I found this quote today and I am curious for how many of us Mamas or Paps it describes?
"She’s changeable in direct response to him. He’s changeable only in response to indirect, subtle, and charming efforts by her. If he knows she wants him to change, he won’t. "
A simple "Yes" or "No" is all I am looking for, but feel free to expound if you like.
Thanks!
OMG No! This is not about sex.
It's about everyday goings on, relationship, communication, effort.
Thanks for your responses!
I find that our relationship is very much like the quote. He does things in his own time. I on the other hand am more proactive and always looking for a better way or to improve something. So when he asks me to make a change, I usually oblige...or at least try to, and revert if necessary.
It's good to hear that there are others out there who are better communicators and less dramatic - gives me some hope that with experience, things may get a little easier!
no
Okay, I decided to expound on this. :)
I wish I were more changeable in direct response to him. I need to be more willing to change when needed or asked by my husband. Stubborn streak, I'm afraid.
He is gracious and wonderful. I do approach him with care out of deep respect. He does try to change when I ask. Change is hard though, isn't it?
absolutely not. the best way i have found to get my husband to do something is to ask him, with a good old fashioned "please". respect will get you a lot farther than manipulation imo. we don't play games.
I don't think it applies to myself and my husband. We are pretty direct, most usually in a kind way, but sometimes the "hit you over the head with it" method does prove effective.
There are plenty of ways to be sweet and kind and charming, but to choose to manipulate change in this way seems a bit antiquated. Sure, we catch more flies with honey, but sometimes being sweet and being clear and direct about expectations is really the easiest way. Unless someone's ego is standing in the way, that is. And I divorced *that* situation... didn't marry it again!;)
You've been reading Harlequin novels haven't you?
Err, no
Yes.
Going to add a bit, since I'm the first "yes."
I'm changeable in that his mood easily affects mine. I'm changeable in that if he asks me to change something I do (nothing deep-seated or ingrained, of course). For him, I have to be careful in my approach or he will dig his heels in.
Yes
Like Amanda F. his mood affects me, but also, he is changeable only in response to indirect, subtle, and charming efforts by her, for me its because in example: If he is down and I bake him a cake his mood cheers up and I cheer up too. But who would change if anyone asked us to? I wouldn't... it depends on how I'm asked I guess... and we go back to subtle and charming efforts....
I liked the quote. Thanks!
That doesn't apply to us. We don't want to change each other since we rather like each other as we are.
Ah, my favorite blog! Yes, I agree with this description. :-)
