Is It Acceptable to Pay for Just the Kids at a Kids Party, but Not Their Parents

Simply write something like this: Due to the cost per person, we ask only invited child attend. We regret that we can not accomidate siblings. Parents need not stay but are welcome to stay at their own cost of $12 per person. Invited child is already paid for.

Good luck!

I love the way you worded this! Very cute.
Some parents have mentioned not wanting to drop off a five year old. I get that. But you aren't "uninviting" the parents, you are simply asking them to pay their way. I would have no issue with that at all. Sound fun!

If you can't afford to have some or all of the childrens' parents stay, then you're going to have to find a location where you CAN afford it. What happens when you have a few parents that want to stay but they don't have any money on them? You can't exactly tell them no, they can't stay and you can't tell them no, you won't pay for them to stay.

In this particular instance, no it's not acceptable.

I would say "Feel free to drop your child off and go have some 'me time'! But, if you'd like to stay, the cost of an adult ticket is $$. Because of the nature of the theater, no siblings please!"

Love it!

Sounds like a great time will be had by all...way to go Mommy!!

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It's times like this that I just don't understand this site or feel connected here at all....why are so many people giving you grief about this? I just don't get it! Someone actually said your wording was 'tricky'?? It's as spelled out as can be (and beautifully done BTW) and then someone else said for you to change your venue and that a 5y/o b-day shouldn't be this complicated? And then I just stopped reading all your answers..I had had enough :) What is it to them how complicated you make the party, it is what you and your child wants! Sheesh!

I think your party is going to be an amazing experience for all and it's obvious to me that you have thought of everything! Kudos Mommy, seriously!

Happy Birthday to your daughter!!!

Wow, amazed at a few replies here. If I may share my experience with this.

Usually when I take my kids to a party, I go with an understanding that it's a party for kids. I do not expect to part take in the meal or for the hosts to pay for me, the parent, in any way. If I have to stay with my kid, I pay for myself. Also, I have had parents do the same with my kids' parties. I have never had to change a venue bc I can't pay for parents to bowl at a bowling party. You know what I'm saying?!

We have provided cake for the parents when we did McDonald's parties bc there's no way I'm paying for a #3 Supersized for an adult at a kid's party. Just ain't doing it and I don't care who think it's "rude". Seriously?? It's a kid's party. Emphasis on "KID". Now the wording on the invitations may say something like "food and cake for the kids" and "cake for the adults". Parties at venues are now costing $200+. Who has that type of money these days? And who has the right to suggest you change your party if you don't cough up another $100+ to fee grown ups at a kids party???

If they want to attend the movie, they need to pay for it. Otherwise drop off their kid and return at the end of the party.

"Children can be dropped off at xyz location. Parents who wish to stay will need to purchase tickets separately. Please, no siblings."

By kindergarten, kids are being dropped off at parties. It's not out of the question to pay only for guests. In fact, when I was a kid, parents never stayed at parties.

To answer your subject line in your question:
Yes.

Per me and my friends, we word invitations, for example:
"Johnny is invited to Max's Birthday party, at the local movie theater. If 1 parent wants to accompany their child and stay, you are welcomed. But the accompanying parent will need to pay for their own ticket. Lunch is included for the invited child and their 1 parent. We cannot accommodate extra adults or siblings. Please RSVP for attendance or not, by *** via e-mail or phone number ***-****. We need a hard head count for the reservations."

Since when is 5 too young to drop off? Why do people think it's ok to bring siblings? People honestly have no childcare? I have no family in the area but I can easily leave my son with friends for a couple hours. It's not healthy to lack a support system.

Where I am from parents are never invited to the party, it is always drop off and pick up. Five year olds are used to being dropped off at school everyday, they don't need a parent there to hold their hands during the show! I think you worded it very nicely, and it sounds like a really cool party.

A 5th birthday should not be this complicated. Change the venue to a local church or rec room at no cost or low cost. You could have a little tea party where the guests dress up. Rent or borrow a few card tables and chairs, you could get really cute table cloths, plates, napkins, cups etc. at your local party store. Make some simple tea sandwiches, meat, veggie and PB&J, (two pieces of bread, crusts cut off, cut into fourth. Some juices boxes, cake and ice cream. Do any parents play "Pin the Tale on the Donkey" or have a Pinatas anymore? Little kids love those. I would change the venue and let parents know that the party is for the invited child ONLY and there will be adult supervision. If a parent would like to attend, fine, but NO extra kids (especially younger then the five year old).

There is NOTHING wrong with being in control of your own event. My question to you is, if you throw a party at a theater for a five year old, what do you plan for the significant birthdays...i.e. 13, 16, 18 etc? Keep it simple, if you have a big family, you could always have a Sunday dinner or pot luck for family ONLY on another date.

Just say how many tickets will be provided for the name(s) of the child/children you are inviting. I raised five children and I have never heard of anyone asking if they could bring little siblings, or cousins or if I could pay the way of all their adult relatives on hand that day??? I cannot believe what mothers go through these days-it doesn't sound like anyone has any manners left anywhere in the world. Your post is not the first of this kind-it is one of dozens-they all sound like this-maybe invitations should read, "We have taken out a HELOC on our house and would love for your entire family in the 48 contiguous states to join us for three square meals and cake on the day of our child's birthday. Please let us know how many are coming and if they need hotel accommodations, limousines, airfare and have any special dietary considerations, as we have hired a Michelin starred chef to prepare all the meals. We would also like to know how much spending money your family will need for the day of the party. In addition, please respond sometime before the day and hour of the party so the chef knows how many meals of each kind to prepare. Thank you so much-sorry to beg for you to RSVP, we could not afford the mind reader."

I think your wording is great. None the less, I would not drop off my 5-year-old unless I knew the parents and "extra hands" very well.

I see no problem with your plan. I would certainly not expect you to pay for my ticket or for any extra kids.

Yes it is fine to ask the parents to pay for themselves, and to request younger siblings stay home.

This may be a question where there is a lot of regional difference. At 5 all the parties that we have attended included the parents. We did have a science center and a couple of bounce parties in this, and the parents never had to pay. From my own experience booking a party, none of the place we considered (bounce place, children's museum, science center) included the parents in the head count if you booked a party package.
I think it's ok to ask "no sibs please" for something like this.

I would not be comfortable for DD to attend a party by herself at this age, unless I knew you and the other attending adults very well (for example if it included trusted adults like a teacher). We would have to decline an invitation like this.
Good luck!

I'm also sort of surprised at some of the responses. I don't think 5 is necessarily too young to drop off a party. The wording of the invite is tricky, but I kinda think Beth put it the best.

I might put something on the invitation like party includes theatre admission for the invited child, cake, and snacks. That way it's clear that it's only for the child. I do like including something like-- we will meet you in the lobby for drop off at X time and pick up at X time.

of course. it shouldn't even occur to the reasonably bright parent that they or the siblings would be allowed to freeload, but just in case, simply word your invitations courteously and clearly.
khairete
S.

I say go for it, your poem is great! You say you have a couple extra people to help with the kids so it sounds perfect. I think it sounds awesome and I would be fine with this!! If a parent wants to stay they will pay. Or they just don't go. It is a KIDS party. You shouldn't have to provide entertainment for parents or siblings. All these people who feel they have to take themselves and their other children to a party should stay home. I will never, ever understand where someone gets an idea that sibling are included.
Have fun and happy birthday!

The siblings part I get, but here, people don't do drop offs for a 5 year old's party because it's essentially a big, spread out, "city" where we don't always know the parents of our kids' friends very well. Even if I knew you, I wouldn't be comfy with your party set up because it's in a public place and most 5 year olds still need a good amount of supervision and direction, especially in strange surroundings. I wouldn't trust a complete stranger (your "helpers") to care for my child the way i would. For this age of child, I think you should make tickets available to the parents that want to stay. Expecting parents to pay for a present and a ticket for themselves is asking too much. If your party were in your home, I would be more likely to drop off and feel okay about it.

I have to agree that while the party sounds cute, it's sounds like just "too much". Too much expense, too much explanation, too fancy, too many logistics, too many restrictions, too confusing too much moving around, too many rules, etc. When it gets this complicated, I'd think you'd take a step back and reevaluate. Sounds like a lot of energy and money for a party your child most likely will have no recollection of. Save the extravagant party for when she turns 13, or 16.

I think as long as you make it clear that parents have the option of dropping off, you don't need to pay for the tickets of those who choose to stay. But, you need to tell them up front so they are prepared when they arrive. Reiterate that they are welcome to drop their kids off if they don't want to pay.

Send hand written invitations with only the birthday child's name on the envelope. Personalize each invitation:

[Daughter's name} would like to invite "Stephanie" to attend a performance of xxxx show. Please drop your her off at the theater at x time and pick her up at x time. Food and drinks will be served.

I'd probably keep my kid home, because I have 2 younger kids at home, and I am not comfortable with my oldest being dropped off. I can't afford to pay for myself and hire a sitter for my younger kids each time one of my son's 22 classmates has a birthday party.

We would have declined the invitation. At 5, I would not have dropped my son off at a theater. I would have felt it was rude for the host not to pay for one parent and the invited child. I do not expect the host to provide for for the adults.

ETA: I would absolutely decline a party that wanted to 'glam up' my five year old. What about the boys? Does your daughter only have friends who are girls? All of our parties were co-ed at that age (still are and DS is 7).

I'd not even bother to consider this party. Sorry, I don't let my kids go anywhere that I can't go with them. If you want to have such a big party then you have to pay the price. I do recommend that you limit it to a family party or a friend party next time. Have the family one at home with just family. Then have the friend party someplace like this.

I am going to have to say no, it is rude for you to expect parents of 5 year olds to drop them off at an outside birthday party, and if they stay, to expect them to pay admission.

Let me explain where I'm coming from:
I have a 5 yo daughter and a 6 yo daughter. I did drop off parties for both of them when they turned 5 and 6. These were at my house. My 5 yo had 8 girls over for a PJ party, (not sleepover) and parents dropped off at 5:30 and picked up at 8. My 6 yo had a pool party (3 foot high above ground) and we had our babysitter stationed as a lifeguard at the pool. This was also a drop off - 3:30 to 6 but some parents wanted to stay. I had enough food but nothing fancy since it was a kid party.

Alot of our friends do parties at outside places and always order extra food for adults. In the years we have been going to parties, there has only been one time we went to one with no food for adults, it was a Mcdonalds birthday party. I was not at all offended though. Just a comment. At the outside places (karate, gymnastics, bowling, dance, laser tag, pump it up, etc etc) parents NEVER have to pay. They are basically coffee clotching and keeping an eye on their kid.

At the home birthday parties my kids have been to, the parents go nuts with food and booze for adults. I don't think anyone has to do that!

I am pretty much the only one who has started "drop off parties" because my house gets too crowded!

Anyways, I would not expect a movie theater drop off party until at least 7 years old. That's my opinion.

I would absolutely say "no siblings please". But I think parents bringing siblings unless SPECIFICALLY invited, are very rude. And I have 3 kids, and a husband who works alot, so believe me, I understand the juggle involved here. I either have my other 2 dropped off with a friend or relative or ask another friend who's attending the party to take my kid.

In your case, since it is already planned as a movie party - I think you should state on the invite one parent per child is included as a chaperon, and you should ask the theater to have them attend for free. It's silly for them to have to pay.

So, honestly...it's probably a party I would just have my son skip. It seems like too much trouble, and it's kind of rude.

There might be a "nice way" of WORDING, but there is no nice way to be rude. (Sorry, I couldn't find a less harsh way to put my opinion.) I'm sure it's acceptable, but whether or not it's tactful, is up for interpretation.

ETA: To be clear...I would never expect anyone to pay for me, and I have the money to pay. I just think at these young ages, I would expect many parents to want to stay. I would feel rude to host a party, that a person can ONLY stay if they pay for themselves to enter. The whole thing seems a bit befuddled, and I don't think one or two adults is enough to be in charge of 20 children at a party location. That's why I wouldn't go, and not due to any expectations of being paid for.

No I really do not think the one parent should pay. Most parents arent going to leave their 5 year old alone and some would not have the money or realize they were expected to pay for a ticket. I'd pay for one kid and one parent. Be specific on the invite ticket will be provided one child and one adult. You do not want the responsibility for 20 kids on your own in a dark movie theature especially at that age. They get scared want their mommy then your leaving the others alone to find parents

My daughter attends a lot of camps with other schools. I always find it nice that as I am signing her in, there is a young lady waiting to accompany her to the gathering area. Signing the children in and out might be a nice way to keep track of the kiddo's and comfort the parents.

Wow! I wish I was 5 & attending your party! It sounds amazing.

When I grew up, & even now, friends of mine with kids, when parties are held & activities are planned that require costs, usually the cost was covered by each attendee, not by the host of the party. (exceptions to this would be food/cake)

As for whether 5 is too young (not part of your original question, but I think tied into the response based on the age of the children & the expectation that drop-offs would be done), that is probably an individual decision for each parent to make. However, 20 children is a lot for 1 or even 2 adults to supervise.

I do not think it is unreasonable to ask the parents to at least pay for their own ticket (esp since you are generously covering the cost of their daughter to attend) but given the age, you should probably be prepared for a number of parents to want to attend & help chaperone.

maybe something like " My husband or I will be out front to receive your child when you drop him/her off" or " We will meet everyone in the lobby before I take the children down to the party room". If parents aren't staying then I doubt they would drop of their younger kids. I am not sure how you'd word that part.

I wouldn't be comfortable dropping my five year old girls off at a party at a public place. I know some parents would be, but not me (or the parents of most of their friends, to be honest). My girls have been invited to several six year old birthday parties and the only one that was a drop off was at someone's house. All of the parties at places like roller skating, childrens museum, movie theater - the parents stayed.

So yes, I do think it would be kind of rude to ask parents to pay their own way since at this age, most expect to stay. If you were talking about 9 or 10 year olds, I'd say your plan sounds absolutely fine. If you're certain that the norm in your area is a drop off for five year olds (and their four year old friends who aren't yet five, right?), then I'd word the invite the way another poster suggested: "Children can be dropped off at xyz location. Parents who wish to stay will need to purchase tickets separately. Please, no siblings."

I don't understand why people think it's their business to tell you what kind of party to have for your daughter, that is so rude. If their 5yo can't behave without a parent around, and that parent can't possibly trust anyone besides those they have personally vetted and had bonded, they have more problems than you can solve with that nicely worded invite.

I hope you guys have a great party. Your poem is not worded "tricky" or confusing, it states the terms of the party, and if the kids' parents don't want them to go, then they don't go. Not your problem. Few things irritate me more than parents who think they have to be there for every little thing, that people owe the siblings something when they have a party and invite only one, or that no one could possibly watch little Suzie as well as Mommy Dearest.

At 5 most parents will want to stay with their children. I didn't ask parents to drop off their kids only 'til 7 or 8 and then I'd volunteer to drop them off at home. I did a movie party for my youngest when she was 7 and we got a lump sum cost, not a per person cost. So if a parent did stay or a sibling, it was at no extra cost. I set up & provided refreshments in the theater.It's your party your rules, so if a parent opts to stay, you just say, I'm sorry, you'll have to pay for your ticket, the party is just for the kids and either collect the money or direct them to where they can pay. Simple as that. Most parents will understand as it is a KIDS party.