In the Middle of Child and Fiance

If you are geing pulled between your child and your future husband, your child should win every time. Your future husband is an adult and should act like one. If this is they way it is now, it is only going to get worse once you are marrried. Your child needs your attention, time, love, support, etc... to have a happy life. Your fiance should not be depending on you for those things. This sounds harsh, but anyone that would make me choose between them and my kids would not continue being a part of my life.

I am also a divorced mother. I have two boys, ages 3 and 6. I am dating someone too. My boyfriend is also divorced and has a 2-year-old son. He knows, as do I in reversed situations, that our children will always come first. We have talked about this MANY times and we both feel that if our children didn't come first we would be less of a person/parent. If he didn't love his son as much as he does and put him as high as he does on his list of priorities I would NOT be with him. I have dated men before that admitted to not seeing their children in at least 5 years! I could never be with someone like this.

But on the other hand we NEVER let the other person feel left out with our kids. My boys ADORE him and actually say they're not momma's boys but they're "Bailey's boys". I ask if their daddy's boys and they say "No! We're Bailey's boys". He is gone now (with the Marines) and they ask for him EVERY day. My bf is bald (he is bald on top so shaves his whole head) and now my boys want to be bald.

If my bf EVER asked me to put him first I would KNOW that he cares more about himself than either me or my children. I would only want to be with someone who puts me and OUR kids first.

If there's something that he wants and something that my kids want we all come to a mutual agreement on what we should do together as a FAMILY. (His son lives 4 hours away so he saw him about every 3-4 weeks for a week at a time before he left for the Marines and went across the country.)

I recommend you sit down with BOTH of them and see if you can come to an agreement. It's not about you, him, or your daughter...it's about ALL of you now being a FAMILY and families need to sit and work out their problems TOGETHER with everyone putting in their suggestions and coming to a mutual agreement on how things can work out for EVERYONE involved.

Good luck.

B.

tell them to grow up, tht there's only one of you and you try and be fair. especially your fiance. he sounds very demanding of your time. he has to reconize the child before his own needs

Excuse me but did you not in another request say that your daugther loves your partner. And then in another breathe she does not like to go anywhere with him alone. There are some hidden stories her and you truly need to get honest with yourself. Your child should always come first. Your mate needs to understand that. I do realize that we want someone besides our children to love us and share our life with. But something is going on here within your home, I believe you truly need to look at it..... Talk with your daughter and listen to what she says. This is very important......
Best of Luck with all this and May God Bless you and your daughter.