Is This Funny? Perhaps I Am Missing Something?

It's only funny if either a) you've never experienced the Terrible Twos and think people are exaggerating or b) you've experienced the Terrible Twos so utterly and completely, that you feel you've earned the right to say. "Ha. Welcome to the club. Let's go get a drink."

Hang in there.

The haha was probably meant to commiserate with you or to indicate that no you didn't get to miss out on those terrible two's that they also got to suffer from. Who knows, maybe they are liking it because he is finally verbal. I think it is hard sometimes on facebook to understand context and maybe you are reading too much into their reactions. After all, many of them probably do not have any experience with how difficult dealing with an autistic 5 yo really is.

Lord.
Sometimes the "like" button is just an acknowledgement that they hear ya, or that they agree, or that they sympathize. It doesn't mean they are "enjoying" it. If someone typed "haha" I'm sure it means they were remembering stuff they have gone through and how that felt, and when the phase is past you can relax a little.
That's how I would take it. No they aren't enjoying the fact that you're going through this phase, and no they are not laughing at your son. My advice would be don't post on FB if you aren't going to allow people to give a "quicky" answer, the equivalent of a pat on the back. Most people don't know what to say, or not on a public forum like FB, so that's all they'll type. I don't think you should be irritated at all.
HOWEVER, I do understand that it's frustrating, upsetting, and sometimes scary to go through this right now.

I wouldn't read too much into people's reactions on Facebook. "Like"ing something doesn't mean you actually LIKE it, it means you AGREE, or really even just want to ACKNOWLEDGE it.

They may also have been laughing (well not really laughing, just typing haha) because the WAY he posted the update was written in a light way... I mean, really what's funny about falling down the stairs, or dropping all your groceries, but plenty of comedies make people laugh about that. And seriously... your 5 year old finally speaks... YAY! and then he starts shouting "no" at you. That sucks... in a kind of funny from the outside way.

It's FACEBOOK. Unless you're asking for prayers or something, folks are going to assume a light tone.

HTH
T.

You can't control people's reactions. It doesn't seem funny to you when you have had so many struggles with your son, but if you post something on facebook, you don't get to decide how people respond. There are many, many things that seem very funny when they happen to someone else. Maybe these people are remembering their own child's "terrible two's" but forgetting or not acknowledging that your child is not two, he is an autistic five year old. Either way, my suggestion is if you are going to take offense to comments that people make on facebook, don't hang out there.

Maybe "funny" isn't the word....more like "ironic"?

You've probably been praying for some verbal communication for years...now you're getting it--and wish it would stop. Ironic, right?

Good luck!

I am sure the haha part was sharing in your troubled times and empathizing with you. I can see why people would "like" it, but it wasn't for the funny factor. More to tell you hang in there, and that they have been there too-they understand.

I think we can all sympathize maybe not to the degree of dealing with an autistic 5 yo but the concept of children learning to be independant and have views of their own. so it isn't Gut Busting funny but over the internet, I use ha ha to convey all sorts of sarcasm, empathy-- been there done that, oh gosh so glad my kid isn't in that stage at the moment. etc
I really think that that is all they mean, sweetie, I"m sure you are worn out and just plain tired of this, but I really don't think people are being snarky or mean about this.
If it upsets you then ask dh not to reach out through FB where things can be easily misinterpreted.

I always tried to remember the phase--This too shall pass. and then they will be on to something new. I don't know the extent of you son's disablitlies but i hope he moves through this.

im going to guess that on facebook your husband didnt say how difficult and stressfull this was for you two.. usually on facebook you put the minimum not all the details.. at least i do .. im going to assume that he said something like my 5 yr old is in his terrible 2s or something to that effect.. im sure that if he would have described in detail what was actually going on he wouldnt have gotten the likes and laughs that he got as responces.. to most people that dont have kids a child saying no to everything is at least remotley funny.. im sure to people who have been there would find it a little funny because its like yeah ive been there thank god were done with that.. i wouldnt take it too seriously or let it bother you too much its only facebook

I'm sorry, this situation sounds like it really hurt you. There is nothing we are more sensitive about than our children, rightfully so. When I first read this post, I thought, the person you should make the comment to is your husband and not to post anything about your children at all as this is situation that is upsetting to you. However, regardless, I think you reacted in a momma bear sort of way, which we all do at times. In no way were the people trying to be disrespectful of you or your son, yet very often people feel the need to respond to "kid" posts out of support and kindness. Also, saying yes and no and in the appropriate situation sounds like an incredible mile stone for your son. Is it possible that your husband is just so proud that he is able to accomplish this and wanted to post? Im sure the situation is very trying with the tantrums, yet as hard as it is, it is impossible to expect those not in your situation to understand. I really think they were trying to be supportive. i was just having this conversation today with someone about the like button. A fb friend posted that she was in a car accident and a few people "liked" it. They obviously didn't like that she was in a accident but were showing support in that they read the post and that they are reciprocating. Best of luck with all of this, but try not to get frustrated with this.

simple.. if you don't want people to misread context then you should either be very clear or not post it on a social networking site, the people who commented were not trying to be assholes they probably assumed he was joking/complaining as I do all the time.. I think it was rude to make the comment you did when it should be pretty obvious they weren't trying to be rude at all. If anything you should have talked to your husband about not making light of the situation on facebook. Or anywhere for that matter if that's how sensitive you are.

Sometimes when I post something about my family, it's not funny per se, but other people "get it" and have been there and we can laugh a little about the potty training laundry or snit the kid had or the rolling eyes of the teenagers. It's not "funny" like Robin Williams, but it can be good to commiserate. If you feel hurt by what your husband posted, he can delete it and/or you can talk to him about how he conveyed this to others. Maybe he didn't realize how he came off in writing.

remember there is no dislike button there. They do NOT know what your going through unless every single friend of yours have non-verbal autistic children. If this is your husband your saying, he likely has mostly guy friends or married guy friends. Those that tend to say little or nothing in person. If they are not personally surrounded by it daily, they miss the meaning and the connotations that go with it.
Most likely they are not LIKING the situation, they are feeling for you. Telling you they read it and feel the pain, or are with you on it. People laughing about it are probably merely at a loss for words and probably just replying cause they dont know what to say that might not offend you. If they know of your sons condition. I would be more peeved if someone wrote a page long paragraph how they DID NOT or did find it funny, and I would have found it all condescending. I guess it depends exactly how he put it.

I think the comparing it to the terrible 2's was taken as your husband kind of joking about the situation. To be honest, the way you said "I thought we got to skip it but guess I was wrong" struck me as kind of funny... It's very hard to tell in writing when someone's being sarcastic and looking for a laugh vs really distressed. If people aren't close to your situation, they likely realize this phase isn't fun but not how horribly hard it is. I really think it's likely how your husband put things. Or people might have assumed he was putting it there to try to be funny bc otherwise it seems a bit odd to post unless it's clear that he is looking for support via facebook. Did he include that you have to restrain your son from harming himself or you? That puts a totally nonfunny spin on things but not sure he included that. So try not to be too upset with people. I doubt they meant any harm or want to belittle your situation at all.

what do you think would have been the appropriate response?

Perhaps your husband posted what he did with the intent of it to be amusing...and if that was his intent, then that is how people will interpret it. Of course it is not funny to you, and I wouldn't expect you to think it is funny, but maybe your husband finds it funny in some way, and that is how he presented it. Maybe you can have a talk with him.

It is funny to outsiders - and I think it's that uncomfortable funny where people do not know what to say about something.

Are you saying that since he was 2 he has had huge temper tantrums and yells "no" ? I was having a little bit of a hard time understanding your explanation...

But, even if I am off a bit in your description, I don't see how a child that is throwing a bunch of temper tantrums is funny. It isn't something pleasant at all, and very stressful on the parent.

But ALSO, as a parent, I wouldn't be advertising on facebook about it either. I share a rare funny story here and there about my four kids. SOMETIMES it involves some sort of bad behavior... BUT, meant to be funny. I think with a setting like facebook a lot of statuses written are meant to be light. Perhaps everyone mistook the tone of the statement your husband wrote. Maybe they THOUGHT he posted it to be funny.

...or maybe people "like" it to lighten the mood, humor DOES help deal with stressful things.