as you can on it and MAKE SURE you have your breastfeeding watched by a lactation consultant (not just a nurse) before you leave the hospital. And if you choice or need to bottle-feed, feel good about that, too. Breastfeeding isn't the end-all be-all "everyone" makes it out to be.

Make a birth plan and understand that it probably won't go down like you planned. Be open and honest and do what is right and best for you and your baby, regardless of what anyone says. Your goal isn't to have the perfect pregnancy and birth experience. Your goal should be happy and healthy mom and baby. Period. It doesn't matter HOW you get there, just that you do!

In my opinion, an epidural is your best friend. I had one baby with and one without and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND an epidural.

Congrats and best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby.

Read "Operating Instructions" by Annie Lammot and "Waiting for Birdy" by Catherine Newman during your child's first year or two. You'll be so glad you did. The main thing is that it's a huge life change and it's crazy for everyone, but also wonderful. We think we have to be perfect mothers and are afraid to ask for help from others. We don't realize that everyone gets a little crazy. It's good to know you are not alone in your pregnancy and later parenting dilemmas.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this...but something I really kick myself in the butt over was eating anything and everything I wanted during my first pregnancy. Those were some of the first words of advice out of my doctor's mouth - "You're pregnant - eat whatever you want!"...So I did. And I gained 80 POUNDS because of it. Went from 128 to 208. I figured the weight would just come off after my son was born...however, 2 months later I was pregnant again. And I knew going into that one, I could not afford to gain another 80 pounds on top of the other weight...So I told my doctor this and he actually told me for that pregnancy it was OK NOT TO EAT ALL THE TIME. Oh my gosh. If he had just told me that the first time. LOL. Maybe I wouldn't have eaten the way I did. First time around...I felt like if I was hungry...then the baby was gonna be hungry...so I ate...and ate and ate. Second time around, after I told him I couldn't afford to gain another 80 pounds...Dr's words were that the baby was a parasite and it would get what it needed. So, I watched my calorie intake and only gained the normal 35 pounds. I lost all the weight I gained with the second one in a matter of probably 6 weeks. However, I still have the extra 40 from the first baby still. And it's taking forever to try and get it off.

Pack you bag early! My sister started throwing things into a bag casually about 6 weeks ahead of time. When my nephew came along 5 weeks early, she was really glad she’d done it, even if she only had half the things she wished she had! I ignored her advice and started packing my bag at about 6 weeks out too. You guessed it, at 5 weeks early, I was having my little guy. My half packed bag was a lifesaver, but a fully packed one would have been better. :)

Growing a baby is physically uncomfortable at times, even to the point of pulled muscles. There’s a lot of stretching going on, all day, every day, and sometimes it is pretty frustrating. It is totally worth it, though.

It is so true that labor is a lot like being constipated, just like Carol S. said in her earlier message! No one ever described it like that to me, but boy oh boy was it like passing a huge one. A little gross as a description, but spot on accurate. Add to that bad menstrual cramps. It was a lot less scary when it was actually happening and the feeling was so familiar. I wished someone had given me the nitty gritty description of it. At the end, when the baby is born, it is absolutely wonderful. Like the end of a marathon, but with the best prize. Beautiful.

Spoil yourself by letting your helper take a middle of the night feeding, if at all possible. (A high quality breast pump is great—rent one if you need too.) Having 6 blissful hours of sleep in a row is best for all your relationships (baby, partner, family members). My husband and I almost killed ourselves trying to be supportive and both be awake for every feeding. When we split the night ones up, we were in heaven.

Enjoy!

Cherish every day of your pregnancy and day that you have of with your child. Pictures are not as important as time and memories. Take time to listen to your body and recognize the changes that are happening to you. Feel the kicks and movements and share them with your husband. Be very much in touch with the "earth mother" during this time in your life. Pay attention to the changes of the weather, seasons, and holidays. Slow down and take care of your body. W.

Congratulations! I just saw this question, so I know this is late. Just wanted to say, take lots of belly pics! I only have a few and sooooooo much wish I had more. I don't have any with my belly showing. I know that sounds silly, but when I see pictures in magazines or photography ads, I regret not doing more.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

The only thing I could say I wish I knew is how fierce the love is that you have for your child. Which is beautiful and wonderful, but also hard. You hurt when they hurt. The one thing that made my pregnancy and labor much better was that we took a long class--the Bradley Birth Class (you can find them anywhere--which helped us prepare for all aspects of labor AND afterwards (it's a 12 week class, and the 8 couples in our class are all still involved in each others' lives) and secondly, we had a doula for our birth. If you intend to deliver naturally at all, a doula is so important. She is there for the mother. The doctors and nurses come and go and your husband really doesn't know what the heck is going on or how to deal with you going through pain. A doula gives you massages, tells you what's normal (and what's not) and supports your decisions. She was worth her weight in gold! Congratulations and all the best. Keep a journal--it's amazing to look back on how you felt. Also, my husband and I got "your baby week by week" and he read it aloud to me every Sunday. It was nice for both of us to know what is going on. Good luck!

when i was pregnant wth my 1st, i read a lot since I had nobody to tell me what to expect. I couldn't stand the smell of cooking for the 1st 3 months, I had the darkening of my face, and the hemorroids were the pits, carried my donut pillow everywhere. With the 2nd, I had so many skin tags, all gone now. During both, I ate a big breakfast and drank 1/2 gallon of milk. It staved off the nausea. They are all grown now, different personalities and smart as hell. My younger one even started working at 14, and does everything to help others, recently went to So. Africa with world teach and the children loved her, yet the teachers didn't. Corporal punishment was the norm, but she showed them care. 2 yrs ago she went to Honduras, no drinking water, and of course habitat for humanity and worked 6 campus jobs and studied abroad in Australia. Older one in Belgium, and was always top of her class, valedictorian, deans list and a special award for the highest grade in grad school. Reading all the time to them paid off big time. I talked to them all the time when we were going someplace, told them what to expect and how to behave and they were so well behaved and I was so proud. Of course I didn't sleep for 6 yrs, was a walking zombie, but it was all worth it. Good luck, and if you want to talk, let me know. My girls are now 22 and 25 and the younger one will be going to grad school in Ausralia in 6 months. I beam all the time!!!!!

One thing that I wish I knew was that just because the Dr suggests a test doesn't mean you have to have it. There is a high rate of false positive with several tests. I did trust my Dr but I also made it clear what my feeling were and that I would never terminate so testing to determine anything of that nature was not needed - I didn't want to be robbed of enjoying my pg. I always go to worse case senerio and in this case I thought it would be better to wait and deal with what came.

Congrats and enjoy !

Hi J.,

Congratulations! I wish I had known what I know now about nutrition.

Everyone was concerned about weight and protiens in my urine. I really wish my midwife and doula would have talk to me about nutrition. No one talks about it. Even my ob/gyn admits he doesn't know enough about nutrition to talk to his patients about it because he didn't learn much about nutrition in school. This is so sad. The food choices we make when pregnant will make a difference in our childs health as well as our future health.

Eat as much fruits, veggies as possible. Your body recognizes real food and you and you baby need the micronutrients.

Stay away from anything hydrogenated, msg, sugar artifical sugars and white flour.

I have a great healthy food shopping list if you are interested, I can email it to you.

I took Juice Plus when I was pregnant. It is simply concentrated fruit and veggie juiced than dried. Consider checking it out to bridge the gap of what you can't, won't and don't eat as far as fruits and veggies. www.DenverJuicePlus.com

There is amazing research behind juice plus and safe during pregnancy.

Best of luck.

L. C

Enjoy every minute of it! It is so easy to get caught up in all of the normal "scares" of pregnancy to the point that it isn't fun anymore. This will be one of the most amazing experiences of your life~ relish in it and take it one day at a time!

Not about being pregnant, but about having children . . .
1) Children have limited purposes in life - to play, and to be sheltered by you. Beginning at age 0 and going to age 7,8 they want and need to be with you, on you, around you, ALL THE TIME. Not a bad thing, but a surprise if you are not prepared - begin now to clear out your life to make room for them because they and their desires will become the primary and you and your desires will become secondary. Your need to chat with a girlfriend, read the paper over coffee, clean house, do laundry, take a bath, even go to the bathroom . . . secondary to their desire to be with you, on you, around you. Get some really good baby packs, slings, body carriers so you can carry the baby on your body - it just builds that much more security. Start now to clean out the house because come baby time you will be able to do the superficial things but not the deep cleaning.
2) Surround yourself with people who love you and are supportive of you - like minded people who won't tear you down. Parenthood is an emotional state - you need clarity, kindness, support - not selfishness to get in the way. Listen, my mom wanted to go out to lunch after a morning of shopping, but baby really needed to get home to nap. My mom threw a little hissy fit, right then and there. She didn't want to sacrifice her nice luch so the baby could nap in his own crib. Start now to identify those people in your life who have the patience to deal with you and your new situation. I was on the phone with a girlfriend when baby started to cry, I asked her to hold on a moment while I put the phone down and checked on the baby, She said sure. I checked and calmed and when I got back to the phone, about 30 seconds later - she had hung up on me! MOMS Club, Mom to Mom and MOPS have been a huge source of support and fun for me and my family.
3)A baby changes a marriage - start now to clear up all issues with your husband. If he likes his work shirts pressed - cultivate a really good relationship with the dry cleaners. Have lots of sex, as much as possible, that is very important to a marriage. Make lots of freezer meals - that will make early days easier come dinner time. Try to get away for a little romantic interlude and talk mostly about him - after the baby comes all you will do is talk, ad nauseum, about the baby! Solidify your couplehood.
Lastly - take lots and lots and lots of pictures!
Good luck!

1. Even if you hate being pregnant because you're sick all the time and you are pretty sure that you've got an alien inside of you that you're really not that attached to--he (or she) will come out and you'll just be overwhelmed with how perfect your little baby is.
2. Read less about being pregnant and more about being a parent.
3. That after he was born I was more tired than I could have imagined and some days I would think "what have I done."
4. That I would finally understand that when people tell you that their kid is the smartest, cutest, most amazing create on earth that they actually believe it--because you'll find yourself thinking those exact things without the tiniest hint of the irony.
5. The sex might just be better after the baby than before it--

When I got close to the end, I was having contractions for three days. Because they were never constant and "five minutes" apart, I suffered three days and two sleepless nights (so I was already exhausted) before my water finally broke and I went to the hospital. What I wish someone had told me was that if you are having strong contractions and more than just a few then you should go in.

I also want to say that there are going to be a lot of people who are going to tell you how to raise your little bundle of joy so you need to develope a thick skin. Congratulations and good luck!

Hi. I had my first Aug 2007. A couple of things:
1) For me- it wasn't possible to really appreciate how amazing it is to have a person created and grow inside of you- until after he was born. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. People asked me all the time if I was excited- and really I didn't know what I felt. I just said I was to make them happy.
2) Pregnancy is amazing, but it is really hard. Don't feel guilty if you don't love every minuite of it- I thought I was going love it, but it was hard on me emotionally.
3) Some people suggest to make your birth plan, plan for the baby etc. now- I suggest waiting. Pregnancy is 9 months- give yourself time to adjust all the changes instead stressing about what is ahead.
4)You will be absolutely amazed at what you can handle both before and after the baby is born. Good luck.

Hi J.,
Take the classes, learn the breathing techniques, know what an epideral is and the procedure for getting one just in case, even if you plan on having a natural birth like me after 23 hours of hard back labor, baby coming a bit sideways, the idea of natural birth goes out the window and I wish I had known more of what to expect, not that it would have made any difference in the outcome, baby and mom fine and healthy, but during the process I would have been happier if I had been more educated on things I wasn't planning on.
Enjoy every second of motherhood,
SarahMM

Ok Here it goes. My beautiful daughter is 8 months old now, and i asked for advice form lots of people but all the people that i knew that had kids was so long ago they couldn't remember. The first thing you should know about being pregnant is you will be VERY emotional. But it's ok, normal, and exspected. My boobs hurt exstremely bad, thats actually what made me take a test to begin with. But again everyone is different. I wish i would've worked out more at the gym so i didn't gain as much weight, cuz now it's harder to get off cuz you got a little one to care for. I wish i would've known that the first period you have after birth is like a blood bath. Sorry for being so descriptive but i REALLY wish someone would have told me that was gonna happen, cuz i started on a weekend and my ob was closed so i went the weekend thinking there was something wrong with me and i was bleeding to death or something until monday came i called and they said it was normal. I was going thru a tampon in like 15-20 min. So keep that in mind. I too tried to breastfeed. When i was in the hospital, the lactation nurse didn't come in til like 20 min before i was to leave and my daughter was outta the room geeting a shot so i was never properly shown how to do it so my breasts were cracked and bleeding so i had to take a few days off from breastfeedign her and i became engorged really bad, and tried to pump but nothing was working. I really wished i wouldn't have depended on the lactation nurse at the hospital, cuz i truely wanted to breastfeed in the worst way. So my advice is, that if you do want to breastfeed, seek some advice before you have your child, and be adiment on the lactation nurse coming in and physically showing you how it's to be done, cuz my probnlem was a bad latch. Mark down all the special occations to be put into you baby book. Also, dont go thru this preg. thinking that your getting pain mads....cuz i was pretty devestated when i got to the hospital, and i was dialated too much to get anything, i was not expecting that. Just expect the unexspected. Also, when people say you'll get a pregnancy bladder, they're right. Towards you last 2 months or so, you'll feel like you have to pee alot, then you go and you'll only trickle. Be prepared. Being pregnant is the most wonderful thing to go thru. I found that internet is one of the most informational things. I read and learned alot of the internet. There's a site that really helped me and to track my baby's growth, it's really neat. The address is www.babycenter.com and you put in your due date and they send you things every month to your e mail showing you how your baby's grown and how your body is changing month to month. It keeps sending you info on what to exspect after you baby is born, like when to feed solids and breastfeeding. It a great site and costs nothing. Let me know how you like it and CONGRATULATIONS! Your in for the most memorable, exciting, mirical of a ride that you'll you'll never forget. Good luck!

J.-

Congrats on your pregnancy! A few things to I've found to be helpful.

1. Take advice with a grain of salt. What works for someone else may or may not work for you. If the advice seems crazy, don't feel pressured to use it. Use the advice you feel will work best for you.

2. Remember, it's okay to not breastfeed, just as it's ok to breastfeed. I am not in any way an advocate for or against breastfeeding. I am still breastfeeding my 7.5 month old son, as it was what was going to be best for my family. I remember feeling all the pressure from people to breastfeed and pressure from those saying not to breastfeed. Do what will work best for you, your child and your family.

3. Lots of womem have been saying to pick an OB/GYN you love. This is so true, but keep in mind that many practices have multiple OB/GYn's that could deliver your baby. So get to know all of the doctor's in your office ( you go to the doctor plenty of times until your child is born to accomplish this), that way you're not completely shocked when someone new walks into your labor and delivery room. In my case, I did see every doctor in the practice, but it happened that I went into labor on a night where none of them were there. The doctor I had was absolutely wonderful!

4. Some other's have said this as well, but don't be afraid to get an epidural. I did not, but was fully intentioned to get one. I got to the hospital and was 9.5 cm dilated, so the nurse explained that pushing would take longer if I had an epidural, so I opted against it. But I have friends who swear by them.

5. Last but not least, and this is really just a summary of what I have said - Do not feel pressured by what other people tell you is right/wrong. Everyone has their own opinions on birthing, breastfeeding, vaccines, etc. Do what works best for your family. Find a doctor (for both you and baby) that you love - ask lots of questions! The internet is also a valuable tool for resources.

Trust your own instincts. =)

Best of luck!

J. B.

Stay away from Peanuts/nuts period.. I ate cashews everyday during my first pregnancy.. My daughter has a severe peanut allergy.. The docs say the 2 are not related... But I stayed away from all highly allergic foods during my 2nd pregnancy (Shellfish, Nuts, Diary products) everything seems fine with my second child... It is for the safety of your child and you may loose a few pounds in the process

I wish I had known how important it was to drink TONS of water. I went into pre-term labor with my first and I know it was because I was dehydrated. With my second pregnancy, I drank like a fish and everything went well.

So drink, drink, and then, when you can no longer stand the sight of water, close your eyes drink it anyway.

I also agree with a previous poster about loving your OB. We're not talking about your average doctor here. We're talking about the most important person in your life (next to your unborn child) for the next nine months. Choose wisely.

Hi, I noticed that you had already pretty much closed this but I did have one bit of advice for you.

Listen to your feelings first, doctors are good and all but if you start to get that feeling that something isn't right then it probably isn't. I wish I had listened to mine closer because then I would have had a better pregnancy. I must agree with the post that says that doctors are great at "scaremongering." Because they are. Remember you do have the choice of doctor that you go to, you don't have to go to a doctor that makes you uncomfortable and make sure that you and hubby/bf are comfortable with the doctor.

Best person who knows its right for you is YOU! Best of luck.

And if by chance you are unfortunate to get morning sickness try pinapple/banana/orange juice and some saltine crackers.

Congratulations!!!! I hope you have a happy pregnancy and birth. I wish someone told me that it was ok to hate pregnancy. Mine was less then fun and very stressful but all people could say was enjoy it. It has its moments when I loved to watch my little girl kick and wiggle, but a 11:00 at night when I wanted to sleep it drove me nuts. I felt so guilty not liking being pregnant and being scared about our future. So just know that what you feel is ok. Pamper yourself and dont feel bad if you want that piece of chocolate go ahead and indulge. Heck my doctor even told me to go ahead and have a few sips of wine around the holidays.....I was so uptight and had horrid braxton hicks (fake contractions). Those are normal if you do get them, its your body working out for the real deal. Surround yourself with happy positive people. Dont listen to the horror stories and DONT read the books. Use them for reference only. I found a book I think it was the Miracle of Life I just loaned it to a friend so I cant look it up. It was just about what was happening to your body and how the baby was developing inside. It was positive and informative. Also this is not meant to scare but if you have a history of depression in you or family members please tell your doctors. The after pregnancy hormones can really throw you off. Remember to honor your feelings for better or worse, and whatever it is your ok and normal. Best of wishes.

i wish i had taken more pictures of me while pregnant. and with my second i took pictures or had my husband do it of me in the same position in the same outfit every so many weeks. i wish d done it ore often but its nice to flip through them and watch my belly "grow". and write everything down. your only ppregnant for 9ish months. seems like forever now but once its over...it over.

I don't think anybody mentioned the "What to Expect While You're Expecting" book- very helpful. Labor is hard work (I had natural and did not think it was painful-just hard work) and like someone else said - it feels like you are pooping out the baby. Once I realized that I started pushing w/ the correct muscles and out he popped. Enjoy it. You will be thrilled that EVERYONE holds the door open for you when you are pregnant- only to be stunned to see that NO ONE holds a door for you when you have a stroller. In fact- they run ahead of you so you don't hold them up! Silly but true!
Pillows between your knees and under your tummy while you sleep make life grand for you- altho your hubby might feel left out. Sex IS great! If you're flat chested normally like me then you have BOOBS!! Yay!

There are two things I would like to share with you
1. everyone always told me to get lots of sleep, expecially towards the end of my pregnancy...this was the dumbest idea beause when my little bundle of joy arived I was so used to getting lots of sleep that I had a really hard time getting up every few hours with him! I dont recommend not sleeping before just dont get used to sleeping so much because it wont be like that again for a very long time.

2. if your dr asks if you want to know the aprox weight of the baby BEFORE s/hes born say "NO"! at the 3D ultrasound I found out I was having a 9lb baby wich intensified my labor fears 10 fold (he ended up being 9.01 lbs) not knowing this would have made me much happier and eased some of the prenatal anxiety!

good luck! Being pregnant was and currently is the most enjoyable thing in the world (once you get past the morning sickness of corse!)

Hi J. Mother to be and fulture Dad,
Congradulation!!!!!
You have been blessed. And That Beautiful child will always look to you and they're Father for that special love that is needed to grow to be wonderful in this World.
You will feel life beginning in you. Oh it is a wonderful feeling. Growing and letting you know what they will be like. Yes they will give you likes and dislikes while there inside your temple that holds so much miracles yet to be.
Be happy together as one and I do mean Father too.
What you show and feel inside you will help that child know that there is so much love outside.
Enjoy and be at peace with on another.

I Hope you Both a very Happy Life with this special gift of love.
Vicki W.

Congratulations!!!

Try to keep a "barf bag" in your car at all times and close by! One day you might be driving down the road on your way to work like normal and boom that morning sickness will hit you. (A kit containing toothbrush, toothpaste, water and tums is a good idea to have with you too.)

If you have trouble keeping food down try Ensure because it is easy on the stomach and full of vitamins.

During the 3rd trimester is when the baby's bones are developing and s/he needs the most calcium--I supplemented my diet during that time with Ensure High Calcium once a day--I had a very healthy baby, and the nurses commented what a healthy umbilical cord I had.

enjoy this time!

I loved being pregnant!

#1 I dont have to wear ugly maternity stuff!
A: (depending on your budget) Motherhood maternity, and other stores like that can be expensive. So go to your local goodwill, arc, thrisft store and start looking for clothes. I am a big thrift store shopper, and sometimes they would not have anything good (all worn out, or something) but sometimes I would hit the jackpot with great clothes. Ross also has great maternity stuff.

B: I also shopped at the younger hip places in the mall, or the young adult section of JC PENNY, Mervyns, etc. The reason for that is all these styles are popular right now that will fit pregnant women! Like the babydoll shirts, alot of the shirt are very long also to fit over your hips, so that is great for maternity wear! So dont isolate yourself to frumpy clothing, show off that bump! Twords the end (like the last 4 weeks or so) I could only wear maternity shirt, just because of the way I was carrying my daughter, she was sticking straight out front. But up until then, I always got comments on how great I looked. I think thats important when your preggo and a littl insecure about whats happening with your body.

#2 I wish someone had told me to buy lots of frozen dinners for after I had my first baby (my son). Easy stuff like lasagnas, enchiladas, any frozen family meals you can find that are easy to cook, so you dont end up with pizza the first 6 weeks.

#3 I wish someone would have told me I would wear a robe all the fricking time fo rthe first couple weeks. So thenext baby I haad (my daughter) I bought a few loose, comfy, but also cute active wear outfits. Ya know, those things that are in style now, the cute sweatpants with matching shirt and little matching jacket. That way you at least feel lik eyour dressed, and if you do need to leave the house, you have on something decent, and not like a pair of nasty old sweats and a ratty tshirt.

OOH! The last thing is most important(cuz that other stuff is just fun how to enjoy your preggo and be cute at the same time!) Dont le t anyone pressure you into no drug-or a drug filled birth. You will meet people who say "the drugs will hurt your baby, your such a bad person for wanting pain meds" or "your dont get a medal for natural birth, hav ethem drug you up!" I say just do your own reserach and YOU decide. My first delivery I had a few people (including my midwife) scare me into not having an epidural, or anything. That was the wrong choice for me, and i knew in the back of my head i didnt want to do it that way. But I figured "shes my doc, she knows". The next birth I had was so much better becuse i did what I wanted to do. Your doc or midwife might push drugss, or push you to take them, but even they have opinions that might not be right for you. As long a sthere is not medical reason for you to go one way pr the other, just do what YOU think is the best. Oh-and when your doing reserach about it, make sur eyou look at website and books that dont have a biased opinion. If you look through a natural birth book, they will obviously be bashing epidurals and any other form of drugs, so be careful who your resources are. Dont let other people scare you by saying "my epidural had to be done 5 times and they still didnt get it right" blah blah blah. Y aknow what there is always going to be some aweful horror story. There are benefits AND risks to taking the drugs, you just need to decide what you want to go with.

Thats my advice-good luck!

I wish someone had told me to read the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg. No one had mentioned anything beforehand about putting my baby on a schedule and she was so unpredictable and unhappy the first couple of weeks. Once I put her on the EASY schedule, she knew what she was expecting out of her day and so did I! It made a ton of difference.

Hers was also the first book to not make me feel like a terrible mother for not being able to breastfeed. For some reason, my little girl just refused to do it, no matter how hungry she was and we had to switch her to formula.

If you want to breastfeed, you might also want to take a class on it. I wish I had, because the problems I had might have been something I could have corrected with more knowledge. Unfortunately, the lactation consultant at my hospital was zero help. The baby would either latch on immediately with the nurses help, or sleep when the LC came by, so no one could really help me when I was alone. And it's not easy to read the book with a baby in one arm screaming and your hormones all over the place. :-)

Good luck with the pregnancy! I never felt more sexy and skinny than when I was heavily pregnant. The baby bump pulled out all my fat rolls. :-)

Dear J.,
I tried to read through your responses...first congratulations...do you know if it is boy or girl yet? Sometimes a surprise like we use to have is nice too.

With my first son, I wish someone had told me to prepare my breast while pregnant if breast feeding. Th La Leche league probably has instructions, but essentially it is pulling at and massaging the nipple. I ended up with such sore breasts after him. With my other two I got my breasts ready for the sucking.

Secondly, every pregnancy is different. With my first I had no morning sickness, with my second I had it 24/7 for the first 6 months. I had no leg swelling with my first, but had it with my other two.

Be prepared for "Brackton Hick" contractures...I believe that is the name...they are contractions of the whole uterus as it prepares (exercises) before labor. Mine would get into a tight huge ball. But don't believe it if they say that if you walk and it stops it is not real labor. I thought it was "false" labor with one of my sons because it stopped when I walked. Then the mucus plug broke and I had lots of water...and knew I had to go in.

Never wait until the last minute...especially with your first because you don't know if you will go fast or slowly. I waited too long with one and he was crowning when I got there.

Have a wonderful pregnancy and I wish you quick delivery and a healthy baby,
H.

About being pregnant...
1.I wish I would have relaxed alot more. I had a crazy busy schedule (work + grad school + practicum) and I've always had that so I just assumed I could keep it all up w/o changing it for the baby. I did rest and nap but not as much as I could have. So relax and enjoy this magical time in your life. Don't feel like you have to do everything that you've always done.
2. Spend time w/your husband and have some date nights before baby comes because it might be hard to squeeze that in.
3. Don't spend tons of money on maternity clothing! Go to consignment stores or if you can borrow from friends.
4. Get a big package of granny panties for delivery and the messy (lots of bleeding) aftermath, they are comfy and who cares if you mess them up!
5. Do not take pj's that are too warm to the hospital, you will be sweating like crazy! No one told me about that, the hormones are working their way out of your body and on top of all the emotions you are sweaty. I would wake up in soaked sheets, yuck!
6. Also you will be very emotional after delivery for a little while due to hormones, I wasn't at all during pregnancy but afterwards I cried a ton.
About baby....
1.They make a TON of noise while sleeping! No one ever told us that it would sound like a little sheep or some other farm animal was in your room sleeping! Also that you are not a bad mom if you do not keep baby in a bassinet in your room for months. We (after much beging from my husband) moved baby out around 5-6weeks and all of us got much better sleep.
2.Also you are not a bad mom or a failure if you can not or do not brest feed your baby. I wanted to so bad but had a very, very low milk supply. Despite trying to increase it (I took Rx meds, used herbs, pumed after feedings etc) I could never produce enough to satisfy the baby. After 6 weeks of going crazy and feeling TERRIBle about it I finally stopped and gave her formula. Multiple people (dr, freinds, Lactation consultant, etc)kept telling me she will not "die if she drinks formula" but it was so hard for me. I kept thinking she would be sick all the time, not smart enough, etc w/o breast milk. Finally, I had to realize I was making myself crazy (crying all the time, etc) and it wasn't good for anyone in the family. I had to make peace w/the fact that I gave her as much as I could and she is going to be ok. Hopefully you will not have thris trouble but if you do just remember you are not a bad person.
3. It's ok to ask for help, In fact it's a great idea! If firends/family ask what can they do, tell them. Think of ways they can help and ask. They can make you dinners, grocery shop for you, do laundry, clean your house, etc. Ask people to come over and watch baby while you nap, relax, or get out of the house. I recall thinking that it was crazy that someone would want to sit in my living room w/baby while I napped but tons of friends jumped at the opportunity to do it. Also use these people and other moms for support, talk to them about your happines, frustrations, etc. they have been there and can help support you.
4. The sleep deprivation is CRAZY! It was far, far different then I thought. I recall thinking I use to pull all nighters in college, I will be able to do this but it's very hard. I'm not sure you can prepare for it but just realize that for several weeks that baby will be getting up alot and you will be loosing a lot of sleep. So rest, relax, nap when baby is resting. If you can't sleep then at least just lay down and relax, watch tv, read, lay there w/eyes closed etc. Don't use baby's nap time to do all the things you think need to be done around the house. If you do you will crash and burn. Just remember it does get better! Great book to read before baby gets here: Sleep solutions for your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler by Ann Douglas.
5. Realize things will be different between you and your husband. Any big life change like this causes some disruption and adjustment. My husband and I snap at each other more, have sex less, etc and our baby is 5mo old. It takes awhile to get back to normal and really you are not going to be the same, you are creating a new normal for your family to adjust to.

Overall...just enjoy every minute of your pregnancy and baby!!!!

Be prepared that everything you plan to do, might not quite go as planned. For example, I planned to breastfeed, and after pumping for 10 weeks, seeing the lactation consultant and trying every remedy, I only produced 2 oz. of milk a day--not enough for the baby so we had to switch to formula. Also, if you plan to do a natural birth, don't be surprised that you opt for an epidural. Or if you plan on getting an epidural, be prepared that it might not work out and you'll have to deliver naturally. In other words, just be open to things not going "according to plan" and it'll be easier for you in the long run.

Also, kick counts are EXTREMELY important, a lot of women gain more than the "25-35 pounds on average" thing that's dictated to you and it's NORMAL, and go with your gut if your doctor is telling you one thing and your gut is telling you another. The gut instinct is usually correct.

OK you can just call me the honest girlfriend. I'll tell you the embarrassing stuff! DON'T get an epeziotemy!...I know i spelled it wrong but a stay at home mom has only so many brain cells in the am:) Your body will naturally make room for baby and if your md cuts you you run the risk of tearing more and that can be MISERABLE! My recovery was about the same that it would have been for a C-Sec and I have been in physical therapy for months to make it all work right again!

Also if you want pain relief go for the epidural early instead of getting the pain killers. They make you feel goofy and barfy. I waited until 4 cm and begged. It was awesome because my head was in the game and the pain was gone so I remember everything.

Read fun stuff. I liked "The girlfriend's guide to pregnancy." and Jenny McCarthy's belly laughs. She is really funny about everything.

Breastfeed if you can. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done but it does REALLY suck for the first 2 or 3 weeks. Once you have passed the 3 week mark though it won't hurt anymore.

PP Depression is real! If you experience depression anyway it will be worse. Prepare ahead of time with your dr and your support people (hubby, mom, sister)for what may happen. Talk about it ahead of time and let them know that you want them to help if they see you feeling too 'blue'.

My son had colic for 6 months, ear infections for the next 6, wears a helmet because his head is funny shaped and is in speech therapy because he has speech delay. He's a HANDFUL! I wouldn't trade it for anything!
You'll do great!!!

Hi and Congrats! I loved being preg.
Emotionally you will go wacko...let's just say one moment your husband will be the greatest man alive and the next you may ask yourself why you married him. Trust me it just hormones.
Secondly, I wish I would have know about MOPS when my son was born. Check into it. It's a way to meet other Moms. MOPS.org
Good luck and rest when you can and excersise you'll have more energy.

Hey J.,
Congratulations! This is one of the best times of your life so enjoy every moment. The best advise I can give you is to NOT listen to everyones experience. You'll find out that everyone wants to tell you what happened to them during their pregnancy, the birth, etc. It started freaking me out after awhile. You will hear some horror stories and some good stories. Everyone is different. Just enjoy your moment. It will be very exciting. Especially when the baby moves! I couldn't get enough of that. Don't let all the horror stories freak you out. Just because someone had a bad experience doesn't mean you will. I wish you the best of luck. I don't know you but I am happy for you. My kids are 12 and 9 yrs old. I really miss being pregnant, giving birth, and seeing your baby change everyday. I miss my babies, though I am treasuring every moment (good and bad) that I have with them now. These days will be over in a flash. Always remember to enjoy the moment NOW. Life passes by too fast! T.

This is mostly for your labor- hire a doula! I didn't and now that I am one, I wish I had. I would have had a much different experience. The whole time I wished someone who knew what I should do was there, but the nurses were in and so infrequently. Find on in your area by going to the DONA website. (www.DONA.org) and put in your zip. Sine you have time, you can shop around and find someone you mesh with well, and book them before they get booked up. Both my husband and I took childbirth classes- which I reccomend, but still would have liked more support. Good luck, and best wishes! :-)

That someone (Dr.) would have told me that before the baby's head comes out it pushes on your rectum and you may deficate. Not everyone does, but if I would have known I wouldn't have been wondering if it were normal. Oh and don't start any habits that you don't want to carry over into toddler-hood. It's true their only little once but if you don't want to be holding your child through his/her nap when she's two don't start it when she 1 month. I made that mistake with my last one. It was easier to hold her than to try to put her down because she would wake up. Well when she was 15 months old I had to break that habit and it was not pretty. So start a routine- not a schedule- that you can live with. and Be flexible what works one day may not work the next. Just remember that you love them and they are not trying to manipulate you. At least not until they are older.

Cathyd

Yoga can help with back pain and give you breathing techniques for relaxation. Classes are available through your local park district and yoga studios. Details on how to find a doula and yoga class are at www.birthlink.net.
C. L
Mom of 3

Congratulations!

My biggest problem after pregnancy was childcare! If you work and plan to continue to work after the baby start looking for childcare NOW! Most places have a waiting list and some you really wounldn't want your child at. If you live in Waxahachie I know a wonderful lady who keeps kids in her home.

Enjoy your pregnancy! Take a walk at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes a day. It will help build your strength for labor.

Just take one day at a time and don't wish it to hurry up because trust me that sweet baby will be grown as quick as you can blink. I keep a journal for both of my kids from the time I found out I was pregnant. I love to go back and read how I felt and the things the kids did when they started walking, or talking. It really helps me hold onto memories I never want to forget.

Congratulations!!!!!! I LOVED being pregnant!!!!! Take a ton of pictures and keep a journal. Now that my daughter is 7 months I wish I had more pictures of me pregnant and I wish I had kept a journal! I don't remember everything I was feeling and I think back about it a lot. For our next baby that's 2 things I am definitely going to do!
Also if you plan of breastfeeding it does take a while to get the hang of it. I am so glad I stuck with it because after a few weeks it just gets more and more enjoyable and so much easier!
But I also recommend giving your little one a bottle a day -even if it's of breastmilk. My daughter loves nursing and won't take a bottle at all. I guess I'm lucky if that's our biggest preoblem, but I can't leave her with anyone, even my husband for more than a few hours.
And lastly get the DVD and book "The Happiest Baby on The Block" from the library. (You can buy it too, but at the library it's free!) Look into it now because there's always a waiting list for it. It has the best tips in my opinion for dealing with a fussy or sleepy baby!
Enjoy your special time being pregnant!!!! Being a Mom is truly the most wonderful thing in the world! Everyone told me that but I didn't really realize it until I had my daughter!

Praise God for your precious Miracle! I am Grandma now but the perfect thing I did do is I wrote letters to my daughter. Now that she is 38 I can go back to that time and feel the feelings. It goes so fast, so write letters while she is inside and you do have some time! May all of God's blessings be upon you & your family.

Just a few little odd points:
Be prepared for strangers and acquaintances wanting to pet your belly once it pops out!
Be prepared for handsome men holding doors for you and smiling. that really helped with the "fat uglies" feelings.
Just because it's your 1st - doesn't mean the kiddo won't come early - in spite of family history, etc. Our baby decided he wanted out and kicked a huge hole in my water bag the day after my baby shower - 5 weeks early. We were NOT ready - no car seat, no stroller, no blankets and the bassinet we got was on back order for 2 weeks.
All you'll get at your shower - in spite of registering is cute little outfits - so buy the practical stuff whenever you see a sale and stock up.
Once your baby is born - watch out for the Belly Petting People to become Baby Petting People! You have to be a Pit Bull sometimes to keep people from touching your newborn - especially if he's as cute as my little guy! ;)Usually it's a grandma aged woman who will run across a parking lot crying "Ooooh a BABY!!!" just as you got the little bugger to finally stop crying and fall asleep which is why you drove to Costco for the 3rd time that week anyway...
The best way to stop them is to ask "When was the last time you washed your hands?"
Buy diapers from Amazon.com & sign up for subscribe & save - you'll save a ton of money and you get free delivery if you get 2 boxes at a time - it's SO convenient!
Good Luck!
P.S. read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" BEFORE you give birth! You'll thank me later.
I'm due the end of April with #2 if all goes well.

Make sure you love your obgyn and their staff...you will be spending a lot of time with them in compromising positions.....lol

And, if I hadn't had the epidural my husband would not have been allowed near me ever again. It made labor actually fun. I was able to laugh and joke with family and friends until it was time to push.

good luck!

Did someone mention all the really gross stuff! I highly recommend Jenny McCarthy's book Belly Laughs. It was kind of crude but funny and so accurate. I really lucked out and had no morning sickness, no stretch marks - even though I gained 79 lbs. (I have lost 53 so far - my baby is 5 months)

I never heard anyone talk about the discharge...! I was Niagra Falls. Towards the end of the pregnancy I kept checking with my doctor afraid it was the amnioitic leak - it wasn't just good old mother nature. I think that was most shocking part of my pregnancy. Also don't overread the books - some parts can scare the "pee" out of you (literally) Every pregnancy book talks about what could happen but rarely does. Worry does no good! So no worries have enjoy the the next several months

I'm NOT a big fan of reading so I signed up on www.whattoexpect.com and got daily emails of updates of the baby and my body and other fun things. It also has a ton of resources from creating a birth plan to message boards and a million other things. Its FREE!! And has all the same information as the actual book without having to find time to sit down and read it!

I also highly recommend the book Babywise. This book talks about the importance of babies and sleep and proper eating habits. Your baby will sleep better, longer and through the night sooner if you use the tools it gives you. I used it with both my girls and it was GREAT!!

Other than that, enjoy every day! 40 weeks is a long time however it goes by so fast! Cherish these last few months of ''alone'' time with your husband.

One tip I got from my step sister is everytime you go to Target pick up a small package of diapers. They're only about $10 so you won't break the bank. Stock up with about 3-4 packages of the NB size then maybe 5-6 of size 1 and so on. I did this with my first and I maybe had to buy diapers twice in the first 6 months! Huge $ saver when finances get tighter b/c you stop working or take a long leave from work. Also, use generic formula if you choose not to breastfeed or want to supplement you will save a minimum of $50 a month!!

If you have any other questions of birth or labor email me. I've had 2 natural deliveries I learned alot from the first on what NOT to do. You are welcome to pick my brain :)

Pace yourself. DOn't try to get everything done in one day. If you work yourself too hard one day, you will end up paying for it the next. Sometimes I would be on my feet for hours at a time running to the store etc. But the next 2 or even 3 days I would be so sore and tired all I could do is sit in bed and call on my husband to do things for me. :(

You have plenty of time to accomplish everything in the world. Just enjoy life, enjoy being pregnant. This is your one opportunity to sit around and watch other people carry your bags or move that table over there!

I knew I'd get swollen ankles but my feet went up a whole size and never went back down (I had to get all all new shoes!) A friend told me it was because I was always barefoot - if I had worn shoes all the times it would have kept my foot bones from spreading out. Don't know if there's truth in that but I'll be doing it next time!

I agree with the moms about doing a belly cast if you think they are fun at all. (Some people think they're just weird or gross) We have done them with both our boys at 38 weeks and it's pretty neat to see what is the same and what is different between the two pregnancies. Also, I would highly recommend a water birth if you are even thinking about trying to go for a natural birth. We have a place here (in the Tri-Cities) that you can do a water birth and it has jets in the tub (to help with pain relief). It worked wonderfully for me both times! I didn't have to have any stitches after either of my births, which I think is pretty rare. Water is wonderful for helping your body stretch and is a nice, comfortable, less shocking way for the baby to enter the world. (plus they're cuter when you first hold them because they've just had a bath.) =) Good luck with whatever you choose!!

B. =)

Someone posted something similar below, but the best advice I got was to be aware that you may feel emotional (crying frequently), sad, and have moments that you wonder if you made a mistake after having the baby. It has been an incredible, amazing, awe-inspiring year- to fall head-over-heels in love with a new little person and discovering life through new eyes (and of course, challenging). But those first weeks and months of sleep deprivation, nursing/feeding issues, and generally being responsible for a new baby were ROUGH. Especially if your baby is colicky or fussier than others at first like ours. Asking for help when you need it is key. And just know that things will get easier again.

As a mama-in training, I have found that I have really honed in on my confidence and intuition- both important things in making decisions for my baby. Listen to your gut, and don't ever be afraid to ask your doctor or pediatrician questions, as many as you need to feel comfortable making decisions regarding your pregnancy, birth and child's healthcare. You always have the power to make decisions, and don't ever feel "rail-roaded." While I don't feel that doctors are out for fear-mongering at all, they do have a responsibility to look out for ANY complication, sometimes even when it is only a remote possibility. And sometimes all this extra information can stress you out. A doula can be a great advocate during your birth, as well as your partner.

I've read through most of your replies...overwhelming!! I've had two babies and they were similar pregnancies, HUGE differences in labor and delivery!! The most important thing I can suggest to you is to get a Dr. or midwife that you really like, don't be afraid to change 2-3 or 50 times! Find someone that will LISTEN to you. My first delivery was terrible simply put because my midwife wouldn't listen to me, I'm not going into details as to not freak you out. My second delivery, new Dr...it made all the difference in the universe. So, get a Dr. or midwife that you are comfortable with and that really listens to you and your concerns. Also, sometimes you are going to think "What have I done!" and that's okay!! Peole always make off like being a mom is the best thing in the world, and it is overall, but we'd all be lying if we didn't say there were days, or minutes or even split seconds that we second guessed ourselves and our super-mom abilities!!
Welcome to the club!!

Congrats on being pregnant. I have only read some of the responses, but the ones I read are great. Here are a few more suggestions.

1. Invest in Rolaids or Tums. They will become your new best friend if you have heartburn.
2. Also buy lots of comfortable pillows of different shapes and sizes because in your third trimester you will need all the comfort.
3. Advice and help is good but dont be afraid to tell people when you have had enough. They will understand.
4. Do a tour of the facility where the birth will happen, Get to know the surroundings you will be in.
5. Also, if your married, engaged, or dating someone ask them for their opinion because this is a huge thing for them too.
6. Look in to all methods of pain control,because you never know what will work for you.
7. Pack a bag for the hospital at least a month in advance.
8. Make sure you have a birth plan with your dr. already discussed before the day comes.
9. Last but not least be ready for the most amazing experience you will ever have when you hold your child for the 1st time

Hi J.,

Congrats! I wish I was pregnant again...I loved every day of it. You've probably heard these already but for one, C-sections are NOT scary. So many women freak out about them but I was thrilled with mine. My recovery was a breeze and Number 2, take the epidural. i had bad labor and it hurt SOOO BAD. I was in labor for 12 hours and it wore off twice. Those ladies who go without are crazy. My body eventually just stopped progressing and thats why I had a C-section. Also, the C-section scar is really really low on your pelvis and is pretty small so you can still wear hot swimsuits if you are lucky enough to fit in them after your baby is born. Also, you dont feel any less bond with your baby. Hope that helps!

I guess you opened a can of worms huh? There is so much to tell, and I always worrying about scaring new moms. The most important thing to remember is this is your pregnancy and your thing. I agree with some of the other posters-you need to do it the way that feels right to you, not succumb to either peer pressure or obgyn pressure. AND you may change your mind about that mid stream. (Halfway through my pregnancy I realized I hated the approach my obgyn took and I really wanted natural labor, so I got in touch with a midwife and "poof" -I was much more comfortable with the whole situation, even though it was more challenging in a way.
Yes, have supportive people around you. Like another poster, my mother was not that person and neither were some of my single friends. But I made new friends, etc. I guess I would say, be prepared as much as you can, how much life changes and relationships can change. Flexibility is key.
In retrospect, I feel I spent way too much time worrying about the pregnancy itself and not enough preparing for the after effects, aka, the baby. That baby is what is going to rock your world. You will love (and be loved)in a way you have never loved before, and you will be more challenged then you have ever been before. Trust me. It is true. Try to prepare for the physical stress you will embark on after the baby is born and have whatever help you can. If you can afford to hire a doula for instance-do it! Breastfeeding can be challenging but don't give up! It is totally worth it in every way and you will have a healthier baby who is more closely bonded with you. Nature knows what she is doing. Trust her and trust your own deeper instincts as a mom. Best of luck to you and yours.

Hello J.. Most importantly... congratulations. What an exciting time for you. It sounds like everyone else has covered just about everything. When I was pregnant... I read EVERY book and was glad that I did.... However, I wish I had read more prior to her arrival about breastfeeding and all that comes AFTER the baby arrives. I have found that BABY 411 is the best book for before the baby and after. It is a must purchase! My family and I call it the "Baby Bible." I would also recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block book or video if you are short on time. Best of luck to you. Pamper yourself and cherish every moment.

Well I really tried to read all the posts so I wouldn't repeat anything, but every time I come back to the page it has more added! I can't keep up! Unfortunately most of what I wish I'd known was for after the baby, not so much during pregnancy... I'm due #2 in a month or so and I still can't think of much to say about the pregnancy. So here goes:
If your breasts leak milk more than breast pads can handle (usually women with larger breasts have this problem initially) try LilyPadz. I only recently learned about these things but they actually STOP the milk from flowing instead of allowing it to leak and then absorb.
As far as stretch marks... It's all about genetics. I truly don't think the cocoa butter makes any difference. However, I do know that women who get breast augmentations take vit E to help with elasticity (which is where the stretch marks come in). I also read that Vit A, B, C, E, & Zinc in combination with good amounts of water give the maximum benefits for maintaining collagen, elasticity, etc. I wish I'd known or considered this while pregnant, because now I look like a burn victim on my upper thighs and breasts (I went from barely A cup to a full C, down to a full A, so there is LOTS of stretched skin...) Oh I should mention my mother had ZERO marks, yet I have them on my butt, legs, calves, breasts, stomach, and lower back. They all developed at the end of the pregnancy when I swelled really bad.
If you're going to breastfeed and things get so sore that you don't feel you can continue, try a nipple shield first. This saved my son's and my breastfeeding relationship. We went strong for 14 months. It's feared to cause nipple confusion but at 2 months I took it away and we were fine.
I had no idea that I would still hurt vaginally during sex post partum after a C-Section. We attempted at 4 weeks (my incision didn't hurt too much by then) and wow! Ouch! Apparently after birth when you're losing all the lining/blood, it includes the lining in the vaginal walls all the way up, and if you're breast feeding your body stays in a menopausal state, which if I recall correctly slows your body's regeneration of those cells. I think it was more than 6 months before sex wasn't uncomfortable (I could still do it, it just... didn't feel great).
No one told me I would feel used up and unappreciated in those first few weeks. All it seemed I did was feed, change, and put to sleep the baby, and then after my son was attached to my breast for the last 20 hours of the day my husband wanted sex! They don't understand that you can get "touched out" by nursing ALL DAY LONG! Getting the technique down for breastfeeding without pain is very important but I have to say that there is little said in the light of the relationship in the beginning. Some babies eat ALL the time (as in 45 mins on, maybe 30 off) for weeks at a time because they're going through growth spurts. Many women feel that they're not producing enough milk because the baby feeds so often, so they supplement with formula, sabotaging their milk supply (the more often the baby nurses the more your supply increases). Oh a Boppy is a wonderful tool. I still use mine and we're no longer breastfeeding. If cash is an issue, use a 40% off coupon at JoAnn's and get the generic pillow for around 15 instead of 25-35.
I wish someone would have told me, "If cosleeping is the only way to get everyone the maximum amount of sleep in the house, then it's OK to do so." Now, if you're a super heavy sleeper who doesn't wake at a freight train then obviously this is a bad idea, but as my husband says, I wake if a "mouse farts" so this was ok for us. I caught a LOT of slak from my MIL (who I found out later coslept with my husband in a WATER BED!!!!!!!!), and my husband even had to tell her and my FIL to butt out of our lives in regards to raising our son because he was OUR son, not theirs. There is a lot of information for an against it, so read up, and obviously don't pile fluffy pillows, comforters, etc on the baby. Mine slept on top of me on the boppy in my lap for about 2 months, with me propped up on pillows in the bed..!
Also, please check out this website: http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html . This is one of my favorites marked for sleeping issues, I highly recommend reading ALL she has on sleep. It's fantastic. I've tried a lot of those mom's sites and seen a lot of negativism. This one is awesome (it's been around for years and has SO SO many kernals of golden wisdom) and it does not have the judgmental negative stuff in with it...
I would also like to repeat what one wise mom said already: there are tough babies and there are easier babies... not many have the tough ones... and unless you know someone who has had a tough baby, people will try to tell you that it's YOUR parenting that has caused the baby to have the temperment that it has... DO NOT BELIEVE THIS FOOLISHNESS!!! It will make you crazy. On the other hand, don't feel too proud about having a good baby, because it has a lot to do with the baby's temperment.
Try peppermints for morning sickness if the other things don't work. Though I love lemon everything, while pregnant I couldn't do the lemonade anything... it tasted like Pledge to me!
Zantac is your best friend if Tums don't work.
DO sleep while you can. DO go out with your sweetheart as much as you can before the baby comes. Neither my husband nor I like leaving our son with anyone so we have not gone out alone together since we had him. As someone said, you may become one of the most fiercely protective people ever once that baby comes out, so just try to take advantage of being able to take care of them internally and go DO things! Movies! Vacation (take atleast one before baby comes!)! Dinner at favorite places!
Oh and I didn't see this one : minimize clutter in house before baby comes, so it minimizes how much it takes to clean later. Put knick knacks in boxes and store them so you don't have to dust the darned things. This will save some sanity later when you have to say "No" "Not for Baby" "Hands Off" or whatever phrase you choose to chant over and over again all day long...
This can be done later but if you're of the mind to do it now, clean the top shelves in your closets and start keeping all cleaning supplies there, along with any potentially dangerous/poisonous items so baby can't reach. Find cabinet locks that actually fit your cabinets.
Oh, I bought the high chair that is a seat that attaches to one of your chairs, made by Fischer Price, and it's the best thing ever. I've used my friend's real high chairs and find they're not quite as easy to clean, plus they cost 5x PLUS what mine did.
Best of luck! Your world is about to change forever!

I wish I would have know how important it is to take Omega Fish Oils.

2 great books: Baby 411 and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I started reading around 8 months pregnant and earmarked a few key chapters. Dads really seem to like Baby 411. Both are great references.

As the mother expecting her 4th stated; let the father have his own special bonding time with the baby. My husband always did the bath for my dtr and read to her before bed. I also started pumping my breastmilk so he could give her a bottle at night.

If you have the money seriously consider hiring a house cleaner for the first 2-3 months (if you are like me and can't handle a messy house) Otherwise just let things go and catch up later when you are getting more sleep. Don't be superwoman!

I wish I had been more personally informed about labor. I took a lot of things the doctor said as gospel and didn't do my own reading until later in my 1st pregnancy. By the time I realized my own thoughts on things, it was too late to switch doctors (or so I thought).

My personal favorite books: Ina May's guide to childbirth, Ina May Gaskin; and Birthing from within. I used a midwife and labored at home the second time around with much better results from a spiritual/ personal growth perspective.

The process of having a baby changes every pregnant woman- it can be a journey into being a vibrant and powerful woman, or it can be a process of having choices taken away and feeling like we are unimportant in the birthing. I had it both ways, and the results of y homebirth were fabulous.

Look into homebirth, or birthing at a birth center (or going to the Farm Community). The perspective on what women are capable of is very different in the midwifery model of care.
Congrats and good luck!

The advice that helped me the most was with morning sickness, to take my prenatal vitamin at night, because a lot of the time, the vitamin is what makes some pregnant women feel sick. Once I started to take my prenatal vitamin right before bed, I felt so much better throughout the day. Good luck!

1. you are clumbsy, and emotional
2. Sex is more enjoyable.
3. You will never be more beautiful than when you are preg!
4. Wear a maxi pad (the ultra thins are fine) at all times for the unexpected laugh, sneeze, cough.
5. Towards the end of the pregnancy your breasts will leak when you hear a baby crying.
6. People are nicer to a preg lady.
7. Congradulations!

Please read all you can about Breastfeeding and Lactation and expect the unexpected! With my daughter I struggled with cracked, sore, and sometimes bleeding nipples for nearly 6 weeks, but I stuck it out. Breastmilk is best - formula doesn't come close to all of the great things both you and your baby get from breastfeeding. Please get educated about it. Go to a La Leche League meeting, talk to certified lactation consultants, go to a breastfeeding class. This information will be indespensible when you have a hungry baby going through a growth spurt and you're terrified that your baby is starving.

Overall, trust your body. And don't be afraid to ask questions.

Congratulations!

Hi J.,
lots of great advice so far, but no time to read all of them so sorry if this has been said already. First, read the Dr. William Sears Baby Book, especially the part about attachment parenting. Get a 'sling' and practice putting it on a few times before the baby, and maybe even before your belly gets too big :0). Also, do some research about vaccines and there 'supposed' safety. Why they still vaccinate a day old baby born from healthy mothers with Hep B (a sexually transmitted disease) still blows my mind. That is something you can defer or not have done at all. Just look into it before assuming the doctors know what's best for your baby. Good luck!!!

I wish I had known more details about the healing process after birth. Everyone tells about birth, but I didn't expect to have to heal. I don't know why.

Water, water, water...
DHA, DHA, DHA, DHA...
and
that after 6 months along - if you feel like you're going to have a really bad period - that is the same feeling as labor contractions when they begin. I went into premature labor and didn't know it. I had no idea.

Congrats! Wonderful having all these moms share advice hope you are close with other moms you can share with as well. Most of my friend have children and they are my best resource for any question. But keep in mind every preganancy is different and every child is different so adapt to what feels right for you. The recommendation for the Jenny McCarthy was right on very funny. Pregnancy Brain- Never heard of it until I was pregnant but for multi tasker it threw me for a loop. You forget things mid thought. Do things wrong you have done a million times before. Don't worry it just happens just warn those around you and your boss. My boss didn't believe me until his wife was pregnant and she had it too. Pamper yourself. Toward the end of each of my pregnancies I could not reach my feet so I treated myself to a pedicure and it was worth it. Even if my clothes wern't fashionable my toes looked good and it feels so good to soak your feet. My shoe size went up one whole size and has not gone back so buy something a little bigger and comfortable. Don't be surprised by interest from complete strangers, some may actually want to touch your belly bump or ask personal questions. Very surprised my first pregnancy but prepared for my second. I think a pregnant woman has a warm aura that invites people in. Heartburn. Not everyone gets it but I did with both. Tums helps in the beginning but towards the end I had to take a Zantac every day (check with your ob). Everyone talks about food cravings but I had the opposite. My food aversions were to odd things. Couldn't even get near grapes. I could smell them a mile away and only with my first. So my advise is be prepared as much as you can but be open to all the wonderful crazy things that happen and enjoy.

Mom of 2 boys 3yrs and 1yr.

Hi J....I wanted to say congratulations and read what advice others have given to you. I was hoping to share some of those tips in a fertility support group that I'm involved in every other Tuesday night at Richland Hills Church of Christ called the Hannah Group. Since we started meeting, we've had 3 pregnancies in our group and another soon-to-be-
pregnant by faith through invitro! The power of prayer has
really been awesome as these women turn over their dreams of
being moms to God and God has blessed them! Anyway, I wanted
to get great tips to pass on to our Hannah girls...I love
seeing advice woman-to-woman on this great MamaSource website!
Blessings to you, hubby, & baby!
C.

I think the things that were most shocking to me were things that happened during and after the birth. It is a very messy deal, lots of blood, and sometimes you pee or poop during the delivery while you are pushing!!! I was also shocked by the fact that my tummy didn't "deflate" after the baby was born, and that I walked around looking pregnant for weeks afterward~I learned to NEVER go anywhere without the baby so people wouldn't ask when I was due!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Here are some things I wish I would have known or that I am glad I did....some people already said, but it's important to do.

Of course you'll need to stay active and eat healthy.

Keep putting on the cocoa butter (morning, afternoon, and night).

Do your kegel exercises (sorry I don't know how to spell it).

I think keeping a diary about what is going on with you, is a great way to look back on this amazing time in your life.

Know that you might be moody, but try not to let it get the best of you.

I think reading as much as you can, is great... but know that everybody is different. Reading is more about preparing you for anything that can, will, and might happen.

Go to the class that your Doc recommends.

Take lots of pictures.

Get the Body pillow. It is so comfortable!

Have a list of your family and close friends that you want to notify when you are in labor and ask someone to call them for you when it's time.

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT!!!

I hope this was helpful. Good Luck and I wish you the best.

Each pregnancy is different and each body is different.
For starters I say eat healthy and be in as good a shape as you can be. If all you can do is walk a few blocks each day, then do it. You could also do some squats and kegels to strengthen your pelvic muscles. That will come in handy three-fold: 1. to support the weight of your pregnancy 2.to help push the baby through 3.to recover and and have things down there return to as normal as possible (will help sex and urinating feel right again sooner)
Take your prenatals at night so as to not upset your tummy. If they constipate you, make sure they dont have the added iron, the regular iron is fine unless youre anemic. If you dont like what you have, ask for a different kind. I had a vanilla flavored one, there are all kinds out there. If worse comes to worse you can also just take childrens multivitamin. And rest whenever you feel like it.

Stretch marks: if you have good skin to begin w/ then cocobutter will help avoid them. But if you have bad skin then no amount of cocobutter will do you any good. Except its good for the itchy stretchy skin.

Sex: have plenty of it as long as you feel good. You are usually more sensitive during pregnancy and it will be more carefree during this time as well. No fear of an unplanned pregnancy, youre already preggo, lol. AND NO, your husband cannot do any damage to the baby whatsoever.

Breastfeeding: is wonderful, but dont let anyone pressure you into it. Some people have latching issues and nipple issues....dont stress it. The bottle and formula work just fine too. You do whats best for you and your baby. If you are able to breast feed I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did w/ my first one. I wasnt able to breastfeed my other 2.

Labor and delivery: dont try to be super woman. Its ok to have an epidural. If you prefer to go drug free, good luck. I hated getting the epidural, but would never give birth w/ out it. As for the episiotomy, you can request that someone massage your perineum during pushing to help stretch it out, but it will only stretch so far. If the babys head or shoulders are too wide then you could tear or get an episiotomy. There are differening opinions on both. Some say let your body natually tear, but then some dr.s say a tear is harder to stitch properly and can get out of hand. So some say get the episiotomy because thats easier to control and they can cut you precisely to size. A tear is usually more painful and takes longer to heal. And its not about how big the head is because the shoulders will be wider. Think about the options and do what you are most comfortable with.
Also, while laboring, try to walk as much as you can because once you get your meds and iv and stuff hooked up most places wont let you up out of bed.

EAT: they say not to eat before you go to the hospital to have the baby but I ATE. Otherwise it could be 24-48hours w/ NO FOOD. And how can they expect you to birth a child w/ NO food for 24hours and NO sleep?!?! NO WAY. Just make sure its nothing gassy or spicy. You know the stuff to avoid to stay out of the bathroom. I had eggs and toast and as the eggs are gassy, they did me just fine. So something light: cereal, cheese, yogurt, banana, soup...... You will need your energy. And after the baby is born: ask your hubby to go get your favorite meal for you and bring it to your room. Treat yourself.
Just remember its your body and you know it best. If you have any questions no matter how silly they may seem, ask us or better yet, as your doctor. You be in charge of your care. If you dont like something or need something speak up, dont be shy. Make it the best experience you can and enjoy. Its a wonderful time.
I wish you the best of luck.

I wish someone would have told me to wear shoes that I could wash off if they got dirty after delivering. The nurses took me into my room in a wheelchair and when I stood up...what was in, came out (gross but true! I was unaware that would happen as well. I suppose I never considered gravity!) I was wearing cloth flip flops which we washed off, but they were wet the rest of the time.

I just saw this and thought I would say I wish someone would have told me that being pregnant is not exactly a bed of roses you will feel muscles ache that you never knew you had and I was always calling people I have a pain and I would tell them where it was and they would just say its normal. I drove my dr. crazy. The other thing is a due date means absolutely NOTHING the baby will come when its ready!!! I had to be induced because I past my due date and was the size of a blimp and completely swollen. Anyways Congrats a baby brings so much joy to your life and you never feel a love in your heart more so than when you hold your child for the first time. On another note enjoy pregnancy even with the bad stuff once its gone you miss it. My dr told me that when you start feeling your babby move it will become routine and he was right

I didn't read many of the other responses, so maybe this is a repeat.
I wish I had read more about what to do AFTER you have the baby. It seems like more and more, we don't have people around us that have little babies or have taken care of them recently enough to teach us how to do it. And the hospital doesn't do any of that stuff anymore. Something as simple as bathing a teeny tiny baby can seem daunting when you've never done it before. Resources like this site, babycenter, kellymom, etc. are nice to have.
Also, hold and love your baby as much as possible. And when things seem tough and overwhelming and your patience is running thin, take a breath, relax, and remember that this baby phase will be over too soon.
And now some little tidbits for the pregnancy:
Pillows are your friend. And five pillows is not too many - even though it leaves very little room for the hubbs.
Cold showers are nice on hot days.
As are wet towels on your feet when you're sleeping.
Hemmorroids are inevitable (we all think we will be the lucky few who don't get them).
The stories people tell you about childbirth are going to be bad because people need to prep you for the worst so you expect it - and likely, things will be better. So don't let them get to you.
All these websites and books you read will tell you a million conflicting things. For example: there are lists of what you cannot eat while pregnant and yet you are supposed to eat a varied diet. Don't stress about it and feel free to eat a sandwich.

One thing my doctor said that stuck with me is that you aren't eating for two... you should be eating healthy for one. The baby will get what it needs.

One thing I was glad I did was to keep all family out of the hospital when I was in labor. I didn't want my husband to have to run back and forth between me and them, and when our daughter was born, we didn't have to share her with anyone. That first few hours we had with just the 3 of us was incredible!

The best advice I got was about parenting, not necessarily being pregnant. Someone said to listen to everyone's advice... about co-sleeping, vaccines, discipline, etc... and then take out what works for you. You don't have to find one book or school of thought and stick with it. It just might not work for you and your child. So, I read several books, and tweaked things from each idea to make it work for us.

Congrats!!!
1 - One thing I didn't know was how often the baby would get the hiccups in utero. It took me a couple of times to figure out what it was. So funny!
2 - While I agree about not reading too much (I didn't read What to Expect, b/c I heard it was a little too strict), I would highly recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. Whether or not you want to go for a natural birth, it's a wonderful book, full of great, positive birth stories that will help you prepare for your own birth. Every birth is different, but it's not a bad thing to have an idea about what to expect.
3 - Something I did that I'm so happy about now, was I had my husband take a picture of me just about every week during my pregnancy. It's so much fun to go back and see my belly getting bigger and bigger.
4 - Walk and do prenatal yoga.
5 - Something my yoga instructor told us...open throat means open vagina - make deep gutteral sounds during labor to help move along dilation.
5 - Drink lots of milkshakes, relax, smile and enjoy your pregnancy! :)

Congratulations, J.! Consider yourself so blessed! We came to earth to get a body and to gain experience, and being pregnant is one of those experiences that in a hundred different ways ties us to the women around us--our sisters. No matter what happens in your pregnancy, remember this: it has happened before to some woman, at some time, and most of all, that Heavenly Father knows you, He knows exactly what will happen to you and to your baby during this process, and that you can go to Him at any time in prayer for love and support. Educate yourself the best you can--don't rely completely on what other people say (i.e. "old wives tales") because while there is great wisdom in the experiences of others, there is also some very good medical information that can help you make wise decisions. Listen to your heart AND your doctor. Educating yourself will help you to be prepared for any "hiccups" along the way--things that you aren't expecting. Most of all, I think the best thing that I have learned from 7 pregnancies and deliveries is that each time is unique and wonderful and hard. Go with the flow. Be patient with yourself. Things have a way of working out. Take care!
L.

Yeah for you!!! I'm not sure if you are still intersted in advice (you have tons of reponses) but here's what I've got... don't be afraid to call your doctor with questions, no matter how stupid they may seem, I had a miscarriage and got prgnant with my daughter 2 months later and freaked out over ever pain, and I called, it's better to know something then be scared and stressed about nothing. As far as a birth plan goes, be careful, what I wanted and what my daughter wanted where totally different, she decided to be just over a week late and finally had to be helped out with an emergency c-section. Not my plan but the outcome was the same -a beautiful baby!!! Good Luck:)

Sex will probably be weird after the baby. My husband and I had a hard time returning to what was normal for us....even after 6 months. Then he went out of town on business for a couple weeks and when he got home, it all came back.

I would think this is expecially true if you're breastfeeding. It feels like there isn't any mystery or sexiness when you're body is a feeding station!

Splurge on a prenatal massage (or a few if you can) in the third trimester or whenever you start getting really uncomfortable. I had my first and only at 39 weeks and it was amazing! I wish that I had done it a bit sooner also. I found Meredith through Sweet Pea Studio.

Congratulations! Use this time while you are feeling pretty good to get ready! As quick as you can (before you start feeling like throwing up all the time) start making as many meals as you can, put them in ziplock freezer bags and store them in the freezer. You will have all sorts of nights where you are just not up to cooking a meal or have been too busy with the baby and this way, all you have to do is defrost and microwave it! You (and your husband) will be so glad to have an easy meal available for those tough days. The other thing you can do to prepare is to start taping some of your favorite movies and tv shows and put them aside. There will be those nights when you are up in the middle of the night with a fussy baby who won't go to sleep and you are tired and frustrated etc and there is absolutely nothing decent to watch at that time of night! If you have something good to watch, you will relax and in turn the baby will relax and hopefully you can both go back to sleep sooner. Good Luck!

Hey J.. CONGRATULATIONS!

Looks like you've received tons of advice and suggestions. I have one or two more to add to the lot for your consideration.

First---a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called HOW TO RAISE HAPPY CHILDREN. It's an awesome book filled with wonderful ideas and information to guarantee happy, healthy children.

Second----Contact the La Leche organization. You can find their website with Google, I'm sure. They will be excellent support for you should you happen to choose to breast-feed your child. I highly recommend this feeding method as it is the healthiest, safest way to ensure a healthy beginning for your baby with little to no discomfort to the mom!

Follow your own motherly instincts which seem to kick in almost immediately. Advice from others is great to consider but the heart knows which is best for your child. They are all different and require different methods of communication, discipline, and love-expressions to be shown to them.

Enjoy being pregnant, J.! it goes by sooo quickly so make the most of it.

GOD BLESS YOU and your hubby and your newest family member.

oh yeah, listen to your inner voice and the child will tell you his/her name! you'll be surprised what a difference a name can make in a little person.

good luck,
D.

I wish I had known...
that not everyone "just loves" being pregnant, it is just as normal even to dislike the gravid state.

(I grew up listening to my mom telling me how fantastic it was to be pregnant, I didn't enjoy it that much, had a real hard time mentally/emotionally in fact and thought there was something wrong with me---although it was a perfectly normal pregnancy physically.)

CONGRATULATIONS! Don't over do online info, you've 10 whole months to adjust and prepare. Women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years.

That I would get so nervous and worry - your body gets weird and I panicked over every little thing that happened. I had a real good pregnancy but I would have days where I would just worry that I was doing it right.

This has nothing to do with being pregnant, but afterwards. Breastfeeding can hurt worse than labor at first. Especially if you had the epidural during your labor, you'll wish you had it for your breasts if you nurse. It does get better, I loved nursing my first. It just took a week to get adjusted. Also, I did not have enough milk with my second. Simple fact of life. My baby was hungry, probably starving. Lots of people made me feel guilty about this. My wonderful doctor told me to do what's right for me. FORGET what anyone else says. Breastfeeding is something that certain people get really uptight about. Once I listened to my doctor and just switched to formula, I really started enjoying my 2nd. And for those out there who are horrified that I did such a thing, she is as healthy as my baby that was breastfed for a year. So don't get caught up in all that. Breastmilk is best, but formula is perfectly fine if you have trouble nursing. Don't let people make you feel guilty. Postpartum is hard enough! Good luck and congrats!

Congratulations!
I agree about the scary books-- I do like the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy because it tells you all of the cool stuff about child development and it has a what to do if... section but all of the scary stuff is in the back where you have to go looking for it.

If you are planning on breastfeeding, read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (LaLeche League's book) or attend a meeting before the baby is born-- women breastfeeding in public make it look so easy but it isn't-- it is a skill both you and the baby need to learn and I think a lot of women get frustrated by how challenging it is at the beginning.

I am soooo glad I took a childbirth class with my husband at the hospital before birth (make sure you take classes that end at least a month before your due date, you never know if baby'll come early or not) The info we learned in class helped us both SO much!
You CAN say no to the Dr!!
You need to move around while in labor, NOT be flat on your back in bed (or it'll take much longer and maybe hurt more)

My pregnancy was worse than my labor. I'd be glad to give birth again and nurse (and lose weight from it!) again but NOT be preg again. But the experience is different with each baby, I hear, even with the same mama and stuff.

EAT. But not for two! Always strive to eat healthy - baby wont eat the junk food, so it'll stick to YOUR body. Always have a little something - crackers, fruit, nuts, to keep from getting hungry and then nauseous. If your morning sickness is in the morning (mine was at night mostly) it helps to nibble on a couple crackers when you open your eyes, before you even get up.
DRINK DRINK DRINK WATER!!! Set a big water bottle in the bathroom and everytime you go (which will be often!) DRINK.
WALK (or whatever exercise you choose) It'll help with the delivery afterwards.
Make time for your husband. Dont shut him out during or after. HE IS IMPORTANT TOO! Be respectful and dont expect him to read your mind.

I read some various baby books and such. The only one (besides What To Expect) that I really remember is the one with the advice (baby whisperer? babywise? dont remember) to start baby as you mean to go on. Meaning, if you dont want to rock your toddler to sleep every time, let your baby learn to go to sleep on its own. If you dont want a toddler sleeping in bed with you & your husband (and maybe the next one as well), let baby start in its own bed. If you dont mind a toddler pulling on you, then let baby do it. If you dont mind a 6yo following you into the bathroom then let your 3yo do it. And so on. (Of course within reason but the principle is an important one.)

You have alot of great advice; however, I didn't see much on maternity clothes. Target and Kohl's have great clothes for a reasonable price. Find some nice "skinny" maternity jeans or pants that you love and the ones you wear at 5 or 6 months pregnant will probably be the ones you wear home from the hospital. Also, have a "slimming" loose shirt that you look nice in to wear home from the hospital, especially for photos. Make sure your hair is how you want it before the due date. Bring your camera and camcorder to the hospital. If you plan to breastfeed, nursing camisoles are wonderful.
I have a 2 1/2 year old and soon-to-be 4 year old, both girls and I loved being pregnant with both of them the entire time. Enjoy the whole process, it will go by quick. Also, have a nice pregnant photo taken, I have snapshots, but never a studio photo and I wish I would have. Congratulations!

One thing I did that I think helped to keep both of my labors down to less than 3-hours was that from the moment I found out I was pregnant until the day before I delivered I walked a mile everyday. Near the end it was slow with pauses here and there, but I think the walking was good.

I did lamaze for the first pregnancy, but for the second I took a pregnancy yoga class everyweek and just used those breathing techniques- worked better in my mind..

To add to the gall bladder subject, stones can happen because of the pressure from the growing uterus. Exercises like pelvic rock, sitting indian-style on the floor, and not lying on your back will help keep the uterus forward and decrease the pressure.

I also agree that taking a class is important for childbirth. I took Bradley natural childbirth classes, and now I'm teaching them! I felt really prepared, and my birth went great.

I just saw your posting, so you might not get it, but ...
-Use a doula!!!! I had one (my friend who was an OB nurse) for each of my labors before we knew the name "Doula".
-When everyone is giving you conflicting advice, go with your gut feeling. Don't feel like you have to defend your actions, either.
-In the same vein, listen to your gut before you listen to your doctor or the baby's father - although don't forget that the father deserves a significant role in the decision-making, if he's available.
-Don't let yourself be afraid of the way you feel during your labor and delivery. Fear increases tension and pain. Don't allow yourself to panic. The more relaxed you allow yourself to be, the easier it will be.
-Ask your OB what his/her C-Section rate is. Avoid a physician who's C-Section rate is above 25% (unless it's a high-risk practice).
-Talk to your baby in utero. Read anything and everything out loud to the baby. I know it sounds silly. I know two women (they don't know each other) who read to their unborn first children. Both children were at the top of their academically gifted groups throughout school. Now, these two 23 year olds are both way ahead of their peers in their international Masters' programs in college. They both have impressive scholarships. It might be coincidental, it might not.
Congratulations!

I don't know if you had this already, but I thought I'd put my two cents in. First, take lots of pictures! I didn't have a good camera when I was prego the first time and I really wish I would've. I took enough pictures the second time to make up for it though. Second, write down dates of when things happen. For example, first time you feel baby move, when you started to show, all the "rude" things people say (I had a lot of that the second time because I got a lot bigger) and all the unsolicited advice random people will give you. Third, stretch marks are either going to appear, or they aren't. It doesn't matter how much cocoa butter/lotion you rub on your tummy. If you are predisposed to get stretch marks, you will get them. The lotions will help them fade more quickly afterwards though, and it might be fun for your baby's daddy to rub it on. (My husband got weirded out when I asked him if he wanted to do it. So it's not for everybody. ;)) Fourth, it WILL end eventually. So when you are 7 months along and it seems like you have been, and will be, pregnant forever, just enjoy it and realize it is just a temporary state! For now, just enjoy the easy part of parenthood! Good luck and congratulations!

Hi J.,

Two things I wish I had known about my pregnancy...Let me start of by saying I loved being pregnant and never felt sad or too emotional during my pregnancy. What no one tells you is that you may be so excited to see this little creature and once she is here not feel bonded immediately. That is totally normal. I would sit and cry while rocking her! I felt sad that my life was changing and not for the better. I seriously wondered if I had made a mistake (and she was planned)! It went a way after a couple of weeks and I couldn't love my daughter more! I never bothered to research postpartum/baby blues because I didn't think I was a candidate for it- I am pretty even-keeled and would work out all the time. I realize the hormones and the lack of sleep really take a toll on you mentally and physically.

The other thing I learned was that you learn to function on virtually no sleep for months and your body will get used to it. I am not trying to sound negative, but just want to know that if you feel any of what I mentioned, it is totally normal and it too will pass. I adore my 3.5 month daughter! Good luck to you.

Oh by the way, you can use any cream you'd like, but stretch marks have to do more with the type of skin you have. I gained 55 pounds and don't have one stretch mark on my stomach and I didn't use my creams all the time.

I wish that someone would've been honest about how MISERABLE you are. The exsaustion, the stretch marks, Nausea, heatburn, gas, not sleeping well for months on end, having a leg or whatever jabbing under your ribs. The way that they discribe something as "an uncomfortable sensation" is such bull! You're sick, it hurts, you're HUGE! I just wish that I would've been more prepared so that I didnt worry about every little ache and pain, fearing that something was wrong. That being said, having done it twice, I would do it over in a second, no questions. The feeling of your child growing inside of you is pure magic. Having your heart grow 100 times its original size at the sight of your newborn, watching these amazing people grow up, getting to know them, loving them with all of your heart. There is no better gift in the world.

The best advice that I got? Get in the pool as much as possible. Keep a journal, including photo's of your growing belly. Use lots of shea butter on the tummy. Get pedicures when you can't reach your toes anymore,(and ask for a little extra leg massage) Most importantly, enjoy the time that you have with your partner, just the two of us, because soon you will be three!

the pregnancy hormones decrease the gall bladder's effectiveness and increase the chance of gall stones. i learned that from a nurse while in the hospital for gall bladder surgery when i was 7 months pregnant. if i had known, i probably would have restrained myself in my fast food eating during the pregnancy. we did a lot of cheeseburgers, not because i was craving them, but because they were easy, fast, and cheap. without that high amount of fat going into me, i could have been able to at the very least postpone the surgery until after the pregnancy, or take medication after the pregnancy to dissolve the gall stones and avoid surgery all together.
another thing no one told me was that when you're breastfeeding, the breast not in use can leak. for weeks i was changing my son's pj's every night and trying different brands of diapers because his clothes would be wet after i nursed him and i assumed it was because of leaky diapers. when i finally realized it was me getting his clothes wet, i felt so dumb. now i keep a towel handy just in case and check for dripping during breastfeeding.

1. Use either Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion and/or "Lay It On Thick Body Cream" from Bath and Body Works on your tummy, thighs and butt during your last trimester to help prevent stretch marks.
2. While you're tummy is little know and you are still bendable, work out and stretch your hips. I think the muscles are called the I.T. bands. When you're in the third trimester your hips will hurt at night from sleeping on your sides so much; stretching them and making them strong will help.
3. If you get sick or get a cold, you pretty much have to deal with it!
4. MOST IMPORTANT: Although you might be feeling miserable and you don't want to be pregnant anymore...ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS. You could be sick as a dog the whole nine months but remember, it's only nine months and you will miss feeling the baby move inside you. Day by day time crawls (especially once you hit 30 weeks) but week by week the time goes by really fast! Good luck!

eat a healthy diet, EXCERCISE (as much as possible), and use tons of cocoa or shea butter on your tummy, legs and chest!

Your life and body will never be the same.
C. B

I haven't read the responses, so I apologize if I'm repeating. Get the "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" from the library or see if a friend has a copy for you. Someone lent me her copy. That book will tell you the "real deal." I didn't like it at first because I thought the style of writing was a little too basic, but the truth is, it's the only book that tells you like it is and what to expect. The only surprise I had as a result is that I am one of the women who swells even more AFTER delivery. My ankles were so swollen for the first 3 days, and I stayed swollen for almost 2 weeks, then suddenly I had dropped all of my pregnancy weight except 7 lbs by 8 weeks. (5 months later I still haven't lost those 7 lbs!)

Good luck --- and congratulations!
M.

The only advise I will give you is ENJOY every moment of this time with your baby. I was so worried during mine with my son (I was high risk) I wish I could have just relaxed & enjoyed more. I still sometimes miss feeling him move around in me. So enjoy every moment!

I wish someone had told me to relax and not worry. It is easy to worry about the pregnancy and labor/delivery. But you have a Dr. and a team of medical professionals to help you through this. The "hard part", in my opinion, is what happens after you bring the baby home! They are wonderful little beings, but easier to take care of when they're "inside" than when they're "outside".

I wish I had known more about the process our bodies go through after birth, say the first six weeks.
I wish I had had more help with meals, laundry, etc, during the first three months. Frozen healthy meals would have been wonderful!
I wish I had not gone back to work when she was 2 1/2 months part time for a month and a half. I think that early bonding time is most important. I have not worked away from her since.
I wish I had had more community, closely related and close in proximity. I came here initially for school and decided to stay. We do have some great friends here. I am happy she is attending a wonderful school about a block away. We are a walk away from our grocery and other stores. We live a walk or Marta away from entertainment. We live within a great community.
I wish we had lived closer into the city. Getting around without having to put her in a carseat would have been so much better. I used the New Native Sling and the Ergo for travel when we did not need to use a carseat.
Our homebirth experience was absolutely wonderful. She was born in the bathtub! I wish I had had plans for the birthing tub sooner. While we had a most beautiful birth experience, I have since met someone who would have been the perfect midwife for us.
I wish her father had been part of the birth experience.
I am happy I have chosen to go natural/organic with everything, especially her health care. The few times she has processed symptoms, it has been rarely more than a 101 fever that lasted a few hours on and off.
Oh, I just noticed you wrote "being pregnant". Well, I guess all these things are important to plan before the babe comes!
I felt pregnancy and the birth process supported me in being a better Mommy to my daughter. When things came up emotionally, I looked for the reason and how I could be better regarding the issue. Then I handled what I needed to handle. Sometimes it was just a matter of sanctifying the moment and sometimes I needed to take a particular action.
Off to school to pick her up! I hope this helps. Enjoy every moment you can always! Live your life like it is the greatest blessing to be alive! Offer that kind of peace to your child! And, to those around you! That is the best I can offer for you.
Many, many blessings!!!!!!
S.

One thing I wish I new was you need to make sure you are getting enough calcium. Especially during the third trimester. You can get HORRIBLE leg cramps if there is a calcium deficiency, and also your teeth are more susceptible to cavities,as the calcium that usually goes to your teeth is being sucked up by your little bundle of joy.

My doctor suggested eating two tums per day, which helped with the heartburn you may get along with pregnancy, and also has a nice supply of calcium, so you are killing two birds with one stone.

I hope this helps, and congratulations!!

I almost totally agree about the pregnancy books. I was so knowledgable from reading them that I felt as though I needed to spend my pregnancy in an airtight, fully disinfected room. I knew too much of the possibilities to freely enjoy my pregnancy. I will say, however, that some of the knowledge was great to have and it really helped.

You've gotten some great advice!
I only saw this once so I feel the need to say it again...During the winter either park close to your office door or have your Hubby drive you. I had to park on the top level of a parking garage and walk across a street to get to my office, I fell twice because they did not put chemicals down...so my Hubby drove me from then on (plus it wore me out to walk to the office :) )
Secondly Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing...it is not always difficult! I heard all of the horrible things like cracked nipples and all but I had none of that. It was not the most comfortable experience for the first few weeks but it didn't hurt. Use the Lactation Consultant at the hospital to your advantage, you are entitled to several visits after you leave also!

Enjoy this magical time and take every piece of advice you get with a grain of salt...Always remember that Mommy knows best, follow your instincts and do what is right for your family.

Congratulations! This is going to seem more depressing than I intend as I just went through a miscarriage. This was my second pregancy, but first miscarriage. I wish I had realized how lucky you are when you get a healthy pregnancy without complications. It is really a miracle. Sadly, bad things do happen, and no one is immune. But that just makes the miracles that much more enjoyable. Life is fragile; I pray all goes well for you.

Congratulations! I am a mom of three girls. First of all I wish my hubby had a warninig that I would be so moody and grumpy. We both didn't expect the crazy mood swings. They didn't subside until well after the baby was born. Also I wish someone would have told me that breastfeeding was painful (at first). I almost gave up on breastfeeding when we hired a lactation consultant. It wasn't until she told me that initially breastfeeding can be extremely painful for some people. I pushed through the pain and continued and it was the best experience of my life. Good Luck and God Bless!

Hey there, J.. You've opened a topic that we all love to talk about! Thanks!

A couple things I didn't see (though I only got about halfway through the responses):

Interview pediatricians before you give birth to find a practitioner whom you feel comfortable partnering in the health maintenance of your child. There are so many decisions to make - about vaccines, especially, - in the first two years of your baby's life. Do you want them? Do you want to delay them? It's important to find someone that you like, who answers your questions, listens well to your concerns, and is patient and open. "The Vaccine Book" by Dr. Sears is a good overview of vaccines, their histories, the pros and cons of each them, and so on - in my opinion.

Whole Foods carries a powdered form of calcium w/magnesium called "A to B Calm." My midwife recommended I take this powder when I started having charlie-horses in my calves that would send me leaping out of bed at 3 a.m. during my pregnancy. Ouch!! It worked. Really well.

Going into month 8 until the end, I had major heartburn. I felt like a fire-breathing Dragon Lady. Taking digestive enzymes with meals helped a lot to reduce the heartburn. And, yes, my baby was born with hair (there's an old wives' tale about heartburn and hairy newborns)!

The best advice I got is that you're the CAR during your pregnancy, but that the baby is the DRIVER. Make your plans, inform yourself, make choices about your pregnancy and delivery -- but more importantly, surround yourself with a great team to support you, and be gentle with yourself. The baby's going to come out the way the baby needs to come out - regardless of your ideal plans!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. :)

I think you should take time to enjoy your pregnancy. My first, I walked on clouds for 8 months (I gave birth at the endof August in Tucson - the heat got to me in the 9th month!!) My daughter would stick her foot out, and I would run my fingernail down the bottom of her foot. It was fun to see what she would do.

I think you should decide for yourself if you want to know the baby's gender. When I was pregnant with #2, EVERYONE kept saying "Oh, you're THE ONE who doesn't want to know". Apparrently, I was an oddity for not wanting to know. Make that decision and stick to your guns whatever you decide.

I think you should look at the books - but only the development stuff. I had "What to Expect" and I read the "these are the things happening about this time" part and checked the baby's progress - other than that I left the book alone.

I think the person who came up with the idea of the body pillow was a GENIOUS! I could tuck it under my tummy and sleep on my side. I hate sleeping on my back, but if I did, I folded the pillow in half and stuck it under my knees for support. It was SO great!

And, last - adjust yourself to the thought that people will want to talk to you because you're pregnant. Actually, they may want to touch your tummy - I don't know why, but it's like a magnet. As soon as your little bwamp is out there for people to see, they almost seem unable to help themselves. Start planning now how you'll react. Some freak - I never did. But, that's the kind of person I did. And seeing other people's excitement was kinda fun - even if you don't know them!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Congrats! I planned well with oil and butter on my stomach for stretch marks- and proud to say I have NONE on my stomach. HOWEVER- I wish I had known about the butt and hips- I didn't really gain much weight, but my butt and hips are covered with stretch marks- ha ha . Keep those greased up, too!

Being a mother makes you incredibly morbid--you come up with every possible scenario in which your baby will be horribly taken away from you. And it doesn't stop-ever. My mother says that being a grandma means that you just have more people to worry about.

Congrats!

1. Leg cramps are common. Start yoga now before bed to stretch and get used to a routine. Having your husband "rub out" your cramp can make it worse...best to just walk around and stretch.
2. You will carry in the winter. See if you can get a closer parking space if you work. I taught and went a bit earlier and at the very same time every morning so that the custodian knew to get that sidewalk cleared during spring snows...and he often walked me in side.

I'm glad I read what I did. I read ALL the magazines I could (Fit Pregnancy being my fav) and only two books: What to Expect (boring, but let me know what to look forward to) and my all time favorite, which I buy for any expecting friends: The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears and his lovely nurse wife. They have EIGHT kids, they've been through it all! And, I like his approach to loving your baby through whatever comes along. It's pretty much all normal. Another fav, and FUN book series is called The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, TGG to the First Year, TGG to Toddlerhood, etc. She's so funny, but RIGHT! I learned a lot about breastfeeding before birth, but shortly after, I read "So THAT'S What These Are For!" Funny, well written and good help.
The one thing I wish I had known beforehand? Have all the sex you can possibly stand while you're pregnant! Because, the first time (or 10) will hurt like CRAZY after the baby is born and then, you're so tired you won't care if you ever have sex again! This goes on for about a year. Warn the hubby!
Oh, by the way, I loved being pregnant and would do any of it all over again. Enjoy the feeling and the humor. It'll be much more fun. Congratulations!

Coco Butter is a wonderful thing, everytime you itch do not scratch rub on coco butter. Scratching can give you stretch marks. The most important thing is that in the end the gift you are given is worth any morning sickness or discomfort. The first time they put your baby in your arms is the most beautiful magical moment you will ever experience. You will read a lot of the bad things people for some reason like to tell pregnant women how horrible it all is. I just told my self that millions of women before me have done this and that in the end I would have an angel in my arms. I have had two babies. All pregnancies are different, all labors are different. Try not to listen to the Horror Stories. IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!!!! Do however take the hospital classes they help. Congrats, Good luck and soon all of us moms will welcome you into the world of unconditional love.

S. M

1 - Move more! Especially early on, get as much into the habit of moving around. If you are already in good shape/fairly active keep it up (except hazaards sports like skydiving, scuba, horseback riding...your doctor can tell you which). If you're not really active, start slow and get recommendations from your OB. But the better shape you are in, the stronger your muscles and the easier the delivery. Swimming is really good (lap swimming especially) and I believe Yoga is too as long as you avoid certain poses. Again ask your doctor and your yoga instructor.
2 - Watch what you eat. Being pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche (sp?) to eat anything and everything. It only takes 300 more calories to support pregnancy, unless you are already unterweight. And make those calories count. You do need extra dairy and protein, plus lots of vitmins found in fruits and veggies and beans. Start eating healthy now and it will be easier to teach kiddos to eat healthy.
3 - relax! pregnancy is a normal condition, and most things that happen during pregnancy are normal, although they feel weird to you. If you have any concerns, call your OB and then stop worrying unless he tells you to! (and then do something about it. if there is nothing you can do, then als don't constantly worry about it). Strees hormones aren't great for mommy or baby.
Have fun and congratulations

Congratulations! I just had my 3rd baby three weeks ago and I still wasn't prepared - every baby and every pregnancy is different so the best you can do is to be educated and prepared for whatever life throws your way. But here are a few of my favorite pregnancy items:

- Two body pillows. One for the front and back (trust me).
- Regular pedicures with massage.
- Drink LOTS of water. Will help prevent stretch marks and constipation (which may reduce your chances of getting hemorrhoids too).
- Exercise and stretch every day. Will help ease aches and pains, keeps your mood levels slightly more stable, and makes post-partum recovery much, much easier.
- Have heat and eat meals prepared prior to the end of your pregnancy. The last thing I wanted to do my last 3-4 weeks was cook.
- Have heat and eat meals prepared for after you get home. I didn't have to cook for 2 weeks thanks to some wonderful friends and family. It was the best gift I received!
- Hire a housekeeper to come in at least once a month to deep clean the areas you can't like the kitchen floor and the bathrooms (and request environmentally friendly products or provide your own for them to use).
- Have an antacid on hand BEFORE you need it in the middle of night, thereby waking poor hubby to run to Walmart to pick it up for you.
- Have your nursery done and organized before you have the baby. Trust me when I say the last thing you feel like doing after you get home w/your baby is putting together a room.

There is really so much more - like a great nursing bra if you are breastfeeding, a sling or carrier, or someone warning you that your stomach can look like a deflated balloon for weeks or even months after you deliver and to invest in a good body shaper (Assets by Sara Blakely at Target is what I recommend). It's all about personal preference and finding what works for you and makes sense.

Enjoy your pregnancy and get as much sleep as you can BEFORE you deliver!!!

1. Take Enfamil Lipil instead of fish oil for OMEGA 3. My OB recommended it because fish oil is too greasy and that is not good for your fetus. Ask your OB for samples.
2. Ask your OB for lots of sample formula in case you cannot breastfeed for some reason. (Don't be shy. They have a lot of those from manufactures.)
3. Remember to read about being a parent besides reading about pregnancy.
4. Use diapers with wetness indicator (such as Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive Diapers) for your baby's first few months.
5. If budget allows, hire a postpartum doula (who will take care of you and your baby for a month). It costs about $3,000. Mine cooked for me and my husband, fed our baby (after I pumped), and cared for and bathed our baby.

I don't know if someone said this already, but what I really wish I had known was that doctors aren't always right.

I swelled and itched all over, quite suddenly in the eight month. I called the doctor on-call who told me I had eaten too much salt that day (which was simply not true. Too much sugar maybe, but not too much salt!) Several days later, I went into labor and my son was born 4 weeks early. (I later recalled that I had read in a midwife book that those two symptoms, especially paired together, happen with some women just before they go into labor.)

If you think or feel that something is wrong or even just "off", get a second opinion!!!!! I may have been able to prevent my son's premature birth if the doctor had not dismissed my concerns or if I had sought a second opinion.

(My son was fine, very few complications :)

P.S. my 2 cents on baby books: I like to have as much information as possible, so I read everything I could find. The Pregnancy Bible was good for feeding my hypochondriac tendencies :) Don't get that one unless you don't mind being scared. A nice gentle classic is the What to Expect When You're Pregnant. It tells you what you NEED to know, but not all the other details. Good for those who don't need to know the reason for the symptom, just when to call the doc and when not to. If you're going to get a pregnancy magazine, just get one, they tend toward the same info in each one. If you are going to skip the preg mag but want something that will touch on pregnancy and have lots of parenting stuff, try Parents Magazine. They cover all ages including pregnancy each month. You can get one year and just save them- the age-by-age stuff is mostly relevent year to year with a few exceptions. (Parenting Magazine is another good one, I just happened to get a great deal on Parents after having bought both for some time.)

Hi J.,

Occasionally, I look at my sweet 9-year-old daughter and remember vividly the wild ride that was our birthing experience. My Mom advised me to be ready to go early (each of her babies had come early and fast), but we had no idea that my labor would be two hours flat of STAGE 3 labor -- I never went through stages 1 and 2! My husband drove like Dale Earnhardt to the hospital, and we barely made it in time. I walked in at 10 centimeters dilated, and she was out in 17 minutes and 4 pushes!

I pass this along, because the large majority of first-time moms experience a long and often arduous labor, such that the quick ones aren't even discussed in childbirth classes -- like the one we took. I felt that was a disservice to the admittedly few labors that progress quickly, creating some very tricky logistics issues.

Anyway, please just keep in mind that this does happen, and you would do well to have a plan in place. You know, keep your legs shaved, cuz there isn't time for that when 'the time' comes! ;-) Enjoy your pregnancy and the whole experience!

S. A.

I don't know if there is anything I wished I had known. Everyone will tell you their story about pregnancy and child birth. My friends told me things about their experience and mine was completely different.

One thing I found very helpful durning pregnancy was doing walking and yoga. My pelvis became really sore and stretching was great. Both were very relaxing to me and I used yoga breathing techniques during labor. I wanted to have a natural birthing experience and the breathing is what I found to be most useful.

For child birth, if you are interested in doing it naturally, I would recommend finding a doula or I had my friend who had given birth naturally three months before I did with her second child.

Eat what sounds good. Wear stilettos if you want to (over 8 months, and still wearing them!). Decide what you want to do with your labor and delivery early on and RESEARCH IT like crazy. Once you make your decision, don't feel guilty when people try to tell you you are crazy. Most of all, find the happy little perks here and there and enjoy it! It all ends eventually.

Im going to keep mine sweet and simple, your body does a lot of gross weird things. they are normal.

If I knew this I would have done it for both of my children. I recently saw pictures of women who made a mold of their bellies. When it dried they painted pictures on them. I thought that was sooo neat.Congratulations and Welcome to motherhood!
Take Care
J.

It does some weird stuff to your skin, IE: skin tags, dry patches, mysterious bumps (I still get them on my hands...) But everyone is different in this area, I know some people who said their skin was never better!! Good luck, enjoy the ride!

Congratulations! It is such an exciting time, I just had my baby in April of this year.
-Make sure to stay active...
-Eat healthy!
-I always had heartburn so keep some Tums with you at all times.
-Hopefully your hubby doesn't mind giving you back, leg, and foot massages! Alot! I had a constant pinched nerve in my back, it was sooo painful, and my legs swelled up.
-Dress cute, your body is changing and it can be depressing so do what you can to feel good about yourself. A pregnant woman is so beautiful, I miss my tummy soo much! I can't wait for baby #2!!!
-I had an epidural and my labor wasn't that bad, I was very calm and pleasant. But it hurts REALLY BAD after when you are healing (I didn't expect it to be so painful to heal-I could hardly walk)

- First off...Congrats!
- This may sound funny...But I wish I knew that I would have GAS that rivaled my husband! There is a book that I read when I was pregnant...The title was something along the lines of 'A Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy'. Comical and worth the read.
- Take the classes that the hospital recommends...Whether it is the Lamaze ones, the Baby 101 or breast Feeding (if you choose to), it's worth it.

Enjoy this time and the feelings! So worth it!

I just saw your question and I see that you have a lot of responses so this may be a repeat, but I wish I had eaten healthier during my pregnancy. I have dieted all of my life and was always really thin, but when I got pregnant I took full advantage of it and ate anything and everything I could get my hands on. I gained 60 pounds as a result of that and am finding it very hard to lose the weight now. Don't have the mindset that you are eating for 2.

I love the week by week guide about what was going on with my baby. I think it was on babycenter.com?

Make sure you buy a body pillow for the last few months...my hips would really hurt at night.

Make sure you enjoy every minute of it. A baby is a true blessing and when it's over, it seems like it went too quickly.

Wow...I'm a little late to respond but my best advice is to write EVERYTHING down. I recorded everything in a calander, from the first movement I felt when I was pregnant to my 7 mos. first smile. This way you can always look back if you have any questions or want to compare any notes with anyone. Good luck and enjoy it and Congratulations! You will miss being pregnant.

BEST advice was to read the book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. I wish I had known my options and had been better informed for my first. It's a wonderful experience - enjoy every bit of it and take care to eat well.

My best!

Congrats! What an exciting time for you! I guess I wish that someone had told me that "morning sickness" doesn't necessarily come in the morning! I didn't really get sick, but would get the most awful nauseous feeling in the afternoons. For some reason, dairy seemed to make it go away, so I always had a couple pieces of cheese in my lunchbox I took to work for the late afternoons. And, I wish someone had told me about the glucose test. I am not sure they make everyone take it, but because I was over 30 I had to. You go to the lab and have to drink the most disgusting sugary orange (sometimes cola flavored, I have heard) drink and then have your blood drawn. The test wasn't hard or scary, the drink was just gross! And I second everyone that said something about knowing more about nutrition! I ended up with gestational diabetes during the later part of my pregnancy, and even though they sent me to a nutritionist, the diet THEY gave me was totally wrong for dealing with the diabetes. It would send my sugar through the roof! I ended up reading up online instead and figured out for myself what would trigger my sugar. I was lucky with the diabetes though, I was able to manage it on my own and didn't have to take injections, all I had to do was monitor my blood sugar during the pregnancy. That in itself was hard, because I hate needles, but now I am prepared for next time! The last thing I can think to tell you is to make sure you take "me" time now. After the baby comes, that will be practically unheard of! Even if it is just sitting quietly and reading a book...sometimes I would do just about anything to be able to get an hour of "me" time! But most of all, just enjoy this time. I loved being pregnant! I am finally at the point of entertaining the idea of having another one, so we'll see! Good luck!!!

do the best you can and don't be hard on yourself if you don't feel able. Drink plenty of water, eat right, exercize moderately or according to your abilities, and before getting pregnant, stock up on crackers, broths, and other foods easy on the stomach. other premade foods are good for days you don't feel good

I think the absolute most important piece of advice I can give you is to not be shy about telling people what you want to hear. I will have to explain this. When you are pregnant, women (even ones you don't know) will come up to you and tell you their birth experiences. Not all of them are wonderful. What I tell every pregnant woman I see is that as soon as someone starts to tell you about their (or someone elses) birth experience, stop them!!! Ask them "Are you about to tell me how wonderful and virtually painless it was and how it was the most beautiful experience you could ever imagine?" If they say "no", tell them you would rather not hear it. It amazes me how many women who have never gone through childbirth tell me how awful it is. The only reason they think this is because some cruel (or perhaps just unthinking) woman told them this. If you go into childbirth thinking it is going to be awful and painful... it will be. I am not saying that some people don't have difficult births, but it is not a given. I have given birth twice. Both births had some complications. The first was 24 hours of labor, the second 12 hours. I received no medications or IV's with either. I ate and walked when I wanted to, peed when I wanted to and got into what position I wanted to. It was a wonderful and virtually painless experience and was by far the most beautiful experience I could ever imagine. There is some pain, but not horrible and it doesn't last very long and when it is over, it doesn't matter anymore. I have a wonderful midwife I would love to introduce you to. Send me a message if you are interested. Always remember that expectations fulfill themselves! Never doubt that delivery will be a truly awsome event! Also keep in mind for the stories you have possibly already heard, if it was that bad, no one would have more than one...

The only advice I would give is 3 things:

1. Don't listenn to the horrible stories that mom and grandma and great-grandma have to tell. Medicine is far more advanced than it was when they were having babies and the same will be true when your little one has a baby.

2. Be open to birthing options. You decide what you think is best for you and baby. Do you want a hospital or a birthing center. Do you want a natural, water or pain-free medicated birth. What ever decision you make - be confident in it and don't listen to what others say. Everyone has an opinion. Go into this being positive and it's okay to be scared of what is going to happen. I've had two babies and both were different and I was just as scared the second time as I was the first time. Everyone is scared of the unknown.

3. Pick a doctor that respects your decisions. Don't let them pressure you into something you don't want. Use your mother's instinct - even though baby isn't here that doesn't mean that you don't have a feeling of something is wrong.

what a great question! i wish i had known about this web site the first time i was preg. here is the one thing that no one ever told me! breast feeding is soooooooo hard! i took a class before hand and still so hard. the lactation consultant at the hospital was no help at all and by the time i came home my nipples were bleeding because my little girl had latched on wrong and after that kind of start it is really hard to continue when you're in such pain. especially pain you didn't expect. if you know that going in maybe it can be prevented. force the lactation c. to help you because i am sure they are a wealth of knowledge but they must be overworked because i didn't see her enough with either of my two daughters while in the hospital. my advice would be to find someone you are close with who was successful with bf and ask them to help you from the start. also if there is anyway to keep visitors to a minimum or to stay away for the first few days whule you get the hang of bf that wouldve helped me. i had a ton of visitors and i get that they wanted to see the baby but brand new babies eat so often and i didn't really feel comfortable having my bob out in front of my in laws! best of luck it is so much fun!

I remember after giving birth, I looked at all the people who I knew around me that had already had babies and said, "why didn't you tell me how hard labor is?" They all said the same thing, "we didn't want to freak you out". Maybe it's just me, but I like to KNOW what I am getting into. Giving birth is hard and very painful to the point where it is like an out of body experience. It can be emotionally traumatic and after it is over you will feel like your body literally went to war. Then afterwards while you are trying to cope and recover from giving birth (and haven't slept in somewhere ranging from 24-48 hours) you have to try to find a way to be cognisant enough to learn to 1.)breastfeed your baby if that is your choice,2.)deal with family members and possibly friends coming in and out of your room, and 3.)just the basics of caring for your newborn. The hospital will expect you to watch videos etc.. that are supposed to help you but you are way to exhausted to retain most of that information. Hopefully your mate will be VERY supportive. You are going to need him. Then comes the HARD part. Going home. Be prepared to get very little sleep. Think about that. Think about it alot. Plan ahead and do whatever you can to make your life easier for at least the first 3 months. I had to learn to completely surrender to motherhood. You cannot worry about keeping the house clean, making gourmet dinners, having people over to visit the baby and entertaining them. Get as much sleep as you can. I had to retrain myself to go to bed at 7:30 at night for the first 4 months so I could be up with the baby every three hours to nurse.Then when your done feeding the baby it is going to take you some time to wind back dow, try to fall asleep and when you finally do it will be time to get back up and feed the baby again. Even if you have your hubby feed the baby bottles it is very little relief. The first few months are pretty trying, no wonder it has been referred to as the "4th trimester". The upside is that you will be so in love with your baby that you will come to understand there are levels of love that you never knew even existed, that you will feel it is your greatest accomplishment. Sorry to take some of the romance out of it for you. This was MY experience. But like I said, I am the kind of person who would have rather heard beforehand because I was completely and utterly shell shocked starting from labor all the way through to the 4th month when life gets a little easier. Not that I was naive either, keep in mind I am an educated 37 year old. I am so madly in love with my little boy and he IS my proudest achievement, he is healthy and happy and beautiful, but it didn't come without a tremendous amount of self sacrifice. Hopefully some other Moms that respond to your question will be real with you too. Good luck on your new journey and congratulations.