Is It Ok to Have a Shower for Your Second Baby?

I dont think it is wrong at all. Every baby is different and all deserve equal treatment.

I didnt get a baby shower at all because my friends deserted me and my family is spread out.

Hello,
I don't think it's inappropriate to have a baby shower for you second child. It's a chance for people to get together and celebrate the wonderful life that you are carrying. It's also a chance for others who care to help out a little. My side of the family threw my first baby shower in Cali and my husbands side weren't able to attend (they live here in Washington). With my second my husbands family threw the baby shower. It was special both times and both families enjoyed doing it.
I think if the family member is feeling they don't want to attend a second than they don't have to.
C.

Hey C.! That is not true at all! If you want a baby shower then you have a baby shower! I planned and organized my second one for myself because no one offerd to do one for me. I don't think it's fair for only the first child to have a celebration in anticipation of their birth. There are many ways to can do the shower though. You can do the traditional one or you could ask guests to bring a dish that can be frozen and then heated later to make things easier in the first weeks that you are home with the baby. Those are just two ways of doing one. There is actually a lot of information on the internet to help you make the best decision for you! Good luck!

I have never heard such a thing! My sister has 7 kids and we gave her a shower for every single one. I received a shower for each of my three boys. I think every single baby deserves to have a shower, even if not for the gifts, but for the pictures and rememberences for later in life! Every baby is a celebration and to have a gathering of friends and families to welcome the little one (or if the shower is before delivery, then help prepare for the arrival) is special and important!

Me: 35 yo SAHM with a 7 1/2, 3 1/2 and 22 month old boys.

I've had a baby shower with all FOUR of my children! I thought that too at first, that it wasn't necessary or whatever to have one...but it is only NORMAL to WANT to CELEBRATE the BIRTH of all your children! Have the shower- and enjoy yourself!!!

You know..I think that anyone that says it's not "appropriate" to have a shower after the first baby..it's all bunk!! You are celebrating the life of your new baby. And by all means celebrate it with the ones you love. Giving a gift is an expression for people to do. Its not required at any shower whether the first or fourth. If this family member is set against you having a shower...then have a "party" a celebration party. Go for it girl...you deserve it. You carried that baby just as long as you did the first one. So, why not.

My mom was the same way- but I still wanted the party, so with my youngest we just had a "welcome baby" party a couple weeks after she was born. Didn't do the games or anything- though I wish we could have.

Anyway, everyone is right that that is a very old tradition. It's about as outdated as "a woman's place is in the kitchen". Every baby should be celebrated!

I concur with the rest! If someone wants to throw you a baby shower, hooray for them and hooray for you. I don't think that having another shower is a bad thing, but I do think that someone else should be the one throwing it...not the person having the baby. Congrads!

Not having a baby shower with 2nd children was an old tradition. My mother-in-law still swears that it's not appropriate, but I've never heard anyone in my generation say that. Every baby is a celebration. I say go for it!

I have never heard of this. However, if you're worried about looking bad, change it up a little... call it a "Celebration" rather than a baby shower. Celebrate the life of your body and it coming into this world. If you don't need the gifts, you could even request no gifts... just get together, play games, talk, and celebrate your babie's life. Although, I think you will find that even this way, a lot of people coming to celebrate with you will bring gifts because who doesn't like to give "new baby gifts"!!!

C.-

It is absolutely okay to have a shower for your second baby. Your new baby will still need things, right? And the new baby is just as precious and special as the first.

I had a shower for my second, but not my third. But not that I didn't want one, our life was just so full with other things we simply couldn't find the time. But she's been "showered" with gifts many times over by family and friends since she was born. A friend of the family even offered to host a party for her after she was born, but it never happened.

If your family is truly reluctant to have a baby shower before your little bundle arrives, try asking about a "welcome baby" party after baby comes. I'm sure that everyone will still want to meet the new addition and bring gifts (everyone that I know loves shopping for baby stuff!) And don't be shy when Aunt Edna asks, "what does the little one need?" If you really need a new Boppy, say so! A new crib mattress? Speak up! People would rather give things that are going to be helpful and used by baby than things that are "cute" but gathering dust in a closet.

Oops... Hope my advice didn't run too long! Well, pick the advice that sounds like it will work for you and good luck!

-B.-

My feeling is if you had a baby shower with the first one and you are having another one baby reletivly close to the first one then I would have to agree and say it is a little inappropriate. But you are the mother and in the end it is your call.

I believe that the baby shower is the celebration for the new baby arriving. Kinda like a pre-birthday party and you should treat all of your kids equally. you wouldn't skip your second childs birthday party just because he/she is the 2nd child, would you? Sure, you might have alot of stuff from the 1st child's baby shower that you can use but your new baby deserves to get some new stuff too. Plus it's a time for you to have some fun while your pregnant. A day for you and your new baby!

Well, I do agree that you can do whatever you want and whatever is the "norm" within your group of friends. I have a tight group of about 8 girlfriends, and none of us had showers beyond the first pregnancy. We're just not into it and had a tendency to feel that it seemed greedy and materialistic to have a shower when you already had everything you needed. Plus, none of us can stand shower games. : ) Don't get mad ladies, of course every baby is as special as the first, but there are other ways honor babies besides gifts. I think a great tradition would be to treat the mom to a spa day or something, about 2-3 months after the baby is born and she's wondering if she'll ever have a moment to herself again!

J.

My in-laws are the same way! They don't think it's "appropriate" to have a baby shower after the first child. I'm due with my second in six weeks, and am delivering without a shower... (my family lives out of state) But oh well.

I certainly think it's odd not to have a shower for each child, they're all miracles! Of course we don't need another swing, bassinet etc. but the gifts, to me, aren't the point anyway, it's celebrating a new life.

I think if someone throws you one....awesome! If not, I wouldn't pout about it, hold your head up, and give someone else a shower on their second child! Nothing like leading by example! :)

Hi C.,

I am a mom of 4 and I believe every child is worthy of a baby shower. You should go ahead and have a shower and maybe ask for specific items geared towards the second child. Like a special blanket, hat or coat with babies name or initial. Maybe some new cloth diapers, etc. With my third I asked everyone to write a wish for my baby and that went over very well. Good luck!

T.

Yes, it's okay. Some may say it's not, but I've been to showers for 2nd babies and even 6th babies. Remember you are celebrating the miracle of life. AND getting together with your family and friends for some fun before that exhausting bundle of joy arrives! :) Some people just think you shouldn't request gifts or register for gifts after the 1st baby. So maybe you could just have a little get-together with some games and not say anything about bringing gifts. If they want to bring one they will. If they ask if you need anything then tell them what you need. Congrats on your second baby!

I seriously don't see anything wrong with it. I have 3 kids and i have had a baby shower for all 3 of them. It is not like you are having it just to get the gifts for yourself...it is a new life cominbg into the world. And besides what if you have the opposite sex from what you have now...you are going to need different things...especially clothes.
S. M.

Well, it appears that I am definitely in the minority with this, but I feel that it is wrong to expect people to throw a party every time you have a baby. If your friends want to give you and the baby gifts, that is one thing. I believe the whole idea behind having a shower is to help the new mother get started on her new adventure. If your circumstances change between pregnancies...... new friends, you moved to a new area, etc, that is an exception. To me it sounds like the expectant mother is depending on/expecting other people to outfit her new baby. I had 3 children and had showers with both the first and the last, only because my life and friends had changed with the last pregnancy. I never expected to have anything after the first baby, nor was I disappointed when I recieved nothing. It should be up to individuals as to whether or not they want to give you gifts for the baby.

oh darlin, of course it is ok to have a baby shower. I had one with mine. Its a new life and a totally new experience from your first child. I even had my 6 yr old daughter there with me and she joined in the games and fun. I made sure to get her a big sister present so that she didnt feel left out and like the baby was getting everything. Both my moms got her big sister presents as well. As long as the other child knows and feels like they are involved then all is well. Just dont leave them out. your first child needs to know that they are a part of this babys life and that you want them to be. But go for it. Baby showers are wonderful..... For every baby that you decide to have.

I see no problem with it especially if someone is offering to give it to you. I am currently having a boy this time, my first was a girl, and my mom and my sister have decided to throw me another shower. I think if you are having a baby of the same sex then maybe not have a baby shower but a party that celebrates you. I went to a party for a friend of mine who was having her second girl and we just had a party to pamper her. In gereral though, I don't see a problem with having another baby shower. Every baby should be celebrated.

I say what a load of bull!! Every baby is different and their life deserves to be celebrated!! Everyone looks at baby showers like "oh it's a way to get gifts" but it isn't. Who cares if it's your 2nd, 3rd or 8th baby? It's a new life and that's what matters!

Have fun and by the way, Congradulations!!

Ohhhh how stupid were they to say that.... My mom didn't have a shower for me or my younger sister. Well when my little brother came along she has 3 for him and he's 11 yrs younger then me. Every baby is different and the world is ever changing with new and better things for our little ones. Baby showers help out so much!!!!! And they are always so much fun. So go ahead and have one and pooh on whoever said that. Congrates on the new little one!!!!!!!

Ok I know that you have recieved a lot of responses but I have to say a few years ago i went to a shower for a friend that was having her 6th child so go a head and have your party despite what the family member says.

I personally do not think it is a bad thing to have another baby shower. My sister is having a baby in April and she is having a small one w/her friends. I don't think they are doing gifts really, just more of a get together. But she has everything since my neice is 14 months old. If you would like to have a second baby shower, I think you should go for it and maybe say small gifts only or tell people what you need if you need anything. Good luck w/the pregnancy.

Lauren

There is nothing wrong with having a baby shower no matter how many babies you have. A baby shower is meant to celebrate the new baby and buy gifts for that baby and also to spoil the mom. Don't listen to those who think it's wrong to have another baby shower. Having a baby is a big deal and you and your baby deserve to be pampered. Enjoy and congratulations on your second child.

What???

That's ridiculous. Sounds like whomever told you that is just too cheap to bring a gift to another shower, perhaps? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

I think a baby shower is a way of celebrating a new life with your friends and family... like a pre-birthday party!

Back in the day it was completely rude and unaccepted to have a baby shower other than for your first child. It was considered greedy and un-classy or "ghetto" for a lack of better words. However it has been so widely accepted for such a long time now, that most people would never even know it was down-talked. I was explained this by my parents & grandparents who make comments when they are invited to a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th shower in the family. I personally think its fine; and many would agree. My husband and I had our Son in May. He was our first, and I actually had 3 showers for him. (my job, my husbands job, and my family.) Some people would say that's crazy. They were all co-ed, and some would say that's crazy too. I guess it just depends on who's giving it. I'm throwing my best friend a second one. she had twin boys 1st. now a girl. Anyone who doesn't like it can stay home :-). Basically, Its hard enough living in this world financially. If you're blessed with another child, why not get some help along the way. And if your fam wont throw it b/c of their pride, throw one yourself. They will still come and still bring a gift b/c of that same pride. The talking will stop and you my dear will get just what you wanted. Its a Win Win situation. Good luck!!! :-)

Ok my quick answer seems to be what you are already getting from everyone already but I agree that is just silly! I just went to a shower for a girlfriend of mine who was having her 2nd baby & I don't think one single person thought it was strange. Why should the 2nd, 3rd or whatever baby suffer & not come into the world with a party & new fun things just like the first one?? You might alter your registry if you saved certain things from your first child but this baby deserves just as many things as your first!

I was told the same thing by my aunt that isn't okay and if someone throws it for you than its fine. :( Bummer. I say do whatever you want especially if you dont have the same gender the second time around! Baby things are expensive!

I think it is okay to have another baby shower. I had three kids. My first two were boys...so it didnt matter cuz they were the same size when born. I think the baby should get a few new things and not just hand me downs. My last child was girl.....so I had to get all new things. And each pregnancy or child are different

I have NEVER heard of this. I think you should have the baby shower. Take all the help you can get, because its all out of love for you and your baby. Everything you get at your babyshower is one less thing you have to stress out about after you have your newborn. Pregnancy and childbirth are stressfull enough. You deserve to be showered right now. Wouldn't you do the same for your friends and family?

I have 3 kids and had a shower for each one!Don't listen to them.My last one was also an open house because we had just moved in .HAVE ONE IF YOU WANT TO !

Hey C.- Personally I think since every child is different the expecting moms shoudl ahve a baby shower for each. Out of my 5 kids I was only given 1 baby shower and that was with my 4th child. I was a little disapointed but oh well.
If your family isn't willing to give you a shower maybe close friends would be or vice versa. Don't know if that helps you out.

I wish I had known that it is acceptable to have another shower for my second child. Coming from the East Coast I know that it is look down upon if you had more then one baby shower. Just like if you lived together before marriage you are not suppose to have a wedding shower. I have truely missed out.
EM

I just read several advice questions to Dear Abby on this very subject. Dear Abby says that it is a breech of etiquette to have a shower beyond the first child. So Dear Abby says ita a faux pas.
However I agree with most of the responses here. I am also pregnant and wondering if it was still considered taboo to have a party about this baby. (This is my 3rd pregnancy but 4th child as my first was a set of twins) I think a good compromise is what others suggested and that is to have the party after the baby comes and call it a welcome baby party. One of my friends also suggested having a diaper party where instaed of gifts everyone brings diapers (either disposabale or cloth whichever your preference is) or if you are going to use cloth a one month gift card to a diaper service. Just a thought. Again if the people in your circle of friends and family think its OK and would come, then go for it!! After all I too feel that every baby is so unique and special that there should be a party to celebrate each one! I am looking forward to reading more answers on this one since I have been wonderingthe same thing :)

I just had my second child 3 months ago and my friend threw me a baby shower. I think it is perfectly fine to have one for every baby. Well to a certain extent. Just tell that family member that they don’t have to go if they don’t want to. :)

I have never heard that. I had a baby shower for my 2nd child. My mom and mother-in-law threw it for me. I've even been to showers where the mother to be threw her own shower. Go for it!

Lots of advice! My understanding was, if the second baby is a different gender or far apart then the shower is needed to suppy you with all the cute clothes and accesories you need. I dont think its a BAD thing in any situation. Congrats on the expected arrival!

I see nothing wrong with having a shower for each new baby. I have a friend who just had a huge baby shower and this will be her third child. People do it all the time.

ABSOLUTELY,,,either the family member has never had kids or does`nt want to buy more gifts. Whatever the reason the family member is wrong...Your idea of a new sister party is an excellent one...congratulations mom,dad and big sis.

I have heard of this and think it is silly. What if you have a child who is the differant gender. I had my two children 5 years apart and I have a totaly differant life since my first. You want to hear something funny? With my first I had one baby shower(8 people showed) and with my second I had 4 baby showers. It is totally up to you babe.

I think that is not right, I am pregnant with my second child and my mom is planning on a baby shower for me. I think that you will find among friends and family agreement with me, maybe this one relative didn't have a baby shower for a second or subsequent baby and maybe just jealous? I would say it would be up to you, you are having the baby, and you would be the one that would know if you could benefit from a baby shower.

Everyone I know has baby showers with all of their pregnancies. I think it is perfectly normal!

I have heard this before and was very shocked about how many people feel that one shower is all that is needed. There is however more to this than it just being 'another' baby shower. It's a celebration of life and a happy event. Can that be celebrated too much? I don't think so. Besides all women need it each other to get together for fun. We don't need a reason or even a place. So why not at a baby shower.
Heather

some folks are into formalities and imagined social constraints. Personally an east-coaster I moved to the west coast to escape all that mumbo jumbo. I say live it up! This babe is special, unique and deserves it no matter what the birthorder is! you go girl and have yourself a partay!
You dont have to invite anyone who will have a problem with it, but that of course is up to you!

I don't know whose family you are from, but I've never heard that one before! I am three days from delivering my second, and I had a baby shower, but I didn't score as much stuff as my first. Of course I hadn't kept anything from my previous pregnancy so I have to start all over again.
Do what you can to get what you need without buying it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's expensive to have to buy for baby all by yourself! Don't listen to some myth your family told you, or you will be struggling!
Good luck and let me know if you need anything.

I feel that you should do what feels right to you. My opinion is that I believe every miracle from god should be celebrated by everybody. Being able to get pregnant is a miracle. There is so many people in the world that are not able to get pregnant, so I think the ones that are able to should and should celebrate as much as they can, and should be proud of it. Don't worry about what other people think!!!

I think that in the past etiquette said that you only have a shower for the first baby. However most of us do not follow that advice if it's even in vogue now. My daughter had a shower for both of her kids. Her sister did for all 4 of hers. Gifts are part of the fun but if the people you want to have to your shower think they're not appropriate make it a party with gifts optional. As others have said, it's a celebration of a new life. Party time!

I do agree with the part of that past etiquette that says the mother doesn't give the shower herself. I have seen that happen and then it does seem a bit tacky.

Hi im 22 and just had my second baby, i also had a few inlaws says it was not appropriate but we threw a bash anyways, it was just a good time to hang out with all my friends before i was up to my elbows in dirty diapers! i had a boy first and still have all the big ticket baby items, so this time i had a book party. in the invite i asked all the girls to go get a copy of their favoirte book from when they were little and write a little personal note to my daughter on the inside cover. It was perfect i got a ton of girly books that will mean alot more to her when she gets older and of course their were little dresses too. but it was fun and just remeber this is the last time for a while that you will get to have everyone around before your preoccupied!

I've never heard anyone say that it's not appropriate to have a shower for your second. I don't see any problem with it. Your second, third, etc. are just as special and important as your first born! Congrats on baby number 2

I had a shower for my second baby, it was less about gifts and more about celebrating the coming addition to our tribe. One of the things I asked for since I didn't need any baby gear was diaper service. People just added to my account and I ended up with almost 9 months of diaper service paid for which meant 9 months of not having to wash diapers! Or maybe as a gift for the whole family-chipping in for grocery delivery? I don''t know if they have Organics to You down there but having fresh organic produce delivered weekly is fabulous. Getting out and about with 2 young children can be a challenge, especially when grocery shopping.

I dont think it is wrong to have another baby shower. Lots of things change over the years.....the crib you had for the first baby maybe old or recalled and the you may end up with a baby that is the opposite sex as the first one. So many things change that I would encourage you to have another one and that way you are able to see what new stuff is out there for your child. If you want you can just ask for a money tree instead of people buying you things that way they can give you whatever amount they want instead of buying something they dont think you need. Good luck.

I hsve 6 kids and had one baby shower for my youngest. You might think about doing a welcoming party after the baby is born and is at home. This way everyone can see the baby and be able to get something for the baby the he/she may need. My son's Girlfriend just had her baby and we are giving her a welcoming party.
Congrats to all who are having a baby.

Mom of 6 kids (25 & 24 year old girls, 24, 22, 21 and 3 year old boy's) and 4 granddaughters.

That is just ridicilous. There is absolutly nothing wrong with having a second or third baby shower. Thats like saying that only the first baby should be celebrated, but thats exactly what a baby shower is is a celebration of the birth of your child.

I so think you should enjoy a second shower! Every child needs extra little goodies and what if the second is a girl and the first a boy??? Car seats and strollers can be fun to color coordinate! I have 3 kids and had a shower for all three! You both sound very dedicated to your family, you may want to check out Lisa U. and her home business. We both work together and our products are Vegan approved and botanically based. You can contact me at ____@____.com or her with her site here. Congratulations and enjoy them when they're small! LOL!