In Trouble !

If you don't want another baby, do not have this baby. I had a D&C after having had a C-section years before and had no issues. If you don't want any more kids, then a tubal ligation would definitely be something to look into.

Please consider adoption instead of dnc. Giving a loving couple a child may really help pull you out of your depression. It would put you in control instead of feeling the victim. Then have a talk with your doc about permanent birth control. Good luck to you and you have been doing everything right so don't beat yourself up. Just try to make some lemonade out of your lemons!

Please give the child you don't want to a family that can't seem to have children.

You can know you are doing right by your child. Your child will get a chance to fulfill their destiny. The family you give them to get a chance to love and care for a wonderful baby.

Good luck to you and yours.

ETA: a vasectomy is a simple in-office procedure. actuvalnligation is major surgery & with that comes the risks with ANY surgery. finny yhat your husband "isn't ready to hear about a vasectomy" but you have 3 children already! No method is 100% for sure.
O. of my close friends had her tubes tied immediately following the birth of her second child--done immediately after delivery.

I think he needs to do some research about this very simple procedure!
Good luck!

It's a D & C. (Dilation and Curettage)
That's not an abortion.
I can't see how previous c sections would preclude a D&C, but I'm not a doctor!

Your options are:
abortion
keep the baby
adoption.

No birth control (except abstinence) is 100% effective.
Seek some help for your depression befor making a hasty decision, OK?
All the best.

As young as your children are you may have had post partum depression with the first that became much more serious with the second if there was no treatment. My children were 3 years old (twins) when someone finally recognized that I wasnt JUST exhausted, I had severe post partum depression on top of regular depression from an idiot of an abusive husband.
I was falling apart and didn't even know it. No one is capable of making such a huge decision while they are feeling like you do. Please seek help for yourself so that you can feel better and enjoy your children and life in general. You need time to think, weigh options and make decisions. You wont be able to think clearly until you feel better.
Is it that you dont want any more children or is it that you are so overworked and overwhelmed with what you already have? I know you are likely overwhelmed with two little ones already. It is overwhelming whether you have twins or two close together. Thats a lot of work!
Sending hugs and prayers, too, but get yourself some medical help. It works and you will feel better!

You're young and married with 2 children. There's not any reason you can't have this child. If you and your family don't want it then there are options that are wonderful for other family's.

I do suggest that you consider the Essure procedure. The doc inserts a spring like device inside your Fallopian tubes that is treated with a medication that promotes cell growth. So the tubes basically grow a blockage. The doc goes back in a month or so later and injects dye then checks to see if the dye goes anywhere it shouldn't. Once it stays on one side of the blockage you can't get pregnant anymore.

It is not a surgery or any recovery time. My friend went to the doc in the morning, had them put in, got up and spent the day eating Sushi and shopping. The next day she had cramps similar to a menstrual cramps, not bad enough she took any meds or used heat or anything.

It's a good easy way to take care of getting pregnant permanently.

I am not sure I am reading this right. But when I had my 2 DNC's it was because the babies passed away already and my body was trying to miscarry.

But I think you are actually meaning having an abortion. Please reconsider this abortion decision. You may have been trying to prevent having another pregnancy with contraceptives but this little spirit slipped through. It is not his or her fault.

Just because you view it as a mistake that happened even with trying to prevent...you still had sex with your husband which has the potential by product of creating life.

Please reconsider. Don't make a rash decision due to being depressed. A beautiful option is putting the baby up for adoption and giving him or her to a family so desperately trying to have a family. Give the gift of life. Be the mature,strong woman that you know you can be....give the baby a life and a family who can love him or her. Be a good example to your other two young children.

Your own children are young enough to not understand what is going on. But...later down the road I think with maturity they will admire their M. for making the decision to give that baby life and a home...to give another couple this little miracle baby.

I wish you the best. I am sorry. Listen to your doctors...don't do something so risky just because you want to end this "problem" and be done with it. Then, after the baby is born please consider permanent prevention in the future so you don't find yourself in this predicament again.

To my knowledge you can get a tubal whenever you want once you are an adult. You have two children and now possibly three, so I can't imagine that you will not b able to have one nd everyone I know who has had one has not had more children. Regarding aborting this baby, I have three and they are a handful, but my third is a beautiful little ball of joy. Could you look into some counseling to get you through these difficult days while you adjust to being pregnant again? You can go it a local crisis pregnancy center in your area and they can offer free pregnancy testing, counseling, some offer ultrasound service for free and all can help you pursue placing a child for adoption, if raising a third is too much. However I think just hitting th paus button right now will help. You don't have to make any decisions today. Google 'crisis pregnancy' and the name of your hometown. Give them a call and they will be happy to counsel you and help you in whatever way you need. Wish you the best!

Well if you are sure you don't want any more children then yes, a tubal ligation or vasectomy is an option. I had a tubal when I was 27 because I was sure I did not want to have any more biological children. I had to sign a paper indicating my intention and confirming that I knew it was a permanent form of birth control.

I got pregnant while on birth control pills and when I had an IUD so contraception failed me multiple times. So far so good with the tubal.

Have your new blessing n then you or your husband do something permanent. Think long and hard if you do something permanent. You are young.

Give yourself some time to adjust. I would talk to the dr about your depression. They should be able to help you with that. Honestly and some may not agree but if you have an abortion you may get more depressed after words. I have known people that have chosen to have one and they fell into a much deeper depression. If you don't feel you can raise another child consider adoption. There are so many out there that can not have babies that would give this child a loving family. But again give it time before you make any major dessions because you will have to live with what ever you decide for the rest of your life. A dr should not have a problem doing a tubal on you as you. I had one at 26 and had only had two children. Good luck with wht ever you decide!!!

I have never been in this position, but I like MIchelle's answer. You are in a depression and need help with that. Making lifechanging decisions in a depression isn't a good place to come from. Talk to your doctor, and if you have a minister that can help, talk to them; talk to your husband. I don't know if you've considered adoption, but it may be an uplifting option for you. I am pro-choice, but I also love the idea of giving a child to someone who is crushed by not being able to have a child.

You have to do what will keep you and your family physically and emotionally intact. Hubby should consider a vasectomy as well if you are both on the same page re. no more kids. I wish you the best.

I.:

I'm sorry. I am having a hard time following this - you are pregnant with your 3rd child and don't know what to do?

You want to have an abortion? Or you want to have the baby naturally?

If you do NOT want to get pregnant again - tubal ligation as well as your husband getting a vasectomy would be the way to go. Since you don't have any health problems (that you have mentioned) you would be too young for a hysterectomy and that's pretty radical.

You need to talk with your doctor about your depression and how to get out of it - if you can take medication or if you need a therapist as well.

How did it happen? You had sex. Even though you took precautions...you got pregnant...that happens. nothing is 100% fool proof...even tubal ligation...there have been pregnancies with that as well.

I am sorry you are not happy you are pregnant. Please talk with your doctor!! Hugs to you.

I am sorry you are feeling so conflicted about this baby. I had a tubal ligation done after having had 2 c sections. I stressed to the Dr that I really, REALLY did not want to get pregnant again. He did a great job. So far, so good! It has been 4 years. Everyone wanted to know why didn't my husband just get a vasectomy? He would have, but I was so scared it would fail! I have heard so many times that someone has gotten pregnant after a vasectomy! I felt much more confidant if I "got fixed!" I have almost never heard of anyone becoming pregnant after a tubal. It was a simple process. No, not as simple as a vasectomy, but still, simple. It was done laproscopically, so tiny incisions. Almost no pain (very minor) after, and a very quick recovery. My Dr. did ask, was I very sure I was done having children, as it is not reversible. I was sure. If for some reason I would change my mind, I could be inseminated if I really wanted. I am now 38, so not likely. You are 10 years younger, so ya never know! But, it's good to know it could be an option if necessary. You can have it done immediately after the c section, or you can have it done at a later date. I am very happy with my decision, I hope you will be as well, what ever you decide.

My heart aches for you. You are going through what should be a wonderful experience, but due to the circumstances it sounds like you are very conflicted about how to proceed with this pregnancy, and at the same time worried about what to do after.

One thing I do not see in your post is your husband's thoughts about this. You are asking for good advice - I'm going to say start by talking with your husband, and discuss what is best for your family.

Many couples worry about an unplanned pregnancy due to reasons such as: finances, time, impact on parenting of existing children, health issues (of the mother, or the baby), etc. You haven't told us what your concerns are. I think you & your husband need to figure out if having a baby is just unexpected, is a difficult burden for your family, or truly unwanted.

Allow me to share a story - friend has 2 children (she has medical issues that make it difficult & dangerous for her to carry to term). She is using birth control & becomes pregnant a 3rd time while on medication for her health problems. Unfortunately, she did not know she was pregnant until 2nd trimester - baby is born with health issues. Her husband got a vasectomy, but a little swimmer got free (believe he didn't follow through with the sample checks for the "all clear") & she became pregnant a fourth time. With her 4th child born, her oldest is only 5 1/2. And her 3rd child is disabled.

And despite this, they are making it work. They have cut corners, tightened the budget, adjusted work schedules, etc. to make it work for them. Very rarely is it ever "impossible" to have another child. But, it certainly can be a change from our perceived ideal.

If you & your husband are on the same page after talking, then schedule an appointment with your doctor to do what you need to make it happen, whether that is to keep your baby, abort, or carry to term for adoption.

But if you are both undecided, or opposed with each other, then it would be best to consult someone that can help mediate the discussion, whether that is your doctor, an outside therapist, or clergy person. (I recommend against friends/family, they come with bias and are usually too close to the issue & the both of you)

If you need help getting through the hear & now with your two children, and are concerned about a third exceeding your capacity, make sure to discuss that as well. No one here is a doctor & we can't tell you that you are depressed, or if you are that it's due to your past pregnancies. But it is possible to have periods of depression that cloud our judgement & require us to get outside help (talking, medication, physical help with household, etc.) in order to get through them.

As for the future, despite my friend's issue (ie. husband's lack of follow through) a vasectomy is usually the option of choice. It is minimally invasive, and with proper checkups & precautions until the swimmers are gone, pretty close to fool-proof. If you & your husband are truly done with having children, & he is willing, having him get the proceedure done while you are already pregnant gives the procedure time to finalize without risk.

There are procedures for women, but they tend to be more invasive, require more recovery, etc. If your husband is opposed to getting "snipped" they are options, but I believe they would all need to wait until after your pregnancy is done. =-)

Best wishes, go talk with your husband & take the time you need to make the right decision about this. Make the one you can support now & in the future, whatever that may be.

T.

If I understand you - you're saying you want to get an abortion. If this is the case, no one can tell you what to do but you. (people do what they want regardless of advice given anyway)

Have you wondered or questioned why even with using the pill you find yourself pregnant? Is it telling you something?

We have to be responsible no matter what our choices are, no one escapes this. Do try to see the bigger picture, which is pretty much impossible when you're depressed or in a whirlwind of emotions.

I too had 2 c-sections and have had problems with heavy, extremely heavy periods. I cannot have a dnc due to that. So yes a dnc or abortion is not an option for you as it is very risky since you had c-sections. So for now there is not much to do about this pregnancy, except to have the baby. For the future, yes tubal ligation can be a good solution but also can fail and yes ectopic pregnancies can happen after a tubal. The best option is to have hubby get a vasectomy and if he is refusing then he needs to understand there very likely will be more children. If he refuses you can still get the tubal after this baby is born, but I would really encourage him to get the vasectomy, even if you get a tubal. A vasectomy is a much simpler procedure with almost no risks and complications compared to a tubal which is abdominal surgery under anesthesia. A vasectomy is a quick outpatient procedure no anesthesia and easy in comparison. Good luck!