Just Call Me "Old Yeller"

Definitly pick out the outfit the night before -- or even two outfits and those are his choices. Set a timer, for say 10-15 minutes. He is to be dressed and teeth brushed when he hears that timer go off. Come down and put on shoes before breakfast. If he's not done when timer goes off - Dad needs to step in. Keep a chart of when he is done when the timer goes off and make a mark. At the end of the week he gets 30 more min. of tv, picks out dinner for the night, something he would enjoy without going overboard.

No tv.

Breakfast already picked out - and I use a timer at breakfast too. When the timer goes off - all plates are cleared. This helped so much! It went from 45 min. to eat cereal to 15 min. They even started finishing before the timer and were excited about it.

Have everything already together (packback, lunch, etc).

Dear GOD! did we by chance drink the same water?

My 4 year old daughter had a field trip today to a Art Museum. She was so excited to go yesterday, I was excited to send her. MORNING COMES, it was if an alien mother-ship slowly drifted over our home, put a tractor beam down directly on top her head, and replaced her with a half human, half blood sucking-life melting monster. She woke UP screaming at me. The whole morning was screaming and yelling between me and her. She is freaking 4, and I am 36. This was not productive or acceptable on my part what so ever, but it was done. With husband trying to come to the rescue of both, and all the other children keeping distance by running to the basement play room they kinda knew what was going on.
When I realized what I was doing it was too late, and the claws were still out. Husband got a little venom talk as well. I asked for a moments peace, to which the husband replies "yeah sure after you make me some breakfast"

Not sure if it was the fire exploding from my eyes, the claws gleaming, or the teeth sprouting from my mouth that made him renig on that. I just hope that when I dropped her off this morning, they didn't fear for her life at my return.
All kidding aside. I yell to much as well. I wonder if I am bordering on rage, I never am physical, but the yelling gets to me. I need a better outlet. I am currently looking into meditation, and for somethings it works. Obviously not today.

I agree with the do it the night before suggestion. This saves a million battles.

I also used to keep stuff in a tub in my car. We leave at xx:xx. period. you don't have your stuff together you get the 'car' stuff. it was all gross stuff. like I bought a cheap pair of hot pink tennis shoes that she would have rather stuck a pencil in her eye than be forced to wear. My 'car kit' was the following:

hot pink tennis shoes (with mismatched laces)
heavy sweatshirt that was gray and paint stained (from my college years).
lunch kitsof tuna salad to go kit and a bottle of water
snack kits of saltines and a bottle of water.
Notebook with cartoons on it and pencils with racecars on them

This seemed to increase her ability to get herself organized.

I think keeping the TV off completely until he's out the door on the way to school is the way to go for sure. They turn into drones when the TV's on and nothing gets accomplished -- especially if you're in a rush! I think if you implement that going forward your mornings will be a heck of a lot easier. (We also have a no TV policy in the morning)

First off, tell your husband that if he has a problem with your parenting he should take it up with you in private, not undermine you in front of your child!
I put my son to bed dressed for school. He doesn't own much of anything that wrinkles It eliminates a lot of morning battles.
Given the scenario you described I would have put the shoes on for him, turned off the tv and put my hand on his shoulder to guide him out the door while he was busy arguing with me. It's not a good long term strategy, but it gets the job done in a pinch.

Join me in a cocktail?

I know it gets frustrating when everybody else around you is moving so slow..
First thing, does it matter if he wore a dirty shirt? Really? I think the public shame would be on him..
I would have let that slide..

The TV would have been shut off I would have moved him out of the way, shut it off and said. "SHOES." "NOW". not yelling but in direct eye contact and snappy. and I would have walked to the door and started the car. If the boy did not come out in time, he would have to walk to school. And be late.

When you feel a yell coming on.. Take a deep breath and turn around and go to your room or to another space and just calm down for a moment.

You do not need this stress. Let your son know. "I am losing my patience and am about to lose my temper."

I always give a heads up.. My family usually starts moving in overdrive.

It takes practice. But you know what it is like to grow up in a yelling household and do not want to continue this bad habit. I like to sometimes speak softly enough that people have to come closer to me to hear what I have to say.. I learned this from Jackie Onasis..

You could get his clothes out the night before so once he rolls out of bed, he's ready to just put them on.

Also, find his shoes and put his socks with his shoes with his clothes.

Everything should be right there, so getting dressed won't be a hassle.

Finally, make sure his backpack is packed up the night before with anything he will need the next day. All of this can be part of his bedtime routine.

As for the TV, I do have mine on in the a.m. but it's on news so there's no temptation for my granddaughter to want to watch.

We had these issues in the mornings when the TV was on. Now the TV is no longer allowed on in the mornings at all. Once we did that I have very seldom had an issue unless she was just tired, and there really isn't much I can do other than to push her along. Thank goodness that only happens once in a blue moon.

Your not a bad mom things happen and we all yell. Your making up for it by looking for ways to make things easier. Give yourself a break and a cup of coffee!

How about having him lay out his clothes for the next morning every night and then having you look over it and approve it?

Backpack by the door, lunch if packed also planned out the night before and prep done so all you need to do is throw it in his bag and done.

Getting him up a lil earlier, and No tv like you said until completely ready.

My kids are at attention for dad. If dad is there in the morning maybe he can be the enforcer so you don't have to be.
You could pick an outfit for him and move it and his toothbrush to your bathroom. My kids stand beside me and brush thier teeth. It takes 3 minutes that way as opposed to 20 and lots of me yelling! Thier clothes, shoes, socks, & backpacks are all stacked up on the ottoman. This routine has cut out alot of the yelling and frustration, not all but some. I alsp hurry them by saying if you get done in time, than you will have time to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I dont turn the tv on until thay are ready to go. If they have enough time left. That's a motivator to hurry.

I'm with you on all accounts, childhood included. So I know exactly how you feel! The thing that's hard to realize is that we CAN control these situations it's just very very hard. You have to stay consistent set the boundaries so they KNOW what is expected of them!
You tell him ONE time to get shoes on teeth brushed etc. If he doesn't, consequence. Period. Keep that t.v. OFF when you want him to get ready. I have to do that w/ my middle on pre-school days or forget it. He knows that once he eats, brushes his teeth, gets dressed get shoes on finds his back pack THEN he can watch a show if we have time. It's hard, I find myself yelling too. And my husband giving me the evil eye, while he too sit on his A$$ and watches me.......men!

I know it is so hard to get out the door in the morning! One thing you can do over the winter break is "practice" your morning routine. This way it is at a time that less stressed and everyone is not under the pressure of the clock. We play a game in our family called "Yes Mom". And we play this game when things are low stress and not hectic as a way to practice having them do tasks that need to be done under stressful times. We start fun and I say to the kids something like: "Kids, jump up and down" and they have to respond "Yes Mom" while they jump up and down. I ask them to do silly things and they have to always respond "Yes Mom" before they do the act. Then I get to the more tedious tasks in the game like "Go get your shoes kids" and they yell "Yes Mom" as they run up the stairs to get their shoes. "Get your pants on!" and they yell "Yes Mom" as they get dressed.

Then, on stressful mornings when I ask a task, I will make sure I am getting good eye contact and say "go get your shoes on". If they ignore or seem distracted. I remind them to say "Yes Mom" and it sort of triggers the memory of the game...it does help keep them on track.

And, as others say, try to do as much the night before as you can. Also, I know this is hard with many jobs, but maybe you tell yourself you don't go on the "work clock" until after the bus leaves. If you do see an email, try to remind yourself your job is a mom until the kids are out the door.

Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing the job the best you can. And, kids respond really well when you apologize to them later. "I am sorry I yelled so loud this morning. I know that doesn't sound so good to you. However, in the morning, it is important that you listen to me and get dressed when I ask you. Let's work together."

Deep breath! We ALL have mornings like this...and anyone who says they don't...well, I don't believe em! haha! And I can say, just like you, when I am getting angry and being a drill sergeant, I then feel guilty after they leave. I am sure I beat myself up much more than the kids even think about our morning...because you know as soon as they leave for the bus, we are forgotten! (that's what I tell myself!)

And some tips I TRY to implement...getting clothes ready the night before, waking them up a lil earlier, know ahead of time what they want for breakfast, and lunch if you are making it. Already having bag packed, glasses where they should be, shoes ready, etc. And the tv thing...what is it about boys that the tv is like a magnet for their eyes??? I run a daycare and it seems they are ALL like that, and it doesn't matter WHAT is on! (I usually have the Today show on in the am, unless it's not appropriate stuf, then we switch to Dora, and if it's too much of a distraction, MUSIC!) TV is off the rest of the day, though!

Hang in there...and I totally understand how you feel when you got MORE angry when hubby called you out...you knew he was right! But, I told my mom the same thing as you once...I may yell more than I should, but I don't hit my kids...and now that they are older, I have more patience and can threaten to take away ipods, phone and computer! That works even better!

Could you also maybe implement a chart and for every day he is able to get ready on his own and on time, he gets a check and for every week he has full checks, he gets some sort of reward? This works for some kids and not for others...but worth a shot! good luck...enjoy your Christmas break and start fresh in the New Year! :)

I have four kids and our mornings are down to a science. First, we do as much as possible the night before; make lunches, set out clothes to include shoes, socks and underwear, get the backpacks in the car, have the coats in the hook by the door, etc. In the morning, no one is allowed downstairs until they are completely ready to walk out the door and that include shoes on. Then we have breakfast and start to head to the car 10 minutes before we have to leave.

Hope this helps.

1. No TV on in the morning.
2. Get ready as much as possible the night before - lunch packed, homework packed, etc. Including figuring out what clothes are going to be worn so hopefully there is less arguing.
3. Enlist hubby's help - just say him to directly, "Please make sure Johnny has his shoes on."
4. Simple single-word commands: "Shoes!" "Coat!"
5. Set a timer to help your son get ready - whatever is not done by the time he needs to leave does not happen. If that means he ends up going to school in his pajamas, so be it. Natural consequences. I bet if that happens once, you can be sure he will be ready on time from then on!
6. Take a deep breath and count to 10 before you start yelling.