JFF: Tastes like Punishment

I teach 5th and 6th grade and find that humor goes a LOOOONG way in making things go smoothly.

"Do we need to do this?" "Nope! Only if you want to pass!" (this gets a good chuckle - the kids even say it to each other at times!)

"But I don't want to do that" "That's o.k. You can do it with me next year!" This is said with a GREAT BIG grin :) Also gets a chuckle.

One night after many, many, many nights of colic, I stayed up till 2am trying to get my 2 mth old to sleep. I HAD to get some sleep. I woke up my engineer H to say take the baby. He groggily looked at me and ask, what do I do with him? I replied, Teach him to Dance, I DON'T CARE!

So really, when you don't want to have to think of everything for them...
Teach him to Dance, I don't care!! Lol!

ooh H. - don't you know that "low fat" or "reduced fat" means TASTELESS? I'm sorry that your thing turned into "yucky"

My thing that was not worthy - wasted time? hhhmmm....can't think of anything.

No phrase I can think of either...we quote movies....

But why with a spoon m'lord?
It will hurt more you twit!

Farm Boy - fetch me that pot.
As you wish...

I could go on and on!!

i have a pinterest addiction and my fav all time funny that i've ever found there was a meme or what ever and it said
" Can't,walking my unicorn"
as in no i can't take on your responsibilities that you should have done yourself i have more imporant things to do, such as.. walking and imaginary pet.

it reminds me a bit of the time when my kids were much younger and DH would ask me why they had woken up in the middle of the night ( danged if i know they were too young to talk ) and i got so mad and snarky i told him they must have been worried about filing their taxes. so thats been a bit of catch phrase of mine. When he expects me to know why it's taken them 35 mins in the bathroom, i just shrug and say they must be filing their taxes.

I often do pointess things, at least now you know that recipie sucks. mission accomplished.

I once made zucchini and carrot muffins for my girls. I thought they would love them (they love zucchini, carrots, and muffins...what could go wrong?). They each took one bite and refused....so I ended up having to eat the whole batch (not at once!).

Right after college, I was attempting a chicken casserole. I put in WAY too many peas and it turned an unappetizing green color. My room mate dubbed it "Exorcist Casserole." I have lots of "didn't turn out great" food stories. :)

My husband's young adult cousin once ranted about my husband's wasted life and how he was 'stuck' with a wife, kids, a good job, owned a house...you know, normal things that people typically want to have. Not this cousin though. Despite his own life being an absolute mess of bad choices and terrible situations, he said my husband's life was "a cautionary tale" for how he didn't want to be. So now when something really great happens for us, we warn each other that it is 'just another cautionary tale'.

(Since that time, the cousin experienced a life-threatening event. He died enroute to the hospital but was revived. He's okay now and it did wonders for his attitude. He behaves like a human being, accepts responsibilities, cares about others and even made apologies for being such a jerk. I like to think God reached down personally and gave him a spanking.)

Yep -- when my daughter doesn't like something I've made she'll either say "Tastes like failure" or "I can't like that".

Now the whole family and several friends use that phrase.

One of my favorite scenes from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is when the Sheriff of Nottingham bursts into the witch's dungeon and starts overturning tables, throwing objects, and finally stabs the bloody egg she's scrying into with his dagger. She looks up at him and asks quite calmly and sarcastically, "Something vexes thee?"
So anytime someone is freaking out over something silly, we ask, "Something vexes thee?"

Anytime someone says, "I have a question," we answer "42!"

My brother has a thing for finding junk in the trash that he thinks he can fix. (he usually can't) And my husband and I tease him by saying, "It's almost not broken!!!"

And when my husband does something particularly sweet, sometimes I'll tease, "See, you're not ALL bad". Of course, I get this statement as well when I've done something sweet or thoughtful.

We like to tease in our house.

We use movie or book quotes also.
We also say "As you wish" (Princess Bride)
"42" (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)
I love "Something vexes thee?" going to steal it!

Oh, I want the recipe for your Blueberry zucchini bread! Please...

My son and I use the number "15" to mean a lot. Like: I had 15 problems today at work.

You are so funny!

Also, I love love love all the Robin Hood Quotes everyone threw in. Alan Rickman and Michael Wincott are just rad. Yes, I said rad. 80's child!

I think the phrase we use the most is "Another Pinterest Fail". Even my kids will say it! Yes, we have had a lot of Pinterest fails, most recently when I attempted funnel cakes. Yikes.

FYI, I bought an America's Test Kitchen Healthy Cookbook on my MIL's recommendation. They test the recipes like 40 times every which way to see how to reduce calories without sacrificing any of the yumminess. To be fair, the calories are not THAT low... like a piece of cake might be 380 instead of 480, lol. But it really is a great cookbook, nothing comes out tasting "like punishment".

snork!
i hear ya!
some things are just not meant to be diet food. i did it with cupcakes once. i mean, what a maroon. if cupcakes aren't decadent, they just shouldn't be.
and it's always sad to waste blueberries.
of course, your horses will love them. the mares thoroughly enjoy any meat-free kitchen mistakes. that's why we all keep old horses, right?
our family phrase is 'man oh man.' decades ago big daddy asked for a watch for christmas, and specifically stated what he DIDN'T want. black plastic. so when his idiot children proudly presented him with the ugliest black plastic cassio watch you ever saw, his face fell, and the fake-cheery 'oh. man oh man' he let out was so dreary that even his idiot children got the message. now it's the go-to phrase when any of us are presented with something we just could not be less excited about.
and there's an ugly black plastic watch that gets re-wrapped every christmas and passed around the family. i think my older son is the current Keeper of the Cassio.
:) khairete
S.

I've eaten low fat and no fat foods that tasted good. The first ones that come to mind are baked goods made with applesauce instead of fat. Take a look at the ingredients in this recipe so that you'll know when another recipe won't meet the taste test.

Also, you may be able to modify this recipe to make them tastier. For example you said they weren't sweet enough. Next time use stevia as a sweetner. Stevia is a natural low glycemic sweetener made from the stevia plant. If the recipe doesn't have applesauce look for one that does.

What's up chicken butt? Who's on first?

And, I'm on the computer and because I should be doing one of at least
a dozen other things, I would consider being on it pointless and unworthwhile. LOL unless I get credit for using it as a coping mechanism.

Answers for both questions and a third entirely unsolicited answer! lol I'm feeling a bit compulsive today after a really stressful yesterday.

Use applesauce in the muffins and see if that helps. It gives some nice moistness and sweetness without the calories or fat.

"Heart attack city" is a phrase I thought of last night when I ate a dish a friend brought over. She called it Adobo Beef. It was swimming in fat. I pulled out the chunks and put them on rice, but had to bite the slabs of fat off the meat. I left the pan she brought on the stove overnight with all the liquid in it, and when I got up in the morning, it had solidified into what looked like lard. Now I'm trying to decide if I just quietly throw the leftover meat away...

Nah, we just make faces a lot and sometimes a random comment.

I heard "Do we need to do this?" "Nope! Only if you want to pass!" when I was in school half a century ago. This must be taught to aspiring teachers some time in college.

"Get your go pants on". Meaning we are going someplace. If you want to go, get ready.

"Snug as a bug in a rug" said while tucking the blankets around kids as they are tucked in bed.

Good luck to you and yours.

Love your phrase! I will have to remember that. My husband and I ate in a little café in Hawaii. He ordered a glass of lemongrass tea which he didn't care for. I started drinking it and thought it was fine. Then he burst out that he thought the tea taste like lemon Pledge. Terrific because that is precisely what it tasted like. :( Now we say 'tastes like Pledge' for anything which is gross.

You should make the recipe I use, it has a whole container of sour cream in them. They are heaven!