Is This Odd? - Cuba,MO

Not wierd at all! I'm still very good friends with an ex. He's married now, but we go out as couples frequently when we're home. If you know them both well and think it's a good match, go for it!

Not weird at all - I think it's great that you were able to remain such good friends. My daughter and one of her ex-boyfriends are like that.

I could never be married to someone who expected me not to have friends of the opposite sex. I was friends with those people long before he and I met. What am I supposed to do - just cut all the ones with dangly bits out of my life because they have Y chromosomes? Not happening.

Totally agree with Jo. Only weird if you were trying to get together with him, or upset that he is trying to date. I know plenty of couples that did not work out but they stayed good friends. One guy I know has a relationship like brother and sis with an ex girlfriend of his.

Not weird at all. Weird would be if you were fixing him up with yourself. Then I think your husband would take offense. :p

Nope not weird at all--as long as your hubby knows and is ok with it, its your buisness. Good luck!

M

I don't think this is weird at all. Especially if your husband is fine with it.
My husband did not appreciate me having male friends at first. He was very insecure about it. Even when one of them invited us to his wedding.
Anyway, I personally feel that it's very possible for a male and a female to deeply care about one another in a way that isn't romantic. Just because someone isn't "the love of your life" doesn't have to mean that you don't feel love for them and wish them every happiness. Not all relationships that don't "work out" end with both parties being lifelong enemies.

I don't see anything at all wrong with you helping your friend find happiness.

Just my opinion.

No it is not weird.

You obviously have a secure relationship with your husband and that is how you both handle this respectfully and openly. You are not hiding anything.

I think it is weird when someone marries and then they are expected to never look, speak, or acknowledge that someone of the opposite sex is around. Just because you are married does not mean you live the rest of your life with your head stuck in the mud.

I think you are very normal. I have friends of the opposite sex and my hubby knows all about it. He has female friends as well. We are secure enough with ourselves and our relationship.

No, not weird at all....

I talk to my ex-fiance all the time...his wife knows and my husband knows. Nothing to hide.

So you just keep on going!! You aren't doing anything wrong!! The minute you hide it from your husband - then it's wrong!

I think it is odd that you hang out so much and are so involved in his life and even more odd your husband is okay with it. Sounds like you are treading on dangerous waters to me. So if you have a problem with your husband, do you go to your ex and discuss it then since he's your good friend? Seems fishy and unecessary to have him as a friend.

Well i find it strange but what matters is that your husband and you DO NOT. It doesn't matter what id do, or what other people do it only matters what works for you.

I find this rare, but not odd. It is kind of refreshing...the modern Jerry and Elaine :-)

No. It's not weird.

If your husband doesn't have a problem with it, then what's the problem?

Don't listen to any of these busybodies. They're trying to cause trouble.

Like Cheryl O. said, once you start hiding stuff from your husband, then there's a problem!

Doesn't strike me as "odd" but rather potentially dangerous.

Nope. I did/do it. My husband and I both are very close with my ex husband's family.

I think it's great when people are still nice to one another.

My best friend is an ex-bf. I had to kick his selfish butt the other week because of the mean, hurtful things he said to his fiance in regards to their relationship. They join me, my SO and our LOs for dinner regularly. My ex will sometimes join me and my LO on our morning excursions to the park as my SO likes some "me" time in the morning.

There is a faction of people who think you must hate your exes must never cross that sacred line of being a friend and have nothing to do with them - then there are people like myself and my SO who realize that our exes started out as friends, are good people, just not great partners for us but still they are good friends to us.

BTW - his friend also visits us and they talk almost as regularly as my friend and I do.

yes. makes me think unfinished business. is he waiting for you to become available again?

Not odd. Here's a story of a family named heintz..... My mom had 3 children when she was divorced the first time. I am the oldest and was not quite 3. She met a man and they got married. This man who was my step dad was more a father than anyone I could imagine. A few years later they had a child. they divorced shortly after that. Now although she stayed in contact with her first husband (father to the oldest 3). the second husband was the man we all called dad. He gave me away at my wedding. He got married again. To the woman I have called my stepmother my entire life. while my biological father was in the background he was not the dad. (specifying that for a reason lol) after she divorced the second time we all stayed in touch. he would take his son and one of us older kids each weekend. on the holidays they shared us. my mom cooked thanksgiving dinner and the stepdad and his wife would come sometimes even bringing along her parents. at christmas we including my mom and her current boyfriend/husband) would go to dad and stepmoms house. It stayed that way til the year he died. that was more than 16 years ago. The stepmom is still very much a part of my life. if you share kids you have to get along. My daughter has been married twice. she has children with both husbands. both husbands and whoever their current spouse is come to our house for thanksgiving. everyone gets along. Just the way I was raised and now the way they are raising their children. So yes you can get along with ex's

I personally think it is a bit strange. I can understand staying friends and such, but to hang out with him as much as you are saying, I think that is treading in deep waters. What happens if you get mad at your hubby for something sometime? Will you go running to your ex for advice? In my opinion it is too much.

Yeah, it's weird. To protect the integrity of a marriage, you should not keep company with other men, and he should not keep company with other women. Would you feel the same way if he had a best gal friend? These situations can turn south too quickly. I have a guy friend that I've known longer than my husband. I still care about him very much but I never call him myself, if I have something to tell him I ask my husband to call him. He never comes over if my husband isn't home.

IMO, it's just not a good idea.

l

Some people are totally okay with this scenario, and I guess as long as your husband is truly okay with it then there shouldn't be any problems-- to each their own, I guess.

Personally, my husband had his ex girl track him down some 3 yrs later out of no where (guess she was now getting engaged). She wanted to meet the family and visit her down town at their farmers market and all of a sudden become best buddies. I told my husband I thought it was odd, and was slightly uncomfortable with it, had no desire to be friends with her, but I wasn't going to tell him he couldn't be. He said he really didn't have the time for her and basically told her to shove off. She was indicating we all are grown ups here, and they were together many moons ago--she didn't see any problems with being friends.

My point with this story is, just make sure your husband is okay with it, and if anything comes up respect his wishes and then there really is nothing to worry about.

yes that is weird.

Yes this is a bit odd. I am not sure I would like my husband keeping in contact with an ex like that. Think of it this way, how is the 'new' woman in his life going to react to your relationship?

I would say unusual, because this would not work for most people. But as long as it never threatens your marriage, I think it is ok.
So just ask yourself, if it ever interferes in your marriage, what would you do?

How can I call it weird? My best friend in college remained great friends with her high school sweetheart. She set us up once. Then a few years went by and she set us up again. We will have been married for 15 years this December. We still get together with her as often as we are able (which is to say once a year or so... she lives over an hour away). She'll always be part of our lives, and I am glad of that. :)

Not at all! My first boyfriend from HS is in the process of getting a divorce and calls or texts me from time to time with questions that only a girl friend (meaning friend who is female, not romantic) can answer. I helped him and his estranged wife find a mediator, suggested a Mary Kay session when his adolescent daughter was having skin trouble and feeling bad about it, listen to his dating adventures, give him advice on updating his wardrobe, and when he's really ready to date again (not just the rebound, ego-boosting dating that he's doing now) I'll keep him in mind if I find a great single woman who would be a good match for him.

As long as there is no hidden agenda, no unspoken feelings or weirdness like that and your husband is OK with it, then I see nothing wrong with it. You may want to keep in mind though that future girlfriends may be less understanding and that he may have to minimize his relationship with you to more fully develop a deep, "best friends who are in love" relationship with someone else.

I do think it's a bit odd. I mean, even if you are still friends after being married, you shouldn't still be talking with him THAT much. I'm sure he has to still want you back. Guys don't usually stick around that long unless they want something more. I'm suprised that your husband is ok with that.

Not at all. Some people are just afraid of their partners ex's and they put that on to all relationships. It is good you are helping your friend find the love he deserves!

One of our best friends is an ex of mine. I don't think what you are doing is weird.

No, not weird at all. I have a very good friend who is an ex boyfriend and we have always stayed friends. He's married to a wonderful woman and has a son. We had a 4th of July BBQ with them this year.

I think it's hard for most people to maintain a friendship with someone they've been in a love relationship with... sometimes it just doesn't work. But when you end on a good note and neither of you have feelings beyond friendship it can work.

I think it's just fine so long everyone understands WHERE everyone stands in the relationship. Plus, who better to help you move forward in a romantic relationship than someone who's had to put up with your bum and your antics?

I am still really good friends with my ex too. DH knows we hang out and keep in contact. Nothing there besides friendship. Sometimes we, as people, really are better off as friends.