hello,
I gave birth almost 16 weeks ago and everytime my husband and I try to have intercourse
It's so painful, I sometimes can't take it. I heard that if you had bad tears it can hurt ... I had 3rd degree tears ... But it's been almost 16 weeks...
I feel like this is not normal?? Should I call my dr? Anyone else experience this?
Thanks
Are you breastfeeding? If so it could be a "dryness" problem. It could also be that your body just isn't ready yet. Having a baby really is very taxing on the body and the flesh may be willing, but the body is still weak...so to speak. Especially if you tore, you may not be totally healed yet. Sorry to say, but maybe you need to give it more time.
Hi R.
I had a similar problem after I had my daughter. I had a lot of stitching, and it was painful for a period of time. But other things to consider (for me at least) were that 1) we weren't having sex very often, and hadn't been for a long period of time, so every time was not necessarily like the first time, but did require some extra pushing (sorry to be graphic) to get it completed, and also 2) my mind was always preoccupied with our daughter, mostly thinking she might wake up, etc., and so I wasn't ever relaxed enough (physically and mentally). Also, the fact is that I didnt feel very sexy, with something going into where she came out of:)
If none of these are the case for you, a call to the doctor wouldnt hurt, but for me, it was more psychological than anything else.
Hope that helps!
A.
Dear R.,
I would call the doctor. I only remember slight discomfort the first time after having my kids, and I think it was also because I was so tense in the anticipation of it hurting. I am wondering if you are tensing up because you are afraid it is going to hurt. Call the doctor and make sure there is nothing else going on, and if he says no then try to relax yourself and I am sure things will work itself out. Being a new mom and trying to feel sexual is a task for some women in the beginning. For me, sex was the last thing on my mind for a while. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. The secret is to be able to relax and separate the two (mommy and wife).
YEs, YES, YES...See Your Doctor Immediately...You and Your Husband will enjoy your time together more if you're not suffering through some pain...
CC
Took 6mos to a year to not hurt after the stitches; personally I think they did a bad job. NEVER LET AN INTERN STITCH YOU!!!
With the second one, who I had no tearing with, it was much more normal, sooner..
But breastfeeding hormones mean less moisture. Lube becomes necessary!
I had the same problem. They cut me big time, and used forceps. In my case, it took probably about 6 months for it to not be painful, and then up to a year for it to not be at all uncomfortable. You can see your doctor--I'm not sure what they can do for it? We took it slow, used lots of lube. Not to give too much info, but I didn't enjoy it for a long time. Hopefully your experience will be different. Good luck.
