Interesting Learning Experiences from Other Cultures?

In India (at least the area we visit), it is the tradition of the birthday person to feed a guest of honor cake. With their hand. Grosses me out, especially when it is a birthday of a young kid. India isn't known for its hygiene. However, it is rude to refuse, so you kind of have to do it. I'm not usually a germophobe, but I don't like people feeding me food!

Hi erika-

Some years ago...a muslim family moved into our neighborhood...It was the TALK of the town in our then very 'vanilla' neighborhood.

Anyway, our second eldest son became very FAST friends with their son, Adnon. Both very bright youngsters...and the mom, SIMI and I got along well.

Somewhere they must have read that it was 'tradition' here in the US to visit families on christmas eve. As I was BUSILY making preparations on X mas eve... for the next day (chritmas...and family dinner)...there was a knock on the door. Adnon...his mom, dad and two younger siblings had come to 'call' on us...bearing gifts and FOOD!

I, fortunately, had some extra gifts wrapped...and some X mas cookies etc to serve...But I remember with such fondness THEIR desire to 'do what was the 'american' thing' was.

Shortly after 911 they moved from our neighborhood. I think they were moving up'...but some of the 911 residual ugliness may have 'urged' them.

Adnon ended up at a different school...I had personal (divorce issues) of my own...and we lost touch...

I may have to look simi up on google.

I still...to this day...use the lovely crystal vase they brought that x mas eve...and I think of them...and how they tried to honor 'our' x mas traditions.

I hope I would be a considerate in another country as well.

***hmmm..I actually WAS considerate when I lived in other countries...***

Best Luck!
michele/cat

One of my younger sons is friends with a girl from Brazil. The invites to her birthday party this year read from 2-7 PM. The mom was telling me that a few people called to see if she really meant 5 hours and she did. She said that in Brazil that would be a short party - that sometimes when people have parties in Brazil, the guests don't leave even when it's really late and sometimes the hosts just go to bed and say "let yourselves out when you're ready and please lock the door." I thought that was hysterical. She says that people here are much too serious and care way too much about time - and that in Brazil life is about enjoying company, food, music and having fun and partying.

Here, people always answer straightforward. Not in Indonesia, though.
In Indonesia, instead of asking how are you, they will ask: where are you going? Have you eaten something? Sounds like they want to know, but it is not. Because the answer is : Going there. Yes, I have eaten. Thanks.
If you come to Indonesian house, they will give you tea. But don't finish the tea, because it is considered rude. And don't say yes when they offer you tea, it is rude, too. We must answer no, and then when they insisted, that's when we say yes.
Complicated, isn't it?
Also, we tend to adore white people so much. If you visit Indonesia, don't get insulted if people point at you, because you are quite a show, especially in rural area.
Pregnant ladies will want white people to pat their bellies, because they believe the baby will be as good looking as white. We have flat nose
, so having a baby with pointed nose and fair skin are very desirable.

Dawn, actually that's what I teach my son. Never give or take something with left hand, it is impolite. Because usually left hand is used to wipe anus after " that".

I also had some raising eyebrows when I wave my hand to my son. I asked and they said that you wave your hand with palm down if you call your dog, not people. While in Indonesia, if you call someone with palm up, people think you are arrogant and bossy.

My husband dated a foreign exchange student in highschool from Iceland. He visited her after she moved back a few times and told me one weird thing they do there. They leave their babies outside in their strollers sleeping while they eat inside restaurants and such. I guess they like to give them fresh air. Here in the US it would be considered neglect.

I love hearing about the traditions in other countries. For instance in Greece it traditional to greet all visitors outside the door with a spoonful of honey or sweet jam or jelly. The thought is that way their visit will be a sweet one. (or something like that)

I can imagine someone from another country who is not familar with our Halloween tradition of kids running the neighborhood asking for candy, thinking it was a strange tradition..

to give a German W. a carnation is wrong. It's the flower you give at funerals!!

Im Native American (Alaska Native) and African American, my dad is African American and my Mom is Native American. My mother was born in Alaska then and moved to California and was raised there, and my father was born in raised in California. My family still attend Pow-Wows, which we sit in a circle around a large drum. The drum groups play in unison we sing in a native language and dancers in colorful clothing dance around the drum clockwise in the circle. I love coming to these and we have these often when I visit my mom and dad. A couple times in the winter, My sister, brother, mom and dad, and our family go and visit my grandmother in Alaska and have get-togethers or Pow-Wows. One other thing that we're known for is storytelling. There's this one story that tells about the Sleeping Lady, a Mountain in Alaska that is shaped like a lady lying down. There's even a book too!

There are Totem poles that tell stories too, like if you go near Juneau, and Nome you'll see more of these. There are Native Art Programs that they still have to keep the tradition going, and to educate kids in school about Alaska. When I was younger, I remember going on a road trip to Alaska, (yes it was risky,and she was pregnant, it was in the 80's) and we would go sledding, My grandmother would take us to go see the Sled Dog Racing. If You get a chance, go to Alaska, on vacation its Beautiful, breathtaking Glaciers, Mountains, Animals,(Dont be surprised if you see a Bear,or Moose, Or Caribou) Go in the winter time, there are lots of things for you to do, but beware it gets really cold up there!! I enjoyed reading the about the other cultures and thought I'd share a little bit of mine!

My husband's family who is Italian NEVER celebrates bdays (kids or adults) BEFORE the person's actual birthday.. It's seen as bad luck............ Also, we never give knives as gifts ... that is a no no..

We lived for 2 and a half years on a remote island with a very strong Sri Lankan and Indian population (although they were not native to that island either). We were one of only 2 American families stationed on the island.

The hardest thing to get used to was something that was really quite nice. My daughter's best friend in school was from Sri Lanka and spoke Tamil, although the family also spoke English. One day I invited the friend to our house after school so the girls could work on a project and then go swimming, etc. It was arranged with her mom that she would pick the girl up at a specified time.

Well, I heard a knock on the door, and was I surprised! Standing in my doorway was the mom, the dad in his finest clothing, and the girl's brother. I invited them in but was confused about why they were all there. Then the father spoke. He said something like "our family has come to show our gratitude for honoring our daughter as a guest in your home". They didn't look like they were going to just collect her, so I invited them to sit on the patio, and asked them if I could serve them fruit (thankfully that was allowed that day as each day could be different depending on which god was being worshiped that day) and I got sparkling water and lemons and threw fruit in a bowl and set out plates and eventually we had a pleasant visit. But the whole time I was so confused. We hadn't taken their daughter to Disneyland, she just came over to make a poster and swim and hang out for a couple hours.

They knew it was unfamiliar to me, so they enlightened me, that this is their custom, and it is rude in their village for just one family member to show up to say thank you, for even the smallest kindness. The family goes together.

So, imagine my husband's surprise (and not a happy face) when my daughter was invited to their house after school. They treated her with such kindness. But, whenever it was time to go get our daughter, my husband would have to leave what he was doing, and my son would have to stop doing his homework, and we all drove off together to pick my daughter up. The first time it happened, my husband said "why do you need me? Are you afraid of getting lost? Just go pick her up!" When I explained the custom, he said he wondered how anyone in their village got anything done! But, we couldn't risk any offense, so that's how after school visits ended while we were there. A family travels together to pick up their kid, entertaining happens, and the whole family expresses their gratitude and appreciation for the special honor that just took place. A member of our family was a guest of your family. It was quite nice, I thought, but it did take a lot of scheduling and time!

A@ Riley: I eat my dinner like a Japanese woman :)

I'm always amused at how Americans are known the world over for spoiling their toddlers and avoiding discipline before age two, when in many cultures, it's known that a child should be acting well by three as the norm. A child's soul being set by three is a proverb in Japan. I've seen this in India and France as well. While other places expect the kids to join society's expectations, Americans bend expectations to meet their kid's whims.

Ha! I just told my daughter if she reaches her arm out and touches the lady, she is too close. Personal space!

I'm not sure if it's like this anymore, but I went to Ireland in 1992 on a tour with my mother as a graduation gift. The bus driver was 40 and the closest person to my age on this tour, and he would often take me out to a local pub in whatever town we were in so I could get some of the "local flavor" that you don't see as a tourist.
Anyway, he always bought my drinks. He was really insulted when at first I offered to pay for myself, and informed me that the bartender would rather pay for it than let me pay for myself, since women aren't suppose to pay for their drinks. He warned me never to offer to pay for myself again, because I had embarrassed him the first time I did it. They also wouldn't mix my whiskey with anything. I was only 21, had just started drinking alcohol, and didn't like the taste of whiskey straight or with water, so I always ordered it with Coke back home. This was sacrilegious there, and the bartender would always give me a small bottle of Coke and a glass of whiskey, but would never ever mix them for me. In fact they often made a big show of "not watching" while I adulterated a perfectly good glass of Jameson.

In many places I've travelled praising a child to it's parents (what a beautiful, smart, tall, funny, clever, fast... ANY praise) is equivalent to swearing at a child in this country. BEYOND rude. Uncalled for. Friendship ending, enemy making, absolutely intolerable. This is one custom I can NEVER keep straight where it's practiced, so I nearly never praise children's attributes, and instead praise their actions, and never to their parents, but directly to them and NOT anything like "beautiful" etc. that they have no control over. Things like "That WAS very fast!" instead of "You ARE very fast!" or (scary rude), "Your child is so fast!" (invites something terrible happening that could make them 'slow' for the rest of their lives, or if your praise beauty, brings on disfiguring accidents, cleverness to head injuries or death, etc.) It's subtle, but it's key.

((I am sometimes rude on purpose, but I NEVER use this type of rudeness on purpose. Saying what a beautiful baby = I hope someone pours acid on your baby's face... and that's just beyond me.))

When I lived in Japan 20+ years ago it was good luck for a pregnant woman to have her photo taken with a blonde person (I was blonde, and in LOTS of photos with pregnant ladies!!!).

Also in Japan, it was considered rude NOT to offer treats to children (taking candy from strangers) if you were around a child for more than a few minutes (uncrowded train, doctors waiting office, standing in a long line at a store, etc. If there is a child there, one is responsible for either giving them something or giving them your attention for a few minutes. On planes, this often means offering to hold the baby / play with the toddler/ etc. Often gets reeeeally misconstrued by americans.

Similarly; horrifically rude to open a 'real' present in front of the giver AND any present given needs to be met with a present of equal value. (Borrowing is also something of a foreign concept. If you 'loan' something, expect to never get it back, but to recieve something of equal value in return at some point in the near future. The ONLY exception to this 'rule' being 'going away' presents; which need to equal how much the person leaving has meant to you in your life while they were there. When we left, we were given 10's of thousands of dollars worth of presents. We never would have gotten these things while we still lived there (because then we would have had to have reciprocated).

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Japanese tradition of mom eating seperately from the family, after the family has eaten. I didn't get it as a kid. As a 4 meals a day cook as a wife/mother... I JUST WANTED TO SIT DOWN TO SOME PEACE AND QUIET. The few times I could serve my family, and then go read a book/ take a shower/ have some personal time and THEN eat were pure bliss. Oy. It's viewed as a 'subjugating' concept here in the US, but sakes alive, after spending an hour cooking and sweating the LAST thing I wanted to do was then immediately sit down all in a mess and eat/ enforce table manners/hold any kind of conversation. Ugh. No thanks! ((I modified this tradition to that I'd finish cooking, have everything set on 'warm', and then go take a 10-15 minute break to refresh. <grin> Still do!))

In traditional Bali, children aren't set down until their 2nd birthday in some areas, and feet are not allowed to touch the ground for 6 months in other areas. This includes while sleeping most of the time.

In southern Italy (can't speak for the north) NO ONE sees someone shocking (purple hair, etc.), attractive, smelly, interesting, etc. and turns to their friend. INSTEAD they tell the person themselves. LOVE this cultural tradition. Que Bello! Que Bella! can be heard in ANY crowded place hundreds of times. Along with all sorts of "Captian Obvious" type comments. It's this lovely constant flow of information.

Along the Mediterranean (EU, ME, N.Af, etc.) it's traditional to pick "your" beggar. Part of why westerners get "overwhelmed" by beggars is that they don't know this tradition. They'll usually give you their name, and as people approach you, you just say their name (or the intersection) and the hordes move onto someone who hasn't "picked" their beggar, yet! When living/travelling in those areas, I make sure to meet up with "my" beggar every morning on my way out, and spend a minute or two with them on my way back home for the last time at the end of the night. (AKA pick someone close to where you're staying. Word travels quickly when you're consistant, and you only need to ID that you're taken when you're quite far away. I usually give cigarettes in the morning and some food or change at night.