My 14 month old will hit my husband and I when she is mad. She'll do this when we take something away or say "no" to something. Is it normal for her to act this way so young? She also will throw her cup and plates on the floor after she's done eating and then give us a look like "what are you going to do about it?" :) I'm worried she might be learning to hit from the other daycare kids. Any ideas on how to get her to stop? Right now we just say "no hitting" but of course that doesn't faze her!
My one year old has been doing this over the last month. No doesn't seem to be working, he's really into testing his boundaries with us right now. So we just grab his hand look at him in the eyes, tell him no, and say that we have to use gentle touches. I don't know about any of you, but sometimes I get really tired of this, but I know it's worth it! :)
yes, this is normal. with my first, I was 'thwapped' in the back of the head so many times...then only thing you can do it hold her hand and say no no....
it is a phase.
they don't have to learn it from anywhere...they just do it.
Krisin,
It is so funny that you sent this request. I just asked this question this morning to a few different people. My 15 month old daughter is getting 2 molars at once. I'm not sure if this is why....but she becomes very easily frustrated and has slapped both myself and my husband and even lashed out at the family dog. It is frightening to see such a little innocent individual show what looks like anger. But I've heard that this is normal and it's only because they can't communicate their feelings yet verbally. So I hope it helps to know others are in the same boat and that I'm hearing as well as your other response that it is a phase and our babies aren't really turning into monsters. :]
Take care.
J.
When my kids do it I correct it by saying would like if other ppl treat you like that but at such a young age all you do is ignore Then she will relize Hey they arent paying attention to me anymore then she will think of a knew way to get your attention Thats all they want is attention good or bad
My son just turned 16 mths and is doing the same thing so I think its normal.
I want to say first of all, it's normal, BUT you can nip it in the bud. (my daughter was a BIG hitter thanks to daycare) Here's what I did...When she hits you grab her hand and tell her no hitting, then separate her from the situation (time out) in her room or a chair in the corner. They say 1 minute for each year they are alive is appropriate. If she throws her plate on the floor, make HER clean it up and any food that hit the floor with it. If she refuses, she goes to her time out place, then make her clean it up when the time out is over. If she refuses again, time out. Once she knows there are consequences to her actions, they will stop. AND at the same time you teach responsibility. It sounds harsh, but believe me, it works.
I have a 13 month old daughter, and she has started doing the same thing. She hits when she doesn't get to do what she wants to do, and she throws her cup or food on the ground when she is done. I've heard that they will grow out of this phase, so that is what I am hoping for, but I'm pretty sure it is completely normal for toddlers.
Totally normal - it's her way of expressing what she maybe can't yet express verbally. not necessarily learning it at daycare; but it is also a possibility.
Just need to redirect her; let her know that hitting is not nice, it hurts people and is not exeptable behavior. She'll get it eventually.
If you aren't sure, I would ask your Pediatrician for advice.
I first want to say that it is normal for children to hit. It is possible she's learning this behavior at daycare, however, I would talk with her daycare provider about this issue and how he/she handles it in the classroom. As a childcare provider for over 7 years now [5 years in a daycare setting] I know from person experience that my following suggestions will work if you are consistent.
Instead of telling her "no" or "no hitting" etc, tell her what she should be doing.
For example
She hits mommy/daddy:
Take her hands gently in yours and tell her, “our hands are for hugging" or “our hands are for blowing kisses" etc
She throws her food on the floor:
Tell her "our plates stay on the tray" and put her plate back on the tray to show her.
I would also suggest teaching your child simple sign language, like "all done" or "more" these signs are very helpful in knowing what your child wants before he/she can speak [I was skeptical at first too, but trust me, it works if your consistent!]
when you tell a child "no" they may not understand that you are referencing the hitting, he/she may think you are talking about the way they are standing, they may have just blinked, or think your mad at the face they just made and has forgotten all about the hitting, so use positive reinforcement. If she gives you a hug, say "I love that you are using your hands for hugging" etc
I challenge you to take the word "no" [or words similar like cant, or don't, etc} completely out of your vocabulary for a week and I believe you will be pleasantly surprised! You may think you sound silly, but once you get use to it, IT WORKS WONDERS!
[You may also want to try suggesting to your child’s daycare provider these same tips if he/she is also concerned about this behavior. Use cautions in your approach, some teachers believe they have everything under control and become territorial. We don’t want to harm the relationship you have with him/her. You may want to try this at home and then tell the provider about your positive results]
I hope this helps you and your family
-MP-
____@____.com
My son did the same thing when he was about that age. He's 20 months now and is out of the phase. Every time he tried to hit I would tell him that we 'hug not hit'. For a while he would hit and then hug but soon when he got upset he would act like he wanted to hit and give us a hug instead. He'll still try to hit once in a while, but it seems like repeatedly giving him another option has helped.
