Issues with the Grandparents

my MIL used to have an anything goes approach, but they're the only family we have here, and she's super sensitive. She either got angry and would cancel that week on me, or would undermine me to my son, by saying "oh mommy and her silly little rules". I was ready to forgo any free time and cash i would ever have over it, till my mom and I talked about it. My mom told me to leave it alone...her house her rules, dont worry she'll get sick of it soon. And my mom was right, this is my kids' grandparents no matter what. Grandmas house was always more fun, bcause of the lack of rules, and kids need to be able to adapt to different places different rules. As a child I'd sleepat grandmas on weekend and get LOADED up with sugar,so by the time my parents picked me up I was a maniac. Cocoa and chocolate cake for breakfast, after staying up all night to watch dynasty reruns. I was three...not ok. As soon as I stopped harping on her she changed her tune. I continued to reinforce the house rules at home, and while it was difficult at first, my son got the message about grandmas house vs mommy's. My MIL also got the message when her anything goes house backfired and he now slaps her across the face every time he sees her(she thought it was funny once), and has broken many antique items she refused to put away. Not ok in my house mind you, but made possible and even a joke in hers...untill now. She now asks how I handle situations "so we can be consistant".

if YOU really want him to continue to go to the grannys then yeh try a diffrent approach, like, act like youre in need of their help, you know like saying "i'm having this problem with him and it causes a problem when he interacts with others, i just don't know what to do, what do you suggest?" At that time they may just change what THEIR doing because they THINK they're showing you something. LOL. If that dosen't work then you may want to look into other alternatives for weekend overnight daycares. try exspanding your social network, put it out there that your looking for weekend overnight sitters, they do have them here in chicago. kids do learn thats whats ok for one household isn't ok for another. continue to teach him at home.

He is probably getting defensive for his parents (I go through that all the time). Maybe explain you have no problem with your son staying with his parents, but for your son's best interest, your parents need to change some of their actions. Maybe wording it differently might help. If that doesn't work do you feel comfortable talkign to the grandparents directly?

I wish you all the best in this tough situation!

Put in writing what your desires for your child are and why. Give this to the Grandparents, and husband, and ask them to love their grandson/child in the same consistent way you are - for his good! You are a TEAM! (like it or not) Ask them to be the best "players" they can be for the health of the family. Share as much w/ them as possible so they really understand the significance of their role. Thank them consistently for their help, praising them for all they do RIGHT! This will go a long way. Trying to make peace and balance a priority now will be an integral piece of the pie all his life, and yours.

Use flattery to your advantage. Instead of telling your ex or inlaws what you want them to do differently, ask their advice. Talk to your inlaws directly and tell them your concerns about the behavior. Ask them what techniques they would use to curb the behavior. Maybe their good parenting skills will rise to the top when they think they're being looked at as the experienced ones.

As long as they love him, and love being with him, it will all work out. We hear so many sad stories of grandparents that want nothing to do with babysitting, so I guess you are one of the "lucky" ones. My inlaws make me crazy, but they love my kids and I just try to keep quiet when it's not a big deal.