Is This a Preschooler Thing or an Obsessive/compulsive Thing?

Lots of moms have responded but i wanted to chime in and tell you my daughter (will be 3 in August) does amy of the same things. I think it's normal.

Sounds like a sensory thing to me. The sleeping issue sounds typical. See an Occupational therapist if the shoe and sock issue interfere with her day to day functioning.

M.

if you are truly concerned about this behavior feel free to bring it up with your pediatrician; they can help you understand the lines between ocd and preschool experimentation. having said that - my son is coming up on 4 and he's been doing this for over a year! it started with hair where he would inspect his pillows at night and refuse to lay down if even one piece of hair was present. it didn't take long before it stemmed out to clothing, toy organization, and beyond. at first it was cute but that i began to wonder the same things you are now and talked to my ped. she reassured me that at this age there was nothing to worry about and just keep an eye on the behavior. i started to slowly encourage him to let some things go without being disrespectful of his need for things to be a certain way. he is still rather particular in certain areas but isn't having major meltdowns over anything that i would consider to be insubstantial now and even occasionally tells me "its going to be ok mommy" when i'm experiencing my own desire to have certain things this way or that!

I too believe it is a stage. My daughter will be 3 in November and for a few months now is noticing every teeny insect or particle on her body or in our house. For awhile she had trouble getting into the tub if there was a speck of anything floating. We taught her to 'shoo' it away, giving her a way to deal with it. I think it helps her have some control and is now moving beyond it.

YES, my son who is now 17 yrs old started this behavior at the age of 3 also. Unless it harmed him or me I tried my best to understand his need to be in control of these items. He even would insist on sleeping with his clean pants on for the next day instead of pajamas. I will unfortunately admit since it has been so long I can not remember exactly how we treated this behavior but I certainly did not make a big deal out of it or try to change it. I do remember trying to purchase the same type of socks to increase the chance of them fitting correctly, or allowing him to "fix" the problem. Both my children still sleep with night lights and I do not recall leaving lights on or doors open affecting them negatively. I am not sure if I have helped at all but I wish you luck.

.

You already have lots of good advice, just wanted to let you know we are also experiencing this with our son. He is almost 3.5 yo. He has never needed a night light, but now asks for the door to be left open with the hall light on. He can also obsess about things, and has meltdowns, sometimes major, over small things. I notice it is worse if he is overtired. He has also been a little clingy at morning daycare drop, not normal for him. It started about 3 months or so ago. He never went through the "terrible twos" stage, is a pretty happy kid in general. I am quite sure with my son it is a stage (and have been told terrible 2's is a misnomer, and it is actually terrible 3s... seems true for us). I would suggest giving it a little time, and definitely talking to your pediatrician though, if you are still worried about it.
Good luck!
Kim

To me it sounds normal for her age, but if you have a history of OCD or GAD (general anxiety disorder) in your family, I'd mention it to your pediatrician.

Both my husband and I have anxiety-related disorders. I'm obsessive, he's more compulsive. We're both completely functional, just get bogged down by things that wouldn't ever bother other people. Our pediatrician keeps an eye on things related to our kids to intervene as soon as possible.

Our son exhibits more of the classic symptoms. He's particular (like me) and likes things a certain way. Our daughter, though, is more like yours and is very frustrated and vocal when things aren't exactly as she wants them.

Of the two, I believe our 4 year-old son is more likely to develop an anxiety disorder. This link may help you with identifying the cause:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/cond...

Oh boy, I've seen it so much with preschool kids. From working in childcare I've just realized that its how they're comfy, its the independence of doing something and doing it their way. It sounds normal.

My daughter was like this when she was 3. She's 6 now and definitely not obsessive-compulsive. I think this is a pretty typical stage for children to go through. A really great website for checking in on children's developmental milestones and common issues by age is www.ivillage.com. They have some really great articles about what to expect at the toddler stage and other parenting advise.

omg- sounds just like my son. He'll be 4 in Sept., but I remember that he got obsessive about things right when he turned 3. And that's when he started using a nightlight too. Never needed one before. It seems that LOTS of kids in his preschool in his age group have similar behaviors. He's gotten a bit more reasonable as he approached 4yrs. It's tough to be patient, but that's probably all you can do until she develops more maturity and self-control.

For adults, it is only considered OCD if it interferes with daily life. Like if you get to work late because you needed to align all your shoes, etc. But for a child, they do not have a schedule to follow. So maybe if it interferes with your life and schedule, then it would be time to check with a doctor. We got a book for my daughter (age 9) on Amazon.com called "what to do when your brain gets stuck" which explains and has exercises to help with OCD. You could possibly read it to your little one. Our daughter was always dawdling, making us late unless I planned an extra half hour for her to get ready, and she saves lots of little things. Our pediatrician seems unconcerned about it, says as long as she is doing fine in school and with friends (and she is) then wanting to save every bead and toy-tag is harmless. We prepare clothes and backpack and lunch the night before school now, and give her advance notice if we need to go somewhere. Good luck.

you may want to check out this book called the "Highly Sensitive Child". I have a found who found it helpful.

I think it's a typical phase. My son used to have to have certain things "just so" at times. I think they're just figuring out that they can control the world around them to some small extent!

Sounds normal to me, but as was suggested, keep an eye on it and if it seems to worsen over the next year or two, you can always have her evaluated to put your mind at ease.

normal, but watch how much sleep she has and what she is eating. If you can make sure her body is rested and fueled i bet she will have less meltdowns. And make sure that you are not encouraging that behavior by giving her excess attention during the meltdown.

She is stretching her mentality........yes, it is normal. Just don't give in to everything if you feel it will be a bad thing later.......but she is just finding out who she is sort of......

She'll be fine Mommy, just hug her and love her as always......

Hang in there......and good luck.

oh, it's probably just a phase. kids like to have routines, and it's good for them to figure out how to get control over the (very few) things in their lives they can control. at this point i wouldn't worry.
khairete
S.