Incident at Work

I know you probably won't want to hear this, but "two wrongs don't make a right."

Regardless of circumstance, if they say no personal calls it means no personal calls. Going in the hall or rationalizing the importance of certain calls over another doesn't exclude you being in the wrong.

However, this person's behavior is concerning. But, it's NEVER a good idea to confront a person who is on a power trip (for lack of a better term).

Coming from many years in HR, my suggestion would be:

- I would set up a meeting now for a later date (explain that you don't have childcare). Let her know that you are having difficulty with this individual and need her help to resolve. Don't take your child to any meeting.

- Let your manager know the specifics of each incident and how uncomfortable he makes you

- If this person starts to exhibit aggression, let your manager and HR person know ASAP

- Ignore this person, in a kind way. If he hangs over you, ask in a nice manner "Is there something I can help you with? I'm busy and need to get back to my work."

Good luck!

k

J.,
So distilling it all down--the issue was over the phone call from your friend, right? (I know he's been annoying more than that, but that was THE issue, right?) You should have your cell turned off at work (or on silent) and your friend shouldn't be calling you at work! What are you supposed to do to help her? You're at work--analyzing bone marrow!
Personally, if I were you, I would do nothing. If he runs like a baby to your manager, and the manager is worth her salt, she will make it a point to talk to you to get your side of the story.
If your productivity is on track and you are following company rules and procedures, you have nothing to worry about.

I would begin documenting everything about this guy. And save it. You can talk to your manager if you get along well with her, but remember this is work and she might be nice but you do not know who's camp she is in. He may back off on his own for a bit. In addition you may have others who talk to you, but I found (a very similar situation for me, too at my job) that those who seem to rally around you also back off themselvs if they are worried about their job. I read the other posters about telling her first, so whatever decision you make, arm yourself. Write yourself notes on emails and save them in the computer about what happened. Kind of like a diary. If you observe something else note that. He is harrassing you, stalking you and should be put back in his place, but you need more than tattling on him to get it to stop. You might point out that this type of behavior can cause people to get nervous and make mistakes, not good for the company.

I'm confused. You don't report to this guy, right? He has nothing to do with your annual review? You have a boss you report to, and if your work statistics bear out that you are a hard/efficient worker, I'm not understanding why you (and everyone else who does not report to this guy) are not telling him to blow it out his ear or what ever other bodily orifices that come to mind. Exactly what is this guys job, and how hard is he working at it if he's so busy sticking his nose in everyone else s business? Your company must have a policy about personal calls (and everyone has an emergency call from time to time - like your house burnt down, a relative has died, your child is in the hospital, etc). If you are following the company policy, then this guy has not a leg to stand on. It's hard, but try not to get emotional at work. Also, if you haven't already, you and your co-workers need to document document document EVERY TIME this guy over steps his bounds. Keep a journal using names, dates, times, etc. His badgering might be negatively affecting your work, and if you can prove he's being a distraction, then he's the one who's in trouble.

Keep a little notebook documenting all your interactions with this guy. Keep your head down and do what is expected of you. If you think he is being totally unreasonable and don't foresee a change in that, not only can clients go to the competition, but you can as well.

The best ammo I have had in office politics is, keep head down, focus on your job, don't engage in the politics, feed others the rope to hang themselves. Usually never fails.

If you are miserable working there, there are always options.

Call her first to see if she can talk. If she wants you to go in and talk then go in and talk. I don't think you should let this go until Monday. It sounds like it is really bothering you and you will have some horrible days coming up if you don't talk about it. Just remember when you are talking to your manager, be calm and stick to the facts. If you start rambling she might not take you seriously. If others have complained about him she will understand where you are coming from. Also, keep in mind that management may have asked him to do exactly what he's doing. You should come out directly and ask your manager if they have asked him to do what he is doing. They might deny it, but it could be. Be firm, but stick to the facts and try not to cry. Good luck!

I would definitely go in and talk to your boss. (BUT you need to find somewhere to leave your 2 year old.)

I would recommend writing a letter to your manager on your day off describing everything that is bothering you about this guy. Then give it to her Monday and talk to her about it. At least this way you can put everything in the letter and won't worry about forgetting something while you are talking especially if you get emotional again. I have the same problem, I got an awful review from my manager that I thought was unfair, and instead of really saying how I felt I just cried like a baby and forgot everything, totally embarassing. I ended up attaching two pages of comments that I typed and sent it to her and HR. I never heard anything about it, but I quit a couple weeks later (had a baby) anyway so I really didn't care at that point. I thought I was being unfairly judged because I was pregnant and my boss was a mean spirited person and resented that I switched my schedule and had to call out sick more that year (my daughter was sick for a month). If no one responds to your letter, definitely follow up on it. People like this man you describe purposely pick on people they see as passive because they know they can get away with it. Stick up for yourself and don't let him win!

I suspect that he has been instructed to keep an eye on everyone on your shift.

I would speak to your Manager ASAP. Get to her first. You need to present your side of the story. I am emotional during confrontations like you are, so I understand that, but try NOT to be emotional when explaining what happened to the Manager. If you have a friend or someone who can watch your 2yo, do that, because you don't want to be seen as unprofessional, and this is a professional conflict. Good luck, let us know how it goes.

As someone who's had a bone marrow biopsy to stage cancer, the first thing I want to say is thank you for the work you do.

Secondly, I'd recommend calling your manager today and discussing the situation so you are being proactive instead of reactive. Chances are, this person and other people there have already been talking about it with their respective managers. I had a similar situation last year when a business partner misunderstood a situation, and instead of coming to me, he went to his manager who when a level above him. I tried calling my manager and didn't actually talk to him until the following morning. He already knew the other person's story but appreciated that I was proactive in bringing-up the situation and setting the record straight about how things went down.

It sounds like this co-worker is way too serious about his job and is bucking for a promotion of sorts. Definitely not the kind of person I'm comfortable around because you're always wondering what their ulterior motive is.

Good luck - please keep us posted on how things shake out.

Does your company have an HR dept? This absolutely sounds like an issue you need to take up with them, depending on how your manager handles things. There are several steps that most companies want you to take before escalating things, and the first thing is what you've already done...talk to the person you have an issue with and tell them that what they are doing is making you uncomfortable. So kudos for being brave enough to do that one.

Next is to go to your immediate supervisor, which you are already planning on doing. I might have told you to wait and see if this guy corrects his behavior, but you're probably right in your concern that he will go to her first and it's only fair that she gets both sides of the story.

So now, I would simply wait and see how he behaves. If he (wisely) backs off, the problem has been resolved and there's certainly no need for you to feel uncomfortable around him. Even though you were crying and upset, it doesn't sound like you crossed any lines. He was doing something that made you uncomfortable (miserable, really) and you asked him to stop. Isn't that admirable? Isn't that what you're going to teach your children to do someday?

So please be proud of yourself. You were incredibly brave for standing up to this jerk...something that apparently no other person in your office was willing to do, except through mgt.

And if he continues to harass you, start documenting it. I mean, literally, get a notebook and start a journal about it. Note times, dates, exact words spoken, etc. If he's intimidating or harassing you in any way, describe it. Whenever possible, communicate with him through e-mail so there is a record of what he says. When you have a decent amount of material (or when you're simply at wits end with him again) go to HR and tell them that this man is "creating a hostile work environment" for you. That's a real buzz phrase for HR and they normally take it seriously. Remember, he's not just being an obnoxious prick...he is making you a victim of discriminatory harassment.

You have more options than you probably realize, so please go into this armed with knowledge. I have a feeling that things will change quickly when it becomes clear to everyone that you know your rights.

And if your company is too small to have an HR dept, take everything I said and apply it to your immediate supervisor or on up the chain of command.

Here's a site you might find helpful: http://employeeissues.com/hostile_work_environment.htm

Best of luck to you, Sweetie.

-S.

I'd get on the horn to your real boss ASAP. Tell her that you are being micromanaged and you don't like it. Explain the whole situation - how long it's been going on, etc. You've been there a long time... you've got clout. I'm sure you've gotten excellent reviews, so they know you are a good employee.
You might also consider putting the whole thing in writing and having it put into your and his personnel file just in case...
Let us know what happens.
LBC

reminds me of when I worked at the mortgage company and we had to sign out if we needed to go to the bathroom so that our manager knew where we were at all times no you should not have to deal with it and I would call your manager as soon as you can ask if it would be ok to come in and talk to her but that you will have your kid with you.

Wow...what a situation!! First of all, you need to be willing to admit to your supervisor that you over-reacted to the situation and did not act professionally in the way that you dealt with the assistant supervisor. (Which IS his title which gives him some supervisory authority or they wouldn't have given him the title!) You started off by saying that if production slips below a certain level that pressure is applied to get everyone back up to the level that they want it to be at. So it is logical to assume that this person is having pressure applied to HIM by his supervisor, to get the night shift's production up and so he is applying pressure to YOU and your co-workers to do just that.
I think what may be needed is a three way conversation between yourself,your assistant supervisor and your supervisor. I understand how difficult it is to keep calm in a pressure filled situation but maybe if you make some notes, about the points you would like to cover, it would help keep you focused on what you are SAYING and not what you are FEELING. "practice" with your husband at home, stay on point, don't attack the assistant personally, but discuss how YOU felt and reacted.Maybe you could come up with some ways that he could supervise without being so "in your face" about it. I doubt that he wants to make everyone uncomfortable or alienate them, but he is expected to keep production up during the night shift anfd is merely doing what he needs to do in order to protect his job.
I know I am coming off as very sympathetic to your assistant supervisor, I don't mean to be one-sided in this but I am trying to think of how you can defuse this situation and not just add fuel to an already unpleasant situation.
Good luck to you.

Talk to management about him. Others have, so it's not like they won't believe you. No one should have to work under those conditions. It will make you hate your job.