14 Month Old Throws Sippy Cup, Food off Tray

My kids all did the same thing at that age. We finally learned they were just doing it for the reaction they got from us. We realized that when we totally ignored their behavior at the table, they stopped throwing food and spitting it out. Remember, he's only 14 months old--still a baby. No one would expect him to have any manners. Just enjoy it for what it is for now, and look forward to the next stage-refusing to eat what's on his tray:))

My 28 month son did the extact same things. We never knew when a cup or plate will come flying off his tray. He quit doing this, finally, several months ago. We just would tell him firmly we do not throw things. He finally got the message. I think this is a boy thing. My daughter never did anything like this.

Great responses! I also think 14 month old boys don't have manners (I've known a couple of girls that did). My son was like this, too - he's 26 months now and does a great job at mealtime and if he does do something he's not supposed to do he gets in trouble, but it would not have been effective with him at 14 months. In my opinion, manners are something you learn by example - if you eat as a family, use your silverware, say please and thank you, take you bowls to the sink, he'll pick it up once he understands and if you praise him when he does, it will work out! At the moment, my son seems to think manners are pretty cool.
The food on bowls and plates makes me laugh. I have a friend who had a little girl that's the same age as my son and she would eat off bowls and plates, too - always made me wonder if I was doing something wrong..... but he'll come around! My son just saw it as an invitation to dump. :)

I bought a piece of plastic from the Walmart fabric department - maybe only $1.00 - and we just dumped that out over and over.....even took it out to eat a few times!!

It will get better! 14 months was a CRAZY time for my son!!! I tried to pick my battles........

My 18 m/o does exactly the same thing! It is very annoying and all I can tell you is for the food part, we just try to watch when he starts to get full and play with some of the food, then we take it away. Haven't figured out what to do about the cup though. We have started putting a plastic mat under his chair to catch all the stuff, which helps some, but he still gets some distance on some of the food and then we've got that to clean up. I'll be reading your responses for help with mine too, good luck to us all!

Are you sure you're not talking about MY 14-month old son? He does all of these same things (throws sippy, "clears" tray, and even spits out food for a new one!). We find that he usually swipes off the food once he's been done for a while so we try to watch him closely and remove the tray as soon as he seems finished. It's not a perfect system, and we still get food thrown, but as soon as he starts throwing things on the floor the tray is removed. We also remind him that throwing food is not allowed and show him how to indicate he's done (he's not yet talking so he signs) and where to put his sippy. He's gotten better in the last month. I think this is a common problem--we just need to give it a little time and stay calm and consistent. I'm looking forward to reading other suggestions!

I just read this from Babycenter.com and thought it was appropriate here:

How your 14-month old is growing: Your toddler is mastering new skills left and right these days — from waving bye-bye to drinking from a cup. But one thing he probably hasn't gotten a handle on is adult table manners. And that's okay. It's too early for him to understand or manage neatness. Eating is a learning experience, and at this age learning tends to be messy. So spread a splash mat under his highchair and set him free; let him learn to use a spoon at his own pace, check out the texture of egg, and find out what peas do when thrown.

B.,

Having already been through this twice before - I'm sure you are already doing all the right disciplinary things
like, NOT offering any new food until he has finished what he has in his mouth? taking the cup from him when he is done drinking rather than leaving it on his tray? Don't give him his whole meal at one time, just a couple bites and Explain to him every time you give him something to eat/drink that if he throws it on the floor there will be NO More and then stick to it. If he throws it on the floor then clean him up and remove him from the table/highchair. Wait a minimum of 30 minutes - couple hours before trying something again (shorter time in the beginning and getting longer if needed)...and then try again explaining each time that if he throws it on the floor he will get No More. You will have to do this more often than 3 times a day until he gets the message and realizes that you mean business. He will not starve if he misses a meal. Be consistant and firm and stick with the terms you start with until he gets the message. AND...always, always, always compliment him whenever he does or attempts to do something right. Continue to praise him even after he gets the message until it becomes routine. He only wants your attention and we want to make sure that when we give him our attention its because he is being good...NOT because he is being naughty. If we get upset and turn our attention to him when he is misbehaving then he will continue to misbehave to get more attention.

Children learn at an astounding rate. I don't mean to sound uppity or all-knowing but I do hope this is helps in some small way.

A Little bit about me: I am #5 of 15 children, so I changed a lot of diapers before I had my own. I am a Health and Wellness Advisor and a Shaklee Dist. I help people make informed choices and lifestyle changes to improve their individual health and/or the health of the environment. AND...Yes I do recommend safe, non-toxic 'green' cleaners to everyone, even those who don't have children with ADHD. My website is www.shaklee.net/ser
It is my passion to educate young Mom's about the things they can change within their household that can have a profound effect on those that reside there. If I can help in any other way - please let me know.

S.
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B.,

I am a mom of a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old. Unfortunately, this is a phase that most children do go through. It is a way of showing independence when eating and a way to get a rise out of both Mom and Grandma. A hungry child will eat when hungry, so my advice is, if this is really upsetting you, try to say "Okay, all done!" when he throws something. Take him out of the highchair and set him down with a smile. This in turn will get a rise out of him. If he realizes that he will not get his food or drink and Mom will not have a reaction and there will NOT be a game of how many times will Mom hand it back to me, it will loose its power immediately. Children will experiment with all of their food, the textures and tastes are new to them. They are also understanding that they are finally controlling what they do and do not put in their mouths, or in your case take back out of their mouths.

Good Luck! Try to relax. When faced with a difficult situation with my children I always try to remember that they will eventually grow into normal adults. In your case, a great man with excellent table manners!

My son is 15 months and did the same thing at every meal and I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to break him of his bad habits. He still will spit out food that is in his mouth if you offer him something else and I'm still working on that. Basically we just kept telling and showing him that he needed to put his cup on the table/high chair and not on the floor. After he took a drink I would hold my hand out for the cup and then set it down for him. And then I would start patting the high chair after each drink and when he set it down right we would clap and cheer and now he does it most of the time on his own. It's kind of the same thing with the food. When he's done he thinks he needs to get it off the tray and therefore, just starts throwing things on the floor. I take him down and take him away from the situation. I was wondering if he was too young to try to train him with good table manners. I'm still not sure what to do, but it's not just your son - trust me!

Hi B.! I just have to say that I can not believe one of the responses that I saw posted here. Someone speaking of timeouts for a 14-month old and putting them in a corner all by themselves!!! At 14 months they are still just a baby. At what point do we draw such a distinction between being a baby and a toddler??? Do they somehow miracuously become a toddler just because they turn one-year old? Every child is different in their development and how they grow. First of all, you would never put a 14 month old in a timeout---they are not old enough to understand what that means!! And, it is absolutely not safe to leave a baby or 14-month old alone in a highchair. I can not believe that this is suggested. Do we really think that a 14 month old would understand this type of discipline?? I have three children of my own with my youngest being a baby boy who just turned one year old. He still eats food that I put on his tray and picks it up with his fingers. I would only give him food in a bowl if it was one with a suction that would keep it on the tray. Also, I do not put his drink on his tray at all. He drinks out of a straw in a cup that I have on the table. I give him drinks periodically and then he cannot throw it off the tray. He also tries to toss food off his tray but only when he is done and this is his way of letting me know that he is finished and no longer wants to be there (since he cannot speak yet to let us know). I do not get upset over this but just say "no" to him and then get him out of the highchair. I am completely unconcerned as I know that he will stop doing this when he can verbally tell us he is finished eating. As for manners, he is too little to understand this also. The best thing is modeling good behavior and manners at the dinner table everytime you eat and eventually he will learn this for himself as he develops. As for the person who suggested the time-outs, I noticed that the background is a daycare provider. Hopefully, this provider is not doing the things that were suggested to 14-month olds in her care. Good luck and enjoy him now as they grow up so fast. Soon enough this will be just a fond memory that you laugh about!

He's a child! Its ok! My daughter does the same thing! Her highchair has little cutouts on a removable tray for cups in the top corners and I just started with giving her a stern "no" whens she threw it and I set it in the "hole" and said, "This is where Alaina's cup goes! Thank you!" I acted all excited and now she will pick up her cup and set it there when I'm looking at her and smile like, "look mommy, my cup goes here!" It works 98% of the time and the other time she gets a stern "no" and then I put the cup where it goes and smile. Also, I give her just a few things at once (she shoves as much as she can fit in her mouth too so this helps that also) and she doesn't really throw anything. She tells me when she's done and if she decides to go nuts and throw things off her tray, I take the tray and get her down from her highchair and she's done. After skipping a lunch one day, she got the picture. I also use sign language with Alaina and she likes that-she can tell me if she wants "more" or if she's "all done". Hope this helps!

Hi B.,
My 2 year old used to do the same exact thing. While I can tell you that this is just a phase your little one is going through & that it will end, there are some things to consider to speed up the process a little bit.

As one of the moms said below, you just have to watch him closely & when you see the opportunity to remove the tray I would do so as soon as possible. With my little girl, when she would do it, I would grab her arm (lightly of course) and tell her "no". In this action you're teaching him what exactly is bad. My husband and I just kept up the consistency with this & got her daytime sitters on board with it & the behavior stopped shortly after. I think she started realizing that getting in trouble isn't so fun.

I can't really say if this is going to work for you or not, but it's at least a little bit of hope. This is truly just a phase, but discipline is definitely needed in order to let him learn that this is bad. Good luck!

I couldn't help but to snicker when I read this. All kids do this, but you don't have to let them. Obviously, you're not going to stop it immediately, but your little guy sounds VERY smart. When he says done & swipes the food to the floor, pick it back up, put it on the tray and then say done & take it to the trash & wipe it into the trash can so he can see where it is supposed to go. As far as not putting his food on a plate there's nothing wrong with that.
There's alot of things us parents do that our parents / gparents would be appalled at, but hey who ever said I want to grow up & not change any of the ways my parents raised me. Also, every child is different, in the past it didn't matter all kids were to be the same, act the same, learn the same. That's no longer the theory. Point is parenting changes over time. the basics NO, but in other ways.
As far as spitting his food when he is offered something new, I would have to say put on his tray what you want him to eat / try, and don't offer anything else. Good luck & have fun, after this it will be something else!

I would say that this is normal for a child this age. My children also did this. I agree that trying to be aware when they are done so you can get to it before they throw it. It was a way for my children to get our attention. If they were done and we didn't get to them right away that was when the food and cup would go on the floor. Kind of a demanding way to let us know they are done and they want down now. Some children do it because they think it is funny and that want to see what you will do or they just like to watch the food hit the floor, hear the sound the cup makes when it falls. Who knows what else they get out of it. The thing is they aren't doing it to make you mad or to be bad children. They are learning about the world around them and how things work. Clearly this isn't something you want to carry on. When he does get one by you don't pick it up for him. Tell him "No" then take him down from the chair and have him pick it up and put it back where it is suppose to go. Eventually he will learn that food doesn't belong on the floor and needs to stay on our tray or plate when he begins using them. He may need you to gently guide him to get the food picked up at first but soon you should be able to just tell him to put it back and point. All is not lost with your little one. I promise.

He will grow out of it just keep on with the correcting him when he does it and praising him when he doesn't do it. my granddaughter did the same thing she is 19 months old now and has learned not to throw things off her tray or dump her plate( she still will if I don't pay attention to when she says she is done as she doesn't have a lot of patience yet). Her twin brother has never thrown his food but did the spit food out if you offer him something else. he has finally grasp the concept I guess from watching his sister, that you can keep what is in your mouth and have something in your hand( or both hands) for later. It just takes time. He will still do it if I offer him a drink that he can't carry in his hand - cup and straw.

I got such a kick out of your post, of course I would, I don't have to clean up after him.

I don't have a lick of advice only an observation, I have never ever met a 14 month old with manners.

We have a 13 month old girl and she is usually pretty good about eating when in her high chair. She does have her moments though where it's more fun to play. We try to calmly tell her that's not what food is for and if she repeats we remove her tray for a few minutes. If we put the tray back and she tries to play again, we assume she's finished eating. We try to see it more as teaching her table manners and not so much a situation that needs punishment. She is exploring her environment and doesn't know that food is not for throwing. We don't use plates, etc for the same reason you mentioned. There will be time to teach them to eat from bowls and plates later. Remember that he is 14 months, not 14 years old and if you stay consistent in teaching him your expectations, he will learn them. Hang in there!!

This is easy to correct look at your baby when you see his action to throw tell him NO in a stearn voice Keep your cup on the tray food etc. this will not last long you may hve to retrieve it for a few more days bit it works,if all else fails the first throw and he is down from the highcahir and simply explain to him not to throw.SAHM of 2 and 1 more on the way

All four of my kids did all of this. It doesn't last long.
This too shall pass.
C. R.

I admit, I didn't have time to read all your responses before I made my own, so hopefully I am not re-writing somebody else's suggestions. I have a few.... Both my kids did and do this. Here is what I have found helpful.

It might sound crazy but it's harmless and safe, it requires no yelling, no hand slapping and it is very effective (depending on your kid - one of mine laughted at it and thought it was a fun game so it totally backed fired on him, but it worked great on the other)and that is a spray bottle. Yes, people use it on pets. Yes, it's odd. But, again. No yelling, no slapping no time-outs. Just a quick spray in the face, say no, set the cup back on the tray and repeat if necessary. A few times and they will get the hang of it.

Another is just to not give them a tray full. Only give maybe 2 bits at a time. When they finish those two bites, then they get 2 more. This will help with the mess. But, does require monitoring. :)

It is a phase - but that being said I truly belive it can lead to a "acting out" habit and in the long term if not dealt with can become distracting. I think mostly it an attention geting thing. Expecially at that age. Negative attention is just as good as good and it's best to ignore it, but if you can't (I find that really hard) is not to give them what they want from it. I don't know I probably just contradicted myself, but I think you get what I mean.

Good luck. Boblers (baby - toddlers) are hard, but really fun!

Hi B.,
Well coming from a child care provider, I do teach manners starting from a very young age and I do use time out when it warrants a time out. I'm going to say this 1) don't allow him even at this age to do something that you don't want him to do later on as he keeps on growing up. The other thing he is NOT a baby, he is a toddler and he needs to be treated as such. At this age we are in what I call "training mode", we train them, we show them and we guide them.

That being said - find your mommy voice, your I'm not happy with you one. When he throws the food, you pick it up and say NO, in a stern voice. Then say done, and down.
Next you give him a plate and you put his food on it and when he tries picking it up, you once again in a stern voice say NO, it stays on the table. And once again you ask if they are done.
Next the food spitting out - when he goes to spit out the food, you once again in a stern voice say NO, eat your food. You can have another bite when that is gone.
I would not use time out for this, that just fuels the fire and you will create another bad habit that you will have to work on later. When he does throw his cup tell him no more and put it up. Also start teaching him to put it on the table when he is finished with it or only have cups at meals.
My daycare kids are not allowed to carry a cup around the house during the day. If they want a drink they ask for one and I will get them some water (keep in mind I a toddler myself and have 2 others in care).
These are some of the first words we learn in daycare DONE, DOWN, MORE, CUP, DRINK/JUICE/MILK,EAT, LUNCH TIME, SIT DOWN.

Being in child care we have to serve the child their drink with their meal in front of them and we have to serve their food on a plate, so we have to start early we have no other options. Hope this helps, W. B.

My daughter did that kind of stuff. We made her pick up afer herself. Yes evern at 14 months. We'd had her a paper towel and let her clean some of it up. Took some of the fun out of it.

Good luck!!!