We are expecting our 6th baby at the end of May and are wondering if we should hold a baby shower. We are expecting our 2nd girl and we haven't saved any of our little girls items (who is now 4 years old).
We have a lot of baby boy items since our youngest son is only 18mo...but no little girl items.
So...would it be odd of us to hold a baby shower on behalf of this new baby of ours? We obviously could use the baby girl items.
Thank you so much for all of the wonderful responses...I would have never guessed it would bring so many replies.
First off, I want to clarify to some that we never planned to throw the baby shower ourselves...I suppose I wasn't too clear on that...sorry. My girlfriend had volunteered.
Secondly, we have decided to go ahead with the shower and the theme: "Hang the stork out to dry"...a clothing theme so all our guests know what specifically we are in need of.
This sorta has a play on words too as if we are all done having kids. Not that we have any say in it though...We have long left that up to God's hands. *smile*
Thanks again to all that replied!
~D. & baby #6 :o)
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E.C.
answers from
Phoenix
on
Okay, I have 5 kids, 11, 10, 7, 4 and almost 2...my husband and I have gone round and round about the baby shower thing for years...I say YES! Have one, if anyone needs a baby shower it is a woman with a large family! Good luck and have fun, can't wait to hear what you decide.
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M.G.
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Tucson
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I've never heard of mom doing a baby shower for herself. It is very odd. Maybe not have more little ones if funds are tight.
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P.B.
answers from
Phoenix
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I say go for it. Each child should be welcomed into this world with open minds and open hearts. That is what a baby shower is for. have fun and do not worry over those who may think you are being selfish or demanding. Yu are celebrating the beginning of a new life.
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P.T.
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Phoenix
on
It does not matter if it's your first or tenth child, they all deserve a shower, so relax and enjoy. Congradualtions!
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S.B.
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Phoenix
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I don't usually think it's appropriate. However there is always an exception especially if it's done tastefully by a good friend. Keep it small. On the flip side, people LOVE to give baby presents and I am sure she will receive plenty of clothes.
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A.J.
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Phoenix
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I read a little about this when we were expecting our third in a little over three years.... and what I read as far as etiquette is concerned is that it is a celebration for this baby and it has nothing to do with how many other children you have. That being said, you have to know that some people don't see it this way. Don't get your hopes up because you won't have the turnout that you had with your first. I would recommend registering so that people know what you do need otherwise they'll assume you've kept your other children's things.
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R.L.
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Phoenix
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I don't think it is odd. I think the arrival of every child should be celebrated. Good luck to you and your newest arrival.
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L.B.
answers from
Albuquerque
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Gosh no! and for a SIXTH child? You deserve a parade!!! I think women should have a shower for each child. I only have one child but I will soon be going to a shower for a 3rd child of a friend and am more than happy about it! Since some people are not able to afford a gift you can always say that no gift is required and they can come to just "share in your excitement". They'll probably bring a gift anyways but people who are weird about this will feel more at ease. Congrats and good luck!
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A.S.
answers from
Flagstaff
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Having a baby shower for yourself is odd. That's something a friend or realative should do for you. If someone wants to host the party for you it's fine, but you shouldn't do it for yourself.
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A.M.
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Phoenix
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Not at all too odd. With all those boys, having a girl is definately worth celebrating!! I have 2 boys and 2 girls. My sister has 6 boys and 1 girl. If she ever has another girl, we are totally having a baby shower!! Go for it!
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E.B.
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Phoenix
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I have had a shower for each one of my 5 kids. I think each baby is special and should be celebrated!! We made the last shower a luncheon and really had a great time. If someone doesn't agree, they can simply stay home instead. : )
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C.S.
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Tucson
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I can understand why you need to have a shower for the baby GIRL things. :) Don't worry about that. My grandmother would always say, "Each child comes carrying a loaf of bread under its arm." And it's so true! I've been abundtly blessed upon the arrival of each and every one of my children. Have the shower because you're celebrating her precious life!! Congratulations and Blessings to you and your family!!
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M.C.
answers from
Tucson
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First of all I want to let you know that every thing I am going to share with you comes from a place of utmost support. It is so obvious to me that you and your husband have a great love for each other and your children. My husband and I always wanted to have a big family and although we were unable we have the greatest respect for anyone who is able to give so much love. That being said, I want to encourage you to not expect your friends to shower gifts on you and your child when I suspect that they have probably been generous over the years. I think there comes a point when we choose to have a larger family that we leave it to our friends to honor us and our new family members with encouragement, maybe a meal or two and loving friendship. To continually ask for gifts can really alienate those around you. I don't know how many showers you have had, but I think the limit is two and that is generally acceptable if there is a large span of years between children or if the second child is in conjunction with a second marriage. I hope that I do not sound harsh because I am not intending to be, I am just expressing the polite approach to choosing to have a larger family. I love my little sis, and support her life whole heartedly, but I can not afford her four children at every holiday , birthday and shower that comes. We exchange group/family gifts and we oo and awe and love up on each beautiful babe,usually giving a homemade gift instead of participating in a shower. Those who feel comfortable giving gifts will find a way to do so, but I think asking them to is not in your best interest.
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C.H.
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Phoenix
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I'm one of those people that don't believe in having a baby shower after the first child. I think that if a couple decides to have a large family, that they should be able to support it, including baby clothes and diapers. Family and close friends will usually always send a gift for the birth without being asked to a attended a shower. Too many people use 'baby showers' to get 'free items' from others. Many people invited feel obligated to show up with a gift or not go and send a gift any way. I also don't believe in a 'couples baby shower', where the mom and dad are there.
I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just old school, even though I'm 42 yrs old. Traditionally, a baby shower is given only for the 1st child. Yes, I know things have changed in this world.
Since you have a 18 month yr old boy, how about going to a resale store and trading in his clothes for girl items?Or hitting garage sales? Start saving your 4 yr old daughter's clothes too. Time passes faster then we think. :^)
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C.F.
answers from
Tucson
on
Ever since I could remember, everyone in my life has always had a baby shower for every single kid. Every child should be celebrated!
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B.T.
answers from
Tucson
on
I don't think it is odd at all. Every baby is a new and precious gift and should be celebrated. Go for it!!
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S.M.
answers from
Phoenix
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I think you should hold a shower for every birth. I feel like it is a celebration of that baby!!!
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D.J.
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Phoenix
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I believe very strongly that every baby should get its own shower. You obviously need the gifts, but even if you didn't, the 6th baby is just as special as the first, and the spiritual transformation of "becoming a mother" is still occuring. Congratulations on such a wonderfully large family! What a blessing!!
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D.P.
answers from
Tucson
on
I don't think it is odd, but then I would celebrate every baby myself or my friends have. I would come up with a theme and say it is to celebrate the new baby girl that is coming into your life.
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K.L.
answers from
Phoenix
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In my opinion, it would be weird - no offense!
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C.K.
answers from
Tucson
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I hear this question alot from my doula clients. I think EACH child/pregnancy should be treated as a special and individual event. Regardless of the number of children, each one is deserving of your family/friends love and excitement. Celebrating each one in this way, is honoring them - and your family.
I think a baby shower is definitely a great idea!
P.S. With our last child, since we had both boy/girl items, what we really needed was diapers since my two youngest would both be wearing them at the same time. So, we threw a DIAPER SHOWER. I made invitations out of preemie diapers with the invite inside. It was a huge hit, and we didn't have to buy dipaers for either of our kids for nearly a year, which saved us a ton of $$$
Best of luck and congratulations!!
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B.C.
answers from
Phoenix
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I think it is appropriate to have one if someone else throws it for you, but to keep the guest list to very close friends and relatives. I don't know the ettiquette in having your own shower. Congratulations on #6.
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D.C.
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Phoenix
on
I just had my second daughter. They are 2 years apart. I saved everything form my first because Iknew I was having another child soon after the first. My sister wanted to have a shower for me anyway so she decided to do a diaper shower. Everyone brought diapers and a few brought additional presents. But there was no registering at Babies R Us etc. I got about 6 or 7 months worth of diapers.....which you know is about $700 worth. Probably more than I would have gotten from just gifts. So I would suggest doiong something like that so that you friends and relatives feel the shower is more of a celebration of pregnancy rather than a gift giving party. Then the money you don't have to spend on diapers can be used for the necessities. If you need ideas for a diaper shower I would be happy to help. Good luck...D.
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D.E.
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Phoenix
on
D.,
I don't see anything wrong with having a baby shower for your 6th child. Several of my friends have had a baby shower for each their children. So I say have fun and plan one especially since you are having a girl and don't have anything for her. Maybe on the invitation specify certain things that you are needing and everyone will know what to bring. Oh and Congratulations :)
D.
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T.M.
answers from
Phoenix
on
D.,
Of course you can have one. Every birth is special! I am sure that your friends and family are very excited for you :)
Just ask for specific items such as diapers & wipes, baby girl items, bath items....there is always a need!
Unless you have some fabulous gal pals who offer to take you to lunch for a small get together--you should not solicit a baby shower. You will probably get a few items when you have the baby from friends and family. Target can step in with inexpensive onesies and nightgowns. Good luck.
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J.L.
answers from
Phoenix
on
Hi D.!
Congrats on the baby!!
I don't think it is inappropriate at all! I was thrown 2 showers for my second child! My son and daughter are 15 years apart so you can imagine I didn't have baby items anymore! My hubby and I thought we were done having kids! LOL Anyway, people from work threw me a surprise shower and then my family threw me one as well!
I do agree that someone else should be the one "hosting" it though.
Enjoy your new little girl when she arrives, what a joy! My dauther recently turned 3 and I wish she still fit in my arms! LOL
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T.C.
answers from
Albuquerque
on
Hi D.. Congratulations!
Every baby is a gift, and deserves a warm welcome from those who love her/him!
From an etiquette standpoint: I would suggest you have a friend, family member, or co-worker throw the shower for you, if possible.
Love to you and your wonderfully growing family!
T
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S.D.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
D.,
I agree with everyone that has told you to CELEBRATE YOUR BABY!! All children are different so have a great party for her and you!!!!!!!
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B.M.
answers from
Phoenix
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I think every baby deserves to be celebrated, so I don't think it is wrong to want a baby shower. I say go for it. You might encounter some attitude from people (I did when I was having my shower for #2), but whatever. A shower is a great way to celebrate the coming of a new person into this world. If we don't celebrate that, what is worth celebrating?!? =) I hope you have a great shower!
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C.D.
answers from
Phoenix
on
It is not customary for one to hold a shower for oneself. I, personally, see nothing wrong with having a baby shower for the 6th, especially if it's a different sex, but others think it's odd and off to have one for anything but the first. If there is to be one, however, a family member (like a sister, mother in law, etc., or a friend should hold one.
However, if you're doing it just for the gifts, I'd think twice. Your friends could be "gifted out".
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J.H.
answers from
Yuma
on
Baby showers are not just about getting presents. It is about celebrating the coming of a child into the world - don't even entertain feeling guilty about a baby shower! And...let your friends/family know you need "girlie" things. That will help you get the kind of things you really need. Congratulations!
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J.R.
answers from
Phoenix
on
GO FOR IT!!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HONOR AND CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF YOUR 6TH CHILD.
The rest of your children are watching and will see how excited others will be, and will undoubtedly catch on and be even more supportive. And especially since you could use baby GIRL items. I say DO IT!!
I want to add, I'm the 3rd of 7 children, and my parents, back then, did not celebrate or look forward to the birth of the babies. The pregnancy was kept a secret until mom came home with new sibling. It was a terrible way to bring a child into the family. We were all confused, dumbfounded and hadn't a clue as to what was happening. So I say CELEBRATE, get everyone involved, your own children will carry some part of this tradition into their own families one day, including the not having a baby shower part.
God's blessings!
Jennifer R.
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P.M.
answers from
Phoenix
on
If I'm understanding you correctly, you want to throw YOURSELF a baby shower. Is that correct?
If your friends and family want to hold a shower for your sixth, eighth, twelveth or whatever baby -- great!
However, if you decide to try to throw yourself a shower, don't be surprised if your friends and family have a very dim view of receiving an invitation that basically says, "Come to my house and give me things." They might find this very rude and feel very put out.
Hopefully one of your friends will want to hold a shower for you, but don't be surprised if nobody thinks of a shower for a sixth child/second girl.
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T.A.
answers from
Flagstaff
on
Personally, I've never heard of someone giving herelf a baby shower. So in that respect, yes it would be "odd".
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S.P.
answers from
Phoenix
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I think each new baby is a miracle and something to celebrate! The whole point of a baby shower is to have others join you in that celebration. I also think you have a shower based on your needs. One of my favorite baby showers was one for a mother expecting her second... yes, second set of twins. It was a diaper shower just to help with that major expense (since she would have 4 in diapers!) People brought other things, but it was based on her needs. I have also seen baby showers for mom's with more children who had a "stork the freezer" party and guests made freezer meals for the expecting mom at the party. It was so perfect for a mom who would be busy and tired for the next few months. Have a fun party and make sure guests know you want them to be able to celebrate the miracle of a new life. Each new child is amazing, and should be able to have a "birthday"party!
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A.M.
answers from
Phoenix
on
Of course you should have a shower!!! It's about celebrating this new little life with your family and friends. Even if you didn't need girl items, people want to be part of the occasion and will buy gifts weather you have a shower or not...so why not throw a party?!?! HAVE FUN!!
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C.W.
answers from
Phoenix
on
I'm actually not sure if it would be weird or not. So, I would start mentioning to a few really good friends that you're a little worried about having enough little girls stuff as you've gotten rid of all of it. Maybe they'll let you borrow stuff. Maybe they'll throw you a shower. If it is a weird idea, oh well, it's their weird idea not yours.